- Rick's POV -

Cicadas buzz loudly in the distance alongside the sound of the rustling leaves of the surrounding tree, sending a fleeting sense of peace through me. My family is close by, splashing and swimming the creek we found earlier today, enjoying the fresh water after a month of being on the road.

Despite the fact that we're still out in the wild without a safe place to stay, things are good.

We were reunited with Cass and Judith last night, which was entirely unbelievable in itself. Seeing both of my girls' faces once again shook my world.

Despite the incredible reunion with both of them, I couldn't shake the creeping fear that I would wake up and realize it was all a dream. That I had imagined them coming back to me.

It definitely wouldn't be the first time. 

But when I woke up in the early hours of the morning it was Cass who was laying beside me and Carl, curled up with Judith, fast asleep, filling me with unbelievable relief.

Witnessing Cass beside me sent me back to the morning at the library a lifetime ago when I first felt that feeling of attraction for her that I quickly pushed down only for it to resurface many months later. Just like that morning over a year ago, I sat there for a minute, admiring her sleeping face. Watching her, without a trace of worry or dread on her resting expression.

Then when she woke up to help me with a crying Judith, it felt like old times again. The early mornings in those hard months after the farm, before we found the prison when Cass and I were usually the first ones awake. Sometimes we would talk, but sometimes we would just sit there in comfortable silence until the others woke up. I never realized how much I appreciated those small moments until they were taken from me.

This time we enjoyed the morning and I discovered that Judith had said her first word.

The rush of raw emotion that flooded me at that moment was staggering. Seeing my baby girl calling the woman I love, "Mama", was heart-wrenching.

When I saw the expression of guilt and concern written across Cass's face I couldn't stop myself from hugging her tightly once again. I pulled her close to me, wishing my arms could take all the negative feelings from her. I hate that her taking care of my child has filled her with guilt over something she can't control.

But being able to tell her how much I missed her was just as amazing as I imagined it would be. All the while, I was silently hoping I could tell her how much I really care. Then after remembering our situation, I reeled it back in.

As much as I want that, Cass has been through enough when it comes to relationships and the last thing I want to do is make her uncomfortable. She deserves to be left alone to heal.

I honestly don't blame her if she never trusts another man again.

Because as it turns out, I was right about Spencer all along. There was something off about him and I had every right to be suspicious.

Finding out I was right wasn't as satisfying as I imagined it to be. In my mind, we would discover some misdeed and I would be there to comfort Cass in the aftermath. Cass and I would then get together, happy in our prison without that gangly blonde snake hanging around.

But the reality of the situation was nothing I could have predicted.

Seeing how it has affected Cass, how there's something in her demeanor that has changed since the last time I was with her, is horrible. Knowing that snake and fucking Phillip did that to her turns my stomach and aches my heart.

It also sends a spark of gratitude through me every day that I got the chance to fulfill my promise and shoot that motherfucker for doing this to her. To all of us.

And now that Cass is single, I want nothing more than to spill my heart out to her to get this weight off my chest in the hopes she may possibly feel the same.

But it wouldn't be fair. Not after everything that's happened. Not after everything she's gone through.

Even now as I watch the group enjoy the sparkling water of the creek, I still feel that familiar urge to bear my heart and soul to her.

Very purposefully avoiding glancing at the area I know she is swimming around in, I focus on the rest of the group, taking a moment to check that everyone is okay.

In the water to the right of me, Carl and Sophia splash each other aggressively, shrieking with laughter as they become children once again, sending a wave of contentment through me at the sight.

The new members, Eugene, Abraham, and Rosita are relaxing on one of the shallower ends of the river, talking and enjoying the sparse sunlight filtering through the trees above us. Abraham has his arm wrapped around Rosita while Euegen sits awkwardly beside them.

The woman who was part of Phillip's group, Tara, is in the said area I've been avoiding, conversing with Glenn and Maggie, seemingly concentrated on Glenn. I realize with amusement that she's avoiding looking at Maggie just as I am with Cass. It's easy to recognize when you're in the same boat.

Smiling to myself, I check on the water boiling beside me and Judith, watching as the fire purifies our drinking water.

After washing off earlier, I'm sitting alone on one of the large boulders beside the creek, Judith resting in my lap as she finally sleeps. I only entered the creek to clean off quickly before getting out and enjoying my dry clothes, wanting to spend time with Judith who's too small to be swimming like the rest of us.

Glancing to the other side of the creek, I watch as Carol and Daryl lay out the now clean clothes of the family members still enjoying the water, suddenly wondering if Daryl washed off too. From the looks of him, he didn't, making a smile of amusement quirk across my face. Some things never change.

My smile slowly fades with slight nerves as I covertly glance at the area I have been very deliberately avoiding.

It's not like I don't enjoy looking at Cass, I clearly enjoy it too much, which is not something I'm proud of. I loathe that part of me that is drawn to her so intensely that when I'm alone with her, all I can think about is the sensation of my skin grazing hers, the warmth of pulling her body to mine as we embrace, and... other thoughts which corrupt my mind relentlessly.

It's not fair to her, the last thing I want to do is disrespect her, but Jesus- it's so fucking difficult to stop the steady stream of indecent thoughts popping into my mind around her.

It's more challenging today because our group didn't exactly have swimsuits on hand, so everyone is wearing their respective undergarments to enjoy the water while their clothes are washed.

So not only is it Cass, who alone drives me insane, she's in her underwear as she swims. The rest of the group dressed this way doesn't affect me of course, but that's because they are not her.

My gaze hesitantly rises, feeling the urge to make sure she's okay, slightly dreading that I'll see something that will make those utterly obscene thoughts fly through my mind.

