Prequel short story part 8 : Gregorio and Esmeralda

"What is it for?"

"It's a charity event held by the company I danced with last year," I told Dathan as he stood at my bedroom window with a hard expression, as if whatever he was staring out at was what displeased him. But I knew what brought him displeasure was my request to attend a banquet I was invited to. I wanted to help raise money for the company and maybe see some of my fellow dancers. Including. . .

No! I pushed the thought from my head, something I was getting used to doing around the King. It was no longer necessary since his daughters by another woman stole his gift of mind reading, but he knew me well enough to read my body language and expression. I became focused on a soft gurgling sound that rose from an ebony crib which soon turned into a light cry of distress. Poor little Thexus had woken from his nap. I padded over the circular rug in the center of my room toward him.

"Let me get him," Dathan insisted, to my surprise. I slowed and watched him reach his arms down to gently scoop our child out of his crib. With soft hands I didn't recognize anymore, he cradled the infant's head. Thexus hummed in happiness at his father's touch. Suddenly hyper after his nap, he flailed his little fists around until Dathan offered him a finger to occupy his interest.

"How much time would it waste?" He asked in a harsh tone that contrasted his affection toward the baby. "One rehearsal diner and one night of attendance. I could bring Thexus so you wouldn't have to worry about getting anyone to watch him."

"I could watch him," he said, his sharp eyes finding my shocked frown. I parted my lips but the only sound in the room was Thexus' happy noises while he played with and sucked on his father's finger.

"I would appreciate that. But I'll bring him to the rehearsal at least so my peers could meet him, their new prince." My body stiffened in anticipation of his reply. I hoped that his kindness toward our son would somehow appeal to his permitting me to venture out and have a night to myself.

He nodded and I could breath again. "Two nights and two nights only. And I'll watch the baby for one of them." He smiled faintly when Thexus gnawed on the tip of his finger, nearly compelling me to smile as well. This moment was short lived.

His expression returned to a blank and hateful stare as he looked at me. He placed Thexus in my arms but mid transfer stopped with his eyes on mine. "Stay away from the Italian," he commanded, "don't think I won't see through you. You're cunning, Esmerelda, but you don't hide your emotions well. If you dare indulge him, I'll know."

He let Thexus free into my arms and I held my child close as he left me.

"Remember that you belong to me," he said upon departure.

A sickening feeling was left in my stomach.

* * * * * * * *

"He's so sweet," my former director cooed along with the group of women that surrounded us. I smiled down at little bit Thexus as he recoiled from the overwhelming amount of attention, looking around with curious eyes as he clung to me. "He's getting shy," I said, turning his little body around so his head rested over my shoulder. Even so, he tried lifting his head to turn and look back at the women, inevitably drooping back down on account of his still-weak neck. He's a ladies man, I could tell. And a mama's boy through and through.

"I love his dark little eyes and hair. He reminds me of Snow White somehow." The women in the circle seemed to agree.

Slam.

The door flung open.

I smirked faintly. Classic Gregorio, late as ever and making a dramatic entrance.

All of the women's admiring gazes immediately fell on his silhouette as he descended the stairs of the lobby. "I apologize for being late." That damned accent, it already had the group swooning. I hadn't turned yet but I heard the smile in his voice, no doubt magnificently beautiful.

"You're all a sight for sore eyes," he said, getting closer. The women all greeted him heartily and rushed past me to crowd him now.

Slowly, I turned to meet his gaze that was already on me. He looked never more delighted than to see me again after the past year. I saw his eyes go to my arms where my son had occupied himself with slobbering on the shoulder of my sweater. He pushed his way politely through the women to meet me a few feet away. A wave of familiar chills came upon looking closer at him. "What's their name?" He asked gently.

"Thexus," I answered, shifting the baby in my arms. "He's a boy."

A cautious step forward and outstretched arms requested to hold my son. I obliged. Carefully, I placed Thexus in his capable arms and guided his hand to hold up his weak head. The sensation of his skin gave me the warm feeling I could never be desensitized to.

