As usual... Not edited🙈

For someone who find solace in solitude, Rufaidah wished for nothing than to open her eyes, find out that she is in a very crowded place and what is replaying her head is a mere nightmare she will never get back to. The emotions, the feelings and everything playing like PowerPoint slides are to intense for her to put up with.

She keeps gasping for air, wanting to escape, desperately seeking for a relief from everything. Yet, she want to see it all, she wants to capture the glimpses of her early days as a person, she wants to pin point those moments that everyone was talking about when she used to be nice and kind and adorable, she want to capture the missing puzzles  in her life so as to become an entity, someone she recognises. She wants to know why she was bitter, what turned her life upside down and what kind of monsters her parents were.

At a point in time, she gave up hope and succumbed to the darkness as a form of reprieve.

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Mama woke up to unusual sounds at dawn only to find Rufaidah writhing in pain and gasping for air. She hurriedly called the attention of a nurse who came in with a Dr in tow.

"What's happening Doc? Will she be alright ? What's going on?" Mama asked in agitation.

"Don't worry ma'am. She is going to be fine. Please just step out for a bit I'll call you back in when the coast is clear" Mama nodded then wake Ummi only to go to the waiting area to find Al'amin sleeping in an uncomfortable position.

"Stubborn coconut head" Mama mumbled before waking him.

He gave her a guilty smile rubbing his eyes to clear off the sleep. "Good morning Mama. What's wrong ? What happened to Rufaidah?" He asked. Mama informed him before they all left to the masjid to say the early morning prayers. Shams had came back the other night but he was forced to go home by mama not knowing that his friend is still lurking around in the hospital.

Hajjah and Shams arrived at the hospital by 7am with breakfast for everyone. He looks like he did not get a wink of sleep at all.

"Did you inform your parents ?" Mama asked , wiping her mouth with a tissue.

"I couldn't reach them. Maybe they left Dublin. I left Daddy a message though" he replied heatedly, looking as if he is going to punch something or someone, whoever is unfortunate to come close to him first.

"They have the right to know Shams. Please tell them" Mama saw right through his lie. How can he not reach them in this era of technological advancement?

"I'm sorry I lied. You caught me as always" he mumbled before dialing Hajiya Aisha's number. After greeting her, he told her that Rufaidah had been admitted and it has almost been a day since she went unconscious.

"Subhanallah! What happened to my baby?  how much do you need to give her the best medical care? Will she be alright" she rambled in an exaggerated panic, each word boiling Sham's heart. He clenched his fists, taking deep slow breaths before saying "we are good, we don't need a dime from you. I thought you should know being the one who bore her in your womb but I'm wrong about you every damn time. You will never change Mommy, I'll soon take her away from you before you break her entirely " she started to say something but he couldn't spare her a second more of his time.

Al'amin held Shams by his shoulders offering the only comfort he can think of at the moment. He knows his friend too much to know that he can start crying to let out his pain. Mama wasn't surprised at whatever Aisha did to elicit such kind of reaction from Shams. She knows him better than his own mother, she can puff out her chest anywhere, anytime claiming that she literally raised shams along with her other children. He is a good man, with good, pure and selfless intentions for his family but Aisha is too far gone to realize that her children may be the salvation she needed in her doomed life. She muttered a silent prayer for her best friend and children before rounding the corner to check up on Rufy.

"I can't say I know how you feel or understand why you're hurt. No one chooses the people that come in and out of their lives, we only have to adjust, understand, love and view things from the other point of view. I am not saying that what your parents are doing is excusable, no! it is not Shams.

Allah tests us in different ways, some with their wealth, status, family, knowledge, material possession and what not. Take this as qadr, as something that was predestined to happen long before you come into this world and there is nothing you, I, or anyone can do to stop it from happening. Rufaidah will be fine in shaa Allah, we should be thankful that she has changed for the better, and it's as a result of Allah's will and our prayers for her. We should keep on praying for your parents too. If they change, Alhamdulillah, if they don't then we only pray that Allah will have mercy on them and forgive them. You can't force someone to change when he doesn't want to. Be patient abokina" Al'amin consoled.

"In shaa Allah, thank you" Shams wiped a stray tear before getting up.

