𝐍𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐂𝐚𝐥𝐝𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐥, 𝐍𝐉

||𝐎𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐬||
❤︎❤︎❤︎

"I said I don't play!" I heard Kaya shout loudly. I leaned back on the bench watching Amir, Kaya, and Brielle.

We ended up coming to the park just to get out the house. Lia went back to work and I wasn't trying to stay in, so I hit up Amir and he came over. He was already in town since he wanted to talk, so it wasn't that hard. I chuckled to myself as Amir walked back over to the bench. He blew out a deep breath sitting beside me.

"They argue a lot." I mentioned, putting my attention back on the two little girls. They were sitting on the grass playing with their dolls. The two of them fighting every once in a while on who gets to play with what. They both were just like their mom.

Kaya was aggressive like Kay.

Brielle was quiet like Maya.

Both girls look just like Amir.

"A lot and I'm tired of it. They can work a damn nerve." he blew out another breath.

"Tell me about it." I look over at the stroller where the twins were in. They were sound asleep after crying for about thirty minutes. I tried giving them a bottle, their pacifier, shit I even held them in my arms but that didn't do nothing. They didn't stop until I laid on the bed and rested them on my chest.

Yeah, they were spoiled as fuck.

"Anyway, whatchu wanna talk about homie? It better be important too nigga." I told him and he smacked his lips.

"What Lia got you on a timeframe or something?" he joked.

"No, but she was hesitant with me bringing the twins out here. She thinks it's a little too soon for them to be outside. Made a whole checklist, checked the diaper bag like twenty times, and gave me a whole jug of hand sanitizer." I shook my head thinking of Lia earlier.

I had mentioned going to the park to her and she went crazy. Isaiah and I watched her go back and forth like a mad man. It was funny though I'm not gon' lie.

"Understandable, they're still young." He said and I nodded my head.

"Anyway, whatchu need?" I asked again.

"Well, I needed some advice." He replied. I quickly put my attention on him surprised.

"Amir fucking Davis wants advice from me? His little brother?" I asked stunned, he smack his lips.

"Don't make it into something it's not." he told me.

A huge smile formed on my face, "Oh you know I am. But, seriously, need my advice on what?"

He let out a sigh, "I wanna know exactly how you asked." he said, I raised my brow confused.

"Asked what?"

"Asked Lia to marry you." I stared at him for a minute before facing forward. I cleared my throat, running my hands down my pants.

"Right. You wanna know how I asked Lia to marry me..." I trailed off, nodding my head slowly.

"Yeah, y'all the only ones I know that's married and you my boy. I figured you could be of some help."

"Cool, who are you trying to marry?" I asked, stalling from answering his question. I never really thought I would have to tell someone how I asked Lia to marry me. It wasn't really romantic and I felt embarrassed to even mention it to someone.

Let alone Mir.

"Who else dum-dum? I wanna marry Amaya, I wanted to one day and it didn't go as planned. So, I wanna actually ask her and do it right which is why I need your help, dawg. Stop stalling." he lightly punched my arm, I sigh lowly to myself.

"So, she was home at her place with Isaiah of course cause he was a baby. Uhhh..." I dragged, scratching the back of my neck. "...I knocked on the door and she opened it. And there I was down on one knee and I asked her to propose." I told the half truth.

"Simple, I like it. Just go ahead and ask her."

"Uhh, nah, don't do that." I told him, shaking my head. "Youn wanna do that. Proposing is suppose to be romantic-"

"Yeah, but something simple is also memorable."

"But, she might say no, so don't do that." I told him, lifting up the blanket and checking on the twins.

"Why would she say no? You kept it simple and Lia said yes, so-"

"But, she didn't though." I cut him off making him look at me.

"Whatchu mean? Y'all not married?"

"We're married, legally. It's just when I asked her to marry me we weren't really on good terms. I mean we talked and hugged every now and then, but we lived in different apartments. I went over sometimes to see Isaiah and we barely spoke to each other. She still hated me, and I went ahead and proposed to her. She never said no, but she did imply it by asking if I was sure or not. It was hesitation on both sides." I finally admitted.

I sigh lowly then spoke, "We're married for sure, but at times I wonder if we're actually married. If you get what I'm saying."

"Yea, I understand. Damn, bro why didn't say something?" he asked and I shrugged my shoulders.

"Ion know, I was too embarrassed to mention it to anyone. So, don't go around telling my business bro." I told him getting serious for a moment.

"Nigga, relax. I'm not gonna tell anyone your business, that's not how I roll. That's surprising to know though, you could've told me."

