Minneapolis, Minnesota
Dance with My Father by Luther Vandross
Fri. Dec. 24th, 10:23AM
"How Could You"
🏀

Intuition.

The ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.

Intuition.

A feeling that something was off before knowing what it was exactly.

Intuition.

It was eating her alive without her even realizing it. Dess head was leaned against the window as they pass by houses. She was coming back from going charity work with DeeDee, Isabella, and Riley at a children's hospital. It was Christmas Eve, a day that should be filled with joyful smiles and cheerful laughters. Everyone else was feeling that way expect for her. She had that weird feeling in her gut soon as she woke up that something was off.

The feeling hasn't left since then and the pain in her stomach grew as they got closer to the house. Hearing the blaring alarm of an ambulance made Dess slowly lift her head up. The car slowed down and all four ladies looked appalled at the sight of police cars and an ambulance in front of their house. That gut feeling Dess was experiencing finally felt like someone constantly kicking her in the stomach to get a reaction. They had gotten it.

Dess unlocked the car door and hopped out before DeeDee put the car in park. She rushed to the house where three officers stood in front of the door. Their conversation paused when she approached them and tried to get inside.

"Excuse me, you can't go in-" One of the officers started but quickly stopped when Dess pushed past them. She went right to the staircase, standing at the bottom of it, and stared ahead. Her mind was trying to tell her that everything was fine. That the police cars and the ambulance wasn't here for what her gut was telling her. There was nothing wrong and they were here for no reason. No reason at all.

Taking a deep breath, she started up the stairs in a slow pace. Her heart was beating out of her chest with each step she took to reach the top. Her legs were growing weak resulting in her holding onto the banister the rest of the way. As soon as she took the last step, she swallowed hard when she seen Tatum, her grandfather, and a man in uniform standing in front of Stephen's door. What she didn't want to believe was actually the truth.

"Opa." She called out to her grandfather, making them all look her way.

She hurried down the hallway to her father's room. Stopping in front of the door, there were two other emergency workers inside putting equipment away. She ignored their presence as she haltingly entered the room and went straight to the bed. Her father laid on the back, his eyes closed like he was sleeping. Dess wanted to believe he was sleeping, getting the extra rest that he needed. Nothing more. She placed her hand on his chest and shook him with the thought of waking him.

"Daddy." She said while shaking him still. "Daddy, please wake up."

"Dess." Opa said her name, reaching out to touch her shoulder.

"Don't touch me." She forcefully told him. She wasn't trying to come off rude but that's how it was taken. Opa nodded and took a step away from her, signaling for the workers to give her time. She needed it.

"Daddy, please wake up." Dess continued talking to Stephen despite him not responding. He was sleeping still, that's what she was thinking. The only thing that was going on in her mind.

She looked over her shoulder and everyone else in the room with watery eyes. "He's just sleeping." She said to them all as she tried convincing herself it was true.

"Dess-"

"He's sleeping." She cut her grandfather sentence off. Tears were running down her cheeks now unknowingly. She looked back at her father who laid there unresponsive.

"He's just sleeping." She forced herself to repeat one more time. While she stared at her father, realization overcame her that he indeed was not sleeping. He wasn't going to wake up no matter how hard she shakes him. He wasn't getting up at all.

"Dess...we have to let the workers do their job." Opa told her.

She shook her head, climbing on the bed. She laid next to her father, resting her head on his chest. She thought she would hear a heartbeat. There was nothing. That confirmed the worst.

"Please don't do this to me." She cried on Stephen's chest. "Please don't."

"Dess, they have to do their job sweetheart." Her grandmother repeated in attempt to get her off. She wasn't budging. Dess stayed rested on Stephen's breathless body, her eyes filled with tears, and some cascading down her cheeks.

"How could you do this to me?" Dess croaked. She shut her eyes tightly and allowed all the tears to run. She tried to force herself to think positively. Nothing was wrong. This was all a nightmare that she was going to wake up from soon.

