Dear James,

Today was, quite an eventful day, if I'm being honest. Party because Reggae told me that he's got 'boy problems' and I'm quite happy in aiding him, and party because Moony, Padfoot and Wormy found out that I fancy you.

They had their suspicions since a long time, so today they finally decided to ask me for the truth and I, well I spilled it. I knew they wouldn't judge, but it felt weird you know, because I'd never told that to anyone except Reg. 

But their expressions were varied, but all conveyed the same meaning, the same feeling- sadness, pity and slight heartbreak for me. They knew you could never in a lifetime look at me the way I did you. And I knew that too.

And I felt that their sadness wasn't just for me, someone else too, and I wonder why or who.

On the other hand, Lily found out too, and I didn't want her to, because I knew how she'd react, and that, I dreaded. Guilt, James. She felt guilty. She overheard my confession, and the muggle novel in her hand fell off with a bang, and when I turned to look at her, her eyes were glistening with tears, filled with unexplainable guilt and sorry. 

She believed it was her fault I couldn't have you. 

But she was wrong. It's not her fault that I can't have you. It's my fault that I fell for a person who's already fallen for someone else. Sometimes I wonder, 'why couldn't I have fallen for someone else?', 'there is a plethora of girls and boys out there who would be great for me, but why did I have to unknowingly chose you?'. 

I chose you, James, and I don't know why. But I know, that it's for a reason. It must be, for everything has a reason, a motive. I just don't know what yet.

But you and I, we're not meant to be. I know that, you know that, the stars know that. We're meant for different things, greater things. Things we don't know and we won't see them coming.

And I don't mind that, at all. I don't want to be with you. I want you to be happy, with whoever you want. Life's too short to get upset over what or who you can't have.

Love, 

Cassie