GUILT

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Guilt is feeling self-conscious and experiencing a sense of distress about your potential responsibility for a negative outcome. Like all self-conscious emotions, guilt originates from a process of self-evaluation and introspection and may involve your perception of how others value you.

Psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud originally proposed humans experience guilt for the first time from a fear of parental punishment. Other psychological models of the concept suggest that guilt rather comes from a personal sense of love and compassion toward others, and it's a result of feeling responsible for harming something you value or hold worth in.

This was the psychology behind guilt: a sense of distress when you do something wrong and you are aware of it, or maybe not. Sometimes.

But no one talks about the guilt one feels after surviving a very terrible accident. It's even worse if you were suicidal but end up surviving. It's that heart-wrenching feeling that bubbles up inside your chest, so uncanny that it makes you nauseous all of a sudden. An unimaginable pain stings your heart every moment you live after that instant. It seems like every single muscle fiber is being hand-plucked, so unhurriedly that you wish to break free from it anyhow.

There is no gratitude thereafter; the only thing that stays is remorse. Only guilt. Guilt for surviving instead of someone dear. Guilt for doing absolutely nothing. Guilt for being the chosen one.

It's not easy some day it feels as crushing as ever on your head. But other days, there's nothing, just an empty void where hope once resided. No light, no peace, just the endless echo of guilt reverberating through the empty souls.

I don't know. I am feel empty inside. Every time I see them I feel like hiding myself somewhere near the woods where my everything changed. And when I will go their, so exposed, I wish, they will do the same to me that they did to my only friends."