chapter five
MERCY OR MURDER
"and if i seemed dangerous, would you be scared?"

Evelynn sucked in a deep breath and yawned as her eyes flickered open.

"Finally!" A little girl's voice nearly shouted. Evelynn blinked quickly to take in her surroundings. Across from her was Charlotte looking at her with a smirk, her legs outstretched, feet connecting with Bellamy's who's legs were outstretched as well.

Evelynn realized her head was comfortably resting on Bellamy's shoulder. She also noticed his jacket over her.

"You must have been really tired," Charlotte laughed at her.

Evelynn gave her a sleepy smile and rubbed her eyes, "I hadn't slept in three days."

"Good morning, crazy," Bellamy greeted as she sat up. She elbowed him in the ribs, "Shut up, freckles,"

She handed his jacket back to him, a confused expression on her face, "When did I—?"

Charlotte spoke up, her feet moving Bellamy's feet back and forth, "You were shivering when I woke up, so I gave it to you,"

Evelynn smiled, her heart melting a bit, "Thanks, Charlotte,"

Bellamy stood up and brushed off his pants, "We should go, the fog is cleared and we're wasting daylight sitting around."

Evelynn brushed some knots out of her hair as she sighed, Bellamy's authoritative side was back. Part of her wished they could stay in the cave and just talk, then they don't have to worry about reality.

They walked out of the cave and felt the warm sunlight hit their skin, it was probably around mid-day.

Bellamy looked around and yelled, "Anybody out here?" There was a pause as he waited for a reply.

Evelynn sighed, "They're probably back at camp."

He ignored her, "Jones?"

Surprisingly, they heard a reply not too far away from them, "We're here!"

They immediately started over to find the voice. They found Jones with two other kids that were out hunting as well.

"Lost you in the stew," Bellamy called out as they approached the three, "Where'd you go?"

"We made it to a cave down there," Jones pointed down the hill they were on, "What the hell was that?" Bellamy shook his head, "I don't know,"

Evelynn walked past them a bit looking around and then turned around to face the group, "Where's Atom?"

She watched Bellamy's face drop quickly as everyone in Jones's group shrugged.

»»————-　★　————-««

Time wore on slowly as the group trudged on back to camp. Evelynn followed Charlotte who wandered off the path a little chasing after some sort of rodent.

But when she made it to where Charlotte stood, it wasn't some sort of animal or rodent they found. It was a body.

It was Atom's body.

Charlotte starting screaming on the top of her lungs. Evelynn quickly wrapped an arm around Charlotte in an attempt to calm her.

She turned to see Bellamy coming to a quick halt when he saw Atom, "Son of a bitch."

Evelynn leaned over to Charlotte running her fingers down one of her braids, "Stay here. Okay? It's okay." Charlotte nodded and Evelynn walked over to Bellamy and Atom.

She felt off balance and nauseous as she approached. Atom was covered, head to toe, with red flaming blisters that were oozing and flaring up angrily. As she got closer she saw his chest heaving unevenly and quickly, his breathing sporadic and labored. His lips lacked all color making the boils on his face and blood in his mouth that much more noticeable. His eyes were staring blankly, a white film over his pupils, he had gone blind.

She kneeled down slowly by Atom watching Bellamy's eyes flicker from her to Atom a couple times. Atom's lips twitched and Bellamy leaned in closer as he spoke, voice broken and quiet, "Kill me."

Bellamy slowly stood up as the other three hunters came to see what happened. Charlotte slowly approached Bellamy and handed him the knife he gave her, "Don't be afraid."

Evelynn shivered as she felt a chill run down her spine.

Bellamy turned the knife in his hands a couple times before speaking, "Go back to camp." Jones and the others willingly turned to go back but Charlotte and Evelynn didn't move. "You too," he pointed at the two of them.

Charlotte turned and followed the other group, but Evelynn stayed sitting by Atom's side. She spoke gently, "I'm not leaving."

He nodded, almost graciously, and bent back down. Atom's voice kept begging, "Kill me." Evelynn felt her heart squeeze in remorse. Maybe they could have prevented this. He was in the fog all night, all alone. She felt guilty.

