| Volaw (9) |

Màu nền
Font chữ
Font size
Chiều cao dòng


-
Italics: (Na'vi language, or Metkayina sign language, and Jake's inner thoughts)

A/N: Before we move onto the stort, I know Ive been saying this a lot recently but just a small reminder; don't forget to comment <3 Don't be ghost readers, I love reading and replying to all of your comments and they make my day. You guys give me so much motivation to continue 🤍 I hope you guys like this chapter!

Also, I feel kinda iffy about the this chapter, I don't know why. I guess I'll feel better about it later on but I hope the slow burn is really living up to its name in this story shsj Im trying to do more angst and fluff too. Im gradually including more of those conversations between y/n and Jake so they learn more about each other.
-

You and Jake continued to walk side by side as you awaited his first question. He didn't dare to admit it but he couldn't help but be curious about you and Vokan. He wants to know what the warriors interest roots from, even if it may not be what he wants to hear, Jake's curiosity got the better of him and he wanted to know. He just had to word it in a way that didn't make you uncomfortable or freak you out.

Before he could regret it, Jake opened his mouth and the question came out. "I know maybe its not my place, but what's the deal with you and that warrior. Vokan, is it?" He asked, with his voice as unwavering as he could make it seem. To Jake's surprise, you didn't seem that bothered by the question at all. In fact, you seemed to go in deep thought. Seems like its a frequent question for you.

"Don't worry. I get that question a lot, believe it or not. Vokan didn't start speaking to me up to a year ago, and before that, we never spoke. Now, people know why he's been a lot more close to me recently" You said, turning to Jake and judging by his certain expression, he was listening intently to what you had to say. "And why is that?" Jake inquired, prompting you to sigh deeply and look forward once again.

"It will soon be time for me to find a mate. Tonowari and Ronal have announced it to the clan several times, which has lead to every family of the village to offer their oldest son as a contender for me, in order to marry" You began, and Jake breathed out shakily, not sure why the thought of you mating and marrying gave him slight uneasiness and discomfort. He pushed those thoughts away and continued to listen to you. This was clearly important to you and he would give you his undivided attention.

"I'm set to be the next Tsahik, and with that, comes the honor of a man in the village to be Olo'eyktan. Because of that, many older warriors offer up their sons for the role, which is why Vokan has been showing interest. His father is a very respected warrior. I am not sure if he just wants to mate to be Olo'eyktan or if because he feels something for me, but I don't want to mate just for the sake of it. I don't want an arranged marriage" You said, and Jake nodded. Your situation reminded him of what Tsu'tey and Neytiri were planned to be before he arrived with the Omaticaya, but in this case, you don't have anyone chosen yet.

"So, you asked about me and Vokan, so that's why. If I don't choose someone soon, Tonowari will elect a man for me and that's not what I want" You concluded, and Jake nodded. It made a lot more sense why the warrior continued to attempt to make conversation. He'a just trying to get close to you in hopes of you picking him as a mate. The question was, would you be alright with it if it happened?

"What would you do if he did end up as your mate? Would you be okay with that?" Jake asked, and that question seemed to send you into a bit of inner turmoil. You'd thought of the possibility, and as much as you didn't want it, you wouldn't complain. Your people needed leaders, Tonowari and Ronal needed their successors to be people they could trust, and if it came to it, you would not deny your duties.

"I have to" You stated simply, but Jake didn't know what you meant by that. Would you really be okay with being arranged to be with someone you didn't have feelings for? Your nobility and loyalty would be the death of you, and Jake was starting to realize that as much as you didn't want it, it had to be done regardless.

"I have to because I owe Tonowari and Ronal too much. They have done so much for me without hesitation, as if I was one of their own, and if I didn't do this, what do I have to show for myself? I owe them my life" You said sternly, and Jake stayed silent as he took in your words. As if I was one of their own. He recalled. This whole time Jake believed you were their oldest daughter and that Tsireya and Ao'nung were your siblings by blood. He wouldn't bring that up now. It would dig up old wounds that you've probably spent so long to try and overcome them. He knew that feeling all too well. He wouldn't do that to you.

