Rain

Water droplets rhythmically pitter-pattered against the clear glass. Five little droplets stayed alive as the excessive downpour blocked anything in sight. It was like looking at the world without glasses, blurry and dazed. They rolled down the windows since it was their pathway, but eventually found their ending on the windowsill.

Boring Beige walls.

It's the most infuriating color ever. So bland, so boring, so yuck! This room was making me sick already. Maybe I should go back to focusing on the rain.

"Earth to Davina," my therapist Annalise called out.

My attention returned to the slim, well-dressed woman in her grey recliner chair. Her hands rested on the leather handles, her contrasting yellow nail polish brought the sunlight this room lacked. Annalise's auburn hair was tied into a bun, and she stared intensively with a pen in her hand.

"Yeah," I responded, dazed.

"How are you feeling? Is the medication working? You seemed to be unusually quiet, we can up the dose if needed," Annalise pondered, the pen tapping her notebook in a way that looked like a clock ticking.

"I feel great," I sarcastically replied.

She narrowed her eyes. "Davina. We only have twenty minutes left in this session and all you have done is stare at the window."

"It's not my fault the rain is weirdly mesmerizing," I stated, pointing to my little droplet friends.

Annalise sighed, removing her squared-shape glasses. "Davina, you always do this when something is on your mind. I want to be your safe place where you feel most comfortable talking about what's bothering you."

I played with the edge of her rundown couch. "Um."

"Does it have to do with your sister? Or Colton?" Annalise innocently asked, but the mention of them plagued my mind with frightful memories.

My hair rose on the back of my neck. Being around Colton never failed to make me feel like dirt. Kasey... had the same feeling, but for something different entirely... There are times when their persistent influences in my life bring me back to my best friend-- alcohol. I hated drinking it. But I hated remembering it more.

"No. It's not them. Colton has been surprisingly quiet these past weeks," I confessed, truthfully hoping to waste every last minute so I could keep neglecting the problem.

She shuffled around, switching onto another piece of paper. I wondered if she had just been doodling because I've been airtight on what's bothering me today.

"What about your boyfriend, Ambrose? Are you guys having problems? I know how difficult it is for you to care for someone since Colton," she kept pondering, trying to break down the two-thousand-inch wall I built.

Having problems? There's never a problem when feelings aren't involved. Luckily, Ambrose and I had stayed strictly business and hadn't fallen into the unknown. Sure, the desire to kiss lingered in the back of my thoughts. But it's because I haven't been able to get laid since this contract was formed.

I'm minutes away from buying a vibrator if it meant the urge to jump Ambrose's bones disappear.

"No. I think we are still in the honeymoon period, almost everything is too good." I spewed up some nonsense so she would elaborate and waste time.

"I see." she pushed her glasses back from the tip of her nose. "Everything is too good? You're afraid of ruining things, aren't you? If you put those thoughts in the universe, it's sure to follow your lead, but a relationship is a two-way street. If you have any worries, speak to him about it."

My hands trembled. "Even if I violated a sign of comfort for the both of us and went behind his back?"

Annalise snapped her finger. "Guilt is written in your eyes. If it's really tearing you from deep inside, release it before you lose yourself to it. This was one of the first lessons I taught you."

I slightly smiled. "Sometimes, I just like hearing it again... It's going to open up things I'm not ready for... I don't want anyone to know about my sister and Colton. It either changes their perception of me or they leave me."

Annalise handed me tissues, and that's when I realized my cheeks were damp from the tears. "You don't have to do anything you're not ready for. Solve the issue with him, and if leads to more if he truly cares for you, he'll understand that you can't speak on it."

With trembling lips, I replied, "And what if he doesn't care? They never do..."

She leaned forward, her hands resting on her lap as her staring burned into my mind. "Davina, when was the last time you even spoke about what happened? Have you actually told someone before misjudging them? It might seem impossible but not everyone is evil in the world and maybe if you give Ambrose the chance... he can prove it to you."

My eyes narrowed at her and opened my mouth to speak, only to be tongue-tied when my thoughts went haywire.

Annalise reached for my hand, her fingers saturated in her favorite cocoa butter hand cream. "Just speak your mind like you always do."

A slight giggle croaked from my throat. "That's what gets me in trouble."

She removed her very moist hand and glanced at her watch. "There are only five minutes left if you have anything important to tell me?" Her eyes glimmered with intrigue like she was a candy store and I was a child desperate for sugar.