She's further downstream, treading water beside Sasha and Michonne, the pretty and relaxed smile on her face immediately making my stomach flip. Those beautiful eyes of hers are lit up by the sun reflecting across the surface of the water as she laughs with our friends. Only her head and a bit of her shoulders are out of the water, so it's not like I can see anything. It's just knowing that under that water she's...

My pulse racing, I can't stop my eyes from raking over her exposed neck and collarbones, her tan skin scattered with water droplets, her soaked hair slicked behind her shoulders. My eyes can't seem to stray from studying the lines and contours of her neck, her collarbones standing out in the spotty sunlight. I suddenly wonder how they would feel under my mouth as I press continuous kisses along her skin, dotting them all the way up her throat. Imagining the sighs of pleasure that would fall from her mouth as I suck at that spot underneath her jaw.

My heart aches and my stomach suddenly spasms, realizing abruptly that I need to look away, swallowing thickly. I close my eyes for a moment, reprimanding myself. I have to stop getting fucking distracted by her and focus on our situation. Said task is not exactly easy.

Not when she's been out of my life for a month and suddenly returns. It's almost impossible to concentrate, to stop myself from admiring her every two seconds because I'm still stricken with disbelief that she's actually here right in front of me.

Judith grabs my attention as she wriggles in my arms, her little brows furrowed as she blinks, waking up. A smile pulls across my face in adoration, still feeling that warm ball of gratitude glow in my chest that she's here too.

"Morning," I murmur softly, watching my girl carefully, making sure she's alright. Judith takes one look at me before erupting in a fit of crying, making me curse under my breath. Her face scrunches up in distress, a loud wail erupting from her mouth as tears flow down her little face.

I try to calm Judith down, bouncing her lightly and checking her diaper to see that it's clean. She ate not too long ago, she can be hungry already, right?

"Is she okay?" Cass's voice trails from downriver, and I nod wordlessly, avoiding eye contact, not needing to see her again and get distracted yet again.

"Shhh, it's okay," I reassure Judith softly, pressing a kiss to her forehead as she continues to wail. Defeat overwhelms me, feeling like I'm losing touch with her.

Maybe she doesn't even know who I am after a month. With my beard and scars, I don't blame her if she's scared of me as well. She was exposed to only Cass for a month, it must be quite a disturbing change to see my face instead of Cass's beautiful one.

I hear some splashing, glad the group has continued with their enjoyment of the water, not worrying about me and Judith. My mind is so consumed with what I should do, I don't notice the person walking up behind me.

"Here," Cass voices from behind me, jolting me with shock. I whirl around with wide, panicked, eyes to see Cass in her tan bra and floral blue underwear, making my heart drop, my skin suddenly buzzing with desire.

My eyes fly to hers, concentrating on the softness in her green eyes and not her exposed and extremely distracting body standing right in front of me, still dripping wet. Jesus.

"Huh?" I ask dumbly, still holding on to the screaming and wiggling Judith, suddenly feeling very hot. A smile twitches at Cass's mouth as she hands me Judith's purple formula bottle, hitting me with realization.

"Oh, right," I breathe, taking the bottle gratefully from her and handing it to Judith. Judith drinks it eagerly, her hands grasping at the plastic, taking me slightly by surprise.

"That was her hungry cry," Cass explains simply, smiling warmly down at me still sitting down with Judith, crossing her arms over her chest. My eyes dart down at the action, making me notice the goosebumps dotted across her skin. I frown slightly at the sight.

"Are you going back in? You look cold," I comment, slight worry ebbing at me. I don't want her to get sick, that's the last thing we need.

"No, I'm clean now. I've been in there so long my skin is starting to prune. My clothes are still drying out over there so I'll just air dry," She shrugs nonchalantly, stepping into the patch of sunlight, illuminating her body and the droplets of water on her skin, making her glisten.

I gulp, averting my gaze quickly. It's like she's doing this on purpose, torturing me with her overwhelming attractiveness. I think I might lose it.

"Here," I say after clearing my throat and mind, standing up and handing her Judith. Cass takes Judith with slight confusion before her eyes widen as I remove my brown t-shirt, handing it to her.

[ A/N: yes the brown shirt teehee ]

"Rick, it's fine, my clothes will be dry soon-"

"-good. Then you can give me my shirt back soon then," I interrupt her, making her bow her head slightly, fighting a breathtaking smile. The charming motion makes butterflies swirl in my stomach for a moment.

"I've got Judith. The shirt is dry and warm. Take it." I insist with expectant eyebrows, pleased when she does as I ask, handing me the still-eating baby. I hoist Judith in my arms as Cass pulls my shirt over her head, covering up that distracting body of hers.

I try not to find extreme satisfaction at the sight of her in my shirt but fail miserably. Maybe it's a stupid man thing, but seeing her, beaming back at me in my shirt, makes my heart tighten with contentment. Not to mention the fact that she looks damn good in it too.

The brown cotton hem ends just above mid-thigh, high enough that I notice the now white scar from the fence on her left thigh, a fleeting feeling of nausea flashing through me at the reminder of that awful day, making me look away quickly.

"Thank you, Rick," Cass expresses, placing her hand on my now bare shoulder tenderly, her smile warm and hand cold, as usual. I smile back at her with a nod of acknowledgment, adjusting Judith against my shirtless body, glancing down to make sure she's still eating, trying to distract myself from the sensation of Cass's hand on me.

"She eats a lot," I comment, frowning slightly. I didn't think she could already be hungry again.

Cass chuckles, the lovely sound meeting my ears like audible gold, making my chest tighten slightly. "She's a growing girl, it's good," Cass reassures me as she drops her hand from my shoulder to rub Judith's tummy, leaning closer to me to grin down at her.

