Disclaimer!: The topics mentioned in this chapter might be a bit heavy, read at your own discretion. 

ten, now

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...

You've been staring at your phone all morning.

You miss your parents. You remember the way your Mom used to make you swear to never grow older. Made you promise to stay with her forever.

As a child, you always readily promised her, despite wondering in the back of your mind how you were supposed to do that. However, as you grew older, you did the opposite of what you promised. Of course, you knew she wasn't being serious despite your Mom wishing she could be, but still, you can't help but think of it as ironic.

Especially 'cause now, you wish you could run home. That you could just go back.

You wonder if they still kept your room the way it was before you left. Probably not, but it'd be cool to see your old room, it'd be like traveling back in time. Time as a child.

A time when you weren't going through grief because you hadn't met your boyfriend... and you didn't have to go through him... leaving, ... a time when you didn't have to worry about...

Him.

Breaking in and out whenever he felt. You knew something was weird about him the moment you first saw him. The way he was staring at you in that bar of his.

You can still see how piercing his green eyes were that day, how they held what he seemed to be holding back on display with no shame. He carried such a heavy gaze, you felt him when you weren't even looking at him.

You shook your head as he slowly started plaguing your thoughts. You were in such a slump. Your little plan had failed. You failed to tell Armin about him.

And you can't stop thinking about whether or not he's in danger.

"What are you thinking about?" Jean's voice pierces through your cloudy mind and you look up to find him scooping the eggs out of your pan and onto a dish.

You perk up at the question, averting your eyes as Jean turns to look at you. "Uh... I was thinking about what I was gonna paint for Ar- Anonymous," you stumble and mentally curse yourself for it.

"Were you?" He asks, grabbing the bread he toasted from the oven and putting that on the plate as well.

"What do you mean?" You watch him make plates and walk over to the island.

"I'm just saying you don't sound too sure about it," he places your plate in front of you and sits across from you, eying you carefully.

When you don't respond right away, he says, "You've been distant lately."

You frowned, "I don't mean to... I just... have a lot on my mind."

"Like what? Why won't you tell me? You don't trust me??" Neither of you has touched your food yet and that question only makes you lose your appetite. You hate that Jean thinks that way because that's furthest from the truth.

You look him over, opening your mouth to say something, but you pause. You noticed the stubble along his jaw, much more than usual. The dark circles under his eyes indicate he was exhausted. Was he... stressing out over this?

Was work getting out of hand? You couldn't pinpoint it. But this isn't what you wanted. You didn't want him worrying about a thing, but it looks like another one of your plans has failed.

Your frown deepens and you look down.

"I have something to tell you myself..." he starts and you look up at him. "But when I tell you, you gotta promise me a couple of things."

You look to the side before your gaze fleets back to his, "Okay," you nod.

"Promise me you won't freak out," but the moment he says that, your heart rate picks up with worry. You purse your lips slightly, waiting for him to continue. "And in exchange for this... you have to tell me what's going on with you. We're best friends, we shouldn't be keeping stuff from each other. ...Even if we think we're doing it for a good reason."

You nod quickly. "Jean, what is it?"

After a second, he swallows, sighing as he reaches for something in his pocket. You wait with bated breath as you hear a ruffling sound and eventually, he pulls it out, slowly laying a folded piece of paper in front of you.

Paper that seems far too familiar.

You look up at him with wide eyes and he nods towards it. "Open it," he purses his lips.

You grab the paper with shaky fingers and unfold it. Your eyes are immediately drawn to words and your brain reads them faster than you can register their meaning.

But despite that, your breath stilled in your chest, it was so silent, that you could hear your own heartbeat pounding.

Can't wait to see you again, Jean
I'm thinking tonight
When you're least expecting it

-M

"Jean,..." You let your eyes linger on the 'M' at the bottom for a second before you lifted your gaze, meeting Jean's dark hazel eyes. "What is this?"

He sucks in a small breath before starting, "It's been going on for a couple of weeks now. Sometimes I run into notes, but it only happens when I'm at my apartment alone. It's never when Sasha and Connie are there. This is the first one since you left."

"But who's sending you these??" The urgency in your tone and facial expression must be worrisome because Jean pauses and gives you an odd look.

"You wouldn't know even if I gave you a name, ..." he trails. "Would you?"

"...It depends on what the name is," you swallow and the room stills for another second before his face twists in a series of different emotions.

"What does that mean?" He asks.

You sigh through your nose, tucking stray strands of hair behind your ear before standing up. "Stay here," you murmur, turning and leaving the kitchen. You look at the staircase and roll your eyes at them despite feeling a certain anxiousness settling in the pit of your stomach.

