TW: graphic violence may not be suitable for readers

song
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⇝I can't handle change by roar

~past~

I CURL AROUND MY PILLOWS making them protectors of the upcoming war. My wide eyes scream as shadows of the villains appear laughing cruelly.

They disabled me physically as the drug stimulated my body making me see everything in a hazy. I have to repeatedly shake my head to focus on the current situation.

"Please let me go." I slur while their evil laughter rises higher.

They were ready to play the cat and mouse game with me. I wiggle as soon as one of them caught hold of my ankle trying to pull me down. I thrash around, my eyes water and I have to continuously blink to clear my path.

I find the nearest object and throw it at him. He screams in pain stumbling back.

No, it isn't happening for a few minutes. It was going on for several minutes, the game of run and catch. My arms are drenched in marks of theirs when I escaped from their clutches, rewarding me with their evidence.

"Leave me." I drag my body steadily to at least run. For now, the poison has spread leaving my brain dead as it occurred to submit to them but I won't.

Taking the cue to distraction I run from the dark room. Sounds of plates crashing were heard but my hands searched for an escape route. I pass by a row of knives and quickly get picked up two of them.

"Where is that bitch?" One of them yells. I had to drench my face in the water to remove any dizziness from my face. I quickly settle behind the drawers of the kitchen listening carefully to the sounds of footsteps and voices.

"I am sure Ivanovs would have been happy to get a new pet for them." Another sneer as they practically devote their mind to merciless scenes.

No, I shake my head. I may be a teen but I am worth enough to decide whom to spend my life or fuck not that bitch, Rebecca. I want to snort but keep my head down crawling slowly to the other side of the drawers.

I am on my four limbs eyeing the outside place to search for any prey of mine. The knives are placed near me so that any sudden move and I am ready.

"Found you." I jump slightly as the one lifts my right ankle pulling me as I slide on the broken pieces I threw earlier. I wince crying loudly grabbing the knives tightly in my hand.

"The dose will work fully within a few minutes. Maybe ten minutes." My breaths heave up and down. So, that's why they were playing with me to detach any remains of energy I have.

I smirk twisting my body partially towards the right side and arching my hips upward as I lift myself to cut off his hand from my ankle. Another scream, another list of voices scheming in my dreams.

My body is knitted in red blotches of blood staining everywhere. I scream when someone pulls my hair back trying to adjust his cock in my mouth. I gag smelling the uncircumcised meat.

I roll the knife on my left hand as I cut off the dangling shit. "Maybe it's a better way to die." I mumble stabbing the fallen body's chest and pull out, "By fighting."

There are eight of them who thought of having a gangbang and I succeeded in killing only three of them. I was saved by a certain someone who at that moment found me naked.

I dream of dying, their hands...

They were dirty.

Too dirty.

Like black paint lapping my skin and I hate it.

I hate their hands.

"Caterina." My eyes open immediately as I scan the area of the source who called me.

"It's me." I turn back to find Aristide with his hand curled around my waist pulling me into his warm embrace.

What the fuck!

I quickly detach myself from him and sit on the bed.

"Are you okay?" I close my eyes cussing the godfathers of dreams.

"Did I utter something?" I mumble.

"No, you didn't but you were sweating a lot and you did scratch my arms." I look to the other side where his arms are locked and indeed find my given marks.

"Shit." I close my eyes releasing a sigh.

"Are you okay?" Okay? I chuckle lifting myself from the bed as I walk slowly to his wardrobe pulling out a random shirt to wear. I am not that feminine to walk naked around.

"I am," I grumble.

"I want to ask you something." He mumbles back.

I sigh rolling the sleeves to make it a quarter. "Ask away."

"You don't have tattoos." Well, that wasn't a question I was prepared for. I turn to look at him and his eyes are trained on my movements. When he finds out that I am looking at him, he quickly looks down fidgeting his fingers.

I hum in response. "Yes, I don't. Why?"

He shrugs, "Well, most of the mafia people wear tattoos. Signs, symbols or confirmation of belonging to a particular kingdom of the underworld."

