five . . . satan's sandstorm
( april 11, 2156 — polis )

"THEY DON'T KNOW we're coming, so all three Northern passes will be wide open. But the village will be fortified. Where's the water source?"

They were gathered in a building next to the demolished tower of Polis, going over their plans for how they'd go about getting into the Valley without destroying it during their war. From what Cullen had gathered, the Valley was the last surviving piece of land on Earth, with Praimfaya seeming to have skipped over the entire village, so, rightfully, it should be theirs. Earth was theirs, and wherever the prisoners were from, Octavia was determined to return them to there, or kill every single one of them — which one, Cullen didn't mind.

Her presence in planning the war wasn't a necessity, but she wanted to be there. Octavia was barely standing on two feet, and if she was going to fight for the last piece of land, Cullen was going to, too. It was what Gracie deserved; a home outside of concrete walls and dismantled rubble. She deserved to run through fields and breathe clean air. Cullen had already decided she'd kill anyone if it meant Gracie would get to live her life on Earth and Kane and Abby would be freed from their captivity.

"Here." A Guard pointed to a section on the map.

"Why? What are you thinking?" Asked Indra, her question going interrupted by the doors to the building being opened.

In stepped Bellamy, Clarke, Miller, and a Guard, straightening Cullen's position from where she leaned over the table — beside her, Sloan crossed his arms over his chest as Clarke said, "My question exactly."

"Miller, your orders were to go—" Cooper started.

"I know my orders." He interrupted, sparking a small grin on Cullen's lips. He was removing his hood when he continued, "I think we should listen to what Clarke has to say."

Cullen's eyebrows almost shot off her head as her eyes flickered to Clarke. "You can't take the sea route."

"Why?" Asked Sloan, who had gathered more information than Cullen. "You said the sea is gone. Is it passable or not?"

"Yes, maybe. But you have to understand—"

"Maybe's good enough for me." Octavia interjected, before moving to walk forward. "Let's move out."

Bellamy stepped in her way, only to be met by three guns to his head. Cullen shrank back slightly, though didn't bat an eyelid at Bellamy's life being threatened for imposing on Blodreina's orders. The Guards would kill anyone who stood in the way of what Octavia thought was the most efficient way to do things.

"Stand down." Octavia ordered, all guns being lowered.

"Please, O, just hear us out." Bellamy gestured between himself and Clarke.

"Octavia, we're all on the same team. No one wants to get to that valley more than me. It's my home. But this way is too risky." Said Clarke, stirring confusion in Cullen's chest — she was sure Clarke had gone to space with everybody else.

"Risky how?" Asked Indra.

Clarke looked doubtful of sharing her knowledge with them, making Cullen crane her neck slightly, capturing Clarke's blue eyes. "Show us." Cullen invited, and nodded down to the map on the table.

Encouraged, Clarke moved around Octavia and immediately pointed at the map. "You chose the shortest route, which makes sense, but the dry seabed is hit by almost constant sandstorms."

"We have the tents from the Second Dawn Bunker. Sand won't be a problem." Excused Octavia.

"It's not just sand. Some of it crystallized in Praimfaya. I'm talking shards of glass like razor blades. Your tents will be torn to shreds and so will you."

"Blodreina is right." Said Cooper, both Cullen and Sloan withholding a roll of their eyes. "Besides, we can only carry rations for seven days. The sea route will take six. The next shortest path adds fifty miles. That's two days if we're lucky."

"Were you not listening to the crystallized sand and shards of glass like razor blades part?" Cullen threw back temperamentally.

Indra held up a peaceful hand. "How do we know there won't be sandstorms on the longer routes?"

"Enough." Octavia silenced, looking from Cullen, to Indra. "We're doing this. The hydrofarm is barely feeding us now, so if this is the last living valley on Earth, then it should be ours."

"Diyoza thinks the same thing." Said Bellamy.