Cass, now far too close for comfort, makes me gulp nervously, looking down at her only inches away from me as she coos at Judith. I'm stricken once again by her beauty, my heart abruptly pounding aggressively against my ribcage as my eyes roam over her captivating face.

The way her freckled nose scrunches as she makes a silly face to entertain Judith, the adoration clear behind her green eyes, and the way those rose-tinted lips are curled up in a grin. My breath is caught in my throat, suddenly feeling like I can't breathe. She's so... overwhelming.

The moment is broken as Cass helpfully grabs Judith's bottle from her little hands once she's finished, glancing at me before she turns to rinse the bottle and place it back in the diaper bag. Finally feeling like I can breathe, I sigh with relief, filling my rigid lungs with fresh air.

Patting her back, I burp Judith as Cass messes with her bottle, forcing myself to focus on the shimmering water of the creek and not the way my shirt rides up slightly as Cass bends over, exposing the bottom part of Cass's ass. My face is red hot as I stare intensely at the water, abruptly wondering if I am going to be able to survive this.

When Judith finally burps, I cradle her again, rocking her softly in my arms. Judith blinks her brown eyes up at me, the blue sky reflecting back into them. I smile fondly, recognizing the similarities in the brown to Shane. Before, that would have filled me with irritation but now... it doesn't.

"Aw see, now she's happy," Cass grins from beside me, making me jump slightly not realizing she had returned, glancing over to see her looking at Judith. Cass's hair is starting to dry, brightening up its copper color and making it stand out against the dark brown of my t-shirt.

I glance back down to Judith, to see her smiling, making me grin, happiness flowering in my chest at her adorable face. "She's so-"

"Da-da" Judith cuts me off, making me freeze, my eyes widening. My head snaps to the side to see Cass, her eyebrows raised, a pleased smile growing on her face.

"You heard that, right?" I check with amazement, making Cass's eyes crinkle as she nods, smiling back at me warmly.

I look back at Judith, taken aback. "Yeah, I'm your dad," I tell her softly, suddenly fighting the lump in the back of my throat. Judith giggles, making it a more difficult fight.

"Dada, Dada!" She repeats, kicking her feet with delight. I snort, glancing over to share the moment with Cass to see her watching us, a soft expression on her face.

"Mama!" Judith exclaims in her small voice as she notices Cass, making Cass break into fond laughter, holding up a hand to her mouth, the corners of her eyes crinkling with delight.

I grin back, drinking in the light elated feeling settling in my chest. Seeing both of them so happy, here with me, is incredible.

There's something that feels so right, having Judith between us, calling us Mama and Dada. Longing pulls at my chest, wanting nothing more than that to be the reality.

"What did she just say?" Carl asks abruptly from beside us, surprising me as I turn to him, that light feeling in my chest fizzling out when I see his disgruntled expression. Watching the three of us with a furrowed brow, his still slightly wet clothes hanging off his body, my old hat perched on his dripping hair.

"She just uh called me Dad, her second word," I inform him after clearing my throat, making Carl eye Cass down suspiciously.

"What was her first word?" He questions shortly, making me glance at Cass, not knowing what to say.

"She called me Mama first, um a couple of days ago," Cass reveals softly, guilt written behind those emotion-filled eyes. I look back at Carl, concerned, to see him squinting back at Cass, his face scrunched in confusion.

"W-why would she call you that?" He questions accusingly, making Cass shift uncomfortably, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

"Carl-" I start, not wanting him to be upset with Cass. Not when she risked her life for a month to keep Judith safe, more than earning the title if he were to ask me.

"No. Cass isn't her mom. We're not related. It's w-weird." Carl mutters with disgust, shaking his head. I frown, disappointed in this behavior before I realize it.

Related.

This is about his little infatuation with her. My mouth parts in realization, suddenly understanding why he's upset.

"Honey, I'm sorry," Cass apologizes, her eyebrows knitted together as she looks at Carl with concern behind her eyes.

"I-I think it's just because I've been the only adult taking care of her in the past month. We can explain it when she's older but she's too young to understand the complicated situation now," Cass explains softly to Carl, angling her head so she can try to meet his averted gaze.

"I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, I tried to get her to stop saying it, but she's a stubborn girl," Cass says fondly, a nervous smile pulling at her mouth as Carl nods, still not looking at her.

She's so good with kids, it sometimes blows my mind considering the fact she isn't a mother herself.

"Maybe we should get her third word to be her brother's name, huh?" I suggest, bouncing Judith, making a smile twitch at Carl's mouth.

"Yeah. Sounds good." Carl agrees, seeming less upset than before, to my relief. Sophia calls him away back to where they had been hanging out because she's found a salamander, making Carl head that way without another word.

Cass sighs, running a hand through her hair, looking off into the forest for a minute, her hand pressed over her mouth. Her green eyes dart around the distant trees, silent as she thinks deeply.

"I wouldn't take it personally. He does have a crush on you, if you remember," I remind her with a slight smirk, making her shake her head, a reluctant grin growing on her face.

She drops her hand from her mouth, placing it on her hip, creasing my shirt in a way that shows off her figure, making my gaze dart back to her face quickly.

"Right, I forgot about that," Cass breathes with that brilliant smile, her cheeks tinting pink.

Something aches in my chest at the sight of Cass in my shirt, sheepishly looking away, that beautiful blush on her cheeks.

"Okay I'm going to need to hold that baby," Carol says abruptly from beside us with a smile, and I comply, handing her the now-content baby. Carol coos at her for a moment, talking to her softly as she walks away.

"She's so loved," Cass says thoughtfully as she watches Carol walk away, a strange expression on her face. I nod.

