twenty seven . . . amendments
( april 29, 2281 — sanctum )

          WHEN THEY GOT back to Sanctum, everything seemed to be straightened out — they were welcomed into the community as soon as Diyoza was kicked out, following the claim she was high on the terrorist list beside Hitler and Bin Laden. She went willingly, which Cullen supposed was a good thing, but with the knowledge of the hostile people roaming around Alpha, people they later learned were called the Children of Gabriel, they feared for Diyoza and her child's lives — they feared for Octavia. Or at least Cullen did.

Their worries were quickly diverted the next morning as Sanctum broke out into a celebration of Delilah's Naming Day. The people from Earth didn't have a clue what it meant, only that when they awoke and entered the tavern in the morning, baked goods and cakes of all kinds lined the counter tops waiting to be taken to the Great Hall. Cullen stood lonesomely in the room, looking on at the treats that reminded her of the food that was served in Mount Weather — even remembering it made it feel like a thousand years ago.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" A voice came from Cullen's right, the woman turning to see Blythe Ann, Delilah's Mother, approaching her, eyes set on the blue and white frosted cake. "Jae has such a talent for making food look beautiful. It's Simone's favorite. He always bakes it on Naming Day."

"It is really pretty." Cullen complimented before looking away from the cake. "What's 'Naming Day'? Is it some sort of festival?"

"A ceremony, actually." Blythe Ann answered. "To celebrate Priya Desai, hallowed be her name."

If Cullen had time to answer, she wasn't sure what she would have said. The serenity in Sanctum was an atmosphere she hadn't experienced in a very long time, as ever since her survival of the extinction at Mount Weather, Cullen's life had been nonstop wars or motherhood. She couldn't remember how to act when in a civilised lifestyle, and that thought worried her immensely. Fortunately, the sight of Sloan and Gracie strolling past the window gave Cullen an out of the suffocating situation.

"Excuse me." Cullen smiled politely to Blythe Ann before making her escape to the nearest exit.

She pushed through the tavern doors and allowed them to swing closed behind her before she advanced away from the building, avoiding busied bodies as she made her way over to Sloan and Gracie. The man walked monotonously, wary eyes wandering around Sanctum while Gracie practically skipped by his side, gaze of wonderment absorbing everything she could.

Gracie spotted her first, and though Cullen didn't think it was possible, her face lit up even more. "Mom, have you seen this place? It doesn't even seem real." She chirped as she linked their arms together.

"It doesn't, does it?" Cullen hummed as she too looked around, taking in the festivities of the settlement. "It's Delilah's Naming Day, apparently. Some kind of celebration for one of the Primes."

"Russell and Simone?" Sloan asked from the other side of Gracie.

"Someone called Priya. I guess we haven't met her yet." She shrugged lightly, not being able to bring herself to meet his eyes — not that he was exactly seeking out her gaze, either.

She was immediately pulled to the side by Abby when they arrived back to Sanctum last night, so Cullen hadn't gotten the chance to talk to Sloan privately yet. She hadn't gotten the chance to admit to her guilt for kissing Bellamy, and it had been all that had gnawed at her mind since. Being overthrown by one certain emotion was something Cullen hadn't felt in a long time — since her grieving anger towards Bellamy leaving her in the bunker — and the fact her guilt was pointed towards someone so kind and compassionate as Sloan, it was killing her.

"I really like it here." Gracie noted, pulling Cullen's attention back down to her. Her smile was softer now, less blinding to the eye, but more genuine then ever — a smile that was savoured for when Cullen awoke on her birthday every year. "I think we could be happy."

"Yeah?" Cullen hummed, liking the thought.

A few seconds of silence ticked by as they continued to walk mindlessly through Sanctum, no destination in mind when Sloan said, "I don't know." Both females to his right looked across to him, awaiting an explanation. "There's something off about this place."

Cullen sighed. "Sloan..."