Jean doesn't respond, but you don't hear him move so you continue to your stairs. You walk up to them normally, refusing to show fear in case anyone is watching. But damn, you really hope no one was watching.

Finally, you ascend them and push into your room quickly grab the bag with your notes in it, and pull it open. You grabbed the few notes they left, and walked back out, forgetting to shut the door behind you.

You forced yourself to calm down as you quickly stalked back down the staircase, making your way over to Jean. You glared meanly at his note, the thought royally pissing you off.

You spread the papers and showed them to him. He grabbed the one that was familiar to him. "Wait a damn minute,..." he scoffs, lifting it and reading the words. After a second of mentally absorbing the words, he runs a hand over his mouth and looks at you.

"This... this isn't from your 'boyfriend', is it?" He grabs his paper and holds them both in his hands as if comparing them.

"Well, I never agreed that he was exactly my boyfriend, but whatever," you murmur.

"So, ... you've seen 'him'?" He asks, his voice low.

".... Yes," you nod.

"What does he look like?"

"Jean, ..." You look to the side, gazing outside of your kitchen. "We have to find someplace else to talk about stuff like this."

He gives you a look and then follows your gaze. "What... you don't think he's here, do you?"

You shrug. "I never know," you turn to look back at him. "But we can't talk here." There were clearly questions floating around and boiling inside each other's heads, but you knew the answers would have to wait.

You stare down at your eggs, which are now... cold... and no longer look good.

You pick up a scoop with your fork and downturn your lips at it, "Great." You mutter. Jean shares the same sentiment as you and pushes his plate away.

"Sorry to the hungry," he murmurs to himself. "C'mon. Maybe we should go pick up some food and talk on the way." He stands and grabs his jacket. "You up for that?" He asks as he shrugs into it.

"I have to be," you sigh, running a hand down your face. "I promised Levi I would try to get in a car as often as I could. Just to get used to it again."

He nods, giving you a small smile before walking out. You get up and toss the eggs away before slipping on some slides and quickly following after him.

EREN'S POV

Nothing like sipping on a nice glass of whiskey, while watching your girl trying to piece her little clues together.

I've gotta hand it to Armin, it is... pleasing to see.

The way her eyebrows furrow, in whatever way, may it be in intense focus, anger, worry, fear... it's all so captivating. And the way she nibbles on her lip when she's in deep thought,... it just makes me want to do... very unholy things to her. Not that I think she's the religious type and would mind.

But... she might not be a big fan of me yet.

Still, ... the thought makes me smirk.

Because she will be. Religious or not.

And it'll be that much more pleasing when she's scrunching up her face and furrows her brows in pleasure. With pleasure, she won't know how to deal with, because she's never felt it before. That's what I can't wait for.

Because, honestly, vanilla was cute, making love was cute.

But sometimes, a girl needs to be fucked. And fucked rough.

Now you're probably wondering why the Hell two saps like me and Armin spend our time... doing what we do.

You're wondering how we even got to this point in our lives. To this point with her.

When we first saw her... she was actually still with her ex-boyfriend. Happy. Laughing. It was quite a sight to behold, even though she was hanging on to another man's arm. Such a sight, that it made both me and Armin stop and stare.

Yet at first, it didn't feel like it was us who stopped but rather...

The world.

And when I finally snapped out of it, I glanced towards Armin to find he, more or less, held the same expression as I.

Wasn't happy about it. So, as one would, of course, I quickly said, "Dibs."

You know, ... in case I ever had a chance to sweep her away from her beloved ex-boyfriend's grasp. Which, I was fully confident that I could.

This happened a week, maybe two, before he... passed.

Now, whether or not a God is sitting atop the clouds on his invisible throne... I felt,... I don't know,... lucky?

Is that the wrong word to say?

Don't get me wrong, if I could change the way things happened, I would've chosen for him to live. Of course, I'd still steal his girl...

But he'd be alive.

Assuming one could go on living after gaining and then losing someone like her.

And she wouldn't've been so miserable once she lost him.

Letting her grieve and try to move on was the only reason she's been... sort of left alone for the past year. Now, mind you, it wasn't until about halfway through, that me and Armin came to some semblance of an agreement.

Because if it wasn't for him, I'd probably make the brash decision to go right for her, despite her mental state at the time.

But now...

Now, not only is her ex-boyfriend out of the way... she's also getting back on her feet. And I'm so proud of her and grateful for the people in her life.

Now, she's gaining some of that spark back. That same spark that's been dimmed for far too long.

So, now...

We'll strike.

LilReaper_

Originally written 08.01.24

Published 08.01.24

total words; 1985

Shorter chapterrrr, but this is getting exciting, ehhhh??? EH?????? lmaoo love you guysss