I nodded, already getting the idea. "Alright, fine! You convinced me. Ambrose and I got into a little couple's quarrel so as payback, I wanted to embarrass him, but when I answered his phone, it was his mother. He hasn't mentioned her once, and she mentioned he was dodging her calls."

Annalise smiled widely. "Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share. Relationships rely on trusting each other. Keeping lies would only hinder the relationship when they come out because they always do."

Drawing in a deep breath, I nodded. "Ugh, I hate this feeling!"

She couldn't fight back the grin that pulled at her mouth. "What feeling? Is it serious between you guys? I don't really read those papers, they always have the craziest headliners."

My eyes rolled at her observation. "Jesus, I'm just feeling nervous! I don't care what Ambrose does, he can fuck a girl if he wants!"

Her mouth dropped. "Oh?"

Shit! God, Davina, why are you so defensive? I brushed my locks behind my ear with a child-like grin. "I'm joking! Ambrose and I are just enjoying each other's company. The media are always creating some kind of lie."

Annalise sent a thumbs up. "I'm happy for you. After everything you've been through, I hope you can finally have the fairytale you wanted."

I rubbed my brow. "Fuck fairytales! I don't need a Prince Charming when I'm the whole package."

She laughed as her alarm went off. "I strive to have your confidence."

"Thank you for the session." I twirled my hair around my finger. "I think I came up with the best idea because of you."

My solution was a phenomenal idea. There was only one problem-- my pride. I'm never, ever the type to admit I'm sorry, even if it was my fault. When together with Colton, my confidence reached an old-time low, and I lowered myself by repeating, saying sorry for actions he had done.

Finally, when we broke up, I vowed to never lower myself, and forbid myself from saying the word sorry. Today would be an exception to the rule... because I had to make it up to Ambrose. Our relationship has matured as the weeks passed and I wasn't looking forward to returning to the days when he hated me.

My first attempt to kill Ambrose with kindness before ripping off the bandaid was whipping up a Reese pieces cake. Three vanilla bread lay on each other with peanut butter buttercream between them. I used fondue to drape over the cake and make a few decorations. The top of the cake was my favorite part since it had cut up Reese's pieces on it.

If all things failed; I had a jelly donut to fall back on.

Taking a deep breath, I carried the cake out to the hallway and hunted for my fake boyfriend. We weren't scheduled to film an episode today, but the producers called everyone to make content for their youtube videos. From my understatement, Ambrose had to be waiting around to be called in or I would be fucked because there's no way in hell I could face Wes, too.

"Where could this idiot be?" I groaned under my breath as I continued down the hallway.

Snacks room.

No.

Stage.

No.

Dressing room.

No.

He might've well been on Mars because I couldn't find this fucker and the cake was losing its flare. I mentally bumped my head against the wall and felt the ultimate defeat sinking in. When my eyes fluttered open, it was as if spirits heard my prayer and Ambrose was a few feet away. His body fixated on the posterboard filling the hallway as his hand flipped up peanuts into his mouth.

"Hey, bean sprout over there!" I shouted.

Confusion washed over his features when he swung around. "Huh?" he groaned when he connected the dots. "Oh, it's just you."

My chest tightened. I moved forward, then slowly released a deep breath. "L-listen... Um... about the day at the party."

He rubbed the nape of his neck. "The party?"

"You know what happened at the party. When I, umm..." I stuttered, biting my bottom lip.

I had the instincts of a cheetah. If I was in a screaming match with someone, I always won since I'm so quick on my feet. But in front of Ambrose, I suddenly felt like a child having to admit to their parent a bad deed they've done. My armpits could bring the Sahara Desert out of their drought from the way they're sweating.

His brows relaxed as he leaned back and crossed his arms. "What are you talking about?"

A flush of frustrations tingled through me. "I just said..." I dug my fingernails into the palms of my hands to avoid throwing hands at Ambrose, but he certainly tested my patience.

"The day of the party?" he repeated before his eyes shot up. "Oh! I know what you mean. Wow, you are still worried about that?"

My already racing heart was about to explode. "Y-you shut up!" If he knew about this, why hadn't he pointed it out? "What do you expect? I just thought that I should at least say something to you about it."

His pinks lips curled into a knowing smirk. "Don't give it another thought. I swear I won't tell anyone?"

"Yup, you won't tell anyone-- wait what?" My brows knitted together.

