008. FROM THE SHADOWS

   "We've received accounts of First Army units found massacred here, here, and here." Nikolai gestured to the map draped across a round table up on the second level of the sanctuary they currently resided in for now. It was just the four of them devising plans, Nikolai, Alina, Mal and Mischa.

   "It's too far from the border to be Shu incursions."

   "Or Fjerdan."

   "There's good evidence these units were holding Grisha captive." Nikolai straightened his posture, eyes glancing between Alina and Mischa. Alina, he knew would be effected by the news because she was Grisha herself, but he also knew it would impact Mischa just as hard as if she were one herself. "Some reports say soldiers were mutilated. Some cut in half."

   Mischa's lips pressed it get her tightly as she crossed her arms over her chest. "It's Kirigan, isn't it?"

   "Well, we haven't been able to find his base camp, but —"

   "There's no way he survived the Fold." Mal muttered mostly to himself in denial.

   "He survived it before." Mischa stated, a distant look in her eyes that revealed she knew almost everything about him. "Besides, he's the only one who can do the Cut. Baghra, yes, but this is him."

  "Well, if he is alive, it's only a matter of time before word will reach him about your attempt in the Fold." Nikolai addressed the Sun Summoner.

   Alina rolled her eyes. "Attempt."

   "No disrespect meant." Nikolai clarified in an apologetic tone.

   Alina sighed heavily, upset with herself. "No, you're right. That's what it was. An attempt. You guys saw my light. It was strong and angry and dangerously off-kilter. I can train to master what I have, but I'm afraid it won't be enough."

   "We need to find the third amplifier." Mal nodded in understanding to where she was getting at.

   Nikolai paused, glancing at Mal. "Firebird." The Navigator nodded in confirmation and a thinking expression crossed the prince's face as he turned his back to them and leant against the wooden railing that overlooked the grand room of the Palace.

   Mischa swallowed thickly before parting her lips to speak, unaware her voice gave the Prince a new idea, one she was likely to despise. "The more we search for it, we are at the mercy of your protection in this country. Saints, knows how many people want Alina's and I's heads on a spike."

   "Well, until then, a proposal." Nikolai faced the assassin with an imaginary light bulb over his head. Nikolai glanced over to her other two friends. "We can try to stop this country from falling apart and tell the Fjerdans to shove their bounty up their ass in the process."

   "I like you're thinking, pirate." One corner of Mischa's lips lifted up into a small smirk, teasing the man slightly with a title she knew he hated. She was suddenly interested in his idea. "How do you propose we do that?"

   Mischa began to get a bad feeling when his eyes only fixated on her and her alone.

   "I bring you under the hang of the Royal Family, my name becomes a shelter to you, meaning shelter for Alina, and a banner under which we can enact change."

   "Your name?" Mal questioned first, having a clue of what he meant but dreading the actual words to be spoken in the air. Nikolai nodded slowly.

   Mischa shared his slight confusion.

   Alina began to understand as her jaw slacked open and her eyes grew a little bigger. "Wait. This is a 'proposal' proposal, To Mischa."

   Mischa now understood and her smirk fell into a deep scowl as if she were insulted. "You're suggesting marriage?! Between you and I?!"

   "I'm not proposing a love match." Nikolai quickly urged to ease her worries and anger from skyrocketing. "Just a political alliance of Grisha and otkazat'sya." His gazed was filled with sincerity but Mischa was so conflicted she could bare to lay her eyes in him anymore, and they now looked at the floor.

   Mal suddenly became protective of his friend. "Well, that's just what royal marriages are, aren't they? Strategy."

   "Precisely." Nikolai agreed, glancing at him for a second before his eyes quickly went back to Mischa. "Maybe we never get to marriage. An engagement signals a strong commitment to cooperation and it will allow us to enact meaningful change for Grisha and Ravka." Nikolai backed up his idea with genuineness.

   Mischa scoffed lightly under her breath. This was ridiculous. Marriage, her? Mischa had never wanted to marry or start a family life. Ravka and being a solider was all that was meaningful to her and dedicating her life to it was her plan. Even the prospect of engagement disgusted her fully, it meaning marrying would be a possibility if it came down to it.

   Nikolai sensed her diversion to his idea and frowned as his voice lowered so he was only speaking to her and not her other two friends in the room.

   "I understand if you decline, but I hope you weigh the options and consider the benefits." The blond Prince silently nodded goodbye to Mal and Alina, giving one last glance to Mischa who avoided his direct eyesight before the Prince walked away, leaving the three alone.

   Basically, if she didn't go through with this, Ravka was doomed and they would all be wiped out by Kirigan soon. And once again, Ravka's fate resided on Mischa's shoulders, a heavy burden to carry all alone.