"They say they pose no threat, yet their Guards still carry weapons, and we can't." Sloan nodded to the four Guards that could be spotted a distance away from them, walking the stairs up to the palace. "It just doesn't sit right with me."

"You're just being prejudiced." Gracie humored him, sending him a grin that he didn't return.

"I want you both to be careful." It wasn't a request more than a heavy order, but Cullen was more focused on Gracie's shoulders dropping in disappointment then the point Sloan was trying to make. "I don't think we should trust these people."

Unlinking their arms and soothingly rubbing between Gracie's shoulder blades, Cullen's lips perched as she looked around Sanctum and pondered Sloan's claim to the Primes and their people holding the higher power. She supposed she could see where he was coming from; though Clarke's dinner with Russell and Simone had ended successfully, with their people being allowed to stay in Sanctum, they were still walking around on eggshells — even after casting Octavia out and allowing Diyoza to be taken away. The people of Sanctum's hostility was rightful, but it didn't make well for trust with people who had known nothing but disloyalty and war.

"I think we should enjoy the celebration." Cullen pulled a smile onto her face when Gracie's eyes melted hopeful. "If we at least try to trust them, getting along will come easier. Right, Sloan?"

The man wasn't at all willing to drop his weariness, but when Gracie's large, loving eyes turned to look up at him, he found himself sighing lightly and nodding his head. "Right."

"Thank you." Gracie beamed, detaching all contact with her Mother and bouncing up to peck a kiss to Sloan's cheek. When satisfied with his uneven smile, she turned back to Cullen and said, "I'm gonna go find Jordan, then can we go to the Great Hall?"

"Sure. I'll meet you in the tavern soon." Cullen called after her as she speedily made her way to the tavern doors, disappearing behind them and leaving Cullen and Sloan alone by the pond. It was as though when Gracie was gone, the sun went away and the guilt-ridden night crept up on them, rendering a deafening silence that shook Alpha to the core. "Clarke's deal was to live without disruption — that means you can't go around claiming their Guards can't carry weapons."

"What are they protecting them from? Us?" He snapped.

"I'm sure by now Russell knows we don't need weapons to overthrow this place." Cullen said lightly, biting back her frown when Sloan scoffed lowly to himself and began to shake his head. In another reaction to bring peace to his worries, Cullen stepped forward and took one of Sloan's hands in both of her own, thumbs moving over the ridges protruding his skin. "Can't you at least try?"

"We try, we let our defenses down, and they kill us."

"Nobody is killing anybody." Cullen sighed. "Gracie's happy, Sloan. She feels safe. Isn't that what matters?"

Sloan's jaw visibly hardened as he looked down to Cullen, green moving between green. "Of course it does. We just can't lose anymore people."

"We won't." Her tone held such guarantee, but Cullen didn't know what would become of their fate in Sanctum — they didn't know the Primes or the people they led. It was all based off of hope, something Cullen was slowly infiltrating back into her life again. "As soon as Raven and Emori figure out how to build our own radiation shield, we're out of here. Until then, we follow their rules, just like Clarke agreed."

He laughed humorlessly. "When did Clarke start giving the orders again?"

"When most of our leaders died, some are still frozen on the mothership, and others are trying to figure out how to survive on this planet. I know you haven't had much experience with Clarke being our leader, but she's good." Cullen caught Sloan's chin when he began to look away. "She's good, and you have to trust she's keeping us safe."

"Trust is a funny thing." He mumbled, toying with Cullen's fingers; there was apprehension marking his brow, but she couldn't figure out what it meant. "Not a lot of it going around nowadays."

Her hands dropped from his. "What does that mean?"

"Come on, Cullen. You can't really believe we're the most unified group at the minute. The majority of our people are still in Cryosleep in space, the ones here are playing house with strangers, and others are sending their siblings off to die alone."

Somehow, it had circled back around to Bellamy, and the mention of his necessary step in leaving Octavia behind made Cullen click her jaw firmly into place. "Bellamy, Gracie and I all understand that Octavia is better off away from the group for a while. There's no need for you to resurface done deals."

