Emery Begins.

chapter twenty five , Oh, Shit

a/n : If you've watched Station 19, you'll recognize the call of this episode is from 1x09, Hot Box.

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Present

"I keep going over it in my head."

Everyone was sitting right back on the garage floor. "No crawl space, no vents to outside, no cracks in the door or the walls, no tools can get through that door, but there's got to be something, right?" Wren huffs, her eyes on Bobby. "To get us out, there's got to be—"

"No, there doesn't." Emery speaks, her eyes on her sweaty shaking hands. "Sorry, Wren, but there's not always a happy ending, there's not always a way out."

"That's the heat talking, and the exhaustion. We're not giving up." Wren says, shifting her eyes to Emery.

Emery dryly chuckles, "I'm not saying I'm giving up. I'm thinking practically."

"So am I—"

"So am I."

"Will the two of you just shut up." Buck exhales. "God, for two minutes?"

Emery looks over at Buck.

"I swear, this is a sign."

"What is?"

Buck frowns and shakes his head. "Nothing—never mind."

"What is he talking about?" Wren asks, tired.

Emery rolls her eyes and shrugs, "I don't know. It's Buck. He's always weird."

"It's a sign that all this is happening now when Emery was the one giving orders."

"Buck..." Bobby voices, already exhausted by the upcoming argument.

Emery shakes her head, "So, what—what are you saying, that if you were giving orders we wouldn't be in this mess?" An entertained smile that had a hint of deviousness to it spreads across her lips.

"Is this the heat talking, or do you really feel that way?"

Buck arches a brow, "Never mind. Forget I said anything."

Emery rolls her eyes, "Yeah, whatever Buck, be a coward like always."

"A coward?" Buck chuckles. "Isn't a coward someone who loses contact with every single one of their loved ones to avoid confrontation?"

"Fuck off..." Emery covers her eyes. She lays on the floor. "Fuck you, Buck. You don't get it..."

"Right, nobody gets it." Buck shakes his head. "Nobody gets how broken you are—"

"I am not..." Emery covers her eyes and an image of her late wife flashes through her mind. "I'm not broken." Her voice was weak. She sniffles and bunches her shoulders. Emery pulls her hands off her eyes and her lower lip quivers. She keeps her eyes on the fluorescent lights and swipes her tongue across her lower lip. "I'll show you..."

Emery rolls onto her stomach and gets in her hands and knees. She weakly crawls over to Wren. "Wren—Wren..." Emery gently grabs the brunette's wrist.

Wren weakly turns her head to Emery. The curly-haired girl inhales a breath, her hair sticking to her skin. "What was our one rule...you, me, and Helena's?"

Wren keeps her shaky eyes on Emery's. A lump forms in Wren's throat and she exhales a shaky breath. She sees that both of them were still in mourning over Helena. And now they were both going to use that pain for something better. They were going to save themselves and everyone else.

"Embrace the pain." Wren whimpers, locking her hand around Emery's forearm. Emery nods her head, "We can do this—you and me."

Wren slowly nods her head. Emery inhales a breath, "The only thing that can get through that door is the thing trapping us in here—fire."

Wren raises her brows, "We need an explosive."

Emery and Wren look around the garage. The curly-haired girl's eyes land on the tank. "Wait. The water heater. It—it has a pilot light."

Wren slowly nods her head, "Pilot lights ignite things, cause explosions."

"Explosions turn anything into a high-velocity projectile." Emery says.

Wren shrugs, "It's worth a shot."

"Our only shot." Emery voices. "We just need something for the pilot light to ignite."

"An accelerant."

"Or gasoline..."

Emery looks at Buck.

"From the car." Buck says.

"We can I strap the water heater from the wall." Bobby says. "Lay it on its side."

"We can use the pilot light to start the fuse and hope the explosion is strong enough to launch the water heater through this door to make an opening."

"That's insane." Athena speaks.

"There are no sane options." Emery says. "Our choices are crazy or death."

"I choose crazy."

"My idea was crazy too, y'know?" Buck speaks. "Just sayin'."

"Yeah, but ours is crazy with a side of intelligence." Wren quips.

"Well, if we're gonna do it, we should do it now." Bobby says. "Before we're too weak to even move."

The three firefighters force themselves up. Emery grabs her axe and cuts the water heater from off the wall. Bobby and Buck lay it in the side. Wren and Athena siphon the gas from the car with a hose.

The three firefighters gently lay the water heater in its side. After putting the gas into a spray bottle, Wren stuffs a rag into the top. She walks over to Emery.