His lips pressed into a white slash. "You're bothered by the fat on your stomach, right? I heard you talking about it with Milo."

My face scowled. "Huh?"

"You didn't have to personally make sure I kept my mouth shut," he declared with his shoulders high. "I don't gossip about that sort of stuff, anyway."

My face, neck, and ears became impossibly hot, and my hands froze in place. "That's not... that's not what I'm talking about!"

Ambrose's head tilted to the side, and he pursed his lips. "Besides, I hadn't even told anyone yet, so you don't have to verbally attack me." he jerked his chin towards the cake. "That said, you probably do need to watch your waist. You eat too many sweets, like all the time! You need to show a little more concern for your health and eat your vega-."

A bold of irritation hit me. "Mind your goddamn business!" Angered by fuel, I thrust the cake in his direction and watched it land perfectly on his face. "I freaking can't stand you sometimes!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as I stomped away.

My pride consumed me. How did he hear that private conversation with Milo, anyway? What kind of idiot tells a girl to watch what they're eating. It's like Ambrose was asking to get slapped in the face with cake.

But I had to complete my mission whether I liked it or not.

With a deep sigh, I wandered back to the covered Ambrose, stifling the urge to laugh at the yellow frosting over his face. "Hey! Bean sprout!"

Ambrose wiped his hand over his face, causing the buttercream to fall onto the floor. "What?" annoyance was relevant in his voice. "Still not done?"

I pointed at him. "I'm going to ask you straight up! What are your favorite foods?"

He just stared at me in silence, his eyes scanned interrogatively over my face as he waited for me to crack. "What are you plotting now? Planning to poison me?"

I inhaled sharply to refrain from grabbing the cake on the floor and shoving it in his face again. Why does he make doing a good deed so fucking hard! I'm seconds away from pulling my own hair out!

"Sh-shut up! Just answer the damn question!" I demanded.

He arched an eyebrow up at me, indicating that he was not buying into my claims. "And what are you going to do if I tell you?"

My cheeks heated at his response. "What?" I cleared my throat. "Um well... Fine, whatever it doesn't matter." With a killer smile, I pulled the donut from my pocket, still intact in its wrapper. "Just take this. You like these, don't you?"

Ambrose blinked repeatedly, eyeing the donut with caution as he took it from my hand. "I'm kind of scared now."

I flashed a child-like smile. "Well, how should I put it... take it as a token of gratitude for saving me from Angel." Hopefully, this satisfied him enough to rip the band-aid without too much bloodshed.

He handed it back. "This is grape jelly. I prefer the strawberry kind."

The anger simmered in my gut. "If you're just gonna complain..." The only way to diffuse it without cursing out Ambrose was by snatching the donut from his hand and squeezing it until its life was ended. "Then give it back!"

After embarrassing myself for the second time today, I stomped all the way down the hallway before coming to the realization I couldn't finish this conversation without unleashing the guilt within. Take a five-second breather, Davina, and go makeup with your fake boyfriend.

"Hey, you bean sprout!" I howled instead of a youthful gesture.

He swung around, terror written all over his face. "What's with you today? What's got you so worked up?"

Inner peace. Inner peace. Inner peace.

"I told you! There's something I want to say to you about the night at the party." My chest tightened as the jitters erupted in my gut. Here goes nothing. "Remember how you embarrassed me at the party..."

His brows arched. "Yeah..."

I swallowed. "Well, I wanted to play a little prank by embarrassing you in front of Lana. So when you went to the bathroom... your phone rang... and I thought it was Lana." I played with the ends of my hair, unable to make eye contact. "B-but it wasn't. It was your mother, and she mentioned how she's been trying to reach you for days."

Ambrose released a sigh of relief. "Oh, so that's why you've been acting all strange. I almost thought you got bit by the love bug."

I stifled a giggle. "As if! You wish! The thought of having to kiss you one day still haunts my dreams."

"Don't worry, I know how to charm a woman." he winked.

Ignoring his flirting, I stated through gritted teeth, "I'm very, very sorry about violating your privacy. We haven't really discussed things further than surface level about our families and I didn't mean to pry and find out about your strained relationship. I just want you to know I'm here if you need someone to talk about it."

Remedy. Relief bolted through me as the word vomit escaped my mouth. All the guilt, nerves, shame dissolved into the newfound feeling-- happiness. It might be short-lived once the truths behind Ambrose's dysfunctional family were revealed, but I did something different for a chance.