"He's. . . So beautiful. He looks just like you." He looked down at my child like he was looking at his own for the first time. When his eyes returned to me, they were starting to tear. A wide smile told me they were tears of joy. He laughed and I felt a twisting in my stomach.

I felt like this was a scene from a life I could have had. A life where Gregorio was the loving father of my child and I his happy wife. It was cruel to have such an innocent fantasy.

My face must have shown my pain because he shifted Thexus into one arm and embraced me with the other.

I should have rejected him, but I couldn't find it in myself, not when his warmth felt so nostalgic and comforting. Tears started in my own eyes and I wrapped my arms around his neck helplessly. All the time I spent trying to convince myself I wasn't in love with him was for naught. I was undoubtedly and blissfully in love with him.

"I missed you," he whispered to me with the same desperation I felt.

"Don't say things like that," I protested, "it makes me lose my self control." That was the first time I really spoke my feelings. It felt so good.

"So lose it." He pulled away when Thexus started to complain and reach out for me. I held him again and looked at Gregorio with apologetic eyes, he only smiled in return.

By this time the women had busied themselves with chatter but I saw through their faux isolated attention to the nosy glances they gave us on occasion. We couldn't do this here. "Unfortunately," I spoke loud enough for their burning ears to hear, "Thexus won't be joining us tomorrow night. He'll be in the care of my dear husband."

The pretense of fondness had a hollow ring in my throat but I got my point across. Gregorio slumped and a frown etched into his beautiful lips as he nodded. The women scattered with the director assigning them their tasks.

* * * * * * * *

"This is the best night of my life," I shrieked with a smirk of joy. I was intoxicated and Gregorio and I were stumbling all over each other.

It is always at these times when mistakes are made, right?

I was too cocky for life. I held my award I'd won for best female lead of the season, and Gregorio held his for best male. I was elated to be with him and all my friends. And in my state of drunkenness I'd forgotten the hell I lived in.

Gregorio, also quite drunk, had offered to take me home. We were stumbling out of a taxi and up the steps of the palace. Our laughs and whispers echoes down the empty halls on our way to my bedroom. I have no doubt he was watching the whole time, sitting up in his chamber brooding as he angrily made a white knuckled fist.

Why he hadn't just interrupted initially and killed us there, I don't know. But he let us enjoy ourselves hours too long.

I loved Gregorio, but I loved him even more after our intimacies.

I think that's why. He wanted to wait until I absolutely couldn't live with out him . . .

so that it would hurt more when he forced me to.

It was midnight and neither of us could sleep. We lay awake, embracing each other, and talking. We'd been talking for what felt like years and in that time our souls slowly stitched themselves together.

"Haven't you missed dancing, love? How could you stay away so long?" My love asked me, his lips pressed against my temple.

"Oh, I've danced. My hus- Dathan gave me a studio. He said 'you now have no excuse to be depressed.' Which . . . is right I suppose. I married rich, I don't have to work a day of my life, I have a healthy child. I live in a castle for gods' sake." I hated that my life was virtually perfect, because I knew it was what everyone saw. They all saw me as a cheating whore, ungrateful of her "benevolent" husband and wandering with her legs open. I knew that's how Dathan saw it.

They were all delusional.

None of them saw the things that were really wrong with this place, with Dathan.

He wasn't always like that.

Gregorio's gentle hand interrupted my thoughts, sliding over my eyes. "Please don't look like that, my love. It breaks my heart." I'd never admitted it, but I'm sure he knew. Gregorio could see my broken heart. He could see I wasn't so materialistic to marry for money, and that it would have to be for love. He knew that I'd been in such love with Dathan, that being treated so by him now broke my heart. Seeing him spiral into madness is what truly caused my depression.

I'm sure it was hard to know that I loved another man so much, and might even still feel that.

My love for Dathan, wether it still existed or not, did not change my love for Gregorio.

"I'd like to see. The studio. If you don't mind." Gregorio's request somewhat surprised me.

How could I tell him no and that he should go home. After our time together, it didn't feel right to part now . . . or ever again.