"Never thought a bomb might save my life."

Bobby grabs the gas and lights it. Emery pulls her turnout gear back on, along with her hat. "Han, clear the door." She speaks into the walkie.

"Copy that. Pulling back."

"Okay, once I light the fuse, you have about 30 seconds—maybe a minute before it goes off." Bobby voices. Everyone stands in the corner, behind the car.

"Everyone ready?"

"We're good!"

Bobby lights the rag connecting to the gas. Emery's eyes spot the valve on the water heater, beginning to shake. Her breathing hitches. "The release valve..."

Buck looks over at the girl.

"It must've come loose when we tipped the heater over." Emery pulls her brows together. She slowly starts to stand up, but Buck grabs her hand. "No." He says, already knowing what she was trying to do.

"It'll go flying. It could kill any one of us." Emery connects her eyes with Buck's. "Okay. I can get to it."

"Emerson—"

"I can get to it." Her tone was more firm. "It's okay, I've got it—"

"Emery, Emery—"

She stands up and runs over to the water heater.

Bobby's eyes widen from the figure running past him. "Sharpe, what the hell are you doing?!"

"Emerson!" Wren shouts.

Emery was fueling on the emotion of recklessness right now. She knew that it wasn't a smart idea, especially in this kind of job. But right now, she didn't care.

Emery gets to the water heater and reaches for the valve. Then a boom rips through her ears. A ball of fire hits her chest and sends her into the wall. Emery slams into the wall and falls the ground with a thud. Her ears begin to ring and her entire body vibrates. She inhales a deep gasp, trying to catch her breath.

Buck's eyes widen from the girl stirring in the ground. "Emerson!—Emery!" He sprints over to her and falls to his knees.

Chimney and the rest of the team enters the garage from the opening. Buck cups Emery's sweat filled face. "Are you okay?" He helps the girl up.

Emery slowly stands up with her eyes in Buck.

"Why the hell would you do that?"

Emery pulls her brows together and shifts her eyes to Buck's lips. All she heard was ringing.

"Huh?"

Buck continues to speak to her and she looks around. The boy looks over at Hen and Chimney, "Hey, Hen, Chim!"

Emery slowly shakes her head. "Th-the valve was...it was loose. I thought—I thought I could get to it in time. I wasn't fast enough..." her hearing begins to clear and she pulls her brows together. "I...I wasn't fast enough..."

"You're alive, all right?" Buck cups her face and searches her eyes. "That's what matters."

Emery meets Buck's eyes and slowly nods her head. "Right, yeah..."

"All right, Em." Bobby gently touches her shoulder. Emery looks at her Captain.

"Hen and Chim are gonna check you out, make sure you're okay."

"Captain, I'm fi—"

"I'll let them be the judge of that." Bobby says.

Emery exhales through her nose, but she nods her head.

"Miss Sharpe!"

Emery turns her head to the brunette boy and her eyes widen. "What...the hell?" She seethes. "0302–the code was—"

"Miss Sharpe, I am so sorry—"

"You screwed up today, Probie." Emery snaps. "You fucked up!" She seethes. "Some rookie, you are."

Buck pulls the girl away from Fletcher. "She's just exhausted. She doesn't mean it."

Even though that was probably true, Fletcher let those words hit him. Because it was his fault and he was a shitty rookie.

☆

Once they all got back to the station, they all hit the showers. And of course, after her shower, Emery decided to make herself sweat again by working out. Even though her body still felt weak, she needed to keep her mind on something that wasn't her dead wife. But, everyone noticed that something was bothering her. And they figured only one person could get it out of her.

Emery's gloved fist slams against the sand filled punching bag. Small breaths escape her lips as her punches become more violent. Footsteps are heard approaching her, but she chooses to ignore them.

"You were reckless today."

Emery inhales a deep breath. She keeps her eyes on the punching bag. "I know..."

"You could've been killed."

Emery's right eye twitches. "I know." She slams her fist against the bag.

"Who I saw out there today. That wasn't you, Emerson. That's not the girl I want to be Lieutenant—"

"I know that, Captain!" Emery stands up, her voice sharp. She inhales a small breath. A crack starts in her shield and frustration rises in her. Shit. Everything she built was falling. The image she built of herself—that mirage was beginning to fade.

"You wanna tell me what's been going on with you?"

Emery closes her eyes and tries to control her breathing.. "Not really."