This was a sorry, I'll always be proud about.

"It's not really a secret." he ran his hands through his hair, a flicker of defeat flashing across his face. "It's not something I'm proud to shout into the world, but it's life. It helped shape the person I am today. The only reason I haven't told you was because there was never a right time."

My hands played with the button on my shirt.

He rolled his lips in, thinking over his next words carefully before he revealed them in the heart-pounding baritone. "Did you ever wonder why I have a scar on my cheek?"

Everything inside of me came to a complete standstill. My breathing. My thoughts. My pulse. I don't even think I'm blinking anymore as I stared wide-eyed, falling into the brown of Ambrose's eyes as his question echoed on a never-ending loop in my head.

I remembered the night of the Halloween party when we lay on the mats, our faces inches from each other. The scar was one of the things that captured my attention. I thought maybe he got it from trying to impress Lana and embarrassing himself like a goofball. But his words sent a chilling slither down my spine.

He exhaled a shaky breath. "I would never forget that day... I came home from second grade excited to show my parents the painting I made. It's kinda funny, it's still hung up in my room like a permanent reminder. " He kept his gaze low as he spoke, and sat against the wall.

Ambrose patted the spot beside him, and I quickly took it.

"My mother was cooking dinner for us. She could barely walk, let alone cook, I had to bring her over to the couch before she hurt herself." he swallowed, as though the words were difficult to say. "My father stormed in, guns blazing. Because of his excessive drinking, he was laid off work, just my luck right?"

His eyes pierced deeply through my own and flickered nervously as though he was contemplating whether or not to finish the story.

"I didn't sense the tension in the room when my parents started fighting, it was such a constant thing and they always made up almost instantly. So, I jumped around the living room wanting attention for the picture I drew. My father got ticked off when the photo showcased him in his business suit. So he beat me. He beat me until my mother found the courage to push him, it was the only time she ever did."

Tears sprung in my eyes.

"Everything afterward is hazy. I spent two weeks in the hospital, I don't know what bullshit lie my parents fed to the doctors but no one batted an eyelash. They weren't always like that but the memories were so scarcely, they might as well have been. The second I turned eighteen, and had enough money saved, I left." he mumbled in a vulnerable tone slicing right through my heart.

I gave his hand a soft squeeze. "You're amazing, you know that? Not many people can go through things like this and stay like themselves. Sometimes people lose themselves since they're so broken."

"I'm not that amazing." he laughed, lightly. "I just knew if I stayed there, I wouldn't make it... whether that meant in life or just being alive. Lana also helped, she came over after a daily session of my father's beating. She pushed me into finding a better future for myself."

Lana was truly amazing. All this time, I called Ambrose pathetic because of his deep feelings for this one girl, but she shined the light when he needed to most. I envied her; I wanted to be someone's light, someone's love, someone's happiness. Lana truly deserved to be admired by everyone.

He hung his head low, and his shoulders shook as he silently sobbed. His eyes were branded with an overwhelming amount of shame, and my heart bled for him. He had to bear the weight of his father's beating for so long.

"I-I-I always thought maybe it was my fault for that day... that I deserved it for making him upset. Maybe if I didn't draw the picture, this cycle wouldn't have started. I don't know if I can find it in myself to forgive them. I gave them two chances already, and they repeated the cycle over again, taking all my hope with them."

"Ambrose," I whispered as I reached out and lifted his chin, so his sorrowful eyes rested on mine.

"Why on earth would you think it was your fault? No matter what something would have triggered your father, it could've been anything. It had absolutely nothing to do with you. You're truly the bravest person I know," I explained gently. Fear shone in his eyes as more tears ran down his cheek.

"That's why I stay away from drinking, I'm scared I'll turn into them. I lost it before after a drinking session, I didn't physically harm anyone but my words were disgusting... It's taken months to even forgive myself for that day," he whispered.

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled his large torso against mine, as his body shook with sobs as he broke down against me. He hesitated for a few seconds before returning the hug and pulled me tighter against him.

"All I ever wanted was a family," he croaked.

"If you would, I could be your family? We're fake dating and all."

He chuckled lightly. "I'll love that..."

And from this day forward...

I started looking at Ambrose differently...

Love has an odd way of sneaking up on you.

Ahhh I really really loved writing this chapter! I'm sucker for sweet moments through times like this! I hope you guys enjoyed the vulnerability shown from each character!

Love you guys !!! Can't wait to read your comments!!