"It's like you said when I was freaking out about Lori being pregnant. That I have a whole group who will love that baby as their own." I point out, making Cass blink to herself before turning to look at me, seeming surprised that I remember.

Her mouth twitches in a smile as she gazes back at me. Just me and her, smiling at each other. I want nothing more than to cross the distance and kiss that smile. With every silent second that passes, fighting that urge becomes harder and harder.

"Clothes are dry!" Carol announces, motioning the group out of the creek, Daryl still unwashed beside her and Judith now in his arms. I can't help noticing the stark contrast between the gruff, grungy man and the small baby in the fluffy yellow dress.

"Oh, great." Cass mumbles to herself, looking away and breaking the moment, pulling off my shirt, making me avert my gaze quickly out of respect.

"Rick it's fine, you can look. It's nothing you haven't seen before right?" Cass quips brightly, reminding me specifically of the moment back at the library when she was being stubborn and ended up dropping her towel. A moment I have remembered more times than I could ever admit to her.

I nod, feeling a little too warm for comfort as I look back at Cass in her underwear, handing me my shirt. "Thank you for letting me borrow it, sorry it's a little damp now. I guess I was pretty wet," she mutters thoughtfully, suddenly looking concerned as my stomach throttles at her word choice, forcing myself not to think too hard about it.

Jesus Christ Rick, get a fucking grip.

I take the perfectly dry shirt, slightly amused by her worrying. "It's fine Cass, really." I assure her, making her nod with a relieved smile, before turning to retrieve her clothes like the rest of the group.

I hold the t-shirt in my hands, staring at it for a second too long before putting it back on, seeing what she means by the dampness. It's slightly damp on the inside, but it is making me far from angry. Knowing that it was her wet body that made it this way... does not bother me in the slightest.

It stupidly makes me feel closer to her, a small smile pulling at my lips before I can stop it.

- Cass's POV -

"Hey," Someone says from the right of me as the group trudges through the woods, headed onward from the creek. The break was nice to wash off and enjoy ourselves, but we need to get back on the road. Find somewhere for all of us.

I glance over to see Tara, the other new addition to our group, smiling at me. I didn't get a chance to talk too much with her yet but I heard about her and Glenn surviving together before they found Maggie.

"Hey. Tara right?" I check, turning to her as she smiles brightly, nodding to confirm my question.

"Yeah... I just um- wanted to apologize," Tara says seriously, her smile fading as she avoids eye contact, seeming nervous.

My brows furrow slightly in confusion. "What for?" I question, tilting my head, only breaking my gaze on her when I check my footing on the leaf-covered forest floor. Tara clears her throat.

"I-I was with the Governor back at the prison. I was on the side who killed your people. Glenn told me about your past, I'm so sorry, I really had no idea-"

I cut off Tara's rambling, feeling sympathetic for the woman.

"-Tara. Stop worrying about it," I tell her calmly, making her falter in surprise, rising her eyebrows.

I stop walking for a moment to talk freely with her as the group continues moving. She does the same, watching me with a curious look, fidgeting with her rifle handle.

"If Glenn told you everything, you know Phillip hurt me," I begin, and she nods, avoiding eye contact awkwardly. "But the worst part was the manipulation. The control he had over me," I explain, making her nod slightly, her brows knitting together.

"He manipulated your people, who then gave their lives for his command. You didn't. I saw you and it was clear you didn't want to be a part of it." I point out and Tara just blinks at me, seeming surprised that I remember.

I smile slightly, squeezing her shoulder kindly. "You survived with Glenn and helped reunite him with his wife. With all of us. You're clearly a good person. And whether you like it or not, you're one of us now. Enough said." I tell her with a nod of finality.

A tentative smile breaks out on her face, a slight blush tinting her cheeks, probably embarrassed that I'm calling her out on her being a good person. She seems like the type.

"O-okay. Thank you, Cassandra." Tara says sheepishly, glancing down at her shoes for a minute. I grin, happy to have made another friend.

She offers me a fistbump making me pause, my eyebrows raised slightly. I comply, bumping my knuckles against hers, clearly making her happy as she beams back at me.

"Call me Cass," I tell her with a wink, patting her shoulder once before walking on to catch up with the group.

Rick whistles, nudging his head in our direction. "Keep it close," he orders the two of us, making me nod, a slight smile on my face.

"Will do, officer," I say with faux seriousness and a slight salute, making him roll his eyes with begrudging amusement, a slight smirk pulling at that mouth of his. Despite my joking, I do as he asks and increase my pace to walk between Carol and Tyreese, who has Judith strapped to his large chest in the halter.

Seeing that Tara and I are doing what he says, Rick walks ahead to check on the rest of the group. I watch as he goes, my gaze lingering on the brown shirt on his back. The shirt he lent me earlier today.

It was such a simple yet kind gesture for him to do and I have to admit, it was making me feel things being wrapped in his warm shirt.

Shaking my head and those thoughts away, I turn to look at Carol. "I heard about what you did- that the explosion at Terminus was you," I comment, nudging Carol's shoulder, making a proud smile grow on her face. She side-eyes me with a little shrug.

"Did what had to be done," Carol says simply, glancing over to make sure Sophia is still trailing alongside Carl.

"It was badass! You saved them from those assholes," I inform Carol making her chuckle slightly, shaking her head, clearly wanting to brush it off.

"She's right," Tyreese backs me up, making me shoot him an appreciative smile.

"See?" I say pointedly back at Carol with raised eyebrows. Carol sends me an exasperated look. I stay steadfast in my stubbornness.

Carol sighs, giving in, making me grin. "Okay, fine, it was badass," she admits with a slight smile.

"Damn right," I tell her, squeezing her shoulder, grinning.