   Mischa felt Nikolai was putting her loyalty to Ravka in the question. When she is in her right mind, she will realize that was not his intention. Ravka was the reason she still breathed and walked the earth, to keep the country standing on its feet and prosper.

   Mischa's eyes lifted up from the floor once he was gone and to her two friends who looked at each other with a silent conversation just in their eyes.

   "He's... He's completely insane. Marriage? Like I'm some kind of pawn."

   "I'm surprised he walked out of here without you breaking his nose." Mal mused quietly, though he knew it wasn't the time for jests.

   "He does have a point." Alina spoke up, earning an incredulous look from her friend. When Mischa looked to Mal to see if he agreed, he never met her eyes and that was her answer. He did agree with his Saint. "This could be just we need to enact change to take down the Fold and Kirigan, unburdened and free to do as we like. We won't have to look over our shoulders or fear someone will lock us up, Mischa."

   Mischa's eyes narrowed accusingly on Alina. "What, you suppose promising my hand in a royal marriage is an... opportunity?" She couldn't believe the words that left Alina's lips. Although, they were the right words.

   "I have never seen you as something to use in a bargain and you know it." Alina stepped closer to her friend with sincerity glittering in her irises. "You've done everything to protect me, to protect Ravka, to fight to take down Kirigan, I shouldn't ask anything of you. It's your choice. Just... at least think on it. Don't decide on anything without weighing all the options."

   Mischa glanced between her and Mal. It was clear the hidden unspoken feelings between them, the clear passion and tension burning through the air whenever their in the same room together. Many said you've never experienced love like the art of loving another so fiercely. It was clear that was true for her two friends.

   Mischa retired to the quarters gifted to her after that as night dawned on them and the moon lit the dark starry sky. She changed into sleeping garments which was just the white tunic and she wore under her previous attire.

   For some reason, sleep could not come to her and she found herself sitting in a chair with a window wide open so she could look out to the night sky with stars reflecting of her irises. The nigh sky was so peaceful, it was often where Mischa found herself looking at when she need to think something through or calm herself down. It was so beautiful, how could you not come crawling to it when it appeared?

   The stars were their own lights and the one lit candle sitting beside her on the table gave no light such as extravagant and fierce as the stars. It was the only source of night she needed as she twirled her dark locks of hair that cascading down her back in rippling waves between her fingers.

   The sky showed her one thing she always needed to hear.

   Where there is darkness, there is light. Wether it to be to show you the pathway, or the light that is so hidden by the darkness you cannot see it, but nevertheless, still there. Perhaps it had a deeper meaning than that, but that's how she interpreted it.

   A shiver ran down her spine and goosebumps formed on the exposed skin on her arms when a harsh cold wind entered from the open window and went her way.

   The flame on the candle beside her went out and her attention turned to it in confusion. The small light was gone. As she looked back out to the sky that gave her peace, she was met with pure darkness, the stars dying out and the light vanishing with them. The light was completely gone.

   As she stood to her feet, the darkness began to pour into the room from the window and encompass the walls surrounding her until she turned around and she was no longer in her quarters in the Spinning Wheel.

   She stood in the center of a study with a large fire place and the orange flames dancing in there lit the room up, besides the corners where the shadows remained and watched.

   Mischa would never be able to prepare herself that by the desk where books littered the surface of it in the study would be the man she wanted to kill by her own hands, the only man to betray her and hurt her greatly.

   Kirigan leaned against his desk, body facing her but chin to his chest and one hand pulled with it. He hadn't noticed her presence yet.

   Mischa tried pinching herself, believing she was in a dream of her own making. Yet, as she racked her memories of the Darkling, this study, with them in it never came up. She glanced down at her attire to see her still in her white sleeping garments.

   As fear began to creep up on her, she took a step back and accidentally stepped on the crease of an open book , probably having been thrown, on the ground, squished under her bare foot. The noise had alerted the man with his head down and as he slowly lifted it, her lips fell in horror at the three long black starches across his face, sensing the tendrils of darkness that seemed from the permanent cracks that made her skin crawl, although to the naked eye.

   His expression stilled as if a video being put on pause and Mischs began to fear a storm was brewing and it all lurked in his eyes.

   "Mischa.... it seems you have found me before I you." His voice only brought back nightmares, and with his eyes on her, this didn't feel like a dream or another nightmare of a memory brought up, she felt like she really stood in front of him.

   Kirigan stood straighter, forgetting about the desk to support his weight as his curious gaze never left her. "This was not how I pictured our reunion to happen."

