The greatest grief is the grief of letting go.

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"Julia, the poor girl is that you?"

Control yourself
You cannot kick her,  especially when she is pregnant.

"And what are you doing here in this car? From where you have stolen it?"

You know what?

Fuck it!

"Oh, my darling, I have gifted it to myself," and then I took out my sunglasses and wore them quickly, in a manner which will make her mouth hang open forever.

"Don't call me darling!" She sounded painfully ill, the lines on her forehead were firmed and her face was paler than ever before.

"Of course Sarah! How can you be a darling when you are a bitch at the same time," I fake laughed at her.

"Laugh all you want on me, but the reality is not going to change, now see here babe,  I am pregnant with Neel's child, he is the father of my child,"

And then she vanished, her car was not there, she vanished as she never existed before, as she was only present in my memory, however, my eyes were burning for different reasons.

She is pregnant with Neel's child!

So they are still together and he was trying to do the same thing which he did five years back.

He is just playing with my emotions, maybe he has come to demolish me so that he can take his revenge insulting him.

How pathetic he is!

Here I was thinking he still have something for me, the way he looks at me, the way he is there for me, but I was wrong so wrong.

As always my heart became a fool of his unsaid love.

I remember what My grandpa's use to say, remember Julia a true love never dies, it always finds its ways to reach out to its partner, to that connected soul which always suffers.

He never had anything for me, he never loved me then why expect something from me.

The letters he wrote to me were in vain, every time he used to look at me to engrave my soul even closer to him, just to make me more weak, weak in love.

I started driving, but my mind was already lost and it started raining heavily again in the streets of Delhi.

Delhi was also burning in temptation and my heart has always been at the core of it.

I wanted to run, laugh, scream, and cry at the same time, there was so much inside my heart and nothing coming out, I am so full of sensitivity and no gratitude to find in.

I somehow managed to reach my home, where no one was there and  I was completely drenched in water due to my sudden outburst in the middle of the road.

"Oh, by the way, Julia is that you?"  I heard footsteps and then I saw Neel. He was tall, wearing the blue suit, calmly matching it with the colour of his eyes. And then his eyes landed on me. The disdain on him was there.

For a bare second, he just looked at me from head to toe, my wet figure, suddenly the room temperature increased, his gaze was so intense that it could even put mountains on flame.

Then he started taking footsteps. I was breathing hard, he was too, I can feel it in every inch of my body.

"Julia..." Then he took out my name, perfectly rolling on her tongue, making me more smitten to his presence.

"Julia I want to say something to you,"

"Yes, even I want to express myself," I heard myself saying. My body was not in charge it was moving towards him, he looked at me, our eyes met again,

"I love you,"

"I despise you!"

What did he say he loves me? Oh yes, why not? He has the guts to make a woman pregnant then confess his feelings for another woman.

"What??"

And now, he can not believe what he heard, that I despise him!

"Yes. You heard me! I hate you, wait, hate is a smaller word to express myself I loathe you, you are so full of disdain and arrogance, I cannot even stand a word against you, you would be the last man to hear something from me! You heard me, Mr Neel Malhotra, I loathe you, everything about you, the way you look at me, trying to make me uncomfortable, by proving yourself the biggest jerk on the earth and I despise  you for doing that,"

He moved closer, her eyes were dull and dark and they were on my lips, he tried to look into my eyes, then onto my lips, we were just a kiss away from each other, our breathing was heavy, the rain was outside, streaming on street, the rain was inside burning everything in its agony.

But before I could push him Arnav appears by my side, and Neel was already a respectable distance away from me.

"Are you okay," he put his coat on my shivering figure. I was continuously rubbing my hands now because I was cold from the inside, nothing could make me melt now. I have lost all the insanity in me.

"Here let me see you,"

Then Arnav stared at me for a long moment, his eyes were on me, he took a step closer, I took a step back.

My mind, my heart was telling me to run away from here, but I didn't. He was my fiancee after all.

In just fours days, we will get married,
He slightly stroked my lower lip from the thumb.

He leaned to kiss me, and I looked at the same person, his eyes were red, he was already fuming in anger.

So, I did what you shouldn't have ever done. Not until I was alive! To make it more clear to Neel that he cannot play with me anymore, I took a step forward, and then I placed my lips over Arnav's

I have no idea what came over me, he must be waiting for that moment for so long, that's why he was so quick to give a response.

He deepen the kiss with his force, and I cannot do this, so I asked him to stop and then I ran away to my room.

Tears started flowing shamelessly throughout, making me burn, even more, to think what I did?

"I know you hate me, can't even stand me, and I would be the last man you may want to love, but this is the last letter I wrote for you, make sure you read it on time."

I was already looking outside the room window, to the moon, the moon was alone and ashamed. Alone because it has always been the only one in the night, and ashamed because of lovers sin.

I heard his footsteps, maybe I am never going to see him again, maybe I am going to marry Mr Arnav Mehra peacefully, and maybe I will regret it forever.

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This is a late update I know.

I was so busy, but now I am back again

Xoxo💖