i'm only escaping myself- not my mind. death seems to be the only option out of this ; i can't handle it anymore. Life is beating me down-
your stupid floating man in the sky has abandoned me, so i have abandoned him in return. I kept my grip fastened to the sleeve of my old friend,  Adam. He has the most calming grey eyes, and gives a hug that helps me through any uncertainty. There might have been a time where he had let me slip away, but he always came back. I've known him since i was about six or seven, he is much older then me but he has always been there to save me from myself. He knew exactly what i was thinking, exactly. He moved his arm from my grip and gently wrapped his arms around me, pushing my head to his chest.
                  " Hey," he whispered, " Slow it down."  he shifted his position and turned me to face him, and him to face me and fluffed up a pillow sitting next to me.
" You have to realize you won't live here forever." keeping his voice down, " you need to realize that you will be free from this hell you live in soon, sweetheart." the pain of the normal casualties in life haunt me, still, to this day as the earbuds, of his blissful voice,of my past were ripped away from me. Sweet tears falling down my face, to only realize Adam was never there- only the pillow that i treated as if it were him. The reality is a painful thing that you need to survive in- you will never live, only survive.