I shrugged my shoulders, "Like I said, I was too embarrassed. But, I think you should do something romantic for Maya. It'll be better and more memorable, I promise." I told him, nudging his shoulder.

He nodded his head, "Aight, but we gotta make a deal first. If I propose to Maya, imma need you to ask Lia to marry you again." he said, I slowly nodded my head.

"So, you want me to ask her again? Properly this time?"

"Yup, just ask her to marry you again. You don't have to do another wedding since that's a lot. Just this time make it romantic for the both of y'all. Got it?" he asked standing up. He put his hand out in front of me, I shook it while nodding my head.

"Aight, and be romantic for Maya."

"And do it right for Lia."

||𝐀𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐬||

"It all started after your father and I got married. We weren't ready for marriage, but I wanted to prove my parents wrong. I wanted them to see that I can be on my own and live my life to the fullest without them constantly on my back. They told me that it wouldn't last for long because a guy like your father don't go for girls like me. They were somewhat right about that."

I crossed my arms over my chest as my mom took a pause.

"And?" I questioned wanting her to move on with the story.

She cleared her throat, "Eventually him and I lost touch with one another. He didn't look at me the same anymore, he didn't like my appearance very much. We lost touch emotionally, physically, and sexually." she continued.

"He-" she paused again, taking a deep breath. "We had different visions when it came to being pleasured. I wanted one thing and he wanted another. That was until I ended up finding him on the computer...looking..." she trailed off, looking down.

"At?"

"Lia-"

"Can you not try and stall!" I cut her off, raising my voice a little. I calmed down since people were starting to look at us crazy. I knew coming to a restaurant would be a bad idea to talk, but knowing people were around stopped me from choking her.

"Can you just go on." I said more calmly.

She sigh again, "I seen him looking at little girls. He was feeling himself while he looked at them." she explained and I almost felt like throwing up.

"They were little girls, no older than eleven I believe. Him and I got into an argument about it, and he confessed to me that he had sexual fantasies about messing with little girls. He just found them attractive for some reason and he wanted them." she spoke lowly so I could only hear her.

I was glad there wasn't anyone surrounding us since it was getting dark out. Only a couple tables were filled, and some truck drivers were sitting at the counter. They were too busy in conversation to even listen to ours.

I cleared my throat, "So, how did he get those girls he recorded with?" I asked, regretting it soon after. I didn't want to know the answer, but that was the whole reason why I came to talk to her. I needed to know everything even if it was disgusting.

She shook her head, "I use to work in this shelter for little girls that needed help. They were either kicked out of their homes or was a pregnant teenager. I made a deal with your father to give him any girl he wanted if he just stayed with me. All I wanted was his love and attention, and if that meant giving him little girls...I just took the opportunity without thinking. I regret every moment of it, Lia you have to believe me." she reached out for my hand, but I pulled it back.

"You let my dad rape little girls that needed your help? They needed your help, they trusted you and you let them get rape just to save your fucked up marriage?" I questioned getting pissed off. Tears started to cascade down her cheeks making me even more mad.

I hated people that cried when they got caught in their lies. Trying to manipulate someone into thinking they're sorry for their mistakes. She might be sorry, but that was still a fucked up thing to do. Nothing can change that.

I shook my head, "I'm not falling for the crying bull crap...I'm not doing it." I told her. I cleared my throat, sitting up in my seat. I was ready for this to be over with.

She sniffled, "I am truly sorry, Lia. I didn't mean to leave you, but your uncle forced me to. He found out about everything with your dad and I. He knew what we were doing and used that to blackmail me. We never had a good connection with each other, he thought I was ruining his life with me disobeying our parents. They set rules and tried to hide me from the real world cause of some stupid condition. He didn't like that and made me choose between y'all..."

"And you chose to take Anthony and leave me." I finished for her. I nodded my head, sniffling a little. "He gave you an ultimatum I'm assuming to either turn my dad in or give one of us away. And you picked to give me away instead."

"I had no choice-"

"But, you did though." I cut her off. "You had a choice to turn my dad in, but you didn't do that. Did you not do it cause you knew you was gonna go down as well? You didn't want to lose your job or be sent to prison. You chose to get rid of your only daughter just to save your ass."

"I had to do what I had to do, Lia. I need you to understand that. Your father would've went to prison and I didn't want that to happen. I'm sorry, but I was trying to help out everyone."

"But, it turned into a lie that you couldn't keep anymore and now we're here. And your parents were trying to protect you."

"No they weren't. I was perfectly fine as a child, they just wanted to control me and I wouldn't let them."

"Right, they were trying to control you by telling you that you have a heart disease. A disease that can kill you if not treated quickly. The same condition I have and have been trying to get rid of." I spoke sternly, she stopped moving and out his attention on me.