At any moment now.

Any moment now.

Any.

Moment.

Now.

"Dess," Opa called out to her once again while shaking her arm. "They have to take him, Dess. He has to go sweetheart. He has to," he tried to get her to budge. Dess kept her eyes shut tightly, her arm around Stephen's torso, and refused to move off him. This wasn't real.

"How could you do this?" She asked again. It was the only question she had.

How could he?

🏀

10:53AM

Numb.

Emotionally unable to feel or respond in a normal way.

Numb.

Not having any emotions, especially after a traumatic experience.

Numb.

It's been half-an-hour since they took him away from her. Half-an-hour since they arrived back home and found her father peacefully sleeping. Half-an-hour she's been lying in his bedroom, in the same spot with dried up tears, and not speaking to anyone. Her silence was all that was going to be heard. Nothing more.

Curled in a ball, Dess had found herself unable to move from this very spot. Her arm was stretched out on the other side of the bed as she imagined her father lying beside her still. She was holding onto him. He wasn't taken away from her. He was alive and well and here with her for the rest of his life. He was going to live long enough to see her graduate college and watch her become a brand new person. Her dreams will be fulfilled and he'll be there to witness it all.

He would not.

He was gone. The workers tried to resuscitate moments before she arrived but they were too late. The verdict was clear as glass, he had died in his sleep. A peaceful death as one would say. A death that, believe it or not, could not have been prevented. No matter what. That's why it was hurting Dess the most. She was constantly trying to come up with ways to avoid this very situation. But that wasn't possible. It was death. No one could escape it. She knew that, and yet she wholeheartedly believed she could have stopped it if she knew earlier.

All she could feel was anger.

She was angry at her dad for not telling her.

She was angry at her family for letting it get this far.

She was angry at Shai for not being here.

She was angry at herself more than anyone else though. It was her fault for having this childish mindset that made situations like this difficult. It was her fault for not applying pressure to her father's health. It was her fault for not being there and taking care of him like she should. College should have waited and she should've stayed home to be with him longer. All that time on books and cheering and culture was wasted when she could've been tending to her father.

She was stupid and pissed at herself for not being there. Now her time had ran out and there was no way she could get any of it back. This wasn't a cartoon or a movie where a Time Machine could be built and she could fix things. This was her life and she felt hopeless not knowing what to do moving forward. This was her last stop. It was a dead end after this and there was nowhere to go beyond it.

She didn't know what to do.

She heard a knock coming from the door then it opened. She had no idea who it was and didn't bother to look either. She wasn't speaking to anyone and needed her family to understand that. Tatum knocked on the door again to see if she'll turn to face him.

When she didn't, he chose to proceed anyway. "I know you don't want to talk and that's understand, but DeeDee and Opa wanted me to tell you that the hospital confirmed Stephen's death. He passed away in his sleep." He informed her. He was sure she had put it together on her own but he had the responsibility to tell her.

He received silence as a response. He bobbed his head, expecting that already. Before coming up here to talk to her, he had went through all the possible outcomes that'll come with him speaking to her. He was just doing what he was supposed to do to fulfill DeeDee requests. She was bombarding him with questions about what Dess was doing. He couldn't keep ignoring her which is why he was here.

He cleared his throat then said more, "Uhh, listen Dess, I know you're hurting and I know that moving forward it's going to be difficult. You're not alone and you don't have to deal with it by yourself either. You have the family. We're going to protect and take care of you like Stephen wants us to. We're going to do all of that and more and-" Tatum paused his sentence when Dess got off the bed.

She started walking towards him, Tatum thinking she was going to engage in conversation. That was the opposite of what she was going for. Dess pressed her hand against his chest and moved him out the room. Her other hand on the door and she slammed it in his face. She locked the door then went back to the bed, going back in the same position as before. As her eyes started to water, she shut them and forced her mind to go to something else. Somewhere else.

"Why'd you leave me?"