"So, you said you could choose someone, right? Before Tonowari steps in and elects a mate for you" Jake recalled, and you nodded. The thing is, since Hahona, you haven't felt as strongly for someone as you did for him. You didn't have a lot if time to choose, and if you did, Tonowari and Ronal would have to approve. That's why you've accepted fate and tried to at least give Vokan a chance, as much as you didn't want to. It was complicated.

"Yes. I just haven't found the right one, and its not like it is easy for me either" You say, not wanting to get into detail, and hoping Jake didn't catch on to what you meant. There was too much to unpack and now just wasn't the right time. In the end, Jake was satisfied with the answer you gave him and he wouldn't pry anymore. Not until you were ready. He could tell this topic ran deep and he was not about to pressure you into anything of the sort.

"Do you know who you're looking for?" Jake suddenly asked. You turned to look at him, not expecting that he'd ask something like that, but it made you think. Who exactly were you looking for? What idea of a man did you have in your head for a potential significant other? You didn't know just yet, but you had a feeling it was something that you could list off of the top of your head. It'll come when it needs to.

"I think that i'll just know. Its happened to me before, and when you find the right person, its a feeling that's hard to miss" You said, and Jake nodded. You knew what it was like to be in love. He has been giving you his undivided attention this entire time. He still had more questions he wanted to give you to learn more about you, but its probably been enough for one night. There's just one more thing that he wanted to clear up with you, and just settle right there in that very moment.

"It's getting a bit late, so we should start heading back, but uh," Jake started, slowly halting in his steps, and you turned to look up at him. "There is one more thing I wanted to say" He started, not knowing how to even bring up the question. He just wanted to establish a friendship with you, so why was this so hard?

"I wish I could have shared something about myself to you, like you did, so we can get to know each other. So, I was thinking maybe the next time around, I can tell you something about me instead" Jake asked, not realizing how nervous he was until he was actually getting the words out. By the time he was done, you were looking up at him with an emotion that he couldn't quite decipher.

Next time. You recalled, and thought. He wanted to meet up again like this with you? Did that mean he wanted to establish an actual friendship? The thought of that made your heart leap. He wanted to get to know you, just as much as you wanted to get to know him. Now that he said it, you couldn't wait for the next time. You told him something about you, and it was small baby step to what could lead to something great. The next step was even closer with him offering to tell you about himself and that filled you with happiness.

"I would love for there to be a next time" You smiled, and your response prompted Jake's festures to mirror yours. There was silence, comfortable at that, and it gave you the chance to make the first move. You exhaled and extended your hand out to him. He looked at your hand for a moment, then looked at you, and let his eyes trail back to your awaiting hand. "Friends?" You asked, watching as he let his eyes lock onto yours, trying to decipher you.

It didn't take him long before he lifted his hand and then put his hand into yours, locking them into a firm grip, but not too tight. Neither of you let your gazes leave one another, looking into each other's eyes intently. It was a trance neither of you wanted to break. "Friends," Jake muttered, loudly enough for you to hear and starting to move his hand locked with yours up and down in a handshake. It was official now.

You and Jake were starting from the very beginning, by being friends. You figured it'd be completely harmless, like Zara had said, but for now, you couldn't afford to care about anyone in a romantic way, and you didn't know this about him, but neither could Jake. You two had strikingly similar experiences and it was a mutual agreement to just be friends and see where it goes and what the future holds.

Jake can't seem to stay away from you even if he tried, and you felt the same way. Just a feeling that something was missing whenever you weren't around him from the moment he arrived at the village. It's barely been three days and you already feel something brewing inside. What was happening to you? Jake continued to ask himself what was happening to him. If you two had the coursge to say it out loud, you and Jake would say the same thing.