"And so we fight." Octavia finalized, Indra, Cooper, and the Guards nodding before they packed up the maps and began leaving the building. Cullen and Sloan remained where they were, looking at each other expectedly when Octavia stopped at the exit and turned her chin over her shoulder. "Cullen, Sloan, I need to talk to you both in private."

Cullen passed another small smile to Clarke as she moved to leave after Octavia — walking past Bellamy, she very visibly dodged his shoulder, but did not miss the side glance he gave her. It was now, after six years, that Cullen could feel whenever Bellamy's eyes were on her. They would almost burn into her like lasers waiting to exploit its prey, shifting her uncomfortably until she was a safe distance away from him to know he couldn't corner her and force them to speak. If Cullen could help it, they'd never speak a word to each other; she'd burn herself alive before subjecting herself to that untouched trauma.

Once they were out of the building and it was just the three of them, Octavia turned to Cullen and Sloan. "You are two of my best warriors. I'd trust you both with my life." Said Octavia, looking between the couple. "You know I wouldn't ask this if I didn't think I needed it."

She didn't need to ask the question for Cullen to know what she was asking of them. "We'll come."

Sloan's head snapped down in her direction, but Cullen didn't look away from Octavia as the Blake female nodded appreciatively. "We'll wait so you can say goodbye to Gracie. Give her a hug for me."

"I will." Cullen answered, and didn't waste another second in turning around and moving towards the bunker entrance, Sloan hot on her tail. She briefly squeezed her eyes shut, expecting what would come as they climbed the rubble and readied themselves to be lowered back into the hole. "Don't say it."

"What about Gracie?" Sloan asked anyway, attaching his harness to Cullen's.

"Octavia's right." Said Cullen, nodding once to the man who began lowering them into the bunker. It was slower this time, giving Cullen the chance to explain, "If the Valley is the only living piece of Earth left, it should be ours — it should be Gracie's. You know I never wanted this life for her."

"I know, but a war?"

Cullen frowned across to him as her feet planted on the floor, hands moving to unclip herself. "If it's what it takes to get that valley, then yes."

"A war isn't always the answer." Said Sloan.

"I know that, but what other choice do we have? They started the war, and we'll finish it."

It wasn't what Cullen wanted to say, but she reminded herself of their relationship boundaries — one of Sloan's two requests was that they don't mention their lives before Wonkru, but Sloan's was worth mentioning when it came to a war against an opposing clan. He was bred to be a warrior, and Cullen knew that couldn't simply disappear because he wanted it to; Sloan was still a warrior, whether he'd admit it or not. He was born into a war, and trained to do exactly as Octavia was requesting — Cullen wasn't.

As they moved out of the arena and away from the fighting pit, Sloan's voice became softer. "Someone should stay with Gracie."

"If you think you're doing this without me, you're crazy." Cullen replied.

"I've fought wars before." Said Sloan.

"So have I." Cullen contended.

"None as severe as I have." Sloan sighed, and took hold of Cullen's hand to pull them to a stop. "Look, I'm trained to do this."

"And you trained me." Cullen reached a hand up to place it on Sloan's jaw, him automatically leaning into her touch. "We're gonna fight this war, and win it, and live a long life together — on Earth, in the Valley. No one's gonna stand in the way of me getting that for us."

Sloan admired Cullen, down to the fractionless flaws of her personality, but God, did her stubbornness irritate him at times. "Ai na mafta op yu eniwhere." (I'd follow you anywhere.)

"En ai na wan op gon yu." (And I would die for you.) She jostled, smiling sweetly up to him. When he returned her smile, she felt satisfied that they understood the limits they would go for each other — she tugged on the hand that she held. "Come on."

When they reached the bunk, they explained everything as vaguely as they could, deciphering why they had to leave for a little while without giving Gracie the details they knew would frighten her. But, Gracie was a smart kid. She was the most adaptable five year old Cullen had ever known, and it amazed her more and more as the days passed by at how Gracie understood everything she was told.