   "I never pictured it happening at all." Mischa voiced her thoughts in a timid and frail tone that she never expected to leave her body. The voice was so unlike her and felt foreign when it left her lips. She had pictured this moment from the time she found out he was still alive after being left in the Fold and being attacked by his own creations, never imagining to appear so weak. "I can't say I've missed our talks, Heretic."

   "Ah, yes, my old alias. Names follow you wherever you go, it seems." Kirigan spoke as if they were old friends or he was giving advice. "Like Black Bird — although, I hear you no longer go by that anymore. It's a waste, it's a great name. A name that makes people shake in fear and cower."

   "What's so great about being feared?" The brunette questioned with narrowed eyes on the man who simply tilted his head at the question obviously not meant for him to answer. "Rather than to be loved?"

   "Whichever gives the most power I assume." Kirigan shrugged nonchalantly. "And in this case, fear is power. The underlying power at your fingertips that give you an upper edge to the world."

   "Because everything to you is about power, isn't it?" Again, a question not for him to answer, but for her to make her point. "That's all you want. Power. It doesn't matter who you hurt, deceive or betray, as long as you get the only thing you want; Power in all things."

   "I thought you would see that by now, Little Bird. Have I truly taught you nothing? It seems I failed as a mentor, but, don't worry I have much time to make up for it." Seeing her confused glance, he sauntered a couple steps closer with a slight daunting smirk. "Ravka is in need to refurbishment, and after all the years — no, centuries I've put into this country, I think it's only fair for me to be the one to do it. That's all I want. And the way I do, you say? In your words, I hurt, I deceive, I be—"

   "You betrayed me." Mischa kept her head held high although an emotion she was taught to keep hidden was beginning to surface. Her words seemed to have hit a blow as he paused his pacing and his jaw clenched.

   He stared at her through calculating eyes. "There must of been something wrong in your training. I never taught you this. But, then again, you are your Mother's daughter."

   "My Mother?" Mischa's voice turned to inquiry as her shoulders tensed and her ears suddenly became alert and perked up. "You knew my Mother?"

   Kirigan smiled subtly as No nodded slowly in confirmation. "Yes, you think I picked you from that orphanage just because? No, it was your blood, that's why I picked you, who your parents are." He hid his his growing smile at her reaction when he said her parents were still alive. "That's correct, they're alive, thriving, someone where in the world. Their probably having the time of their lives, paradise even, and still, they chose to leave you on the steps of an Orphanage to do that. They chose to leave you. And I chose to save you."

   Kirigan paused, his pleased smile faltering slightly as Mischa's lips fell into a deep frown and her bottom lip quivered lightly. Family, a sour subject for her clearly.

   "We all have Mommy and Daddy issues." Kirigan supplied after a moment. Seeing her quivering and keeping her emotions at bay grow harder, he took a step closer, now just one step away as he reached a hand out to place comfortably on her shoulder, like a Parents gentle caress, one she had never had besides the times he would cradle her worries goodbye. "My Mischa..."

   Something seemed to snap in her as she sniffled her emotions back into her body and the sadness that dragged her features down now tightened and her hooded eyes casted on the ground burned like flames.

   Her eyes, now filled with resentment and fiery rage flickered up to meet his.

   "I am not your Mischa, I am nobodies Mischa." She roughly pushed his comfort seeking hand away and took a step back to separate them. "Mischa belongs to Ravka, I am Ravka. And you. You will no longer control me."

   Turning her back on him, she ran towards the door to the study, and ripping it open, never glancing back to see his reaction.

   And as she tried to exit through the door, darkness enveloped her vision.

   In one second, her eyes flew open once again and she found herself lying in the bed in her quarters back at the Spinning Wheel, safe.

   As her irises scanned her surroundings, a shallow breath of relief left her parted lips.

   It was only a dream, a terrifying nightmare that her subconscious probably manifested from her fear of seeing him once again or even facing him.

   But, that dream gave her an answer to the unasked but offered question she still needed to decided on. She knew, she said it herself in the dream. She was Ravka. No one controlled her, not anymore, the choice was hers.

   Ravka would always be what she chose.

   That's how Mischa found herself shrugging on a white robe over her sleeping garments and quietly stepping out of her quarters and into the hallway with bare feet and one goal in mind.

   Her eyes scanned over all the closed doors as every slept until she stood in front of the one she was sure he was in.

   One determining knock was all it took for the door to be unlocked and swung open and Mischa knew there was no retreating now.

   As Mischa turned to the open door way now, she quickly reverted her eyes at the sight of Nikolai with no shirt and just a black open robe thrown over, maybe he too just shrugged something on when someone knocked at his door.

   Mischa slowly shifting her gaze back to the Prince who appeared surprise to see her, but managed to send her a small smile anyways.

   Mischa spoke with sudden confidence that made Nikolai's smile even wider. "I've made my decision."