"Want to head back?" Jake asked in a voice just above a whisper, sending shivers up your spine. You nodded and detached your hand from his. As soon as your hand left his, he immediately noticed emptiness in contrast to the warmth of simply holding your hand. He didn't show it, but he felt bummed. It felt nice to hold your hand. Either way, you two started to make your way over back to path of the huts.

You two walked side by side up until the point that Jake's hut was in sight and it would only be a few seconds until they reached it. There was only silence except for the crashing of waves and eerie sounds of the night. By the looks of it, the kids were asleep as per Jake's request because there was no longer any light emanating from the tent. You and Jake walked closer and came around the corner to finally peek into the hut, and you smiled at the sight. Jake crossed his arms and huffed out a laugh through his nose. He'd never get tired of a sight like this. His children were a blessing to him.

There they were, the kids fast asleep on their mats. Kiri and Tuk were sharing one. Tuk was tucked up against her sister's side while Kiri had her hand on top of her little sister's head. It was truly endearing. As for Neteyam and Lo'ak, they slept side by side, but still in their own mats. Their limbs were spread out like seas stars, showing how deeply asleep they were. You didn't blame them. They must've been exhausted after the day that they've had.

The realization that it was time to bid Jake goodbye for the night, and you've had such a nice time with him that you were sort of dreading it. You'd see him the next day to continue training anyway so you tried to push your disillusionment to the back of your head. You turned to look at him, seeing that he was leaning against the wall with the fondest look on his face. Anybody could tell that he would do anything for his children and he loves them more than life itself. He was a good guy.

"I guess I should go now" You spoke up, bringing Jake back to reality as he turned to look at you and nodded, looking at you intently. "We will continue your training tomorrow, okay?" You smiled, and Jake stayed silent as he took in your words. He would get to spend more time with you after all. He wouldn't admit it out loud, but with his newly found friendship with you, he wanted nothing more than for tomorrow to come already.

"I'm looking forward to it" Jake muttered, smiling at you softly. His eyes scanned every inch of your face, taking notice of how your eyes glistened in the moonlight. His heart spiked at the mere action of looking at you, but he managed to reel and reign himself in. Your eyes looked somber and saddned, and he wondered what it was that could cause such a reaction. Had he said something wrong?

"Goodnight, Jake" You said, letting your body language speak for you as you began to step closer, and then placing your hand on his arm. He visibly tensed but he wasn't uncomfortable by any means, in fact, he was beginning to realize how much he enjoyed being close to you. He refused to believe that it was because there were feelings brewing inside. That concept was starting to feel foreign to him.

He doesn't know what to register as love after not being with someone for so long. Being with Neytiri was all he knew and it's only been a year since she passed that he refused to let himself be close to you and have a repeat of what caused him so much agony in the past. You and Jake were friends, and he enjoyed being around you. He wasn't quite sure if it was simply platonic or a romantic connection that he was feeling, but he hoped it was the latter.

"Goodnight, Y/n" Jake replies back, in a tone merely above a whisper. You removed your hand from his arm and stepped around him, beginning to head back to your own tent. Jake stayed frozen on the spot, not knowing why his heart was pounding so much and why he felt that the moment your hand left his skin, he felt like there was something missing. He felt breathless and his mind continue to race with confusion. What was happening to him?

He tried to ignore the heat on his face and the pounding of his heart against his chest while he stepped in completely inside his tent, walking over to his mat and lay down to sleep next to his children. His mat was in between Neteyam and Kiri, so he tried to walk around them (and not wake them up in the process). When he was finally laying on his back with an arm behind his head and his other arm splayed over his stomach, Jake only stared up at the ceiling.

Jake's face was unchanging but what he was feeling on the inside was a whole different story and it did not reflect on his inner emotions in that moment. Its been two days. Two days since he's met you. He was sure that his inner turmoil was because of you and he didn't know what to do. This felt so foreign to him, feeling like this for someone else. Jake tried to convince himself that what he thought he was feeling wasn't true, because after so much time of thinking he couldn't begin to even feel something like this for someone else, you came into the picture and he began to question everything. He wasn't capable of love again, and he wouldn't put himself through that anymore. He couldn't do that to himself.

