Hey guys! It's your girl here! If we haven't met already.... Hi! How are you? My name is Rylee but you can call me Ryles if you would like. Long time no see everybody! Anyways today I wanted to talk to you guys abou something I have been going through lately. Toxic Family Drama... Not fun. Nope. Not one bit. You see I have never been one to have liked drama. Drama always keeps with negativity and all kinds of stuff. If anything I'm more of a peacekeeper in my family and friend group. I would give uplifting talks to my friends when they needed it. For the most part I was that one friend everyone would come to, to get advice or be 'counseled.' And many people told me I was good at it too.

So with everything I already have to deal with I try to stay far away from drama as I possibly can. I made sure to surround myself with very good friends and if it was needed I would settle things between friends as the peacekeeper. I dealt with plenty of drama from friends and family and everything just worked out fine. Never would I ever thought that just by finding family and letting them back into my life again that there would be so much toxicity with it. Okay, like I said I've had my fair shares of family drama. My family wasn't perfect but we still loved each other no matter what happened.

So a few years ago after my mother married my step dad something amazing happened to our family. You see for the longest time my mom's father was her step dad. He took her in as his own and raised her even when her dad at the time didn't want to and couldn't either for a lot of reasons. My mom even thought at one point in life that my grandpa was her birth father. Well she thought that until her older brother Jeff told her the truth. Jeff was my uncle, my mom's older brother, and my papaw's first child.

Even though they may not have been related by blood they were still related by marriage. They were all still family who loved and cared for each other. And my papaw loved my mom as his own daughter even today. He even loves me and my sister like his actual grandchildren. And to be honest we kind of are. Once he married my grandma and took my mom as his own kid, he agreed to take everything else that came with them. And that includes me and my little sister Haley after a few years.

So when my mom found her birth father you can imagine how he must have felt. When I was fourteen my mother found her birth father on facebook and they reconnected. This all took place not so long after my mother married my step dad. Of course my papaw was a little bit sad after all he did raise her. But at some point in life if you have a kid who wishes to meet one parent or even both, they just might try to reach out to them. It's only natural to be curious.

Not long after this my mom's birth father came down. He came down with his wife, and two family members. They drove all the way down just to meet my mom, my step dad, me and my little sister. I remember the day it happened too. It felt kind of weird welcoming these strangers into my life. That day we just ate, talked, and hung out. Soon after that we decided to get to know each other more. And as soon as I knew it I was meeting other family members.
Not long after this first meeting my family took a road trip to meet my mom's other siblings. She had three other siblings, 1 sister and two brothers. So we met up with everyone at a dairy queen where my aunt was working during this time. And we met my cousin Aubree, my uncle Larry and Robert, and Aunt Tasha. And we took pictures and we even sat down and ordered some ice cream. We all talked and everything looked like it would be just fine.

As soon as we knew we had started making trips to visit each other. We started staying the night on some visits, going down to visit for Christmas. We had lots of fun. Me, Haley, and my cousin Aubree even once stayed up watching tv and talking. But that didn't last very long sadly. You see my Uncle Robert's wife won't let anyone punish Aubree for anything. Even if it would help shape her into a better person. She won't let anyone ground her and would let her get anyway with horrible stuff. Stuff that no one at her age should be doing.

My uncle Robert thinks it would be good to ground Aubree but his wife didn't. And she would always get Aubree out of trouble. She would rather be a friend to her own daughter than a mother. Don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with having a great relationship with your children but you shouldn't be their friend and let them get away with something that might end up hurting them in the future.
His wife caused a lot of drama and truth be told his mother didn't actually like her. But she would try to please both of them because she didn't want to lose her son at all. So she did what she could to keep his wife happy. Just as long as she didn't have to worry about losing her son. As you can imagine this causes a lot of trouble and drama. Any time my mom or step dad tried to express worry or corecen.

One time when my parents tried to express their concern about one of my cousins being out at night past midnight on the streets they got yelled out. They were just worried about my cousin because they know just how dangerous it is for anyone to be out too late at night. Any can happen late at night, you can be kidnapped and more in the world we live in today if we're not careful and fully aware of our surroundings.

Then there was all the yelling and threats we got. Threats against my step dad from my Pepaw. Yelling and screaming. Once whenever I had a autistic breakdown while visiting my parents were trying to help me calm down and stop crying. These usually happen due to me getting stressed, overly emotional, feel like nobody is listening to me and a few other reasons. My Memaw's suggestion to make me stop was to drag me into the shower and turn on the cold water.

Of course my parents didn't agree with type of parenting she had for me. More specifically my mom. She told me I would more likely be tramized than anything. And I agree if I was having a metal down and someone put me under cold water in the shower I would flip my lid. Personally I think that would make things worse. Anything involving violence or weird and usual punishments freak me out and don't help my anxiety.

And my mom's side of the family kept up with this act. They would throw shade at family and friends on Facebook, start fights, point fingers and assume things that aren't true. Putting things in social media that shouldn't be there and be handled with in the family. Eventually it got to the point where we had to cut our family off from our lives a together. No going back to vists, no texting or calling, no following each other on social media. We were done with all the abuse, fights, yelling, and more. I was done.

Everything they did to me and my family was so emotionally draining. They hurt us in more ways than one. Sometimes I wonder why they even welcomed us into the family when they were going to treat us like this all along. No inviting us, threatening us, yelling, and getting onto to us when we were just trying to express corcen. Did they even care? Even if they all never did thought that's alright because I was blessed with my Papaw.

He stepped in and raised my mother as his own and took me and my sister in as his very own grandchildren. He has always been there for me and is a big reason why I love Jesus Christ so much. It was all because of everything he did for me, my sister, my mom, and my grandmother. He wanted us in his life. He loved and cared for us. He was there when my mom's real father and his family wasn't there. And he supported us through all this abuse from my mom's real dad's family.

I know I have a family, friends and a God who cares about me. I also have been blessed with everyone here. My readers, you guys, the SGC girls. Everyone of you guys have been my rock to lean on when I needed you guys the most. At my weakest points you guys lift me back up again and encouraged me. Even when some people left me, used me, and even abused me. In the end I still managed to meet many wonderful people and make tons of awesome new friends!

And thanks to all of you guys I'm in a better place. I'm working on becoming a better person, a better writer, a better sister, daughter, friend and follower everyday. If you find yourself in a situation like this like me and my family did, don't let these toxic people be in your life any longer. Even if they are family. Sometimes you have to cut people out of your life when they are becoming way too toxic for you. Even if they are a friend you had forever or maybe if they're family.

No matter what that person is to you. There should be no excuse for them treating you like the way my mom's birth father and his family treated us. You shouldn't have to deal with that. And you should remember you're value and know you deserve to be treated with respect. And that includes family as well and if they can't do that then you just might have to cut then off. Hope and pray that they will grow, learn, and change. But until then take care of yourself. Know that nobody should treat you like that and don't stand for it when somebody treats you this way.

Even family or friends don't have a good excuse to treat you this way no matter what. You matter and nobody should be making you feel like you're not otherwise. That's includes all the people close to you in your life. Know that you deserve respect just like anyone else.

midnightdeadroses 💖

P.S. Hey guys! I know it's been awhile since I last posted but here's something that goes over toxicity in families. I hope this helps some of you guys. 💞 I also hope you guys enjoyed reading this like always. I love you all and remember to stay strong. More posts from me heading your way soon. 💖💖💖