Bellamy held the knife attempting to steady his hand. He had to kill him. Atom was past saving and was only in more pain as time wore on.

Evelynn watched him chew his bottom lip as he fought with himself in his mind. His head fell in defeat as his hand holding the knife shook violently.

In that moment she felt another shift, as if it was the puzzle piece falling into place. Bellamy let his emotions control him. His impulsive decision to shoot Jaha was to protect his sister and his instant brotherly love for Charlotte was because he cared.

He acted tough and cruel, hiding himself and putting on a facade to make people listen to him, but his choices and decisions boiled down to who he was. A man with a big heart.

He could not kill Atom.

Evelynn made a choice, one she would have to live with forever, but she was willing to pay the price. Evelynn wasn't going to let Bellamy suffer because of this.

She wasn't going to let either of them suffer.

She put her hand around Bellamy's and slipped her fingers through his and took the knife. She could feel his stare but she chose not to look at him.

She held back her tears and made her voice small, "Hi Atom, it's Evelynn." She watched his head slowly tried to turn a bit in her direction and she felt her breath hitch.

He was still in there. Atom was alive and he was there. How was she supposed to do this?

"Don't worry, you're okay."

She pushed her fingers through his soft brown hair and attempted to comfort him. With shaky breaths, she hummed a simple melody.

Still humming, she pushed the knife into the side of his neck. She quickly brought the knife out and leaned in closer to him, pulling her fingers through his hair again as she watched his breathing slow and life fade from his eyes.

The boy she sat next to for years in history class. They learned about how the stations of the Ark came together and how the world ended. They each let the other copy their notes or they would share test answers.

They were just kids. He was just a kid. And he was gone.

She slowly stood up and back away as she watched Bellamy close Atom's eyes. Evelynn suddenly felt like someone ripped into her chest and yanked out her heart.

He was still in there and now he was gone. And it was her doing.

It didn't feel like mercy. It felt like murder.

She looked down to see her knuckles turning white as she gripped the bloody knife.

His blood was on her hands.

She stumbled backwards as her eyes widened and she dropped the knife. She felt arms envelop her as her knees buckled.

"Hey, you're okay," Clarke's soothing voice calmed her she knelt down to hold her, "You did the right thing."

Evelynn attempted to calm down through her quiet sobs as Clarke held her and tried not to focus on Wells and Finn putting Atom's lifeless body on their makeshift stretcher. She wasn't sure when the three of them got there or how much they saw, but she was grateful. She needed Clarke right now.

She wasn't just the crazy girl from the Ark. She was now a murderer as well.

Clarke pulled her to her feet as they began their trek back to camp. After walking for a while, Bellamy pulled Evelynn aside.

"Hey, why'd you do that?" He asked, his voice soft again.

She looked up at him with her tear-stained face, mustering what was supposed to be a smile, "I told you I'd figure you out."

Bellamy watched her walk away in shock. She already knew him so well. And she did it for him.

Bellamy had never felt that sort of protection for him before.

That night in the cave they learned to understand each other and their feelings towards each other did a complete 180. The two somehow formed an irrefutable bond that neither could deny.

»»————-　★　————-««

Entering camp was one of the hardest things Evelynn thought she would ever have to do. Walking in and seeing the faces of people who knew Atom. People who loved Atom. And she killed Atom.

Bellamy had assured her—over and over again—that no one would find out what she did and that he wouldn't let anything happen to her, but she couldn't help but feel like everyone looked at her differently. Like they could smell her sins.

"They're back!"

As soon as they walked in, Finn and Clarke were completely focused on saving Jasper.

Bellamy and Wells laid down the stretcher with Atom's body while Evelynn stayed rooted to her spot as she scanned the group of delinquents, as if waiting for them to attack her.

Bellamy reached out to her which made her jump out of her skin, "Woah, woah, woah, hey, Evelynn. You're okay."

Bellamy got distracted and instantly left her side jumped forward when Octavia came running past Clarke to Bellamy. And Atom. Evelynn stumbled back a few steps and watched the scene unfold.

"Octavia, just stay there. Please, stay back." Bellamy was pleading with her, but she ignored him and pushed through him to get the stretcher.

