"But I'm only human, And I bleed when I fall down, I'm only human, And I crash and I break down, Your words in my head, knives in my heart, You build me up, and then I fall apart, 'Cause I'm only human, yeah" Christina Perri ~ Human

Foxes play Carly

Carly Benson,

I did not think our friendship would be torn apart by one boy. Sure, we weren't best friends, or the best of friends, but I suppose lately, I've gotten into too many fistifights with my friends upon the topic of men.

However, my time of shifting the blame on others have come to an end. It was, after all, my fault.

I know you may hate me, but please, don't look away in disgust yet. Give me a chance to explain.

At this point, I still haven't gone over Luke yet. Then again, something inside me began to break, slowly.

Jake has nothing to do with this, so I really hope you get back together. You see, Jake and you reminded me so damn much of Luke and I when we were happy together. The bitch inside me invited you and your boyfriend to sit at my table, with Jasmine and Colette. And yes, I did purposely sit next to Jake. And as we were all talking about loyalty and whatnot, I made sure you were looking the other way, before I leaned in and kissed Jake quickly. Col and Jas hadn't seen the kiss but you did.

And why did I feel so delighted over causing somebody misery?

It was then when I realized: I was a monster.

Somehow, through my depression, I had thrived on the misery and pain of others; the very thing I was drowning in.

But Carly, I do understand why you coughed the word "slut" whenever I was around, and I do know why you started rumors claiming I was a bitch.

You were definitely right about the second one.

I was as bitch.

Well, to be fair, Jake had soft lips so...

I can just imagine you seething at this letter, but now you know where to spit on the grave now.

I don't mine, because I know it's my fault, and perhaps this was one of the reasons I killed myself: To stop the parasitic beast from killing everyone I know.

Best Wishes from the girl you think is a bitch,

Natalie Palmer