I look to the right to coo at Judith in the halter on Tyreese's chest for a moment, loving her cute little smile as she bounces with every stride from the large man.

"She likes you," I comment with a smile, looking up at Tyreese's expression. He grins proudly, his warm brown eyes meeting mine for a moment.

"Good, because I like her too," he adds lowly with a kind smile, making me beam back at him, grateful that Judith is getting to spend time with more of her family.

We're still trudging through the forest when it happens.

Suddenly, distant and desperate cries for help emerge from the trees, making all of us freeze in our tracks, looking around for the source.

After Terminus, the group gave me one of the extra rifles that I now raise, pointing in the general direction of the cries for help, my heartbeat suddenly pounding against the vein in my neck.

Near the front of the group, Rick holds up his hand to keep us where we are, his gun at the ready, squinting through the trees.

"Dad, come on! We have to help!" Carl encourages his father, who looks at him, the reluctance clear in his eyes.

"Come on!" Carl enthuses, making Rick's expression twitch with slight frustration before he nods, setting off in the direction, the rest of us following closely.

The former light and joking mood is far gone as we come across a man on top of a large boulder, screaming as a handful of walkers try to get at him.

The group flies into action, taking out the walkers without hesitation. Carl is the first to shoot one down as Rick slams another one into the boulder, smashing the base of his gun into the walker's skull.

I swing the back end of my rifle until it makes contact with a walker beside the one Rick just took out, the force making it collide with the boulder harshly. It collapses onto the floor and without hesitation I stomp its head, blood and brains exploding under the sole of my boot.

I lose my balance slightly, reeling back at the force of which I killed the walker, but am immediately steadied by familiar hands on either side of my back.

Once steady, I glance over my shoulder, sending Rick a quick smile of thanks, letting him know he can let go. He does with a nod before stepping back, aiming his gun at the stranger on the boulder.

The rest of the group has taken out the remaining walkers at this point, leaving the trembling man on top of the large rock, his face contorted with fear. "We're clear, keep watch," Rick orders, and a handful of the group disperses in the woods. Rick then tells the man to get down from the boulder.

The stranger does so clumsily, dropping to the ground, his face scrunched up unpleasantly. Rick angles his head, squinting his hard eyes at the man, assessing him. "You okay?" Rick questions, right before the man vomits, making a good deal of the group look away with distaste.

Having been desensitized in my former career, I don't flinch, furrowing my brows slightly that this man has made it this far yet he still throws up when walkers are killed.

"Sorry," the man, in the priest uniform I realize, apologizes. "Thank you. I- I'm Gabriel." He introduces himself, straightening the lapel of his black blazer that he must be sweltering in.

"D'you have any weapons on you?" Rick asks in that forceful and flat tone, nothing reminiscent of the soft and warm voice I heard earlier by the creek.

The man chuckles, making distaste flutter through me, alarm bells ringing immediately. "Do I look like I have any weapons?" The man asks, still laughing as if it's a ridiculous question to ask a complete stranger in this world.

"We don't give two short and curlies what it looks like." Abraham snaps, making the man falter, seemingly understanding that we aren't kidding.

Slinging my rifle over my shoulder, I cross my arms, squinting as I scrutinize his nervous body language very carefully.

"I have no weapons of any kind. The word of God is the only protection I need," Gabriel explains through his heavy breathing, his dark eyes darting across our still and steady group as he fidgets under our gaze.

"Sure didn't look like it," Daryl grunts from behind me, making me tilt my head in agreement.

Gabriel smiles nonetheless. "I called for help. Help came," He shrugs with a smile, the easy-going tone of his rubbing me the wrong way.

His smile fades as he looks around our group, seeming intimidated as he looks back at Rick, the only one who showed him any sense of kindness. Rick stares back unflinchingly beside me, his expression now hard and unreadable.

"D'you have.." Gabriel falters slightly, gulping before continuing. I smile slightly to myself, remembering how I felt under Rick's intense gaze when I first met him. "..have any food?" Gabriel asks us, his voice wavering.

"Whatever I had left it uh- just fell to the ground," Gabriel adds, laughing breathlessly, sparing a glance at his vomit beside his dress shoes.

Carl steps forward, to the right of me and Rick, sending a slight jolt of worry through me, pushing it down as I convince myself that this guy just might be useless. Maybe it isn't an act.

"We have some pecans," Carl offers, giving him a handful of pecans that Tyreese and Carol had retrieved.

Gabriel takes them, thanking Carl with a smile. Just as he does this, Judith babbles slightly, still in Tyreese's arms, getting Gabriel's attention.

Alarm floods through me as Gabriel eyes down my girl with a smile. I take a slight step forward, my grip on my rifle tight.

"That's a beautiful child," Gabriel compliments us, his eyes bright. Rick and I just stare back at him wordlessly, watching carefully for any sign of brutality behind his friendly gaze.

Gabriel glances at me, surprise fluttering through his expression at the severity of my glare. I remember what I did to the last man who even thought about touching Judith. I will do it again.

"Do... you have a camp?" Gabriel questions the silent group, looking up.

"No. Do you?" Rick questions quickly, tilting his head and raising his eyebrows, taking a step towards him. Gabriel flinches backward, his expression full of fear as he swallows thickly.

"I have a church," He offers, making distrust flash across Rick's expression, flaring his nostrils in sudden anger.

"Put your hands up," Rick orders with disgust laced in his voice, seeming just as fed up with this man as I am. Gabriel does what he says awkwardly, raising his arms above his head. Rick begins patting the man down as Gabriel watches with wide eyes.

"How many walkers have you killed?" Rick asks, making an awkward laugh escape Gabriel's mouth.

"None, actually," He says as Rick forces him to turn around to check his back.