"Emerson—"

"Look, Captain." Emery turns to him. "I appreciate you worrying about me. But I'm good, just a little distracted. Don't worry, it won't happen again." She goes back to hitting the punching bag.

"You know, I've noticed something about you..."

Emery softly sighs and holds the bag in place. "What's that, Cap?"

"Once every year on a specific day, you seem to work exceptionally harder than you normally do." Bobby says. Emery swipes her tongue across her lower lip and shakes her head.

"You don't have time to rest or think. Almost like you're running from something." Bobby says.

Emery sniffles and goes back to punching the bag. Bobby tilts his head, "Emerson."

She stops once again. Emery reluctantly looks over at the man with wary eyes. Bobby stares deep into her eyes before speaking. "Is today the anniversary for someone?"

And just like that those strong distant eyes became tired and sad. "M-My..." Emery felt out of breath. She looks to the side and inhales a soft breath. If Bobby was going to hear the truth, everyone else should too. Emery inhales a breath and looks at Bobby.

"Everyone upstairs. Family meeting." She rips the gloves off her hands and tosses them to the ground. Emery brushes past him and Bobby raises his brows.

That was the first time Emery ever referred to them as her family. It made her feel warm.

Bobby called everyone upstairs and they all sat at the table while Emery was on her feet. She was tapping each of her fingers against her thumb, trying to relax her nerves before speaking.

"Okay, you all did great today—I mean it. All of you."

Buck slumps in his seat, suppressing his scoff.

"And how I acted today—What I said, it wasn't about you guys." Emery inhales a small breath. "It was about me and my issues."

Emery looks at the Probie. "Tom...I have made so many mistakes as a Probie—I'm still making my mistakes."

"None of you deserved how I treated you today." Her eyes meet Buck's. "None of you."

The softness and guilt in her eyes made Buck's face grow hot.

"Some of you already know this but..." Emery closes her eyes and her hands start to shake. Her heart felt like it was going to beat right out of her chest. All these years she tried to keep her out of her mind.

"I had a wife." Emery exhales. "Her name i-was Helena Garcia."

Hen tenses and she looks at Chimney, who looks at her. This was the first time Emery was talking about Helena. She never wanted to relive her life with Helena, whether it was good or not. Even reliving the warm moments hurt Emery.

Emery's eyes were trained on the ground as she talked. With every word Emery said, Buck's guilt sunk him deeper and deeper into his seat. This entire time, Buck had talked about how Emery was cold and broken. He thought that Emery was just a girl that judged others because her life was so easy. But that wasn't the case.

Nobody said anything as she explained.

"She...I lost her a few years ago." Emery moves her head from side to side. "Today marks the third year—actually."

"Oh, Em..." Hen starts, her face dropping.

Emery wipes her nose, "It's f-fine." She closes her eyes. "Does anyone have anything to say about...this deep truth being revealed." A small laugh escapes her lips, but it just ends up sounding like she was in pain.

"Uh, you never told anyone..." Buck says.

Emery gnaws on her lower lip. "I mean, Chimney, Hen, and Athena know. But that's only because they were there for it." She looks at her hands. "And I told Eddie when he first came to the station. I was drunk."

Eddie holds up a pointer finger. "She wasn't drunk on the job, by the way, we were at the bar."

Emery then points at Eddie, seconding his statement. "Yes, that is very important to the story. We were not drinking on the job."

"We kind of got that already, Em." Chimney presses his lips into a small smile. Emery slowly nods her head.

She then rolls her lips into her mouth. "I didn't tell everyone because I just...didn't want you guys to look at me differently. Like I was weak." Emery bunches her shoulders. "And that makes no sense because you all have shared your stories and I think you guys are the strongest people I have ever known."

"So, why can't I..." she trails off her question, but they knew what she was going to ask.

"Why can't I think that about myself?"

Bobby stands up and walks over to Emery. "We all set ourselves to higher expectations." He sighs. "It's no surprise that you would do the same thing."

"I'm sorry, I didn't tell you guys sooner." Emery looks at her Captain. "I have a problem with sharing my personal life."

"And you have a problem with having fun." Buck voices. "Just wanted to let that be known."

Emery nods her head, "Okay, yeah, I can agree with that—"

"A-And you have a problem with not criticizing people every chance you get." Tom voices. "Respectfully, Ma'am."

Emery's right eye twitches, "Yeah, okay—I get it. I have some problems. But I'm...wanting to work through them." She gives them a half smile. "I'm going to work on them."

