Dippers point of view

So bill took away gruncle ford and we we're all like "bruh why u do dat" and I have a totally genius-tastic idea like a boss and I tell everyone my plan and they're all like "bruh why u so much smarter than our dumb faces" and I grinned smugly and said "yeah, I'm da best" and Pacifica came and kissed me because we love each other and we are engaged to be married but nobody knows that yet it's our secret. Mabel and Stan and Wendy and soos looksed at me and my fiancé Pacifica and they didn't care that we just kissed.
                                        Wendy walked up to me and asked if we could talk in private. We went behind a bush and she kissed me. OMG! I love Pacifica but I still love Wendy so when Wendy kissed me my mind blew up. "Dipper." wendy said. "I love you and I always have I just didn't want people to think I was weird for having a crush on a twelve year old so yeah you're thirteen now so it's totally fine for me to like you now and will you marry me?"
Omg. "Wendy, I'm actually engaged to Pacifica. "What?" "Yeah, sorry. I love you too, but it's too late now." So we went back and Wendy punched Pacifica in the face and roundhouse kicked her clavicles and she DIED.
"NO!!!!! Wendy, why u kill my fiance?!?!?!?!?!" I yelled and everybody except Wendy was like "what the actual heck did yo just say, dipper?" And I said "Pacifica and I were engaged and I guess now that she's dead I'll marry Wendy because we secretly love each other.
Everything was very intnse and everybody looked at me and Wendy like "bruh" and me and I decided to go all superhero up in there and gave this big speech about saving gruncle ford and I went to save him.

Ford's point of view
I was tied above a well-placed vat of burning oil and it was BAD.
"Billlllll, why u no love me?!!!!!!" I yelled well it's because I love Mary Sue OC" bill replied and a fabulous looking girl who was like dipper's age walked in and she had magical glowing hair that barfed narwhals and it was 2fab. Her eyes were magical and red and whimsical and she was sooo much hotter than me how could I compete with her?! Bill kissed Mary Sue OC and I was like BRUH. I finally decided to gnaw off my own leg like a rat chews off its tail when it's captured and take my chances with the oil. At least the oil would be less painful than watching my one true love kiss a kid.
"Pedophile!" I yelled at bill and I gnawed off the last bit of ankle and fell in the oil and DIED.
2 be continued