-

As for you, you weren't any better. Meanwhile, as you walked back to your own tent, your mind felt like it was spiraling. You stepped inside your home, seeing that the torches were barely giving out any light and were completely burnt out. Trying to push your intrudinb thoughts to the back of your head,
you sighed and walked over to all of torches, blowing out what was left of them one by one.

When your home could only be lit up by the night sky, you walked over to your sleeping mat and sat down, preparing to lay on it and hopefully go into uninterrupted sleep. You cleared out some space of clutter around your sleeping area, but when you had enough space, you layed on your side, and let out a shaky breath while slowly letting your eyes flutter shut. Your mind was blank, which was rare, but it didn't last very long. You weren't surprised.

As you began to let yourself succumb to sleep, you began to feel transported. This happened often. Too often. And if history was any indication, this night wouldn't be any different to how it's been for the last year. It has only gotten worse and you always expected the worst. It was all blurry and distorted for a moment, but then, it started to clear up and the very same image resurfaced inside your head.

When your view started to clear up, you realized that you were standing on a sandy beach with crystal clear waters washing up to the shores. This island or beach of some sort was completely foreign to you. It may just be a random isle outside of Awa'atlu, but it was probably still part sea clan's territory.

You let your eyes trail over the area, and you felt confused as to how serene and peaceful this was. Your consciousness somehow knew that this isn't how your dreams were like every night. Eywa knows that this is what you go through every time you close your eyes, and nobody else knows. They couldn't know.

Not Tonowari, Ronal, Zara, or anybody else. You couldn't bring yourself to let others know how vulnerable you feel. You already felt miserable enough.

You turned your head and looked into the horizon of the beach, but still nothing. It was just a normal beach. It was a normal island. Perhaps your mind was going easy on you tonight and was actually giving you a break for once. Still, you didn't let your guard down.

Even so, just as you thought of trying to even enjoy this peaceful dream, you blinked once and the landscape changed. The sand below you waa trailed with blood and from what you could see, it lead over to the expanse of the shores, seemingly never ending.

It looked like the trail itself was uneven lines, as if someone was trying to drag themselves across the ground. The thought of that made your stomach churn. What was this about?

Through no fault of your own, your feet started to move on their own as you began to walk beside the trail of blood in attempts of following it and seeing the cause. Anybody who did this would know its a bad idea because its evident that it'll end badly, but your conscious won the battle of curiosity and was speaking and acting for you.

What was the purpose of this dream? Was it a sheep disguised in wolf's clothing, trying to give you a false sense of hope that this wasn't just another way to add to your misery?

Even with all of those thoughts begging you to turn back or at least stop walking, you continued to walk through the trail of blood and it seemed endless. The path didn't end. It was as if nothing horrifying was expecting you on the end of this trail. The water was gently washing up on shore, the sand was white and pristine, and the breeze was all too calming, which felt unsettling in many ways.

You didn't know when it happened, but suddenly you came a crossroads in your path. There were these boulders lined up next to each other, blocking your path, and not letting you go through, which seems like a blessing, but your curiosity was getting the best of you.

You continued to walk forward and when approaching the rocks, and began to climb over them, still completely unaware of what was on the other side. You continued to climb up until you were on top of the boulders and quickly began to climb down. The blood trailed over the top of the rocks too, concerning you. What lead up to this?

The moment you got the down the boulders and climbed down, you turned around and your blood ran cold. You felt your breathing stop and get caught up on your throat. As tears began to brew in your eyes and you choked on small sobs coming in. You stumbled back as you stepped backwards, refusing to believe what was in front of you wasn't real.

There he was. Hahona. Just as you had pictured him from what the warriors described when they found him, only this time, much, much worse. This is much worse than you could have ever imagined.

His body down in the sand, lifeless, and not moving a muscle. Tears streamed down your face as erratic and violent sobs erupted from you. You leaned back against the boulder and as much as you wanted to, your eyes never left your late husband. You couldn't bring yourself to do it, as much as it hurt to lay eyes on him.