"How many people have you killed?" Rick questions.

"None," Gabriel responds quickly, turning back around as Rick finishes checking his feet.

A pause.

"Why?" Rick finishes off the last question, making Gabriel blink, clearly taken aback.

His eyebrows are turned up in the middle as his brown eyes look back at Rick unflinchingly. "Because the Lord abhors violence," Gabriel responds innocently.

I glance over at Rick, wondering if he sees the hesitation too.

Just then Rick takes an intimidating step toward the priest, his gaze cold and calculating. "What have you done?" He demands darkly, his eyebrows furrowed, eyes suddenly dark.

Gabriel doesn't answer, his face crumpling with confusion and nervousness, squirming under Rick's demanding gaze.

"We've all done something," Rick says simply and I look down at his words. Ain't that the truth.

Gabriel gulps, straightening up slightly. "I'm a sinner. I sin almost every day. But those sins, I confess them to God, n-not strangers," He says, making Rick let out a scoff of disbelief, turning away from the man, glancing at me.

I stare back in disappointment, the both of us sharing our obvious distaste for the man.

"You said you had a church?" Michonne asks.

Gabriel leads us through the woods, back to his church. 

"Earlier, were you watching us?" Rick asks, referring to the fact that Daryl reported that he could tell someone was watching the group last night.

"I keep to myself. People are just as dangerous as the dead nowadays, don't you think?" Gabriel quips.

I sigh heavily, already getting tired of this personality of his. "No. People are worse," Daryl responds shortly and I nod in agreement.

"Well, I wasn't watching you. I haven't been beyond the stream near my church more than a few times since it all started. That was the furthest I've gone before today," he tells us, glancing back before facing forward again as he strides through the woods, the rest of us following close behind.

"Well, maybe I'm lying. Maybe I'm lying about everything and there's no church ahead at all!" He suggests, his tone light and joking as he continues through the trodden path, making me furrow my brows immediately, disgust flaring through me.

"Maybe I'm leading you into a trap so I can steal all your squirrels." He says in a kidding tone, laughing lightly.

I spare a look at Rick, who looks less than amused by the priest's joking, looking at him with severe distrust, his mouth pulled down slightly at the corners as he stares the stranger down.

Gabriel turns around, the smile dropping quickly from his face as he falters to a stop, the rest of us extremely unamused as we stare him down.

"M-members of my flock have often told me that my sense of humor has a lot to be desired," Gabriel gulps with an awkward chuckle, his eyes wide with fear as Rick continues to stalk toward him.

"Yeah. It does," I add coldly, making Gabriel gulp once again before turning back around to lead us to the church, getting smacked by a stray branch as he does, sending a sense of satisfaction through me.

Eventually, we break through the leafy forest, coming upon a small white church with walnut doors and a sign outside that reads 'St. Sarah's Church'. As we walk up to the sun-bathed building, I can't seem to shake the lingering relief that this wasn't a trap like the one my family had to go through at Terminus.

Before Gabriel can let us in, Rick tells him we need to take a look around first. A few of us do so, walking into the dark church, our many weapons drawn and at the ready.

We stalk slowly through the empty church, consisting of the main room with rows of dark wooden church pews and a couple of back rooms on either side of the priest's pulpit. the only windows not blocked by shutters are two tall stained glass windows at the end. They emit multicolored sunlight into the room, making it so we can see where we're going. I help Glenn check out one of the back rooms, my heart in my throat as we clear it.

Eventually, we regroup in the main room, deciding it's clear.

As we walk back into the summer heat, I ignore Gabriel's stupid comment about if someone had been in there it would have been a surprise, walking past to meet back up with Maggie and Sasha, checking that they are good.

I glance over my shoulder to see Abraham talking lowly to Rick as he looks at Judith in Carl's arms. Rick brushes his hand over Judith's soft blonde hair as Abraham talks to him, making me furrow my brows with confusion, wondering what's going on.

"There's a bus out back. He wants to fix it up so they can make it to DC," Maggie explains under her breath, making me nod along to her words, conflicted. While going somewhere with a possible safe area we could go to sounds great, we just found a place with a roof for the night.

At the sound of rising voices I squint through the bright sun to see Mishconne arguing with Abraham, insisting that if they are going to go, they need supplies, which I agree with. We wouldn't make it very far otherwise. Not with two kids and a baby.

Rick nods to her words, thinking deeply. He glances at Abraham. "That's right. Water, food, ammunition." Rick lists off before guiding the group back inside the stuffy church.

The rest of us follow, Glenn stopping by Abraham, explaining that after being apart for so long, we're not splitting up again.

I don't bother explaining anything to the man, my loyalty to Rick good enough for me as I brush past him, heading into the church behind Maggie.

"How'd you survive here so long? Where did your supplies come from?" Rick questions Gabriel as we all settle into the church. I glance up from the pew I'm perched on, curious as well.

"Luck." Gabriel says simply. "Our annual canned food drive happened right before everything fell apart. It was just me." Gabriel explains. I nod along to his words, glancing at his pulpit with lines of empty cans encircling it.

Carl comes up to take Judith from Rick's arms, hoisting her up and holding her close to her chest. I smile slightly, remembering the nights I spent on the road, praying for the day I could see them together again.

"The cans lasted a while. And then I started scavenging," Gabriel says. glancing around the group. Rick turns to him fully after Carl has grabbed Judith, watching the priest expectantly.

"I've cleaned out every place nearby. Except for one." Gabriel says, making Rick tilt his head slightly in curiosity.

"What kept you from it?" Rick questions, his rumbling voice echoing in the tall church.

"It's overrun. About a dozen of the dead inside," Gabriel explains, and Rick nods, glancing at the rest of the group.

