Losing her dad at a very young age with an ailing mother and two siblings to take care of made Hajarah wiser than her age. She toils day and night for her family's survival.  Early morning she will wake up and make pap for her immediate brother who will sell it at the market before going to school after making breakfast which is always from the left over of yesterday's dinner or just pap depending on their earnings.  She is adamant and relentless to go to school a long distance from their village.  she's about to start writing her final exams. After school,  she will rush home to make lunch before taking out her tray of spices to sell around the village.  Her tray consists of maggi, salt,  pepper, dried ginger, onions, garlic, potash, boubboub, dried okra and others.  She will go around town from one house to the other until she gets a reasonable amount of money that will be enough to make dinner, including the next day's breakfast and lunch.

"Oh Allah!  I'm so tired Mama, my back feels like it's broken" she complained,  her face showing immense pain as she dropped the tray in the room sitting down beside her mother.

"Sannu yar albarka ( well done blessed child) you're always trying so hard to help us out. I wish I am the one taking care of you"  Mama said, fanning her daughter with a small hand fan.

"Who said you're not helping?  You're always praying for me, you make sure that no one trample upon us, you raise us well and you are the financial secretary of our thriving business,  what else do you want to do?"

Mama smiled proudly at her daughter " I want to be the one taking care of you Hajarah,  I want your brother and sister to go to school like you, I want you to concentrate on your studies, to enjoy your teenage age like all your mates and much more, but I can't and it makes me sad"

Hajarah sat upright, forgetting about her back ache giving her mother a look of adoration " I am not complaining am I ? And in shaa Allah they will all have an education when I become rich after we move to the city where I'll find the cure for your legs and we will live happily ever after" she sighed dreamily.

"I pray so my dear, now rest a bit,  Aliyu will buy fried sweet potatoes for us to eat for dinner so that you can read your books"

Hajarah followed her mother's instructions sleeping off within minutes to rest her aching limbs. She wonder why none of her father's brothers help them out, they don't even acknowledge them whenever Mama force them to visit and never miss the chance to insult them. Mama told her that her family are in the big city, busy with their own lives to check up on her but she always promise her that they will soon come to their rescue and all her dreams will come true. That has been almost seven years ago and no sign of the said relatives and now that she's eighteen,  she realised that it was a ruse to shut her up from asking questions. Whatever it is, she believes that time will tell.

They love each other dearly and are a close knit family even though they barely have enough to get by, they are honest and content and never beg for anything.  Mama will get mad if they collect anything on credit " your integrity and honor are  the most important things to you, if you don't have the means to buy something then don't buy it at all. Respect is earned" she will often tell her kids and that's how they never go hungry no matter how bad the market is, they will manage to eat even once a day and during emergencies they will use the money from their savings.

The call for Maghrib prayers woke Hajarah up and after praying she dashed out to the Islamic school she's attending at night because she don't have the luxury of attending afternoon classes.

"You're late" the short burly teacher observed sternly,  his cane dangling in his hands.

"I'm sorry Sir,  I lost track of time" Hajarah meekly apologised,  praying he won't use his cane on her.

"You're a good student and a punctual one too, don't come late again, get in" he made way for her to pass beside him.

Having an eidetic memory, she gave her haddah with ease and read out the  other books as if she wrote them.

"You're very talented Mashaa Allah,  you'll go places in shaa Allah" the teacher commended while the other students snorted in jealousy. They wonder how she manage to outshine them all considering how busy she always is and the fact that she commutes a long distance to school every week day.

They received additional lessons and she went home eager to share with Mama the lessons she learned in school.

"Addah I want to go to school just like you" Bilkisu mumbled sleepily as she lay beside Hajarah on their bed made with hay.

"Very soon little one,  now say the du'as I taught you" she patted her head gently with a sad smile praying inwardly for Allah to make her dreams come true and provide her with the means to take care of her family that rely on her.  She can speak and write good English all thanks to the corp members sent to their school whom she clings to until she learn a lot from them and it's one of those teachers,  a female who paid for her WAEC and NECO fees, saying that with the kind of brain she has, the sky isn't just her limit but the starting point. Mama isn't happy at first, but she cajoled her into seeing the brighter side of it, telling her that she's not going anywhere but at least, the certificates will always be of use when things change for the better for them.

"Mama let me rub the ointment for you" she offered,  uncapping the bottle of the ointment for her. Mama gave her a nod of approval, trying to stretch her numb legs to her kind daughter.