🏀

6:34PM

>>>I love you

Tatum read the message on his phone. Those three words were dangerous to say nowadays because one would never know the true intentions. Nonetheless, those three words being said would always get to him. It got to him even more as those were the last words his own brother said to him. I love you. Him and Stephen didn't say it often to each other, Tatum finding it corny as men to say. But when those three words were said, it was the best feeling he had ever felt. It was unfortunate that he would no longer get those random messages anymore.

"I don't know what to do anymore!" DeeDee uttered as she entered the kitchen. Several heads turned her way, including Tatum. DeeDee walked around the counter then leaned against it. She scanned the kitchen where her family was seated at.

"What's wrong?" Kirk questioned, pushing his glasses back as he read over Stephen's funeral plans. It was paining him having to do this so suddenly. Witnessing your own child death was a parent's worst nightmare.

DeeDee scoffed with a head shake. "It's Dess. I'm trying to get her out the room so she can eat and be down here with us." She answered.

"We all knew how she was going to react. We should let her be." Kirk mentioned. He took his glasses off then rubbed the bridge of his nose.

"Umm, that's a terrible idea, Kirk. Letting her stay in the room all day will make her depressed. The door is locked too and that's a no-no in this house." DeeDee said while shaking her finger.

"She gets a pass this time around as she is grieving, DeeDee. We shouldn't bombard her but instead be there for her."

DeeDee shook her head, not agreeing. "Yes, we should be there but in order to do that she needs to be down here. Being cooped up in that room is not the way!" She emphasized.

"Actually, where is the key? I know the room keys are around here somewhere. She needs to get out-"

"Deborah!" Kirk yelled her name. He scared Tatum, Riley, and Isabella with how loud he was. DeeDee turned to husband, his furrowed eyebrows said what needed to be said.

"Fine." She mumbled, lightly patting her hands on the counter. "Fine. I'll leave her alone but she needs to get out that room eventually, Kirk. She can't stay in there the entire time she's home. That's not healthy."

"I'm aware." Kirk spoke lowly. He sighed, sitting back in the chair and tapped his glasses on the table.

The kitchen got quiet between all of them. Each other having their own thoughts and feelings regarding what occurred today. Though their thoughts were different, everyone was feeling the same in general. Sadness that their son, brother, and uncle had went home to the man above. It was too soon and threw everyone's day off. Now, their Christmas would forever have this memory and mournfulness of losing a loved one. It was hurting them all but was hurting Dess the worst.

"I know how to get Dess out the room." Riley broke the silence. All heads turned to face her, waiting to hear what she had to say.

"Well, how?"

"Shai."

The reactions were odd. Tatum smack his lips, going on his phone. He didn't bother to hear anything else she had to say. DeeDee shook her head and was on the same page with not wanting to hear it. Isabella was indifferent and Kirk seemed to have showed interest in it.

He was the only one who engaged. "Shai?" He questioned, Riley nodding her head.

"No, let's find another way." DeeDee chose to stop whatever route Riley was trying to go down.

"Yes, please." Tatum agreed. "We don't need him to come down here to do anything. We can handle it ourselves."

"I don't think so." Riley interjected. "I mean no offense but none of us are going to get Dess out that room. Shai is the only person that can do that and we all know that."

"Like I said, we don't need him." Tatum repeated with an attitude.

Riley rolled her eyes. She ignored him and addressed Kirk and DeeDee. "Anyway, grandparents..." she said sarcastically. Time rolled his eyes. "realistically speaking, Shai and Dess are two peas in a pod. They're tighter than a knot on a children shoe and that's usually tight. You all didn't see how they interact when they came down to get married. They're each other rock and supporter and I'm not exaggerating that either. She needs him more than ever right now." She stressed.

"I have to second that." Isabella finally chimed in.

Riley pointed at her cousin with a head nod. "Exactly. Isabella gets it."