"How long until Bellamy starts kicking other people out?" He inquired pointedly.

Cullen couldn't help the roll of her eyes. "You're not going anywhere."

"Really? Because Bellamy and I give off that life-or-death loyalty signal, don't we." Disbelief flashed through his eyes as they moved between Cullen's, not finding her advancement to take his side. "If given the chance, he would've cast me out a long time ago."

"Are we really doing this? Discussing your very unlikely termination from the group?" She shook her head. "You're not going anywhere, for as long as I have a say in it, anyway."

"Why wouldn't you have a say?"

"It's like you said, trust is a funny thing — not a lot of it going around." After Cullen's repeat of Sloan's words, the two of them fell into an exhaustive silence for a few moments, each of them watching the subtle ripples ascend across the small pond. It was when she felt his body temperature declining that she uttered, "Bellamy and I kissed on the transport ship last night."

She didn't necessarily fear his reaction, but she was cautious of how he'd react. Last time, he was no less than understanding, but the kiss they shared back then was a spur of the moment, kiss me one last time to get away, kind of kiss. Cullen knew her kiss with Bellamy on the transport ship meant something much more than 'we may not see each other again and I need you to save our daughter from a fiery death' — it was something they both wanted. Cullen had only realized how much she enjoyed kissing him until that morning, when the guilt began to fully kick in.

"Ok." Was all he said, and unknowing to Cullen, Sloan thought it was too much. He had done much worse than Cullen had, and he wasn't nearly as vigilant to come forward and admit his wrongings to her like she had with him, so really, Sloan knew Cullen owed him no explanation — he was the one that should be explaining. He should have been the one to admit to the unfaithful act he couldn't stop thinking about.

Cullen turned her eyes timidly to glaze over his features — there was nothing. No anger, no jealousy. "Is that it?"

He gulped down razor blades. "What more is there to say? You love Bellamy." Everyone seemed to be able to say it but her. "I just wish you would've figured it out sooner."

"I love you, too." She quickly claimed, but there was no certainty in her tone — no matter how genuinely the emotion lay in her heart, not a single fraction of her external being portrayed to Sloan that it was true.

He nodded. "You love me, but you're in love with him. You always have been."

It was true, as much as Cullen would hate to admit it — she did love Bellamy. Possibly not in the same way she used to, but just as much as she loved Sloan; dare she say, maybe more. It was like an instinct; she couldn't help but love him, because she wanted to. With everything that they could offer each other, Cullen knew that aside from Monty, her soulmate in all platonic areas, Bellamy was who her soul belonged to — as his did to her. It was an inevitable section of the universe, Cullen realized: two souls meant to be.

Nothing more was said between Cullen and Sloan as they made their way to where Russell and Simone were beginning the Naming Day celebration. They stood before the palace, up the stairs and on the balcony, looking down on the small colony of Sanctum — they were righteous, and they were in charge. No one but the people from Earth seemed to question their attitude that dubbed them as the rulers of Sanctum; like they were true loyalty.

"Welcome to Naming Day." Russell began, enacting cheers all around them. "Today we observe the four pillars of Sanctum. They are?"

"Repent, renew, rejoice, rebirth." The people of Sanctum rehearsed back to their leader, ignoring as the people from Earth looked around peculiarly.

"Correct. Rebirth. Rebirth! Today we mark the return of our beloved Priya..." Russell paused to allow the crowd to recite 'hallowed be her name' before he continued, "Indeed. As we bequeath her name to our equally beloved Delilah." Another round of applause was gifted to the beautiful woman that stood with her parents at the bottom of the stairs. "As is tradition with every Naming Day, I will begin the process of making amends.

