It was raining.

It was cold.

There was a boy

In a room

Quiet sobs escaped his mouth

But not the closed door.

He lost anything

And everything.

Through his fake smile his soul was ripping apart

Through his laugh he was dying inside

Nobody knew

Nobody saw

Nobody cared

Until it was too late

But he did...

Perhaps a little too much

And it

Killed

Him

~

"Dude, markpelier is awesome," Qibli said as he sat next to Umber. He quickly stabbed his hamburger meat and swallowed it whole.

"Eat your bread," Kinkajou said as she pointed at the untouched buns. She tugged on her freshly dyed hair as looked around her wildly. "Bro, where's my boyfriend?"

"Turtle?" Umber tilted his head as Qibli handed him a pair of headphones. "I think he was in the library."

Qibli eyed Kinkajou with a pitiful smile. "You might want to keep an eye on your Turtle," he whispered. "He's been talking to...what's her name...Dora lately."

Moon laughed as she took a bite out of her sandwich. "Dora? Seriously, Qibli? It's Sora!"

Kinkajou's eyes widened. "You think he's cheating on me?!" She said, surprisingly calm. Calm meant bad when it came to Kinkajou.

"What Qibli means...I think...is to keep out an extra eye just for case," Umber chirped, giving Qibli a look. "But everyone knows Turtle loooves you." He said it sadly, stealing a glance at his friend before he stared firmly at his lunch. "Like, everyone."

Kinkajou huffed. "If he's doing something, I swear—"

Moon felt her eyes widen in alarm. "Kink, my friend, Turtle can talk to anyone he likes, but that doesn't mean he has special feelings or anything! You know he only sees you," she added as she pushed her hair over her shoulder.

"Well, he better not." Kinkajou pouted, picking at her veggie salad. "We got engaged and everything in Algebra class. We're going to have a girl twins and a boy. We have our entire future planned out!"

"Ummmm," Qibli said. "Okay. That's totally not weird at all."

"Look at you!" Kinkajou glared fiercely at Qibli. "Everyone knows you and Umber like each other. It's like, a fact."

Uh-oh. Qibli's eyes widened. Moon refused to look up from her sandwich. Her water was left untouched.

Umber blushed as he suddenly stood up. "We don't like each other," he muttered as he left the table with headphones on, the wire dangling behind him. He seemed extremely horrified.

"Trust me, you guys are going to make out, like, tomorrow," Kinkajou argued at a crimson Qibli. "I already have a ship name for it, for goodness's sake. Umbli, bro! My OTP!"

Moon felt Qibli's eyes on her, burning a hole through her forehead. Yet she refused to look up.

Qibli had admitted he liked her a few months ago, the night before Winter killed himself. That was when Winter saw them, and everything was ruined.

Qibli abruptly stood up. "I guess I'll have to go see Umber. He's probably embarrassed out of his mind."

"Yeah," Moon mumbled. Kinkajou just rolled her eyes.

As Qibli left, Kinkajou turned to her abruptly. "Moon, my PIC—"

"I'm not your partner in crime, Kink," she replied. "I have absolutely no interest in being your—"

"I'm not going to make up a ship name for Turtle and Sora because obviously nobody ships them together. Turtlejou forever!" Kinkajou whispered loudly. She seemed furious. Some people turned to them, and Moon ducked her head. "Let's go stalk them now."

She looked up, her lips slowly forming a smile.

"Okay, maybe I am your partner in crime."

~

Graceful as the moon, as strong as the sun

You were fire, and that killed you.

"Welcome to your tape, Carnelian Arete"

~

Does the name Carnelian Arete sound familiar to you?

It should.

She was the girl that died in the explosion. By there's so much to the story.

Thirteen sides to every story, remember? Don't you ever forget that.

Now back to you, dear Carnelian. You and I don't really know each other, even now.

Sure, we knew each other's existence. We went to the same school. But that was about it.

I mean, everyone knew you. The athletic girl that was impossibly rich. We went out a couple dates because we were in the same hierarchy. My friends liked you, recommended you for me, but I guess we both didn't really think about it.

At that age, dating wasn't much of a deal. To be honest, I didn't even think much about it. I doubt you did, either.

You were the warm, athletic girl with pale skin and red hair. You were strong. You were in the volleyball team. Everyone knew you. Everyone likes you. They cheered for you. You were pretty much the Jade High's symbol.

You had the nickname of Firegirl.

We did share a few kisses or whatever, but we didn't think much about each other. You probably kissed a boy every other night. I mean, you could.

I wasn't interested, and neither were you.

My friends, this isn't a love story. It's the opposite of that. You know, if you're wondering.

It's a story of death.

What did she do to you, then? You may ask.

Nothing.

It's what I did to her.

It happened in a day or spring.

A beautiful day, with birds soaring into the sky, songs in the air. The promise of spring. I had visited the park, read for some time, then was coming back home in the dark when I heard a small BOOM.

It was an explosion.

I ran to the direction. I picked you up from your house a couple times, so I knew the way. How did I know it was you? Instinct, maybe. Or a sick feeling.

When I finally reached there, gasping for breath, a small part of the house was on fire.

And so we're you.

I hesitated, because I was scared. Yes, I admit it. I was too scared. But a few minutes later I did go in. But by that time the entire house was on fire. By that time it was too late.

As I went in, I wished for something.

I wished that you were alive.

...You weren't.

Wishes are stupid things. Hope is all they give you. Mine never came true, anyways.

So, Firegirl, I hope you're listening to this where ever you're in. Wherever dead people go.

I wish I was in your place. So many people mourning for you and your family. In rest without worry. No need to face life. If there was in fact a Heaven, you would be there.

Without having to need to face the fact I could have stopped it.

I could have saved you.

Really.

It was an accident you died.

You weren't the target.

Someone else was.

The burns I had on my arms and legs...nobody even knew about it. Nobody noticed, anyway. Not my friends. Not my family. Not my school.

I could be the one in your grave. Have you ever considered that? I could have been the one in the explosion. And I would switch it if I had the chance. I really would. Because I owe you that much.

Wishes.

They make me feel better and angry. Wishes don't come true. Because fate gave me the opposite of what I asked for.

They never come true.

I'm sorry I hesitated before I went in. Because, guess what? The doctor said a few days later that, if I had gotten there a second quicker...I would have saved you.

It's amusing how one second can change everything. How much pain they bring. How much regrets.

I'm a coward.

I killed you, Carnelian.

And that kills me.

I wish I was brave enough...But wishes don't come true. And I'm too scared, too broken, to prove it wrong.

I hope you liked your tape, Firegirl.

~

I hope you guys liked it :)