"You are right. We have tattoos to showcase the rightful owner or maybe a sight to hide a particular scene but that's not what I like in my skin. I like them clean, shaved, and properly taken care of."

"So, you don't hide your scars?" He fumbles while saying. I sigh again.

"No, Aristide. I don't. Why will I hide them behind some pieces of art just because I am ashamed of the old marks? I am not those people who are embarrassed to show their marks, bruises, or scars. Instead, I am proud of them. They show the world that I am no such goner of humanity, I still am a human that was born to die. I wore my marks like jewelry to show my people that I too am a survivor. "

His black eyes zoom like a wild cat trying to pursue the number of words I exposed to him. Yes, I never liked tattoos and if I ever pierce my skin to absorb the inks it will be on my free mind not a forceful act of showdown. I slowly walk towards him.

"You tell as if you were a victim of the night." He whispers as he traces the outline of a scar that I got from a cigarette burn, a story for another time.

I smile with no emotion as I grab my phone from the bedside table and tucked it in my pocket. I walk inside the bathroom to retrieve a first aid box.

I walk toward him ordering him to sit on the bed while I kneel wrapping the bandage around the skin after putting the given ointment.

"We need to go shopping," I mutter.

"What's your favorite color?" I ask meanwhile searching for my panties.

"Ouch! It's too tight and to answer your question it's black." That's what I thought.

"What's yours?" He asks.

My eyes automatically look to the other side where the windows part open letting the peaceful nature welcome and calm me.

"Green," I whisper smiling slightly.

"Woah." The trance of thoughts snaps and I look at him while he watches my lips.

"What?" I ask irritatingly when suddenly my eyes land on the discarded flimsy material. Immediately, I snatch the undergarments wearing them inside.

"You have got a dimple." He awes.

My heart thumps loudly. No one ever told nor appreciated small things visible outside but now when I suddenly got compliments from certain someone my cheeks burn.

"A-are you b-blushing, Caterina?" My blush intensifies so I quickly turn back coughing slightly.

"No." I quickly reply rushing to the door before any non-romance sprout out but I did recognize his laughter.

That second my cold heart beat the fastest.

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"Violette, why aren't you studying?" I squint my eyes trying to make a proper knot of the black tie I am wearing matching the black suit.

Meanwhile, Vittoria cutely munches her food which is her mother-made cookies. When she attempts to take another one, I quickly pull back the jar and glared at her.

"How many did you take?" Her pout doesn't have any effect on me however her unshed tears do and she knows.

"Tell me, baby." I sigh sitting beside her. I lift her allowing her tiny body to sit on my lap.

"Belle, you won't scold me, right?" I shake my head innocently. Her little fingers slowly put up from her fist as she counts the numbers she ate.

"Bella?"

I hum opening the rubberband from her pigtails and neatly tying them.

"I ate twenty." My eyes bulge out. Putting it aside how adorable the sound produced when she says meekly.

"Twenty? Baby, that's bad for health and you know it." I scold her lightly. Her lips quiver as she slowly turns her head partially, and her eyes widen warning me about the waterworks process.

I kiss her nose, "Fine. I won't say but for three weeks you will not have any sweets and tell your momma to give you a glass of bitter gourd juice."

Her pupils widen and she roughly shakes her head in denial. One laser beam glare dejectedly nods her head.

"Fine." I smile proudly and slowly put her on the floor. She whines trying to take her previous seat while I laugh. I rub my pants to remove any creases and stand.

"You are so tall, Bella. Lift me. Live me. Lift me."

I act like I am thinking but smile slightly, "Only if you ask me why aren't you at the study table? Your homeschool teacher didn't arrive?"

She shakes her head, "No, he didn't. Said that today he is not feeling well." I made an okay sign in the air making her giggle.

"Now lift me." She demands and I oblige.

She smiles giggling slightly now that she could tower over me. She puts her hands on her hips and with pride says, " Now, I am tall." I chuckle carrying my briefcase along with me.

"Where are you going, Bella?" She asks me.