He got his way and I took him to see my studio. It was too big for just one person and immaculately clean. There were white walls all around and a wall of mirrors. The windows were filled with stars and the moon cast a shadow of bars from the window pain. Foreshadowing to what would become our prison.

With no music, Gregorio and held each other and danced conservatively. We were both still tipsy and not so light on our feet, but we are great dancers so we pushed through. Despite stumbling a bit, neither of us took our eyes off one another to look at the floor. So we didn't notice when my husband slipped in to catch us red handed in each others arms.

There was nothing anyone could do to escape this. No matter how I tried, I could not stop myself from loving Gregorio, and he I. Dathan's anger was always a force to be reckoned with, and there was nothing anyone could so to stop him once his aggression was focused on one goal.

Dathan wanted the man I love dead.

And so he was.

I looked in horror as he simply fell from my arms and onto the floor. Dark bruises quickly formed around his neck and his body convulsed in a seizure. Just like that, he'd taken his last breath, looking at me. I always wonder what he would have said if he was able to speak upon his death.

Would he call my name? Would he speak his love for me? Would he cry for help?

Would he beg for mercy?

Dathan approach me, my face spilling with tears. My blurry eyes looked to his hateful face and I threw my hands at him wildly. I hit him over and over but he reacted very little. "I HATE YOU!!" I screamed, tearing my vocal chords. "Why can't I love someone without you killing them?!"

"Did I not give you a child!? Was I not generous in allowing you this night of indulgence?! And you squander it!!" Dathan was fuming, fulling clothed and looking like he'd been letting his anger brew this whole time. He shoved me backwards, not as hard as he could but enough to make me stumble back. I was still tipsy, keep in mind, so it was a miracle I was able to keep myself from falling. I was so shocked by the gentle shove that I got even angrier.

"Fuck you and your generosity!! Don't act like I owe you a quiet smile. You just killed the man I love!" I wanted the power to crush his skull between my fingers. I only prayed that one day my Thexus would take that power from him.

"His death is on your hands. How dare you bring him here and lay with him under my roof, in MY castle! You disgust me."

My body physically shook with anger. He had the AUDACITY to say that I was the disgusting one for straying. When he had FOUR other wives who all lived in this gods forsaken hell hole. I wanted to kill him or I wanted him to kill me. Either way I would be rid of him indefinitely. And I knew that only one of those things was possible.

Luckily, that wad the wish that came true.

"I don't need this from you. You live with your whores and breed them like mammals. You're angry at me? I can barely stand to look at you. I'd rather have been raped by your brother than to make love with you EVER in ANY circumstance." I think if I hadn't said that, I would have gone on living. I wouldn't have lived the longest, just longer.
But I didn't want to.

Dathan, in a true crime of passion, wrapped his fingers around my arm and reeled me back. There was a brief second I had time to gasp and held my breath, to inhale for the last time. He hurled me at the wall of mirrors. My shoulder popped loudly, being dislocated as he jerked me in one direction too quickly. My vision blacked out but I remember the god awful crashing sound. The air was knocked out my lungs and never returned.

I became conscious again in the dark coldness of what I thought was the afterlife. I walked forward on nothing toward a voice. A cry for help. The cry became a scream. The scream became a deafening shriek. I ran toward it, my feet aching. Then there was another voice, in a different direction. It sounded closer. I ran toward it, my calves burning now. Another voice, my feet answered, running toward it. I ran for hours, the screams multiplying until all I heard was screaming all around me in the dark, and I could do nothing for them. I ran in circles, trying to find at least one. My whole body ached from exhaustion and begged me to rest. I couldn't, I had to keep moving. I had to find at least one of them.

Days of this continued, my ears bled from all the screaming and my feet from the running. And then, it just stopped. I thought I'd gone deaf, but then I saw a light.

It was daytime and I was still in the studio. Gregorio was there.

We embraced.

My feet were numb, the pain soothed by his smile. We say nothing and take each other's hands. To no music, we dance around the room, so in love and so relieved to be touching one another again.

The rest of our existence is just that.

Torture and love.