Octavia lightly pulled the jacket off of the body and felt her heart drop as she saw his face. "Atom."

Bellamy started towards her in an attempt to comfort her, "There was nothing I could do."

Octavia held her hand out, her lip quivering, "Don't."

She licked her lips and shook her head in defeat. She gingerly placed Atom's jacket back over his face and stormed off, tears pouring as she kept her head down.

Bellamy walked to Murphy, his voice not as aggressive as usual, but he was trying to regain his composure, "Lose anyone here?"

Murphy shook his head, "No,"

Bellamy continued, eyes flickering to Evelynn, "Jasper?"

Murphy rolled his eyes, "No, still breathing. Barely. I tried to take him out but your psycho little sister—"

Bellamy snapped, his voice rough and booming as he pushed Murphy, holding the front of his shirt, "My what? My what?"

Murphy shoved him off, "Your little sister."

Bellamy nodded, still in his face, "Yeah, that's right. My little sister. Got anything else you want to say about her?"

Murphy didn't break the eye contact, "Nothing. Sorry."

Bellamy stepped back, still watching Murphy, speaking now to Wells and a couple other boys, "Get Atom out of here."

Wells leaned to Bellamy, "I'll go get this grave dug,"

Evelynn stepped forward, anxious to do something other that standing around and feeling bad for herself, "I'll help."

He quickly turned around to face her, his expression soft, "It's okay, I've got this." He noticed she wasn't giving it up and sighed, "You should rest."

Evelynn backed up from him, as if she was scared of his pity, backing into someone else. She turned to see Bellamy again staring at her with concern flooding his features.

He didn't have to say anything, his face told her exactly what he was thinking. She brushed him off, "I'm fine. I'll go help Jasper."

And with that Bellamy watched her walk away.

»»————-　★　————-««

Monty, Octavia, Finn and Evelynn all sat around in the dropship near Jasper after Clarke left.

The room was tense as they passed around a bottle of moonshine and talked about Atom. Or more like Octavia talked about Atom.

"I know he killed him." She spoke with venom to the group.

Finn knitted his brows together, "Octavia, Atom died in the acid fog."

She shook her head, taking a swig of the drink, "No, I saw the body. He may have gotten hurt by the fog, but he was stabbed in the neck."

Nobody spoke, but Evelynn felt Finn's hand on her back in comfort.

Octavia's drunken voice rung out again, "My brother hated Atom. I bet he couldn't wait to stab him in the throat and watch him bleed. I bet—"

"Octavia!" Evelynn shouted out, sick of hearing her accuse her brother of something he didn't do, "Bellamy didn't kill Atom. I did."

Octavia looked at her incredulously, "What?"

Evelynn closed her eyes, wishing she could disappear from the conversation, but it wouldn't work, so she chose to keep her eyes shut as she spoke, "He was in so much pain. There was nothing we could do to help him except—" Her voice trailed off but Octavia finished it, "—kill him."

Octavia grimaced and handed the bottle to Finn who lifted it a bit, "I think we all deserve a drink today."

He was about to pass it around when a tired voice sounded, "Could I get a hit of that?"

Everyone was on their feet in seconds, Monty running towards his best friend, "Jasper!"

Finn laughed a bit, picking up a water bottle, "Let's start with the soft stuff."

Everyone gathered around and watched Jasper.

"Welcome back buddy." Monty grabbed Jasper's hand while Jasper just smiled at everyone.

"Was that a dream or did I get speared?"

Before anyone could answer, Clarke was making her way over to them, "You'll have a very impressive scar to prove it."

Jasper smiled at her, "My savior." She smiled back at him.

Jasper scanned the room and found the green eyes he was looking for, "Hey Lynnie, miss me?"

Evelynn rolled her eyes playfully, but she was actually holding back tears. "Thank you for not dying. I don't think I could've taken that today." She said honestly to which he smiled.

"I'll try not to die tomorrow too, if that's cool."

She smiled at him and pushed some of his hair off his forehead, "I did miss you, Jasp."

He grinned, "Aww, Lynnie's gone soft." She slapped his arm gently but she couldn't help but smile even more.

They all held each other close as they watched Jasper fall back to sleep, this time with a peaceful smile on his face.