Eddie lets out a sigh, he slaps his hands against his knees, and stands up. "Ah, I'm proud of you, Emerson."

Emery raises her brows, "What?"

Eddie wraps an arm around her shoulders and shakes her. "Yeah, being able to open up like this is only something a strong person could do."

One by one, each member of the 118 makes their way over to Emery. The girl wipes at her eyes and sniffles. "I'm sorry for not being a good leader today, guys." She looks at Bobby. "I'm sorry, I let you down, Cap."

Bobby gives Emery a heartfelt smile. "A leader always knows when to admit they were wrong."

Emery raises her brows, "So, you're saying I still have a shot at becoming Lieutenant?"

Bobby chuckles, "I'm saying with time...you'll be a great leader."

Emery presses her lips into a small smile.

"Awww—group hug!" Chimney holds his arms out.

Emery's face drops, "Oh, actually—"

"Nope, too late, you called us family." Bobby motions his hands for everyone to join the hug.

"What, no I didn't—"

"You called us your family?" Hen's face brightens.

Emery's face gets hot with embarrassment. "N-No..."

"Awww, we're her family!" Eddie gushes.

The whole group wraps their arms around the girl. Emery softly groans as if she was uncomfortable. But she was left with a smile ghosting her lips and a warm feeling in her chest.

☆

2010

Emery felt like she was going to shit her pants. She was pacing back and forth on the grass, her black converse sinking into the grass. Emery nervously twists her rings and she inhales a shaky breath. "It's okay, this is going to be easy."

A whistle is heard behind her. Emery stops in her tracks and snaps her eyes over to the girl in a maroon long silk dress with a slit down her thigh. Emery swipes her tongue across her lower lip. "H-Helena, hi."

Helen makes her way up the hill. Her brows were pulled together and her smile was soft. "Hey, Em. You look..." she inhales a shaky breath.

Emery was wearing a black tuxedo with an uneven tie. Helena stands in front of her girlfriend. "Wren told me that there was an emergency and I had to wear a dress." She straightens Emery's tie. "So, you wanna tell me what this emergency is?"

Emery swallows and clears her throat. "Uh, well, it's an emergency but not that kind of emergency." She moves her head side to side. Helena tilts her head.

"I...we've been together for 3 years, 7 months, and 10 days."

Helena rolls her lips into her mouth, trying to contain her excitement. She was happy to know that Emery also knew how long they were dating for.

"I'm glad that we're not keeping track."

Emery chuckles and looks down at the ground. She looks back at Helena and takes her hands. "Helena Garcia, since the first day I laid eyes on you; I felt this intense gut feeling that made me want to hurl."

Helena purses her lips and Emery's eyes widen. "A good hurl!"

Helena bites the inside of her cheek and smiles. "Ever since the day that I met you—even before that; my life has been nothing but..."

Helena searches her eyes. "Sunshine and rainbows?"

Emery tilts her head back and laughs. "I mean, yeah. Sunshine and rainbows."

Helena giggles, and looks down at each of the rings in Emery's fingers. Emery lifts Helena's and closes her eyes. "I-I want to continue feeling sunshine and rainbows with you, Helena."

Helena smiles, "Em, I don't really understand what's—"

Then she falls to one knee. Helena's eyes blow wide and her mouth hangs open. "Emerson—"

"I know we're only 18. And I also know that my parents don't approve of us together. But I don't care about them. I care about you—us." She slips a hand into her pocket and pulls out black velvet box. "And I don't want to continue being without you for another second. So..." she opens the box revealing the ring.

"Helena Mari Garcia, will you—"

"Yes!" Helena slaps her hand over her mouth. "Oh my god—I interrupted. Keep going." Tears fill her eyes.

"Wait, you said yes?" Emery pulls her brows together. "She said yes—you said yes?" Her face lights up.

"Yes, but finish the question."

"Oh! Okay. Uh, Helena Mari Garcia, will you marry me?"

"Yes, yes I'll Marry you!"

Emery grabs the ring with her shaky hands and slips it onto Helena's finger. Helena pulls Emery into her feet.

"Oh my gosh—I'm gonna marry you." Emery's eyes were teary and her smile was big.

"And I'm gonna marry you!" Helena wraps her arms around Emery's neck.

"She said yes!"

"She said yes?!" Wren runs out from behind the tree with Amaya. They both run up the hill screaming.

"I'm gonna be a maid of honor!" Wren holds up the bottle of champagne.

"Wren, where did you get that?" Helena looks at the bottle.

