Put your mushy sunglasses on cuz you're gonna say a lot of awwwns with hearts in your eyes.

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As she recuperate at home waiting for  her heart to make peace with the fact that her lost memories are back, Rufaidah keep studying her books and making sure that she never miss a prayer or her lessons with the Islamic teacher. Ummi is always keeping her company after she comes home from school and she spend most nights with her whenever she complain of a headache. Zuby and Hajar visit her any chance they get.

She  haven't seen Al'amin since that night at the hospital neither has he replied her text message. She has so many questions to ask him, so many puzzles she wants to put in place but she vowed to never contact him until he do so himself. He has to man up and stop being a coward if indeed he truly cares about her. Yaya shams knocked on her door bringing her out of reverie.

"Got a minute sis ?" He asked coming in with a gift bag in his hands.

"When am I ever busy for you bro?" She joked tapping a space beside her on the lush carpet for him to sit.

"How are you feeling?" He enquired looking at her with so much love.

"Am okay now bros, the headaches hardly even come these days. I will resume work on Monday in shaa Allah. I've missed Mama and everyone too, so I'll visit them during the weekend" She replied toying with her ring.

"Alright, may Allah spare our lives till then" he replied suddenly looking nervous.

"You got something on your mind? You look nervous" she observed.

"Mhmm please don't get mad until you hear me out okay? I know you're an adult and everything and I'm not your father but just know that I will always have your best interest at heart and never hurt you no matter what" he rambled confusing her more.

"Okay shoot! I will hear you out"

"There is this close friend of mine that has been in love with you for a long time. He is scared that you might turn him down and he wouldn't be able to mend his broken heart that is why he asked me to speak to you first before he contact you. He is a good guy and one of the best out there and I trust him enough to know that he will never hurt you, not intentionally at least. He will be coming tonight so please give him a chance, if you don't like him don't hesitate to say so okay ?" Rufaidah was shocked to the extent that she left her mouth hanging open the moment Shams started rambling about someone liking her. She burst into a fit of laughter clutching her stomach.

"You can't be serious bros, you're so terrible at being funny. Yahsalaam! Are you that bored to pull off a lame joke like this?" She said in between fits of laughter. It was Sham's turn to be surprised.

"Am not joking Rufy  I am as serious as I've ever been with you. Why will I even joke like this ? We are talking about a prospective future husband for you. I want to take you away from this house, the bitter memories and negativity surrounding it and I can only do that by marrying you off to someone who loves you for the sake of Allah, someone whom am sure will take good care of you and help you heal. I can't continue beating myself for seeing you sad and trying so hard to act strong when I can do something to ease your pain"

"You think marriage will miraculously solve my problems? You think by just being in love or having someone that loves me will turn the world into a fairy land for me ? Am a mess Yaya Shams, nothing or no one can ever change that except Allah. Besides, I am so broken to give any part of myself to anyone, I don't know anything about family relationships and values. I have three brothers I haven't seen in ages, parents that have gone MIA for months, a gaping hole in my heart for the loss of a brother and  best friend. How do you expect me to be married and stay happy? Wouldn't it be unfair to my partner?" She wailed flailing her arms in frustration.

"People lose the people they love every second of everyday and life goes on. You will make a terrific wife because am sure you're not going to make the same mistakes our parents made. You're gonna  have beautiful kids and love them wholly and truly not holding anything back. You're going to be a good wife to your husband he will praise and pray for you every waking day of his life. You, Rufaidah are the kindest person I've ever met in my life. Stop discrediting yourself Sis, you're worth more than you can ever know and he loves you after knowing all this. Just give him a chance, if you are not okay with him I promise to not force or guilt trip you into saying yes" He smiled at her, handing her a tissue to wipe her tears. She cries a lot these days like a pregnant woman with hormones everywhere.

"And who is this friend of yours that I have never seen before and you're vouching for with your life"

"That's for you to find out later. I bought some of your favorite chocolates for you. Dress like the queen that you are" he winked, handed her the gift and sauntered out, her words of protest trailing behind him. She will forever be thankful for Shams for shining light into her life and spoiling her rotten with gifts and unconditional love.

After thinking about what transpired between her and Shams, Rufaidah made ablution and offered two units of  nawafil salah seeking for Allah's guidance in her affairs and saying the istikhara du'a before saying the salaam. She called Zuby who is now her confidante and she gave her the green light to see the guy.

"Don't give him a murderous look and scare him off before he can even introduce himself. Act nice and coy, that kind of thing you know" she chided playfully.

"Slow down woman! What is that kind of thing ? And when have I ever given any guy a murderous glare ?"

"Hello! Have you recently seen your face when guys are a mile close to you? If you haven't please do so and tell me how scary that look is" she said in a sing song voice.