"No..." You whispered, burying your face in your hands as you dropped to your knees and continued to cry. If this is truly what he looked like, you wished you could know for sure so you could truly start to move on and get closure. You couldn't live like this anymore.

You missed him, way too much. You saw this sight every night, and it never got easier. You had to pretend like you had a good nights sleep, when in reality it's just the opposite.

You continued to cry, feeling like the tears would never end. The mere feeling of being side by side with someone who you know isn't going to be there when you wake up. The same sigh has been engraved in your head for months, and its gotten worse.

You sob endlessly by Hahona's side, even if you knew he wasn't there. You should not have let your guard down, letting yourself be vulnerable. When would the suffering end?

Your eyes snapped open and you sat up on your mat with tear stained cheeks and heavy breathing. Your heart was beating loudly against your ears, and your pants were erratic as you tried to get back to your senses. You adjusted your vision and you looked outside, seeing that it was now daytime once again. Light was beaming in through the cracks of your hut. You could hear voices outside which meant that the villagers were up and running.

Memories of your nightmare started to flood your mind, and the fact that it happened again didn't make it any less painful. You sighed and wiped the tears from your face gentlu, not recalling ever shedding them. Then again, it wouldn't be the first time. You felt drained, exhausted, tired, numb and every feeling in the book. You took a few minutes to take some deep breaths, in and out. The moment you had to leave this tent, you needed to look as okay as you possibly could, just like you always did.

The most painful thing about it is that you never realky knew how Hahona died. The warriors found him mangled, severely impaled, and lifeless. You didn't know what lead up to that, and that's why it was left up to your imagination and consciousness to cruely try to decipher it on its own. Its painful and agonizing to relive it every night, not even knowing if its accurate at all in the first place. You would give anything to know how he died, and get closure. Its been a year and you wanted to get rid of that continuous cycle of torture.

The simple thought of leaving your tent reminded you of something else. Jake. You had to continue training with him today. That's good. You'd be able to get your mind off of what you saw and focus on something else. These regular nightmares weren't doing you any favors and the idea of spending the day trying to make up for your nightmare-filled evening sounded so great. Anything you could do to try and ease your nerves already brightened up your mood. Besides, hanging out with Jake has been fun. Now that you've gotten ahold of your bearings, you couldn't help but feel excited for the day but dread the night.

After a few minutes, you finally got the courage to stand up and start to get ready. You began to brush through your hair and style it a bit more decently. It looked a bit unkempt after the night you just had but you managed to handle it and make it look presentable. You also decides to wear different clothing today. You changed into different coral and seashell accessories, as well as beaded loincloths. As for a top, you used one that Ronal gifted you a couple years ago but it still fit the same. It was one of your favorites and you loved wearing it.

Upon getting ready, you looked at yourself in your makeshift mirror in the wall of your tent and began to make your way out. As expected, when you walked out into the paths, the village was busy as it always was. There were people on their ilu's cruising through the water, others were just strolling on the morning sun, and warriors were seemingly getting tasks done before starting to head to their training.

Even through all of that commotion, you began to make your way through the crowd and started walking to Jake's hut. As always, the walk was short and you arrived a few seconds later. You peeked inside and saw that it was only Jake rummaging through some of his bags, and the kids were nowhere to be seen.

"Hi" You said, bringing Jake's attention from his current task over to you. When he saw you in the doorway, he smiled and dropped what he was doing and walked over to you. "Hey, Y/n" Jake said, leaning on his arm against the wall. It was a busy morning and he was looking forward to more training with you. "Where are the kids?" You asked, obviously noticing the lack of their presence and wondering where they could be now so early in the morning.

"Oh, Tsireya and Ao'nung came looking for them earlier. The kids are spending more time with them recently, so that's nice" Jake said, and you nodded, giving him a toothless smile. As much as you tried to hide it, Jake could obviously see how somber and sullen you looked, especially from the lack of light in your eyes. "Hey, are you okay? Did you sleep okay?" Jake asked with concern, crossing his arms over his chest as he let his eyes scan your face.