"To my office."

"Office?" She asks in wonder. I nod my head. My heart softens only for this creature and I am glad that she allowed me to stay in her life.

"What do you do?" Whenever I went out of the office, she was never there and on weekend I have to be somewhere else that we both know.

"Make jewelry and approve the sketches of the other participants." I am the head so, of course, I have to investigate certain matters and I am glad as it's the biggest distraction I have.

"Oh. Wow." She claps her hand and kisses both my cheeks making my smile widen.

"Vit-" Bianca stops when she sees us bearing towards the kitchen. Vittoria gave her the jar and I lied that I ate them knowing fully Bianca knows who is the actual culprit.

"Bella." I hum eating my breakfast while she sits on my lap.

"Can I come too?" I mid-pause and turn to look at her.

"No." I immediately respond.

"Yes, you can't. You need to study. Go and study." Bianca speaks.

Vittoria looks both at us with tears trailing down her eyes, "I know why you both don't want me to go out."

"No, not what you are thinking baby." I try to coo her.

She wiggles freeing herself from my clasp and runs away shouting the words as they stab me, "I am different and different people are never good. I am bad."

"Vitto-"

"Capo, you need to go. Your upcoming project is coming. Xavier informed me to tell you that you are needed for the presence."

"But-" I persist.

She shakes her head smiling sadly, "We both know the only anger she has is against me and now if you go she will say those things you will never be able to control and I know you may not act as your care but deep down we all know the affection runs deep down."

I sigh, "Fine. But do notify me about her state."

She nods her head bowing slightly, "Will do, capo."

↓

Do you know what the best part of being a leader is?

The sense of power floating around you. Their kneeling position allows me to be the queen they choose to offer their life for.

Either to secure or kill.

I walk past their offerings to me like children praying to God, I feel like I am the God.

"When is the next consignment?" Someone asks across the corner of the large table held for communication.

"Soon," I reply waving them to sit down after I sit in my respected position.

"Are you really that valid to be the leader?" The nagging voices finally arrive. That's what I was waiting for.

I squint my eyes at the young man who attempted to broaden his chest and look at me with fierce competition.

I smirk, "Yes. I am. Why?"

He shrugs, "It's laughable to look at women nowadays. Sitting on those positions only allowed for men." I quickly get up from my seat and look down but find nothing.

I thumb down. "There's nothing. No name of the fucker whom you were taking side for."

The crowd vibrated in cough as a way of hiding their laugh but Xavier didn't either do Carlos. They laugh mocking the young gen Z.

Being insulated was what Rebecca taught me and the tremendous hate after that was the process of turning off the modesty and switching on the self-conscious mode and that's what the young man felt.

He punches his fist on the table and the room turned silent. "You are insulting me."

I shrug, "The next consignment includes ten new brand rifles and fifteen guns. The one with the highest bidding proposition will get them. Xavier, handle the matter." I get up from my position and walked to the end of the room.

"So, now the so-called leader escapes from her responsibilities, huh?" I roll my eyes turning back.

"So, according to you who should be considered as the owner of the seat?"

Without missing any beat, he replies. "Carlos."

"Rubbish. I don't wish to." Carlos shouts. I pause him with my hand raised in the air.

"Even if he wants to, he will come and talk to me." I calmly reply.

The youngster laughs coldly. "Why? Afraid of your friend to defeat you?" My fist tightened.

My heels click on the floor as I cover up the distance he and I had. "What do you want?"

He smirks, "A share of my own. Power."

"You want something that you too know you can't handle."

"Can you?" He snorts. Without any waste of time, I bang his face straight on the desk, the same surface he punched.

"I can. I have been proving my worth since birth. My worth isn't measured by my gender you fucker." I lift his head tugging hard his hair only to bang it again and again.

Once my heart and soul got satisfied, I pulled back not at all grimacing at the look he now has.

"And if the time comes to prove to my friends the owner of being the leader, I will again do it." I sneer throwing the body on the floor.

"Bow like you are allowed to in front of your queen." My voice roared creating thunderstorms in the bright night.