"Whether she gets it or not, we don't need him here. The nigga is irrelevant and doesn't need to be involved in every single thing with Dess. My God! Get off his dick!" Tatum cursed irritatedly.

"Tate." Tatum looked at his father. "Watch your mouth," Kirk told him.

"I'm just saying, Shai isn't needed. He's not coming down here anyway which was already stated. He wanna play basketball then let him. He doesn't need to be where." Tatum added in there.

"Oh my gosh! Why are you being such an asshole?" Riley questioned. She knew she shouldn't curse but she had to. She was over with Tatum's rudeness and him being weird towards Shai.

"Riley." Kirk said her name in a warning tone. Even if they were upset and irritated with each other, he didn't want to hear the cursing.

"Sorry, Opa, but I'm not liking the way Tatum is acting towards Shai. He's done nothing to any of us and especially not towards Dess. You seen the way they interacted when they down here. We heard the way they talk to each other. The way Shai listens and pays close attention. They love each other to death and that's why they're married. Shai isn't just some boyfriend. He's a husband. Dess husband and he deserves to know about his wife hurting." Riley took a second then turned to face Kirk. It seemed to her that he was the only one listening.

"Opa, unless you want Dess to stay locked in that room the entire she's here, not talking to us, and risk her mental health failing to the point where we might lose her as well, then I suggest we bring Shai here. She needs him." She continued.

Kirk looked towards his wife and Tatum. The only ones who weren't with the idea of having Shai coming down. But they weren't the one who Stephen asked for Kirk to watch over. It was Dess. And yes, they all lost someone in common who meant a lot to them, losing a parent was the hardest. He needed to do what was right and what was best for her.

"Get in contact with him."

🏀

Hampton University, Virginia

Shai peeked inside the office seeing Logan sitting at the desk. He knocked on the wall to get Logan attention. "You mind if I talk to you real quick?" Shai asked.

Logan waved him inside, "Yeah. Come in." Shai left his duffel bag outside the door then walked in the office to the desk. Logan finished up on his laptop then shut it to give Shai his full attention.

"What's up?" Logan questioned, beginning the conversation.

"Uhh, I know we have tons of games next week and for the reminder of the break, and we don't have enough players but I need to go." Shai went right in with it.

"You need to go?" Logan eyebrows arched at the request. "There's only five of you here, Shai. We need everyone that we can get for these games."

"I know and I get that. I don't want y'all to forfeit any games but my wife is way more important than any of these games. I came to you specifically because I know you're married, so you'll understand the importance of being there for your significant other. I need to leave now." Shai insisted to show that this wasn't a joking matter.

When he received the Instagram DM from Riley telling him that Stephen died, he wasted no time finding a flight to Minneapolis tonight. It was slightly expensive because it was too soon but money was never a problem for him. What was a problem was him not being there for his wife in the first place. He knew he should've been the one to go home and not the other five. However, what he didn't do wasn't a concern. It was what he was going to do now and that was going to see his wife and be by her side. He didn't care for the games.

"We'll only have four of you." Logan let him know. Shai shrugged. He didn't want it to seem like he didn't care but he truly didn't.

"I'll try to be back before our next game but my wife needs me. Whether you agree to let me go or not, I was leaving regardless. I just preferred to let you know first." Shai said.

Logan figured that. He sighed then looked at his watch. There was nothing he could say or do that'll make Shai stay. He understood the importance of being there for your significant other. They'll have to figure it out the rest when the time comes.

"Okay." Logan nodded. "You can go," he gave his permission.

After thanking him, Shai exited the office and grabbed his duffel bag along the way. He pulled his phone out while he rushed out the gym. Once he was out the building, he seen his Uber was waiting by the stairs. He hurried to the car, made sure it was for him, then settled in the backseat. Shai attempted to call Dess so he could tell her that he was going to be there. It went straight to voicemail and he decided to leave a message. A simple and quick one. One with so much thought in it.

"I'm coming baby."

🏀

Thoughts?