riley doesn't like goodbyes ( pt. 4 )

hurt. pain. heartbreak.

that's all i felt. 

my siblings were heartbroken when they found out. silena cried for hours. now, she stared ahead. almost as if she was numb. 

theo tried to keep the rest of my siblings together, but he wasn't doing much better. aurora and i had seen the life leave cayden's eyes, and we were a mess. 

i tried hard to keep it together for my siblings, but it was hard. so much harder than what everyone said. every time i closed my eyes, i saw him. laying there in a pool of blood. the life leaving his eyes. he never got to finish his last words. they haunted me.

unfortunately, cayden wasn't the only half-blood that fell in battle. watching the flames from the shrouds of fallen demigods rise higher, i realized stiles stilinski was right.

'death doesn't happen to you. it happens to everyone around you, to all the people left standing at your funeral trying to figure out how they're going to lives the rest of their lives now without you in it.'

castor, one of the dionysus twins, died in battle. the twins were supposed to college. now pollux would have to live the rest of his life without his twin, his other half. sophia and lydia also felt their brother's death.

the apollo cabin would have to live without lee fletcher. he was the head counselor for the apollo cabin longer than i'd been at camp. he was their best archer. ran most of the classes. they'd have to get used to living without his advice.

the aphrodite cabin. we'd have to get used to living without cayden. 

cayden james miller. 

loved by all. he was the guy you would go to at three in the morning to rant to, to complain to, or just, sit with. he never complained about your problems, and he'd always help. if he couldn't help you with your problem, he'd help you feel better. not a single bad bone in his body. a kind soul. too good for this world. maybe that's why he left us all so early.

we watched the sparks fly higher and higher, taking our spirits away with them.

the next few days were spent treating the wounded.

nico recovered wonderfully. i let him rest for a little while heading out to watch grover's hearing. 

the council wanted to exile grover, but chiron persuaded them to wait a little. i arrived at the clearing a few minutes before it began.

i felt strangely detached, like i was watching everything in slow-motion, from a third person point of view. chiron says i'm just learning to cope.

i stood next to grover where juniper, annabeth and percy were already waiting.

"blah-ha," grover bleated. "riley, you made it!"

i plastered a small smile on my face, "wouldn't miss it for the world, goat-boy."

percy slipped his hand into mine and squeezed it. normally, i wasn't one to deal with pity, but i didn't care right not. at this moment, all i want is some stability. someone there for me.

and that was percy.

percy recounted what happened in the crystal cave, while annabeth and i nodded in assurance and filled in some facts he missed.

several eyewitnesses described the noise grover made that drove the titan's army away.

"it was panic," insisted juniper. "grover summoned the power of the wild god." 

i vaguely remembered a story of pan creating a horrible sound and driving away the enemies.

"panic?" percy asked. 

"percy," chiron explained, "during the first war of the gods and the titans, lord pan let forth a horrible cry that scared away the enemy armies. it is — it was his greatest power — a massive wave of fear that helped the gods win the day. the word panic is named after pan, you see. and grover used that power, calling it forth from within himself." 

"preposterous!" silenus bellowed. (a part of me wondered if he knew what that even meant). "sacrilege! perhaps the wild god favored us with a blessing. or perhaps grover's music was so awful it scared the enemy away!" 

"that wasn't it, sir," grover said. he sounded a lot calmer than i expected, and older. "he let his spirit pass into all of us. we must act. each of us must work to renew the wild, to protect what's left of it. we must spread the word. pan is dead. there is no one but us." 

"after two thousand years of searching, this is what you would have us believe?" silenus cried. "never! we must continue the search! exile the traitor!" 

some of the older satyrs muttered assent.

"a vote!" silenus demanded. "who would believe this ridiculous young satyr, anyway?" 

"i would," said an annoyingly familiar voice. 

i didn't turn around like the rest of the group. i already knew it was mr. d. he strode into the grove. the satyrs all bowed respectfully, but dionysus didn't care. he waved his hand and a throne of grapevines appeared next to them.

he sat down and snapped his fingers. a satyr rushed forward with diet coke and snacks.

the god of wine looked around at the assembled crowd who had fallen silent. "miss me?" 

the satyrs fell over themselves nodding and bowing. "oh, yes, very much, sire!" 