You froze and tensed up at his question, instantly feeling paranoid that he knew something. But he couldn't have known, right? You shook your head and looked elsewhere, avoiding eye contact. You couldn't let him see the very obvious proof on your facial expressions that you in fact did not have a good night. "Uh, yes. Yes, I did" You said, briefly looking at him, then taking your gaze away.

Jake could tell something was up, and as much as you tried to hide it, your body language differed from what you were telling him. You obviously didn't want to talk about it now so he dropped it. He wouldn't pry. "Okay," He said gently, not wanting you to feel out of place. He could tell you were anxious to start training, judging by your fidgeting, and maybe it was just to take your mind off of what was concerning you, so that was what they'd do.

"Should we head out?" You said, trying to diffuse the tension. Despite all that, Jake nodded and stepped out of his hut, leaving you to follow behind him. You two walked amongst the people of the village, and you soon caught up with him, walking side by side with him.

Today, you two would focus on riding an ilu just like you'd promised the day before. If he wanted to master a Tsurak, learning to ride an ilu was always the best way to learn the basics. While walking side by side, you began to give Jake a small briefing on where you were going and what exactly you'd be doing. He nodded at everything you were saying, not wanting to miss a single thing. He trusted you knew more about this than anyone and if this was the way to master a Skimwing, he would do it.

"Mastering an ilu helps with balance, steadiness, strength and agility. All of which are qualities you'll need when mastering a Skimwing" You explained, getting closer to the shores of the beach where you and Jake would begin your lessons. It was shallow enough to explain the basics first and then the waters got deeper the further you went in, which was perfect when practicing swimming in an open space like that. You didn't doubt that Jake would be able to do it. He already showed tremendous perseverance by attempting a Skimwing on his first day in the village.

"How long does it usually take to get the hang of riding an ilu?" Jake asked, genuinely wondering how much a Tsurak and Skimwinh differed from each other in terms of strength and endurance. They were completely different creatures from what he's seen, so he couldn't help but wonder both of their similarities.

"It depends on the person, but also the rider's ability to hold onto the creature and the connection that they build with it. An ilu will swim at the speed you command it to, but it can also sense your anxieties and nerves, so it can interpret that and go faster without meaning to" You said, knowing how fragile these creatures can be even though the bond.

"Okay, duly noted" Jake said, already feeling a bit more confident in his own abilities. He already knew that the Metkayina bond and ride with ilu's since their newborn days, and that it takes time to master. But for Jake, he'd take as long as it was needed to get the hang of it.

When he first tried to tame an Ikran, it wasn't as easy as he thought it would be, but he did it and he would do the same here. "So, when do we start?" Jake asked, turning to look you. As a reply, you looked up at him, and Jake already knew the answer. "Right now" You said.

-

Hey! As I said, I really am trying to make this story a good slow burn and that my ideas don't messily get jumbled up together. Im trying my best I swear shsj Im rewatching the movie and really trying to make this book interesting lol

anyway, I really hope you guys are enjoying the book. I know things are going a lot slowly than my other books where the timeline is different but I hope you're enjoying those extra scenes Im including just as much as I am! Also, what do you guys think of the angst Im adding to the book? Is it going along smoothly so far?

Like I've said before, I'm trying to show the development between jake and y/n's relationship gradually while also having them overcome their inner turmoil. I want to show the development well, so I promise itll be worth it in the end!

I have officially two weeks left of school, so after that, I'll have plenty of time to write! Right now, my teachers are assigning final assignments and all, but Im still trying to stay consistent. I want to start doing daily updates like I used to do. I'll up a schedule these next few weeks and i'll let you guys know.

As usual, there's not much I have to say now, but as always, I'll add other news in future chapters if there are any at all or if anything changes. Anyway, I'll see you all in the next one! 🤍 Have a good rest of your weekend everyone!

-

Bạn đang đọc truyện trên: Truyen2U.Pro