He shivers bowing his head, "My queen. I apologize."

Carlos and Xavier are my protectors. They swore the day they chose to be in my world but if greed gets them to be against me, I will fight.

Just how I always do.

↓

I sigh closing the door of my house and striding towards the kitchen room. Seven pieces of unique jewelry had to be made just for a shitty wedding.

Crafting different sizes of diamonds to fix on different slots is kind of tiring but at the same time, it's remarkable. It makes me feel that I am just a normal human like my customers.

"Hello, capo." I nod my head in acknowledgment.

"Did Vittoria do anything?" I ask in concern.

She laughs shaking her head. "No, instead she was asking about your whereabouts. She loves you more than." She trails off embarrassed to end her sentence.

"No, Bianca. She loves you more."

"No, I can see and I know. The moment when I didn't accept her thinking she was a burden in my life, you step ahead and handle her with care while I watched. I watched Caterina. Being a mother I am ashamed of the late realization about what the role and bond between the mother and her child are."

I smile hugging her, "It's okay. By the way, is she still awake?"

She nods her head wiping her tears away. "You freshen up and I will place your dinner."

I nod my head, "Aristide's updates?"

She shakes her head, "Same routine. Ate, bath, and a walk around the garden but it seems he is always in the garden."

I hum, "Where is he right now?"

"Behind you." The male voice speaks behind me.

I turn back, "Well didn't your mother teach you not to eavesdrop?"

"Not when the matter is about me."

"Did your dick got activated?" I remark making him stop his rude attempt at snarling.

"By the way, your mother is shifted to a nearby hotel so that after a proper tale care of her health she will be sent off. You can go and visit her. Ask Christian, he booked the hotel."

His eyes widen, "Thank you." He stutters while saying. I wave my hand in denial of his grateful words.

"I am going to freshen up and you prepare my dinner," I tell Bianca and walk away from Aristide.

I change my dress and walk to Vittoria's room, knocking it twice to announce my arrival.

"Hey, baby," I whisper afraid I might wake her up.

Her tiny face looks up. Her eyes brightens as they watched me approach.

"Hi, Bella." I smile sitting down on her fluffy bed.

"I am sorry." We both say at the same time and giggle.

"I shouldn't have said that." She mutters crawling towards my lap and sitting.

I lift her trudging in front of the mirror to take a comb and regain the previous seat.

"Me too baby. And I am sorry. I am not ashamed of the skin color you have. It makes you different, you are unique baby. Trust me."

"But I have vitiligo and no one in my school liked me not even teachers." That's why the school is officially shut down.

"It's vitiligo baby and it's their loss to not admit such an intelligent girl and a beautiful girl with a pure heart."

"Really?" She partially turns her head as I comb her hair softly.

"Yes." I nod my head kissing her forehead.

"I am beautiful?" She stutters as if afraid the word is made of glass to break her apart.

"The most beautiful girl in the universe." Her beautiful giggle erupts and the once-silent room is filled with her purity. I smile back at her.

Someone coughs from behind me breaking any imaginary thoughts, "Do you need to make your presence like this?"

"Well, Bianca told me to call you since you are late." I roll my eyes knowing he can't see me.

"I am coming."

"Okay, good night."

"Good night A," Vittoria shouted.

"Good night V."

Vittoria looks at me with her two brows raised, "Bella you too say."

I cough awkwardly, "He didn't say to me."

"I did." He replies. I glare at him as he looks at me with a smug face.

"Bad night, pet." I smile sweetly at him.

"He is not a pet," Vittoria argues.

"You are correct. I am not." Aristide again interferes.

"Fine. Have the worst night, Leone." I grit out the words throwing daggers from my eyes.

He winks at Vittoria who blushes and giggles. Men effect #1.

"Good night, mon doux monstre."

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okay, I guess that's enough for today. I had to write more than I thought. However, if you are interested in watching reels related to my books or other novels📖 .

I do love the pure relationship between Vittoria and Caterina. The way she appears so humane in front of the lil girl has my heart.