She stared at Hajarah for a long while, different thoughts running through her mind, what will become of her precious children when she's gone?  Who will take care of them, Hajarah has done enough already and she don't want her whole life to be hard. Could she drop her ego and call her relatives? Will they forgive her for her mistakes?  For the heart break she caused and ties she severed? Won't they laugh at her and mock her?

"Earth to Mama! What are you thinking of?" Hajarah brought her out of reverie, not mentioning the tears in her mother's eyes.

"Uhh nothing my dear, go to bed now" she faked a smile.  Hajarah nodded and tuck her mother in, knowing that she's getting little or no sleep at all. Seeing her mother in tears always break her heart, she has so many questions she want to ask, so many stories she want to hear but she love her Mama so much to risk making her sad over what happened in the past. She knew her father died after a long illness but his memories are too vague to remember and it was three years after his demise that Mama got sick, with no money to take her to the hospital in town, she ended up loosing both her ability to make use of her legs and that's when Hajarah grew up, she has to, because she have no choice than to take up the responsibility that weighs on her mother's shoulders.

She read through the past questions given to her by her teacher with kerosine lamp before finally going to bed. Exhausted, yet with a heart filled with hopes and dreams for a better, brighter future.

☆☆☆

It has been three weeks since the unfortunate fight between Rufaidah and Faridah,  and the confrontation between Rufaidah and her mother which made her act recklessly. Thinking of the memories of that evening when she regain conciousness her head throbbing mercilessly,  blood dripping all over the carpeted floor. 

"No one cares to even check up on me" she thought out loud before going into the bathroom to dress her wound and take a shower.  She had a terrible dream that night of Faridah writhing in pain,  asking her to save her but she died before she could help.

I should call her, it wasn't entirely her fault but mine too.  She thought.

Picking her phone from the console, she dialed Faridah's number which went straight to voice mail.  She tried all her lines without success.

"This was a terrible idea, maybe she has moved on. Let me call the others to hang out with" she sent a broadcast message to her squad before dressing up to meet them at the usual hang out spot.

She sensed something fishy the moment she arrived,  they keep giving her weird looks as if they are afraid to tell her something. 

"What is it?" she asked glaring at them.

"Uhhh nothing" one of them stuttered.

"Out with it else you will face my wrath" she insisted, chest heaving in anger.

"We are just wondering why you call us here instead of being with Faridah"  one of them spats out. She hates Rufaidah and her arrogant ways. She didn't even know why she hang around with her.

"Why isn't she here?" Rufaidah asked instead,  sounding surprised that they expect her to be with the person she doesn't even know the relationship she has with at the moment.

"Stop acting oblivious Rufaidah,  Faridah is in the hospital for almost two weeks now, she's holding on to life by a thread and yet, here you are wanting to hang out with us when the only person that genuinely cares about you, never speak bad of you even when you erred is fighting for her life. Faridah is a nice person but she made the wrong choice of befriending a selfish,  heartless monster like you"

Rufaidah couldn't move a limb, how can Faridah be so sick and not tell her about it? They are best friends right?  They are supposed to share everything with each other,  be there for each other.

When have you ever been there for her?  Her subconscious chided.

Instead of getting angry over what her friend said, she asked of the hospital and drove at an insane speed there,  praying and hoping against hope that she will be allowed to see Faridah. Memories of the horrible nightmare she has keeps replaying in her head and a lone angry tear cascade down her cheeks.

She's the only one that cares, if I lose her then I have nothing to live for.

"But I slapped her and broke up with her" she wailed, hitting her head with her hand.

"Yah Allah make it easy for Reedah, heal her, don't let her die just yet. I need her" she prayed,  but it sounds selfish even to her ears.

She arrived at the hospital in a frenzied mess and met Faridah's mother silently weeping at the door.

"Mama" she called out, afraid to get the shocking news of her life.

Mama raised her bloodshot eyes to meet Rufaidah's sympathetic ones.

"What brought you here? What else do you want from her after everything she did to you?  You and your mother are nothing but selfish ingrates and I regret ever associating with you.  She's not dead yet,  when she dies you'll receive the news on TV.  Now get out" she calmly stated, venom dripping from her voice.

Rufaidah stood there, silent hot tears cascading down her cheeks,  she felt so many things at that very moment but regret is the most prominent of them all.

"I am sorry mama,  I plead guilty as charged,  please let me see her,  I won't take much of her time dan Allah" she pleaded shaking.

"Okay,  I'll let you see her only if you tell me what is wrong with her" mama replied with a smirk knowing that even with a gun to her head, Rufaidah will not save her life by mentioning the disease.

"Ummm it's the kind of disease that might kill her" she stammered.

"All diseases might kill a person and they all have a name. So tell me Rufaidah,  what is actually wrong with my daughter?" mama said, arms akimbo.