"I told you sparkling cider." Emery then motions to her 10 year old sister.

Wren winces, "Well, I'm sure she can drink her saliva."

Amaya's eyes widen, "What?!"

"I'm kidding, kid. Have a caprisun." Wren holds the juice out to the youngest Sharpe sister. Amaya glares at Wren for a moment, but she grabs the Caprisun.

"We're planning a wedding..." Wren whispers. She looks at the engaged couple. Emery and Helena look at her then look at each other. "We're planning a wedding!"

The four girls all scream and get into a group hug.

Present

The knock was calm, but determined. You could tell that in the steady 3 knocks every 30 seconds. All Tom was waiting for was a "Penny." After each set of knocks.

Tom pulls open the door, revealing the curly-haired girl. Tom raises his brows, "Uh, Miss Sharpe. What are you doing here?"

Emery holds her arms up, "Well, you showed up at my house to thank me for showing you a teapot song—even though I definitely should've been the only one thanking someone that day."

"That's debatable." Tom chuckles.

"So, now here I am, showing up on your doorstep to tell you how fucking sorry I am—"

"Can we keep the swearing to a minimum?" Tom nervously laughs.

Emery covers her mouth. "Yeah, okay. My bad." She chuckles. "But, I am sorry for how I treated you during that call." She meets his eyes. "There have been so many times in the past when my nerves got the better of me and I made a mistake."

"I find that hard to believe."

"Well, believe it. Because it's happened." Emery laughs. Her eyes trail behind Tom and she pulls her brows together. "Uh...there's a mini you jumping on the couch."

Tom's eyes snap behind him and looks at the toddler jumping on the couch. "Oh, shit—I mean, crap. Dylan!" He runs toward the young giggling boy and picks him up. "That's dangerous." Tom speaks in a baby voice. "You sneaky little bug."

Dylan begins to laugh even more than before. A smile forms in Emery's lips. Tom meets Emery's smiling expression and his face heats up. "Uh..."

"Tommy Fletcher..."

"My name isn't short for Tommy—"

"Thomas Fletcher." Emery gushes. "You have a kid? And he is the cutest thing ever!" Her hands find her knees. She snaps her eyes over to Tom. "Can I come in?"

Tom raises his brows, "O-Of course."

Emery steps into the house and closes the door. She neatly places her bag on the rack. She stands close to Tom and looks at the toddler. "Hi, I'm Emerson, Emery, or Em. Whichever you prefer."

"He'll probably prefer the shortest one." Tom voices.

Emery nods her head, "Okay, then, I'm Em."

The toddler waves at the girl, "Hi, Em!"

Emery places her hands on her cheeks and giggles. "He's so cute!" She looks at Tom and pulls her brows together. "Dude, you're face is so red!"

Tom's jaw goes slack and he raises his brows. "O-Oh, I'm sorry. It's just kind of hot in here—that's all."

Emery chuckles and looks back at Dylan. After Tom put Dylan down for a nap, he came back into the living to see Emery sitting on the couch.

"You never said anything about a kid." Emery raises her brows.

"You never said anything about a wife." Tom reciprocates her expression.

Emery arches a brow and chuckles. "Touché." She rubs her hands on her knees. Tom sits next to her with a grunt and the girl snorts. She covers her mouth and giggles.

"What?"

Emery shakes her head, "Why are you grunting like you're an old man?"

Tom points down the hall, "Do you know how long I've been chasing that kid around to tire him out?"

Emery looks down at her hands and laughs. Tom notices her laugh quickly die down and he raises his brows. "You didn't have to come here, you know that?"

"No, I did." Emery bites the inside of her cheek and turns to look at Tom. "Because I could tell that you still felt guilty about that garage door."

"Because it was my fault." Tom shrugs.

"But you have to know that mistakes like that happen—"

"I almost got everyone killed." Tom says. "I almost got you killed."

Emery tilts her head, "Almost being killed is kind of in the job description." A smile twitches onto her lips. "And mistakes like that are something that will happen. Whether if it's from an outside party or from one of our own—it'll happen."

Tom slowly nods his head, "Yeah, well, I don't like it."

"You don't have to like it." Emery chuckles. "I don't like it either."

"Then how do you accept it?" Tom asks.

Emery shrugs, "By doing my job the best I can."

"By saving lives." Emery then smiles. "That's how I move forward with it. And you will too."

☆

As soon as Emery came face to face with Buck at her doorstep, she facepalmed. "I forgot we were meeting up today."