"When will you come back?" Asked Gracie, twirling a strand of Cullen's hair around her finger.

"Soon." Cullen promised, smiling as warmly as she could when Gracie looked back to her. "You know I never leave you for long."

"I'm gonna miss you, Mommy." Said Gracie, moving her small, frail arms around Cullen's neck.

Cullen immediately returned to embrace, thumbs rubbing against Gracie's back as she reminded herself of what she was going to war for — for the small human in her arms to have a chance at a life on Earth. "I'm gonna miss you, too." Whispered Cullen, blinking hardly to rid her eyes of the tears that threatened to glisten on her waterline as she pulled away. "You stay with Niylah no matter what, ok? If you don't, I won't know how to come back to you."

"I will." Gracie's innocence promised, before she asked, "Are you a knight now?"

She couldn't help but laugh lightly. "I guess I am. Just like you, my little gona." (Warrior.) Gracie smiled brightly at the only word she knew in the language, thudding Cullen's heart harder against her ribs. "I love you so much."

"I know, Mommy." And with that, Gracie's attention switched to Sloan, and all concern surrounding Cullen vanished; it was a good thing, Cullen reminded herself as she stood from the bed and made her way over to where Niylah stood next to the door.

The woman smiled ardently to Cullen as she joined her in watching Sloan say goodbye to Gracie. "Is she marching on the Valley?" Asked Niylah.

"That seems to be the plan." Cullen answered, biting back the smile at the sight of Gracie messing with Sloan's gingery blond hair — the happiness quickly faltered as she remembered all that she could lose. "Thank you for this, Niylah."

"Of course. I'll keep her safe." Niylah promised, and accepted Cullen's arm of appreciation. The two women nodded respectively to each other, Cullen's eyebrows creasing together when Niylah clung to her arm for a few seconds longer. "Remind Octavia that not all wars need to shed blood."

To this, Cullen wasn't sure Niylah was right.

💛

THEY STOPPED FOR the night in the middle of the desert, with Octavia setting out orders that they would be on the move again at first light. For now, people were to get their rest for the long days they had ahead, which was exactly what Sloan was doing — he took advantage of their break, while Cullen couldn't find it in herself to close her eyes for more than a minute. Gracie's face burnt brightly in her mind while a set of eyes drilled into the back of her head, seamlessly scorching her more than the fire in front of her was.

Cullen refused to turn around and give Bellamy the chance to meet her gaze — she was struggling enough as it was with the knowledge of his presence a hundred feet from her, and didn't want to purposely make it worse by meeting his eyes that wouldn't detach from her body. She felt as though she was under a microscope, being thoroughly evaluated for all the differences that had occurred in her life during the past six years, and it made her nauseous. Cullen didn't want Bellamy to try and figure her out; Cullen didn't want Bellamy anywhere near her, period.

Clarke Griffin, however, was a much different case. As soon as Cullen spotted Clarke walking towards her, a rekindling smile on her lips, the Vander female shot up from her place on the ground and met Clarke halfway. Their bodies crashed together, arms looping around the other in an embrace Cullen wasn't sure they had ever shared before — whether they had or not, Cullen was simply happy they were able to reunite finally.

"I'm so glad you're alive." Cullen breathed in relief, eyes closing briefly as she accepted Clarke's overdue embrace.

"You, too." Clarke replied, and pulled back seconds later with a regretful look settled across her fair features — she was frowning, something Cullen hated to see Clarke do. "I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye, Cullen."

The Vander female shook her head instantly. "Don't be sorry. You didn't have a choice." Said Cullen, figuring that from Clarke's understanding smile, she was well aware of what Bellamy did six years ago. To divert her thoughts, Cullen asked, "You didn't go to space, did you?"

Clarke shook her head. "No, I didn't." It was Cullen's turn to frown, thinking about Clarke being alone on Earth for six years. "But I survived. After everything: being separated from my Mom, staying on Earth, outliving Praimfaya. I survived."