"Even though I have no idea what you're talking about, let me pretend that I do. I will not act shy and coy like a newly wedded bride or someone who is in love" she said before clicking off the call. She realized that she is nervous and anxious to meet the mysterious guy so she forced herself to sleep to while away time and settle her nerves before time.

The Muslim pro Adhan woke her with a start. She uttered some du'as then headed to the washroom to perform ablution. After saying her prayers and azhkars she goes to the kitchen to warm the leftover suya Yaya Shams brought home the other night.

"Hajjah good evening, I sniff something delish cooking " she cheerily greeted hajja who's busy in  the kitchen  with a groggy voice.

"Your brother said a guest is coming over so I should make something delicious" Hajja replied stirring the soup.

"Oh" was all she could say before opening the freezer to bring out the suya.

"Hope Ummi is studying hard? She looks pretty occupied these days" She asked in an attempt to make small conversation.

"She's studying very hard I think it's too much. Whenever she's not with you, she is in our room studying. You changed her life Rufaidah, may Allah reward you in abundance. That girl has gone through so much and you're making her life worthy" Hajja replied giving Rufaidah a tender motherly look.

"Alhamdulillah. May Allah crown her efforts with success" she replied tapping her hands on the island nervously.  After she was discharged, she called her former nanny and they offered the financial support they could, telling her to not hesitate to ask for more whenever the need arise. She was so grateful she keeps thanking them and showering prayers on them.

"What will you like to have for dinner. we made poundo with egusi soup for Shamsu" Hajja asked.

"I don't feel like eating something heavy Hajjah. Keep it for me tho, I might feel hungry later" she replied removing the bowl from the oven.

"Tell Ummi to take it easy please, I will come later to check up on her"

She relished her suya washing it down with a cup of chilled orange juice before logging into twitter to laugh her heart out over people savaging each other for no good reason. You're never right on twitter, someone will always find fault and insult you for  that. It's pointless going over the feeds but she is bored and actually don't have much friends to chat with on WhatsApp. Yaya Sham's call came through a few minutes after Ishaa.

"Hello" she greeted, trying to act like she didn't know what the call is about.

"Hi, your guest is here come out" he said with a hint of humor in his voice.

"Which guest? I don't get you" she decided to pull his leg.

"You madam cannot begin to play with my intelligence. You either come down or I'll come and carry you myself. Trust me I'll go to that extent. Save us both the hassle and come out ".

Seeing no need to apply anything to make herself more presentable, she removed her comfortable Tee and leggings and wore a boubou lace adorned with stones with a matching veil. She spritzed cologne on her body and sauntered out after taking her phone. She was busy typing a message to Zuby not minding her surrounding as she went straight for the door until she heard a loud ahem coming from somewhere in the living room.

"Rufaidah" A familiar voice called out and she whirled around to see him looking at her as if she's the only thing worthy to be looked at in the world. He looked handsome in a kaftan with cap that fits him perfectly.

"Ahh it's you, good evening how have you been and everyone?" She greeted nervously willing for him to let her go and meet her guest before Shams comes for her head.

"Am good Alhamdulillah" he replied not making any attempt to dismiss her.

"Yaya Shams is inside, you can go to his room and meet him. I am heading out. Extend my regards to the family" she said and headed out not waiting for him to say anything further. She didn't see any new car in their lot so she decided to peep outside only to find an empty street.

"Malam Tanko has anyone come into this house?" She asked  the security guard sounding a tad bit confused.

"No ma'am, only your brother and his friend came in since morning " he replied. She waited for ten more minutes before going back to the house. She saw Shams in the living room giving her a sly smile.

"Yaya Shams" she whined, stomping her legs.

"What happened, haven't you seen your visitor yet? Are you sure you're not turning blind?" He teased.

"I knew you were  pulling a prank on me. Congrats on your one and only victory against me, don't start crying when I retaliate because it won't be good" she said aiming for his cup of water to take a sip.

"Didn't you see a breathing being when you came out from your room?" He raised a brow in question.

"Nope, only Yaya Al'amin and I told him to meet you in your room" she replied flopping down on the couch.

"Dress nicely yen yen yen, thank God I didn't entirely fall for your tricks" she mimicked his voice.

"Okay calm down tigress. You know all my close friends don't you? I never know that your brain is slow in processing things as common as realising that my very close friend can't be anyone other than Al'amin or Hafeez"

Rufaidah keeps looking at him not wanting to believe her ears. "Am so done with your antics Bro. Have a good night and I hope you have a terrible nightmare with zombies making a feast out of your brain"

"Not too fast dear, you haven't made any acquaintance with your soon to be uhm uhm" turning to Al'amin who haven't uttered a word since she came in, he said " Don't be scared, she won't bite and don't take too much of her time, she is still sick" with that being said he whistled and left a dumbfounded Rufaidah and an amused Al'amin who is trying so hard not to laugh despite his nerves.