"We can handle a dozen." Rick says with an unconcerned look as Sahsa steps up, claiming that she and Bob will go.

My heartbeat throbbing in the vein of my neck, I stand up with determination. "I'll go too." I offer, making Rick turn to face me immediately, his eyebrows furrowed.

"No," Rick replies clearly, making me furrow my brows with frustration.

"I want to help. I-if someone gets hurt I need to be there," I argue, searching his adamant expression as he sighs, looking down.

"I need you here. Judith needs you here." Rick adds, raising his eyebrows expectantly, shifting on his feet and resting his hand on his belt.

"Carl is going to be here. And Tyreese. You know I can handle myself around walkers, right? I killed a dozen in one day by myself out there. I can help!" I implore, desperately searching Rick's unyielding expression.

Rick sighs, looking down for a moment. Then he looks back up, nudging his head to the side, asking me to follow him. With a huff of annoyance, I comply.

He takes me outside, where he guides me, his hand on my elbow until we're on the side of the church, my back against the white panels. Trying to ignore the electricity coursing across my skin from his hand on me I stare back at him, angry and expectant.

I cross my arms tightly across my chest once he lets go of me, looking at me with weariness.

"I need you to stay-"

"-You know, just because I've been taking care of Judith doesn't make me soft, right? I killed a man in cold blood because he tried to touch her. I'm not the same weak woman you met at the farm who needed your help at every turn." I snap, my patience wore thin, hating that he still sees me that way.

Rick's eyes widen at my confession. "...You what?" He questions, his brows knitting together with concern.

I sigh, looking up at the sun for a moment to collect my thoughts, regretting letting that slip.

"On my way to Terminus, before I got to everyone, I had to give Judith some Benadryl to make her go to sleep." I begin, avoiding Rick's gaze.

"As I was making the formula, this guy, who was part of Terminus I think, appears out of nowhere, telling me I had to keep Judith quiet or he would do it himself. When he tried, I took him down. Once I had him on the ground, I pressed my boot on his neck, suffocating him until he... died." I finish, shame bubbling up in me.

I finally find the courage to look up at Rick's expression as he watches me carefully, pain clear behind his gaze.

"You did that- for Judith?" He questions softly, a strange expression as he searches my face. Blinking past the shock at the lack of disgust or horror on his face, I nod with a gulp.

"As I said before- we've all had to do things." Rick says calmly, making me meet his earnest gaze. "To survive." He adds, and I nod to his words, knowing they're true, but not being able to shake the lump in my throat.

"I don't want you to stay because I think you're weak." Rick starts, shaking his head, his mouth pulling slightly in disgust at the words. "I want you to stay because I don't trust this guy. He could be planning something- or have friends lurking around. I want you to stay because I know, now more than ever, that you will be able to protect the kids. And do whatever you need to do." Rick tells me, his tone certain.

I falter slightly at his words, my brows knitting together.

"Maybe that's not fair. To put that on you, but we both know Judith will have moments where she'll just cry until you hold her. She loves you, and as much as I trust Tyreese, he can hesitate. When it comes to doing what needs to be done." Rick reminds me, a darkness behind his eyes I've only seen in my own reflection.

Blinking rapidly, I look down. Doing what needs to be done. Meaning killing. For our family.

"And." Rick starts, his voice slightly softer, catching my attention. I meet his gaze, intently looking back at me.

"We just got you back. I can't lose you again," he says, gulping, the raw emotion behind his eyes breaking my heart.

Averting my gaze, I concede, nodding.

"Okay. I'll stay." I sigh, making visible relief flash across Rick's expression. "-Under one condition." I add, making his eyebrows raise slightly.

"Don't you dare get hurt." I order, making a smile tug at his mouth, his eyes crinkling as he nods.

"Yes ma'am." he replies, making a mirroring smile pull across my face.

I watch as the group leaves from the front porch of the church, holding onto the painted banister. My eyes don't leave their shrinking figures until the group fully disappears past the treeline and my worry for them begins.

That worrying only ceases a few hours later when, from inside the church, I hear distant voices, making me stand up immediately, looking at the double doors.

"D'you think it's them?" Tyreese asks me, still holding Judith to his chest. I begin to walk to the doors.

"It better be."

Luckily, it is, making my heart warm with happiness seeing them wheel carts full of food and supplies toward the church. I sigh with relief, a smile spreading across my face.

Carl, who has been hanging around outside comes up beside me. "See, they're fine," He tells me matter-of-factly, turning to look at me, referring to the reality that I've been stressing for the past few hours straight.

"Yeah, yeah," I admit jokingly, shoving Carl by his hat, earning a laugh out of him as he stumbles slightly.

Rick and Michonne are the first to reach us with their stockpile of food, both of them holding onto the teetering boxes to keep them steady. Rick's eyes immediately flit down my body, probably checking to see if I'm alright before they move to the closed doors of the church.

"Everyone okay?" Rick questions as his gaze returns to me and I nod affirmatively, making relief cross his features. "Good," he breathes, a softness behind his eyes.

"Well, we brought dinner!" Bob says with a grin, nudging his head to the mountain of canned goods.

The once dark and empty church is now alive- lit up warmly by the many prayer candles we took from Gabriel, giving our family feast a welcoming ambiance. We devour the canned food on our paper plates, sitting scattered around the back of the church, our voices filling the building with sound.

I sit on the hardwood floors between Tyreese and Rick, Judith perched on Rick's lap, propped up by his bent knees. "Are you gonna feed me- aah" Rick says, opening his mouth as Judith shoves food into it roughly. I snort with amusement.