"Nothing can kill Clarke Griffin." Cullen commented, laughing lightly with Clarke.

"I owe a lot of that to Madi." A fond smile curled up Clarke's lips, equalizing happiness past Cullen's immense confusion.

"Madi?" She pondered, having never heard the name.

"My daughter." Said Clarke. "I found her after Praimfaya and made her a Nightblood, like me."

Cullen knew Clarke Griffin very well, and she was never the best at lying. She tended to avoid making eye contact when she wasn't telling the truth, but Cullen didn't comment on that — after six years, Cullen knew it was best to leave the tender details of Clarke's life alone. If she didn't want to share something with her, she wouldn't, and Cullen didn't mind; she wouldn't share intimate details about Gracie if she didn't deem it necessary.

"Well, I'll have to thank Madi when I meet her. I don't know what we'd do without you, Clarke." Cullen smiled distantly. "We could have really used you in the bunker."

"We all found our own ways to survive. Like you." Said Clarke, and glanced over Cullen's shoulder to where hers and Sloan's tent was pitched up. "You seem to have your hands full."

She didn't — not at all, actually. She loved Sloan, and Gracie was her entire life. Living in the Second Dawn Bunker gave Cullen the opportunity to see what life was like without bullet wounds and warring clans; it was peaceful, and something she yearned to get back to.

"That just kind of happened." Cullen admitted, looking away from the tent and back to Clarke, an uncontrollable smile lifting her lips at the thought of her daughter. "And Gracie... she's my little miracle."

"She's beautiful, Cullen." Complimented Clarke, though the comment only saddened her — Gracie was beautiful, beyond words to describe her prettiness, but she didn't look at all like Cullen, leaving her physique an exact replica of the other half of her DNA. "How old is she?"

"Five." Cullen answered. "Six in December."

Clarke nodded, and asked the painful question, "Is she Bellamy's?"

The answer was very clear in the way Gracie looked; she was all Blake in looks, and Vander in personality. From her dark curls to her wide, umber irises, olive skin, and slightly pointed nose, she was Bellamy's child. And while Cullen didn't shy away from that fact, she wasn't welcome to talk about it — it was like an unofficial law in the Second Dawn Bunker, but they weren't in their concealed habitat anymore. They were exposed, Cullen especially, to the questions that would come about her daughter and her heritage — the most fatal bomb was yet to drop, and was walking towards them as Cullen attempted to cough up an answer.

Expectedly, Cullen took one look at Bellamy's approaching frame and turned on her heel, walking hastily back to hers and Sloan's tent without another thought. She made a mental note to apologize to Clarke later, but didn't inflict herself with the pain of turning around to see him in her wake, eyes pleading for a single conversation.

The peace didn't last long when the scouts came back, screaming with one of them, Obika, thrashing around in pain. Cullen hadn't seen anything like it when they cleared a tent and inspected his body, seeing something inside of his stomach trying to tear its way out. It only infected Obika, and fortunately not Miller or any of the other scouts, but when Clarke advised them to go back because whatever was inside Obika had come from the sand, Octavia refused, and insisted that if Obika wasn't cleared by first light, she'd end his pain herself.

It wasn't even ten minutes later when the winds shifted, and the sandstorm from hell began to descend upon Wonkru. Cullen and Sloan were now fully awake, stepping out from their tent when someone shouted, "Something's coming!"

Rushing out after Sloan, Cullen came to a stop beside Indra, eyes widened with fear at the sight of a mile long, thunder and lightning sandstorm passing right beside them. It was absolutely terrifying, Clarke's warnings from earlier that day coming into play in Cullen's mind as Bellamy said, "It's blocking the way back."

"Can we outrun it?" Indra asked.

"As long as it keeps moving laterally from East to West, we shouldn't have to, but if the wind shifts—" Clarke began to explain.

