I feel empty constantly. So constant that I'm unable to recall exactly what was the last time I feel empty. Luckily, I don't feel it right now.

Second thought, I just did...

I usually sense the emptiness clouded my mind when I'm alone. The state of loneliness makes everyone feel empty and hollow, not just me. Being alone is the easiest way for my mind to feel empty, because there is no one here with me, no need to express emotion towards others or involve in conversation requiring my brain to work.
Being alone doesn't give me a chance to truly be myself, like normal people. It let my subconscious to drift into a nowhere land, where no emotional things exist. I sense a blur, and that's it. My emptiness. I am no longer capable of conceiving idea and feeling. Just for a while, then I'm back to the regular me.

The latest time that I was alone and be able to feel empty was just the day before yesterday, I guess. I was watching some random videos on Facebook and there my mind was, drifting into nothingness. My eyes were still attached to the screen, and I was still aware that it was a video about baking cupcakes. However, if you had been there with me and looked at my face, you'd have seen that dead, blank pair of pupils staring at the phone screen, showing no sign of interest in the vid content.
Yeah, that was me feeling empty.

There were other times I feel empty even when I'm surrounded by people. Mostly I, deliberately, blank my mind every time I'm with my relatives. I don't know abou you, but  I see no string attach between me and my relatives, beside our bloodline. That's why I don't get on well with my family, and I feel the emptiness while with them, just to not being dragged into their chat. Honestly, I think I'm doing them a favor, because creating a dialogue with me, if you're not my friends, is damn hard. Just like my last family reunion, I barely said a word, only open my mouth to answer several questions. I like to embrace emptiness at that specific time, so please don't try to waste your energy on catching up with me. Especially if you're my relatives.

There you have it: my feeling empty story. Now if you excuse me, I'm going back to the empty side of my brain. Peace!

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