As your leader, it's my job to keep us safe during the red sun. Kaylee..." Russell looked across to the woman who had lost her family — the family Cullen had a hand in killing. "I failed you in this when I realized you and your family didn't make it to Ryker's Keep before the eclipse. I closed the door. I kept it open as long as I could until the life of everyone else was at risk. It was a decision with tragic consequences. I know the heartbreak you feel. I know your pain. I miss Josephine every day. And the fact that I'm the cause of this pain for you... "

Kaylee reached to pull Russell into a forgiving embrace, the people of Sanctum breaking into another round of applause as Cullen shifted uncomfortably on her feet. She had learned that the person she had killed aboard the mothership was called Victor, and he was thoroughly loved all throughout Sanctum, as were the rest of the Primes. Inadvertently, it didn't make her apologetic for doing what had to be done, but Cullen would later learn that Diyoza had taken the full blame on killing all of Kaylee's family members — Cullen was simply the person that returned their dead bodies.

"And now it's your turn. Tell your neighbor that you love them." Everyone pulled into embraces all through Sanctum, Cullen's eyes subconsciously wandering over to where Bellamy stood with Echo. "Make amends for those you've hurt. Free yourselves."

Not long after, Russell dismissed the people of Sanctum back to the celebration, and Sloan took off in a direction Cullen didn't bother to remember. She remained rooted in her place, eyes now having drifted away from Bellamy and up to where Kaylee still stood, looking right back at her; with such a distance between them, one couldn't be sure Kaylee was looking at her, but Cullen knew. Kaylee's melancholic eyes drilled into Cullen's body as though she was merely an insect on the ground, never to be considered a valuable piece of society — Cullen had known enough hatred to not sink beneath Kaylee's withering stare. If there was going to be a problem, she wasn't going to be the one to start it.

"Cullen. Hi." Jordan appeared by Cullen's side, flashing her a wide, compelling grin — it brought her attention away from Kaylee and across to the boy that had his Fathers eyes. "How are you enjoying the celebration?"

She smiled weakly. "Well, it is about amendments, and I'm as good as any in knowing I have a lot to make. It's where to start that's bothering me."

"Is this about Bellamy and Sloan and your decision to wake up Gracie?" He asked as though it was strikingly obvious. She supposed it was, as when she didn't answer, Jordan nodded knowingly. "Repent, renew, rejoice, rebirth. It's got to be worth something, right?"

"Your parents would have loved this — this community. What they stand for. They would've fit in perfectly here." Cullen noted, smiling more genuinely when Jordan's cheeks tinted. "I wonder if you can make amendments with the people that aren't here anymore."

"I think you can, but my Mom and Dad loved you. They'd want you to focus on the people that matter to you now, today." Jordan's words attracted Cullen's eyes back across to Bellamy, who now stood by the pond with Gracie, laughing with her about something they had shared. "If you have something you want to say to someone, today is the perfect day."

💛

HOURS LATER, CULLEN stood in the tavern with Miller by her side, the two of them sharing a drink while discussing the festivities going on all around them. Their initial conversation had been about Octavia and Bellamy's decision to cast her out, and how her absence brought some light in Miller's life — light that Cullen could understand. Miller said that he felt like he was free from Blodreina's reign, and that that was enough for him to start a new with their people. The celebration seemed to be cleansing everybody but her.

"How are you and Jackson doing, after everything that happened during the red sun?" Cullen asked to distract herself from thinking about her burdens she couldn't seem to part with. Her question made Miller send her a puzzled look. "Clarke told me."

"Right." Miller laughed once. "Well, we're great. Jax is off keeping an eye on Murphy, and with the whole four R's or whatever the hell they are going on, we've been better today. Can't really blame him for what he done while psychotic."

"It's always the people that love us that want to stab us, huh?" She laughed as she took a drink of whatever Blythe Ann had poured into her cup. "I hate to say it, but this is better than Monty's moonshine."

Miller grinned from ear to ear. "Anything is better than Monty's moonshine. At least he tried, though."