"well, i did not miss this place!" dionysus snapped. "i bear bad news, my friends. evil news. the minor gods are changing sides. morpheus has gone over to the enemy. hecate, janus, and nemesis, as well. zeus knows how many more." 

thunder rumbled in the distance. 

"strike that," dionysus said. "even zeus doesn't know. now, i want to hear grover's story. again, from the top." 

"but, my lord," silenus protested. "it's just nonsense!" 

dionysus's eyes flared with purple fire, and everyone took a step back. "i have just learned that my son castor is dead, silenus. i am not in a good mood. you would do well to humor me."

silenus gulped, and waved at grover to start again. 

when grover was done, mr. d nodded. "it sounds like just the sort of thing pan would do. grover is right. the search is tiresome. you must start thinking for yourselves." 

he turned to a satyr. "bring me some peeled grapes, right away!" 

"yes, sire!" the satyr scampered off. 

"we must exile the traitor!" silenus insisted. 

"i say no," dionysus countered. "that is my vote." 

"i vote no as well," chiron put in. 

silenus set his jaw stubbornly. "all in favor of the exile?" 

he and the two other old satyrs raised their hands. 

"three to two," silenus said. 

"ah, yes," dionysus said. "but unfortunately for you, a god's vote counts twice. and as i voted against, we are tied." 

i almost laughed (which was a big deal, because i didn't even feel like smiling). this was like watching two children fight.

silenus stood, indignant. "this is an outrage! the council cannot stand at an impasse." 

"then let it be dissolved!" mr. d said. "i don't care." 

silenus bowed stiffly, along with his two friends, and they left the grove. 

about twenty satyrs went with them. the rest stood around murmuring uncomfortably. 

"don't worry," grover told them. "we don't need the council to tell us what to do. we can figure it out ourselves." 

he told them again the words of pan — how they must save the wild a little at a time. he started dividing the satyrs into groups — which ones would go to the national parks, which ones would search out the last wild places, which ones would defend the parks in the big cities. 

"well," annabeth commented, her voice still a little hollow, "grover seems to be growing up."

i looked at nico.

we were going to go to the campfire, when nico pulled me aside and told me he's not staying.

"what do you mean, you're not staying?" i asked.

"this camp... it's not for me. i train with the dead," he explained.

"but nico... it's dangerous. you can't possibly look after yourself. especially since kronos knows who you are now."

"i have a plan," he assured me. "just trust me on this. please."

i pursed my lips. i didn't like this, not at all. after almost losing nico, i didn't want to let him out of my sight. i think cayden's death made me paranoid, but i had to give him the benefit of the doubt sometimes. and if anything, i'd be an iris-message away.

"okay," i said.

he smiled sadly at me, and i knew this was just as hard on him as it was for me.

"but..." i interjected, "you need me, anything, swing by. okay? i want you to show up at my place for at least five days and five nights a month. the longer, the better. i don't want you to sulk away."

he smiled, "i won't sulk. and i'll be there. besides, i want to meet your dad."

"oh gods. that's not gonna end well."

the rest of the summer went by pretty quickly.

annabeth and i had spent so much of our time going over daedalus' plans. it was incredible. there were so many plans, we were sure we would never get through them all.

the aphrodite siblings had all formed a tighter bond. cayden's death had affected everyone, and we all coped together. we cleaned his stuff, but left his bunk as it was, and carved his name into it.

cayden james miller: a friend, lover, brother, hero.

annabeth also got closer with a lot of my siblings, and they would share stories about the boy that was in all of our hearts.

percy and i had gotten better. i noticed how he never brought up rachel around me, and i wondered whether that was conscious decision or not. 

he had brought up the kronos/luke thing with me, but we didn't talk about it around annabeth. she was still a little shaken up about him.

i knew luke's ideals — wanting all the gods to pay attention to all of their kids — were good. the way he went about them — joining the titan army, and hosting kronos — that was wrong.

and it was the cause of cayden's death. 

i rubbed the new bead between my fingers. 

my seventh bead, an intricate design of the labyrinth. it was beautifully designed and represented the battle that took place.

i zipped up my final bag and took one last look at the cabin. a few of the year-rounders were lounging around, and saying their goodbyes.

theo smiled at me, and helped take my bags. i smiled back. cayden would be the one who used to do that.

we walked slowly up the hill where i saw happy. 