The church is loud with the group's conversations and laughter as we relax fully. Glenn, Maggie, and Tara sit on the front pew, not too far from me and Rick. Michonne, now with a full plate of food, sits down beside Rick making a silly face at Judith before she sits, earning a delightful giggle from the baby girl.

"I'd like to propose a toast," Abraham says from the left of me, near the pew, holding up his glass of communion wine. The group's conversations die out and I turn my head, watching the burly man expectantly.

"I look around this room and I see survivors." He begins simply. "Each and every one of you, has earned that title." His voice bounces on the walls of the now silent church as the group watches his, proud smiles beginning to pull across their faces.

"To the survivors!" Abraham calls, raising his glass high, the light of the nearby candle flickering across the wine glass.

The room erupts in cheers, and I join, glancing over fondly to see Rick placing a kiss on Judith's socked foot. Rick meets my gaze, suddenly seeming sheepish.

I beam back at him, suddenly fighting the urge to reach over the small distance and run my hand through his curls. To caress his cheek and feel the dimples on his cheek as he smiles. Swallowing thickly, I turn back to Abraham as he speaks again, forcing the urge to break that boundary far down.

"Is that all you want to be?" the straightforward man asks, the cheers and laughter that were dying out immediately being subdued.

"Wake up in the morning, fight the undead pricks, forage for food, go to sleep at night with two eyes open, rinse and repeat?" He questions the silent room, breaking the bubble of happiness we had been in, reminding us bluntly of the reality outside these white paneled walls.

" 'Cause, you can do that. I mean, you got the strength. You got the skill. Thing is, for you people, for what you can do, that's just surrender." He implores, his rumbling deep voice echoing in the quiet room.

"Now, we get Eugene to Washington and he will make the dead die and the living will have the world again. And that is not a bad takeaway for a little road trip." He says with enthusiasm behind his bright eyes.

Judith babbles to my left and I look over to Rick shushing her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Rick looks back up, glancing at me for a moment before finding Abraham again.

"Eugene, what's in DC?" Abraham questions the man sitting on the first pew. Eugene clears his throat awkwardly, clearly disliking the sensation of the entire group watching him expectantly.

"Infrastructure constructed to withstand pandemics even of this fubar magnitude. That means food, fuel, refuge," Eugene explains in his strong Texan accent, glancing at us briefly. "Restart." He adds.

"However this plays out, however long it takes for the reset button to kick in, you can be safe there," Abraham tells us confidently, directing the attention from Eugene back to him.

I break my gaze from the confident ginger man, glancing down at the dark red communion wine in my chipped glass. The prospect of finding safety like that sounds incredible, but something deep down in me is afraid to trust it. To seek out just another nonpermanent place we will find refuge until it inevitably doesn't work out.

"You'll be safer than you've been since this whole thing started. Come with us." Abraham expresses, a slight edge of desperation in his voice as he eyes us down.

"Save the world for that little one," He adds, looking pointedly at Judith in Rick's arms. "Save it for yourselves, save it for the people out there who don't got nothing left to do except survive," Abraham says.

I watch as my family members exchange glances, clearly thinking about the prospect.

Rick chuckles suddenly beside me, catching my attention as I look at the man smiling beside me. Judith babbles loudly.

"What was that?" Rick asks her softly, tilting his head as laughter from the rest of the group trails around us.

I watch the interaction fondly, a wide smile growing across my face. Rick looks away from his daughter, glancing at me before looking at Abraham. "I think she knows what I'm about to say," Rick begins amusement in his voice.

"She's in. If she's in, I'm in." Rick states, laughing slightly, the rest of the group joining in too. "We're in." Rick decides with a wide grin, his eyes twinkling in the candlelight. I nod beside him, watching as Michonne sighs with relief as a bit of clapping erupts from our happy and equally relieved group.

I reach over, caressing Judith's soft head, exchanging a private look with Rick, answering his questioning gaze with a look of confirmation. I go where he goes.

Conversations break out once again as the tension dissipates from the large room. Sasha comes up, demanding that she needs a turn holding Judith to which Rick complies with an amused smile.

When Rick stands up to pass Judith off, he then moves to talk with Gabriel, sitting alone on one of the pews further back in the church. I get to my feet as well, placing my empty plate in the designated trash pile not too far from where we were sitting.

"Yep. Then! She holds her knife to my neck, holding me hostage." I hear Glenn enunciate enthusiastically, making chuckles rise from where he is. I turn with an expectant look to see his face lit up with a grin as he talks to Rosita, Tyreese, and Eugene.

I cross my arms, raising my eyebrows. "That's not exactly how it went down," I interject defensively, making the group look at me, amusement behind their eyes.

"How?" Glenn questions in disbelief through a laugh as I sit down beside him.

"Okay, it is how it went down" I admit, making the group bark out in laughter, grinning myself.

"I just wanted to explain myself- he was a lot more punchable back then-" I say, erupting in laughter as Glenn shoves my shoulder, grinning himself.

"It was for me, so clearly worth it," Sophia declares, sitting down on the pew beside Rosita, a proud smile on her face.

"Mmhmm, exactly," I confirm, nodding enthusiastically, making Glenn roll his eyes.

"Nearly skinned my neck, but okay," he mutters, his bitterness too embellished to be serious, making me snort, even noticing Eugene crack a smile at our banter.

"Yeah that's nothing, you need to hear the story of our first game night back before this whole thing happened- Cass is brutal when it comes to Monopoly," Michonne interrupts, making the group turn to her with interest as I groan, covering my face with my hands in embarrassment.

"Yep, not escaping this one," Michonne grins before telling the story.

I'm so engrossed in the moment, I don't notice the absence of Daryl, Carol, and Bob, which should have signaled to me that something has gone horribly wrong.

That yet again, the fleeting moment of joy we have all felt has inevitably been broken.