"The wind hasn't met Wonkru." Claimed Octavia, Cullen's head snapping to their leader.

"It's weather, Octavia. We can't fight it." She argued.

Octavia turned, ignoring Cullen's argument. "Now there's no choice. We keep moving."

"We keep moving?" Bellamy extended an arm, stopping Octavia in her way past them. "Thanks to you, we're stuck between razor-blade winds and burrowing parasitic bugs."

"Thanks to you, we're at war, Bellamy." Octavia said back.

"Only if you insist on fighting it." He disputed, something familiar twitching in Cullen's heart.

"Fight or die. That's all there is." At Octavia's words, Bellamy passed an ambiguous look across to Clarke, both of them thinking the same thing — that Octavia was psychopathically insane. Cullen understood it, because they hadn't lived through what Wonkru had, therefore they weren't used to fighting every day to survive, but Octavia wasn't insane. She was smart, and that's what Bellamy and Clarke seemed to misinterpret. "You don't understand. I get it. Because you're not one of us."

"Is Obika one of you?" Bellamy hummed, and looked back to the tent that housed the sick man. "Because you're about to end his life like he means nothing to you. I understand that."

Sloan advanced forward, Cullen hurriedly throwing herself in front of him and knocking his chest against her back, stopping him from wiping out Bellamy — it wasn't out of defense of Bellamy's words, but protection for Sloan for what might happen if he picked a fight nobody wanted to see.

Not fighting against her restraint, Sloan looked over Cullen's head and to Bellamy, spitting out, "Show some respect."

"Easy." Octavia eased, eyes moving from Sloan, to the Guards that were now on full alert, before returning to Bellamy. "I'd stop if I were you."

Before the budding sibling rivalry could continue, the sound of Obika screaming from inside the tent alerted several people to rush forward, leaving Cullen and Sloan to watch fearfully in their wake. More screams were heard before Octavia's body was thrown out of the tent, colliding painfully with the sand, enacting Cullen to sprint forward and fall to the ground beside her.

"Octavia?" Cullen asked, panicked as Octavia began thrashing around. Her eyes scoped Octavia's body, seeing a parasitic bug embedded deep in her arm. "Indra!" Cullen shouted, eyes searching for the woman. "Burn it down! Kill them all!"

Bellamy and Clarke dropped to the ground beside her, Bellamy taking Octavia's body in his arms as Clarke began inspecting the moving creature under Octavia's skin. "Get her inside the tent."

Together, Bellamy and Sloan lifted Octavia from the ground, Cullen and Clarke moving in front of them to clear space in the tent for Octavia's twitching body. As she stumbled in, Cullen throwing all miscellaneous items to the ground, Octavia churned out, "I can't feel my legs."

"It must be its venom." Clarke theorized as Bellamy and Sloan set Octavia down on a chair. "Put her arm on the table. We can't let it get into her torso. Get me a med kit!" Clarke's hand caught on Cullen's wrist as she began to move out of the tent. "Cullen, I need you to make a tourniquet out of whatever you can find."

Cullen could only nod, moving to gather whatever she could, resurfacing the knowledge she had obtained from Abby. A tourniquet wasn't hard to make, but the entire panic of the situation was making Cullen's mind fuzzy.

From the tent's entrance, Cooper was saying, "There were dozens of those worms. They must lay their eggs—"

"Shut up and go, Cooper." Sloan barked out, hands planting on Cullen's hips and moving her around his body when she stood frozen in her spot.

Now beside Octavia, Cullen began wrapping the makeshift tourniquet around Octavia's arm, tightening it to a point where nothing could bypass the boundary.

"Will that stop it?" Asked Bellamy, eyes settled on Cullen.

"It's not for the worm. It's for the blood." She spoke through her teeth, attention still focused on Octavia's arm. "I need a knife."

"What are you waiting for?" Octavia asked through short pants of breath.