An hour later, the Jibrans including Aunt Nafisah who is still using a crutch to aid her steps came with sombre expressions. They were updated on Rufaidah's well being as they all sat and waited for either a good or bad news on her well being.

"Ikon Allah! This girl has gone through so much, she is still going through a lot. I don't know the kind of person Sa'ad has turned into. He is like a stranger to me. I just can't wrap my head around how his thinking faculty isn't doing him any good. Aisha is a shame to women and motherhood." Uncle Jibran mused angrily.

"This is not the time and place please calm down " his wife gently chided. Her heart hurting for the poor souls that are unfortunate to have parents like Sa'ad and Aisha.

"Mama go home and rest please. Am sure Baba needs you. I will call you if there is any new development" Hajia Samira said, looking at Mama's tired figure and sunken eyes. Mama is indeed tired but not of sitting idle in a hospital waiting for a miracle to happen but tired of everything that has been going for years under her watchful eyes after knowing she has the power to make some changes.

Mama left a few minutes later with Al'amin promising to just take a shower, power nap and come back.

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"Innalillahi wa inna ilaihi rajiun! La ilaha illal lahu Muhammadur rasulillahi (SAW)" Rufaidah whispered struggling to open her eyes feeling like her head is going to split into the two.

"Sannu Rufaidah, you're safe. Don't stress yourself. Take it easy" Shams said holding her hands in his, feeling her forehead which is dripping with sweat.

"Water"she croaked. Hajia Samira hurriedly passed Shams a glass of water. He held up her head and put the tip of the glass on her lips. She gulped everything down and asked for more still struggling to open her eyes.

It has been three days since Rufaidah went into unconsciousness. The two families had been alternating in taking care of her. Hajia Samira stays the day while Mama comes in the evening and spend the night with Rufaidah. The doctors keep assuring them that she will be fine which they have started to think is bull but Alhamdulillah she is awake and struggling to open her eyes and see the light.

Hajiya Samira texted Mama telling her that Rufaidah is awake. Mama hastily text back saying she will be there in a jiffy.

"Do you need any other thing?" Shams asked for the umpteenth time and she nodded no. She has been asking for water after every ten minutes as if she has been stranded in a barren dessert for years.

"Sleep my dear, when you wake up you will be able to open your eyes in shaa Allah. I will be right here waiting for you. I love you so much and I promise to not let anything or anyone hurt you ever again. I will be your everything in this world. Be rest assured you're truly and greatly loved and I won't ever stand by and see someone hurt you " Shams rambled with conviction in his voice. A lone tear rolled down Rufaidah's cheeks and he wiped it for her. 

She slept for four hours before she wakes up. With a little effort she was able to open her eyes. Her gaze first collided with her brother's before she others. She smiled at them all. Being the neat freak that she is, she insisted that she wants to take a shower.

"She is back yay!" Zuby guffawed earning her an intense look from her mother.

"I just want to light up the mood since yaya Hafiz is not here to do that" she meekly apologized. Before night fall, Rufaidah had eaten like a horse and she looks as if she hasn't just come back from the world that's half this earth and half the world beyond.

"What are we still doing here ? I want to go home please. Yaya Shams please tell them to discharge me. I'm as fit as a fiddle" she whined with a mouth filled with meat pie.

"Ki bari sai gobe in shaa Allah" Al'amin chipped in and she gave him a strange look.

"Does anybody know a certain someone back then who used to call me Noor?" She abruptly change the topic looking directly into his eyes. She saw the fear in his eyes, the way he flinched. Mama and Shams looked amused but didn't say a word.

"We don't know Rufy. Why did you ask ?" Zuby replied, looking confused.

"Never mind sis, I got my answer" they keep on talking about everything and nothing until the headache came back in full force.She slept off after taking some drugs.

After checking her vitals and what not the next day, the doctor discharged her with a load of prescribed drugs for the headaches and any other symptoms that might come up. Booking her for a check up in a month's time. Rufaidah keep going over the anonymous text messages she has been receiving since her return from Makkah.

What are you afraid of? Why are you hiding? She quickly hit send before she change her mind as Shams kick started his car.

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Jummat mubarak loves!!! Don't forget to recite suratul kahf. Allah ya mana albarka baki daya.

Have a nice weekend.

Shukraan jazeel.