Buck pulls his brows together. What was she talking about? "What?"

Emery takes her hand from her face and looks at him with a crease between her brows. "Our schedule...?"

Buck then raises his brows, "Oh. I honestly forgot about that too." He chuckles. "But, I'm not here to have sex."

Emery purses her lips and she steps aside, allowing Buck to walk in. "Okay, then why are you here?"

"To talk about the weather."

Emery chuckles and closes the door. "There have already been so many apologies today." She shakes her head, remembering their inside joke. "We don't have to—"

"I know, which is why I wanted to ask you about the weather." Buck walks into the living room and sits on the couch. Emery leans her back against the door and a small breath escapes her lips. Then she pushes herself off the door and walks toward the couch. She sits beside Buck and crosses her legs. "The weather has been still. No, rain, not that much heat. Just...calm."

"The clouds looked like the ones from Toy Story today." Buck says.

Emery raises her brows, "I...didn't think anybody else noticed that." She then laughs. A smile finds Buck's lips, knowing he was able to distract her. Just for a moment.

Emery looks down at her empty ring finger and sucks in a breath. She reaches up for the metal chain around her neck and she pulls the necklace from from her under bra. Buck looks at the necklace that had two wedding bands attached to it. For the last 3 months they've been having sex, Buck has never seen Emery wearing that necklace.

"I take it off, before we meet." Emery states, basically reading his mind.

"You don't...mind me wearing this, do you?"

Buck blinks, "Why would I?"

Emery looks at the ceiling, trying to control her breathing and emotions. "Because...I haven't moved on from her. Not really."

Buck slightly tilts his head and Emery looks back at him. He had confusion written across his face.

"There's not a certain time when you have to 'move on' you know that, right?" Buck smiles softly. "It's whenever you're ready."

Emery's jaw goes slack and her back straightens. But her throat tightens as well. When she was with William, all he had was envy towards Helena. That relationship was always bound to fail. Emery realizes that now. From her not being able to move on from Helena to William not knowing how to be with a grieving woman that was stuck in the past.

Emery then does something unexpected. She wraps her arms around Buck's neck and her chin against the crook of his neck. She used enough force to push him against the arm of the couch. Buck quietly grunts and slightly turns his head to look at the girl. She was...hugging him? Or strangling him? No, hugging. Definitely hugging.

Then Buck hears a sniffle and his neck begins to feel wet. She was crying? He didn't know Emery could cry. He always thought she was some kind of robot. Knowing she has feelings other than anger was comforting. Buck cautiously lifts one of his hands. He thought that if he moved suddenly, Emery would freak out. Which would cause him to freak out. He places a hand on Emery's upper back and pulls her closer to him, hugging her back. And a small smile ghosts his lips.

Then something happens inside of Buck.

His heart skips a beat.

The smile on his lips drops.

Oh shit.

Emery feels Buck tense under her and she realizes how long they've been hugging. Her eyes then widen. Hugging—when the hell did I start hugging him?

Emery pulls away from him and wipes at her eyes. "Uh, I'm sorry." She lets out a soft chuckle.

Buck stares at the girl for a moment. His heart beat was pounding through his ears. And all of the sudden he felt extremely nervous. His stomach flutters and his back straightens. Snap out of it.

Buck clears his throat and shakes his head. "No, it's—you don't have to apologize. I'm glad that I could help."

Emery bites the inside of her cheek. "You did help, Buck."

Buck nervously chuckles and rubs his neck. Emery tilts her head, noticing the red tint to Buck's face. "I should get going before Maddie starts to wonder where I am."

Emery raises her brows, "Yeah, of course." She nods her head. Emery didn't know what to do. Should she walk him to the door? Emery never did that after they had sex. But this time they didn't have sex. They talked, like really talked. Then they hugged.

Emery keeps her legs crossed and she watches as Buck makes his way over to the door. He grabs the doorknob and looks back at the girl. Emery holds up a hand and timidly waves. Buck chuckles and waves back. "Have a good night, Emerson."

"Thanks, you too, Buck."

Buck leaves the apartment and he closes the door behind him. As soon as that door shut, he let out a shaky breath. A breath that felt like he had held it in for hours. He touches his chest and feels his heart pounding against his ribcage.

Realization hits him like a truck and he was now scared shitless.

He had feelings for Emerson.

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author's note :

BUCK LIKES EMERY (like it's about time mf) 🤭

Also I am so excited for the future of this fic. It's going to be one emotional roller coaster 💃🏾

words : 5201