Sloan handed the knife to Cullen, who passed it along to Clarke, who accepted it without question. "Ok. You've gotta stop moving. This is gonna hurt."

Octavia's hand found Cullen's as Clarke began digging the knife into her arm, spilling red blood all over the table. Groans of inflicted agony surrounded the tent as Octavia's hold tightened around Cullen's hand, the Vander female willingly taking the pain while she watched Clarke wiggle the knife underneath Octavia's skin.

"Clarke, you're gonna lose it." Said Bellamy.

"Like hell I am." Clarke gritted out, and dug deeper until there was a large gash in Octavia's arm. "I got it! Cullen, take the knife."

With her free hand, Cullen took the knife and bent it backwards, opening up Octavia's skin and revealing the flesh underneath. She winced as Octavia screamed, hand only tightening around hers while Cullen's other hand wobbled against the knife steadily opening the wound — with her fingers, Clarke was pulling the bug out, Indra's words attempting to silence Octavia's groans.

Past every bit of commotion inside the tent, Cullen heard his voice — Monty Green's, through the radio Bellamy was holding. "Please, if you can hear me, where are you?"

Cullen's head turned to Bellamy, her concentration slipping as Monty's voice bounced between her ears. "Monty?" She whispered, wide eyes skimming past Bellamy's.

"I got this. Take it." Clarke instructed Bellamy, before her words turned on Cullen. "Cullen, the knife."

After blinking back the realization she was going to see Monty again, Cullen's hand readjusted around the knife. "I got it."

"Monty, it's me. Something tells me we got your emergency beep."

"I doubt that. The prisoners have an eye in the sky on the Mothership, and a missile system on their transport ship." Monty's cracked voice came through the radio.

"Missiles?" Sloan rehearsed from beside Cullen.

"They're on their way to you right now. You have to move. Hide somewhere. Take cover."

"Hide from an eye in the sky?" Bellamy threw back as Octavia began to lose consciousness. "How are we supposed to do that?"

"Murphy says we have a friend inside. If he's right, the eye won't be watching. You have a window but you have to move now."

Cullen's eyes turned back to Octavia's wound in time to see Clarke pull the bug from her arm. It was thrashing violently in her hand, Clarke holding it at arms length for someone to take — Sloan did, and immediately moved out of the tent with it.

"Where do we take cover from missiles in the middle of a wasteland?" Asked Indra.

"If they see us retreat, they'll stand down." Clarke presumed.

Octavia's grip on Cullen's hand began to loosen as she removed the knife and dropped it onto the table, picking up a random cloth to press against the gushing wound. "You still don't understand. Wonkru does not retreat."

"You do if you want to live." Bellamy argued.

"We don't have time to argue." Cullen bellowed, moving both of her hands to control Octavia's bleeding. "The path home puts us in the middle of a sandstorm. So, like it or not, we're stuck here."

"Those ruins are not our home." Octavia groaned out as she weakly pushed herself from the chair, readjusting Cullen's grip on her arm. "That valley is, and we're taking it back."

"Octavia, easy. The venom's still in your system." Said Clarke.

Octavia got close to Bellamy's face and muttered, "Get ready to understand."

Wonkru were a powerful group of people. They had survived Praimfaya, and wars within their clan, and the brink of starvation during the Dark Year. Through everything, they survived because of Octavia's leadership, when it was questionable, and when it was the only option they had. Each of them were loyal to Blodreina, and that came into play when they had to survive the sandstorm from hell, the parasitic worms, and the missile launch.

They formed a huddle around the injured Octavia, with Cullen and Clarke both at her side, ensuring she didn't bleed out while the sandstorm passed them by. Indra's shouts for them to hold their formation were all that coarsed through the air as they waited for their hell to be over.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

a/n . . . we finally get a (minor) confrontation next chapter,
as well as a reunion that is sure to make me ball buckets :') until then, where do you think cullen's loyalties lie?