^^ like i'm gonna lose you (jasmine thompson cover)

::::::::::

James was walking home from school when the sun decided to hide behind the clouds. He was worried about his best friend. They kissed. And now she hadn't replied to his texts for two days.

Val probably doesn't want to be my friend anymore after that... James thought.

He walked into his front door to find his mother waiting for him. Her eyes were red and puffy, tears still coming down her cheeks.

"Mom? What's wrong?" He hurriedly lead her to their couch to sit her down.

"It's Valerie." His mom replied sadly. "She's... gone." She broke into another fit of tears.

James parted his lips in surprise. "Gone? Like ran away?"

"No, James." She let out a shaky breath. "She's dead. She passed away."

Everything in the world seemed to stop for James. She's dead? There's no way..

Suddenly the world was less vibrant. The sunlight was duller, the trees outside were dead. He stood up suddenly and headed out the door.

"James!"

But James ignored his mother's crying and calling. "I'll be right back."

His mind wasn't there. But his feet seemed to be guiding him.

To their favourite spot.

:::::

There, in the public library, James headed straight toward the table they had always sat at. The one in the back corner, in the biography section.

Of course, Valerie wasn't there. In her place was a small, red velvet box.

He picked it up hastily and took off the lid.

Inside were folded pieces of paper. Each one a letter from his dead best friend. No, not best friend. The love of his life, his soulmate.

As he read through the letters, James couldn't stop the tears from falling. Salty and cold like how he was feeling right now.

Why didn't she just tell me? He was now angry at Valerie for not telling him. Why did she keep this from me?

James picked up the fourth letter from the small box and then it was empty inside, like him right now.

Dear James,

I wrote this letter ahead of time, in case anything happens. God, I'm a genius...

So if you are in fact reading this, it means the sun did not shine upon me and offer mercy.
I am dead now.

You're probably angry at me for not telling you about my condition in person. I am too. But you have to accept this, because it's too late. I didn't want to disappoint you, but now I've disappointed myself.

This will be my last moment with you on this earth. But you'll always have these letters to remind you of me. To remind you that I have always loved you.

I love you as my best friend, as my other half, and as the love of my short life.

The moment I knew I loved you wasn't so long ago. In fact, it was just last year. When my gramps died and you comforted me. It was the thing that you said to me that made me realize I was in love with you.

"Lay your head on me, I'll take away your sorrows. And I'm never letting go."

At that moment I knew, that I would always be safe in your arms. But all I ask of you, is that you remember me. Because we all want to be remembered.

I love you, James. I love everything about you. Your tsundere personality, your beautiful eyes, you.

Love,
Valerie.

James stared at the letter until the words started to blur together and tears stained the paper.

I love you too...

But it was too late to say it.

::::::::::

"so i'm gonna love you,
like i'm gonna lose you"