"That he did." She smiled fondly down to the red liquid, swirling it around in her cup as Miller mumbled on about something he had noticed while having a tour around Sanctum. Cullen had meant to listen, because she was sure that whatever Miller was talking about was more entertaining then her thoughtless mind trying to conjure up anything to subdue her, but she didn't hear a word he said. The world around her seemed to completely disappear until Bellamy was in front of them, raising his eyebrows between the two friends.

"Hey." He greeted Miller before nodding to Cullen. "What's up with her?"

"Either she's had too much Jo Juice, or she just shut down for a minute."

Cullen blinked herself out of subconsciousness and elbowed Miller moodily, ignoring the way his grin ultimately lifted her spirits. "I didn't shut down." She murmured as her eyes flickered across to Bellamy. "What's up?"

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" He requested.

From beside her, Miller downed the remaining contents of his cup before smiling between the two of them. "I'm gonna go find Raven, see if she's out of her mood yet."

He sauntered away without fault, Cullen watching him as far as he could go before returning her eyes to Bellamy. He was already watching her when their eyes met, a need to understand what was going through her head gleaming brightly in his eyes, making Cullen's stomach flip anxiously — anxiousness was never an emotion Cullen had felt around Bellamy, because she had always been so sure of his actions and motives. Now, it was as though he was a completely new person.

Bellamy cleared his throat. "Amendments."

"We don't have to do that." She excused too hastily, cheeks heating up when Bellamy raised an eyebrow at her rashness. "We don't have to compensate or makeup for our wrongdoings. We both know that the other person was just doing what they thought was right."

"What instance are we talking about?" He asked.

"All of them, I guess. From the very beginning. We've always been aware of each other's motives, whether we liked them or not. Like choosing opposing factions, or leaving unnecessarily." Her green irises mellowed to a level of vulnerability she only trusted Bellamy not to exploit. "We don't have to make amends. We're perfectly fine."

It took him a while to finally nod his head, allowing himself to accept that Cullen's words were right — in some weird, twisted sense, they were fine. Cracked beneath the surface they were layers and layers of unidentified complications, but on their new, slightly fractured surface, they were fine. Addressing their problems could come at another time.

"Ok. Well, there's something else."

"What?"

"That." Bellamy turned to point a finger in the direction of the tavern window, where Gracie and Jordan sat tucked closely together. The sight immediately lifted a smile onto Cullen's lips, because she knew what Bellamy was talking about — her sneaking suspicion was coming into play through his protective Fatherly instincts. "First, I find out that I have a daughter. Then, she grows up another thirteen years without me. And now I have to deal with her having a boyfriend?"

She was grinning impossibly large for the subject at hand. "Oh, well, I don't know if he's her boyfriend. More of a life companion, I'd say."

Bellamy's head snapped back to Cullen. "What?"

"They love each other. He loves her. Oh! Don't look now, they're about to kiss." Laughter bubbled up her throat as Bellamy choked on simple oxygen, his eyes almost popping completely out of their sockets. He would have advanced towards them if it weren't for Cullen's amused, quivering hand clamping around his forearm. "I'm kidding, Bellamy. You should've seen your face."

"You have jokes now?" He grumbled, peaking a cautious eye over to Gracie and Jordan.

"When it comes to our daughters love life that has nothing to do with us, yes, I do." She rolled her eyes when the scowl turning down Bellamy's lips didn't disappear. "If it makes you feel any better, I didn't know about it."

The sight of their daughter so in love and happy was enough for Cullen not to view the situation as ominous as Bellamy, who hadn't been given his chance to be protective of Gracie until right now — until a time when she was in a loving relationship with a good man. "It makes me feel a little better."

"That's the spirit." Cullen beamed, dashing around the table she stood behind and bumping her shoulder against Bellamy's. They both fought against their budding prosperity as they watched Gracie from afar. "Look at her. See how happy she is?"

"Yeah." Bellamy murmured, watching Gracie for a few more seconds before turning his eyes back to Cullen. Her smile was so genuine and so beautiful that his heart almost launched through his chest and presented itself at her feet, begging for it to be hers. "Reminds me of a time."