"Noor"He whispered and a chill zing through her body. She thanked God she was sitting for she might lose her balance and fall. She didn't acknowledge the name neither say anything further for long agonising seconds.

"How are you?" He asked in a voice she can swear isn't his if not because he's sitting right adjacent to her and he is the only person in the room. She noticed that a small feast had been served in front of him.

"I am fine Alhamdulillah. You?" She replied willing for anything to happen that will save her from the most awkward situation in her life. She has never had a suitor, she doesn't even know how people in love act around each other except from what she read in books and watch in movies. It's frigging Yaya Al'amin, her best friend's brother and brother's best friend.

"I am fine too. Mama sends her regards" he replied nervously tangling and untangling his fingers.

"I am sorry for everything" he started looking as if he wants to be anywhere but there. Rufaidah wanted laugh at his own expense even though she feels as nervous as him if not more. What he is apologizing for she has no idea on and she chose not to ask just to spite him.

"To tell you the truth, I have been in love with you long before I know what love is or how it feels like. I gave you the nickname Noor because you are the light in my life. Whenever I see you, I feel happy, I feel free and content and I feel like am home. You were this cute adorable girl with so much light and love in her heart, the way you interact with Musayyib makes me picture you with my kids, you're always giving and not expecting anything in return.

Before we went abroad to study, I informed Mama that I think am in love with you and she should not tell a soul about it. Imagine the heartbreak I went through when I learned that you lost Musayyib and your memories all together. I called you Noor and you didn't even bat an eye, you become bitter, haughty and disrespectful so I distance myself from you because it breaks my heart every time I see you. I used to picture your innocence, beautiful speech and love for salah. You never miss a prayer Noor, you fight with whoever doesn't pray in your uncle's house" he paused, sip water and continued.

"I wanted to tell you my feelings and intention before Reedah was diagnosed but I couldn't muster the courage to do that because I am scared you will turn me down. I chose to love you from a distance with a scalding heart over what you're going through. I love you Noor, always have, always will. I love you for the sake of one for whose sake we love and I promise to in shaa Allah never hurt you. Please consider me and love me too. Don't feel shy to say no, I will never forgive myself if I force you to reciprocate my feelings. Don't consider Reedah, Mama or Baba, they love you for you not for my sake and they will keep loving you even if we don't work out"  he released a deep sigh like a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders.

He looked up to Rufaidah whose face is drenched with tears "Subhanallah Noor what is wrong with you? Hope my words didn't hurt you ? I am really sorry please stop crying I will take back all the things I've said" he frantically asked leaving his seat to sit beside her. She sniffed unable to form any coherent word as he patiently waited for her to calm down. He handed her his handkerchief to wipe her eyes.

"Thank you for loving an empty shell like me, thank you for not giving up on me when you had the chance to. Your family have always had my back right from day one. You are a good man, you have a good heart and you deserve better, you deserve a woman who is whole, someone who will treat you right" she wiped another tear before she continued.

"I want nothing but good for your entire family because you've done so much for me and my brother. We can't ever thank you enough and I can't be selfish to want to have you even though you love me, marriage is not a contract with terms and conditions and termination date, it's meant to be for life and I can't keep you happy neither will I agree to make you miserable"

Al'amin waited for her to say more, when she didn't he realized that she is done giving him her flimsy and baseless excuses.

"I love you Noor, I want you broken and all. If you think I'm flawless then you have a huge surprise coming your way. This life isn't perfect, no one is and no one can ever be no matter how hard they try. I am willing to stand by you and help you mend the broken pieces of your heart, I want to be with you as you get your life back together. I have seen the way you've changed the past few months and believe me when I tell you that my Noor is back, the Noor we knew, loved and adored is back, you never even left. So drop your flimsy excuses because they will never scare me away from you. I'm sorry for being a coward by the way, I was just scared to get hurt if the person I love the most after my family chooses to turn me down but right now I am willing to take the risk.

You can take all the time you need to decide if you're willing to have me. I will wait for as long as it takes." He said in a soothing voice which sounded like a lullaby to her ears, his word reassured her and ignite something in her heart; a hope for a better future, a hope that she can also be happy and lead a happy life. He poured water in a tumbler and passed it to her urging her with his eyes to drink up. She drank it up welcoming the soothing effect it had on her dry throat and boiling chest.

"It's getting late. Thank you so much for the food and your time. Don't think too much okay? I will be waiting for your answer. I love you" he didn't even wait for her reply before he walked out, leaving with his warmth and cool scent that she surprisingly started to miss. She stood there for what seemed like forever before finally going up to her room. It's going to be a very long night because she has every intention of pouring out her heart and needs to Allah in sujood.

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Guess what guys? This chapter is 3398 words long and I typed it in one go. I am less busy and in no mood to blast my brain with books and what not. Say a prayer for me if you enjoy this chapter.

Shukran jazeel🤗