"You-You have it?" she asked, her voice getting low. I noticed tears started to form and I look away from her.

"Yes, I have it. I can remember the first time I experienced it, it felt like I was going to die. My heart beating uncontrollably, I was dizzy, and I couldn't breath. I tried getting rid of it with surgery, but my doctor told me that too many surgeries would put me to rest. Basically saying that my body can't undergo all these surgeries to try and fix this, so I stopped.

"You don't know how scared I was while I was giving birth to my son. Thinking about whether or not I'm going to die while bringing a life into this world. I didn't want to die like my mother had, but that was all a lie. Everything was all a lie. As usually I'm the last one to know and people wonder why I shut out. People lie to me all the damn time, telling me one thing while meaning another. I go to therapy to try and speak about my feelings because I can't do that with people I know."

"People take advantage of my kindness and run over me cause they just know Lia is gonna forgive them. Lia is the girl that forgives everyone even if they rape her multiple times or say some really fucked up shit about her to his friends. She just have this loving heart that people will rip out and stomp on with no care in the world. And you wanna know why they do it with no care in the world? Cause they know she's going to forgive them for doing it. She always forgives them for breaking her heart and have to build it back up by herself."

I sigh to myself feeling the urge to cry, "I always have to fix my heart by myself because people just don't care, and I care too much. But, you know what...I'm over it. I'm so over it." I continued, shaking my head.

"I'm over it seriously. I'm over people walking over me and treating me like shit. And in return they get mad at me when I refuse to express my fucking self or shut them out. Yeah, I have issues, but I can't possibly tell people because they'll just look at me like I'm stupid. But, I'm tired of it. I'm sick and fucking tired of it."

"For 21 years, I always had love for people that done me wrong. There was never hate in my heart because for some reason I couldn't hate anymore. But, I grown up and realized sometimes you need to hate people..." I paused, lifting my head up and looking at her.

"Lia..." she called my name, tears cascading down her cheeks.

"Mom...I hate you." I told her. My stomach doing flips when those words came out my mouth. "I hate you. I hate dad. I hate the way he treated me. I hate that you left me with him. I hate that you lied to me. I hate you."

I sigh, wiping my tears then looking down. "I hate you, and I don't want you in my life. I just-I just can't and I'm not sorry." I told her meaning every word of it.

I wiped my tears, "I hate you."

I hate you.

I hate you.

I hate you.

I.

Hate.

You.

Laying on the bed, I stared at the lightly greyed paint color. I noticed just laying here for the past two hours that we needed to redo our room. It was a grey and white theme, and at the moment I was starting to hate it. I needed something new, something bright maybe. I was about to turn over, but I felt an arm wrap around me.

I look back and Onest gave me a smile. "You good?" he asked.

"Uhh, I'm not quite sure how to answer that." I answered truthfully, he nodded his head.

"Okay, are you able to tell me how your feeling right now or you don't want to do that either?" he asked.

"I-" I paused, laying my head back down. "I told her that I hated her." I answered.

"Your mom?" He asked and I nodded my head. "First time those three words came out your mouth."

"Yup." I responded. There was silence between the both of us, then I spoke.

"Should I feel bad?" I asked.

"Depends. Do you feel bad?"

"No...but that's only because I'm tired of people running over me." I answered, turning to face him. He placed his hand on my face, caressing my cheek with his thumb. I took a moment to embrace his soft hands touching my face. It calmed me quickly.

"Your tired of people running over you?" He asked, I slowly nodded my head holding his wrist.

"Yeah, I guess me mom assumed I'll forgive her when she did her pity crying. I told her that I was tired of people breaking my heart and me apologizing for what they did to me. It was starting to get annoying and I was getting mad at myself for even allowing it. I finally came to my senses." I finally admitted to him. I surprised myself a little, but started to feel relived when I admitted it.

"Are you proud of me?" I asked and he gave me a smile.

"Yeah, I'm proud of you baby. I'm happy that you stood your ground with your mom. I feel as though if you forgave her, you'll only be hurting yourself and I don't want you doing that. It's okay to tell people off and not forgive, not everyone is worth being forgiven." he ran his thumb over my bottom lip.

It made me feel warm inside and gave me that tingly feeling I always got. I bite my lip as we stared at each other flirtatiously. He lick over his lips before leaning down and passionately kissing me. Pulling away, I kept my eyes closed for a moment processing everything.

"Honestly..." I dragged out, opening my eyes and looking at him.

He chuckled, "Honestly..." he mimicked me.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

1. thoughts on this chapter?

2. Birthday in 6 days...