"hey happy," i waved to him

happy smiled at me, "hey kid. who's this?"

theo smiled and nodded, "theo badeaux. we're in the same cabin."

"oh, cool."

i turned back to look at camp. theo stood next to me.

"if you ever want to visit, feel free."

"what about m.i.t.?"

i shrugged, "i'm still continuing the fast-track thing from home. it's so much easier."

he nodded, "i miss him."

"we all do. but he made it to elysium. nico told me. he's happier now."

theo smiled, "until next year, ma sœur."

i laughed a little, "until next year, mon frère."

"ready to go kid?" happy asked.

i pursed my lips as i watched theo walk down the hill, "one more person i gotta say goodbye to."

i followed the mop of raven hair and arrived in front of percy, "hey seaweed brain."

he smiled, "hey tink."

percy was a little bummed i wouldn't be going till manhattan with him. happy came to pick me up every year.

"and besides, my dad's a little crazy. i have to make sure he doesn't do something self-destructive."

"yeah, well, call me. okay?" 

"i will, perce," i assured. "and i'll keep my eyes open for lu — kronos, and the army."

"riley," he said after a few moments, "what was the last line of the prophecy?"

i closed my eyes. there it was. the question i knew he was going to ask. i knew he needed an answer. he deserved that much.

"you shall delve in the darkness of the endless maze. the dead, the traitor, the lost one raise. you shall rise or fall by the ghost king's hand. child of athena's final stand. earth's rage shall separate them from all. the traitor will help the crown and take the fall. destroy with a hero's final breath..."

percy waited.

"and lose a love to worse than death."

"oh," percy's voice was small.

"i'm sorry. i should've told you before, but i couldn't. it was..."

i was cut off by a shimmer next to me.

"you have nothing to apologize for, my dear." standing on the hill was a tall woman in a white dress, her dark hair braided over her shoulder. 

"hera?" i said in disbelief. 

the goddess smiled. "you found the answers, as i knew you would. your quest was a success." 

"a success?" i repeated. "tell me, how is this a fucking success. luke is gone. cayden is — my brother is dead. daedalus is dead. pan is dead—" 

"our family is safe," hera insisted. "those others are better gone, my dear. i am proud of you." 

i raised an unamused eyebrow. "cayden is my family!"

"you're the one who paid geryon to let us through the ranch, weren't you?" percy accused.

hera shrugged. her dress shimmered in rainbow colors. "i wanted to speed you on your way." 

"but you didn't care about nico. you were happy to see him turned over to the titans." 

"oh, please." hera waved her hand dismissively. "the son of hades said it himself. no one wants him around. he does not belong."  

"oh fuck off," i scoffed. "nico is basically my child. he belongs. it's just you and your stupid beliefs that can—"

"hephaestus was right," percy cut me off. "you only care about perfect families, not real people."

her eyes turned dangerously bright. "watch yourself, son of poseidon. i guided you more than you know in the maze. i was at your side when you faced geryon. i let your arrow fly straight. i sent you to calypso's island. i opened the way to the titan's mountain. riley, my dear, surely you see how i've helped. i would welcome a sacrifice for my efforts."

as soon as she mentioned she was the one who sent percy to calypso's island, my jaw clenched. i had my doubts, but this was proof.

"percy is right." i curled my lip at the goddess. "you're the one who doesn't belong, queen hera. so next time, thanks... but no thanks." 

hera's form began to glow. "you will regret this insult, riley. you will regret this very much." 

i averted my eyes as the goddess turned into her true divine form and disappeared in a blaze of light. 

the hilltop was peaceful again. over at the pine tree, peleus the dragon dozed under the golden fleece as if nothing had happened. 

"i'm sorry," i bit my lip. "i — i should get back. i'll keep in touch." 

"listen, riley—"

whatever he was going to say was cut off by argus honking his horn.

"you better go perce. he doesn't like waiting."

and with one last look, i turned around and trudged back to the car.

𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅 '𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐁𝐘𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐇'

𝐑𝐈𝐋𝐄𝐘 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍

REY WRITES !

thanks for reading!

i will be posting a story called 'love, cayden' in a week or so. it's in the form of letters, but there will be some real life. comment if you want a dt !!

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