"I honestly don't know Mama and I'm sorry for not knowing.  In my defence, Faridah never mention it"

"She didn't mention it because you never care to ask" Mama thundered,  loosing her patience.

Mama and Hajiya Aisha have come a long way, they have also been best friends since childhood. Hajiya Aisha is the receiver in their relationship,  always asking for unnecessary sacrifice from Mama who is always ready to help her friend.  Even daddy was introduced to Hajiya Aisha by Mama who later feels like she deserves everything and even went far to start looking down at mama because her husband isn't as wealthy as daddy, she started hanging out with women from the highest social strata forgetting that what she is, what she has is all because of Mama and the will of Allah.  Mama remains loyal to Hajiya Aisha though they aren't as close as they used to be and history is repeating itself on their kids which she totally hates.

"Mama I already admit my mistake please let me see her"

Mama shook her head and the dam broke " Neither you or I can see her Rufaidah,  just go home and pray for her if you truly love her. I promise to call you when she regain conciousness and is allowed to see visitors" she finally give in. Mama and Faridah have a soft heart which is always their weakness against whom they love,  they never hold a grudge for long, always ready to forgive and let bygones be bygones and that's why they never harbour hatred or ill will in their hearts. The kindness others consider as a weakness, they are proud of as their strength.

"I can't go home Mama, I'll stay here and wait" Rufaidah insisted.

"She's not waking up anytime soon Rufaidah,  she is in a medically induced coma and they will only bring her back when she's better which will take months" Mama explained,  her heart warming a bit knowing that at least Rufaidah didn't just walk away as she asked her to, she cares about Faridah more than Hajiya Aisha cares about her.

Rufaidah crouched down and bawl her eyes out, recalling all those moments that Faridah keeps repeating about how limited her time is in this world. It's scary to know that you're going to die someday,  whether you are ready or not but it's even scarier to know that you have limited time because of a disease that'll eat you up before you finally die after going through so much pain, battling so hard to survive a disease that has limited or no cure.

I am sorry Reedah.  Please don't die until you forgive me.

They stayed in the hospital having small conversations here and there till it gets late. Mama noticed that Rufaidah isn't praying properly when they prayed Maghrib and Ishaa prayers in the hospital's mosque.

"When last did you go to islamiyyah?"she asked, startling Rufaidah who is busy playing a game  with her phone.

"I can't remember mama, the teachers are so strict and mean so I stopped going." She replied with a shrug.

"Hmm and what has Aisha done about it?" Mama enquired, feeling sad for the poor lady and angry at her mother for being a total failure at being a good mother.

"You know how she acts mama, and even if she knows she doesn't care" came Rufaidah's nonchalant reply as if they are discussing a very mild topic not her relationship with her Rabb.

After a few minutes of broody silence,  mama spoke up " I love you like a daughter and your mother like a sister and God knows that I have tried everything within my power to see that you're brought up as well as I raised my kids but your mother never take heed. Frankly speaking,  you're in danger because anyone who doesn't care about salah and obeying Allah's command is as good as dead because you will never find peace or be happy in this world and you'll be doomed in the hereafter.  I urge you to take a step back and look at your life Rufaidah,  forget your anger, forget the wealth amassed by your father because it is of no use in the world that matters, be good to others and most importantly to yourself.

You can be good to yourself by making sure you're on the right path,  you pray according to the sunnah of our noble prophet (SAW) and be kind to your parents no matter how badly they hurt you because that's the most important thing in life, to be close to your Rabb for He never forsakes us and He is the most forgiving, Most merciful"

Rufaidah listened attentively with keen interest,  her heart beating faster, she envisioned death and hell fire and fear gripped her.

"Thank you mama, I will change for the better in shaa Allah" she promised not knowing that wanting to change and actually changing are two different things,  the latter is easy while the former is hard.

She left around 10pm after much persuasion from Mama and a promise that Rufaidah will be the first person she calls when Faridah regain conciousness.

No one is in the main parlour when she gets home so she quitely went up, the fatigue of the day finally catching up with her. She stripped then entered the shower to soothe her aching limbs. 

She almost had a heart attack when she saw daddy sitting on the edge of her bed with a murderous look on his face.

"Daddy! You scared me" she breaths out, still trying to steady her fast beating heart.

Instead of his usual I miss you my baby, he hissed.

"Where have you been all day long?" He thundered making her so scared she almost peed her pants. 

♥♥♥
Took me long enough to update and I am sorry.  Blame it on writers block not me please. 

What are your thoughts about this book, yay or nay?

Shukran jazeel!