WEEK 76

Prompt:

"I'm sorry."

"You shot me!"

"It was an accident."

"Sure, sure. I'm assuming blowing up the building was an accident too."

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"The detonator slipped," he pleaded, trying to convince his partner that he was sincere.

"Right, and I assume your finger just slipped on the trigger too?"

"You. Hurt. Me. So you will pay."

Enlil rolled his eyes and said, "Okay, how much? I'm not gonna pay in body parts."

"That's exactly how you're going to pay."

"Then I'm sorry, you're going to have to pay me first," Enil said, pulling out a laser gun. He shot his partner in the face. "There's your receipt," Enlil said, turning his back on his fallen comrade.

But Enlil's partner slowly rose from the ground, his eyes bloodshot. Then a norse god fell from the sky.

"LOKI?!"

But it wasn't Loki. It was Thor. Suddenly, Mjolnir crashed through the ceiling and landed directly over the shot partner, shocking him in the process with a thousand jolts of electricity.

"Wow, that was shocking," Thor said. "Also, which one of you called me Loki?"

From a darkened corner of the room, Percy Jackson stepped forward with his pen/sword drawn.

"PERCYYYY!!" One of the authors screamed, fan-personing so hard they accidentally broke the fourth wall.

"Eat my hamburger!" said Jane from the other side of the wall. She was then suddenly hit on the face by a blue hairbrush thrown by none other than Rachel Elizabeth Dare. Diana, Enlil's childhood crush, then walked onto the scene, flabbergasted.

"I swear I'm not a murderer!" Enlil said.

"Prove it!"

"I swear I only took his head off to help him breathe faster, not because you kissed me."

Out of nowhere, Queen Elizabeth II appeared on top of the building.

"What was this story meant to be about again?" one author asked his partners.

"Enil shot somebody and blew up a building, but if that is so, then what the heck is the Queen on top of?" Percy questioned.

"We should find justice for the fallen!" said a judge who was actually a meta wolf.

"Oh, Bloody Hell," Lucifer said.

Suddenly, a man in a dark cloak entered the scene, holding a knife that was dripping in gooey, pink blood.. It was a creature called Monokuma.

"There's our killer!" the actual killer accused, pointing at a kid with a knife.

Monokuma threw off his hood to reveal a soft, black and white bear face with a single red eye gleaming with fury.

The actual killer shreaked. "HOLY MOLY ON A CANOLI IT'S A FURRY!"

Somebody started laughing.

"So is anyone going to help me?" asked the partner that Enil shot ages ago, still lying on the floor with Mjolnir sitting atop of him.

"Nah," said Mjolnir, raising a knife and holding it directly above his throat. "Goodbye." He plunged the knife into Enlil's body, withdrawing it just to do it again with a sadistic grin on his face.

"Damn, the sicko mode was real!" said Olivia.

Suddenly, the door opened and a 17 year old girl who wore no makeup and had long silver hair and white skin and was also 4 foot 11 because she wasn't like the other girls stepped out. "Hi, I'm y/n."

"WHERE DO ALL THESE PEOPLE KEEP COMING FROM?!!" another author screamed, extremely ready to break the wall and end this story.

"Where do people come from?" asked another author, shifting uncomfortably. "Well, when a man and a woman love each other very very much..."

"That's it, Imma start killing off some of these characters!"

Y/n's eyes opened wide in panic, and then her half demon, half angel side began to escape to defend herself. Her eyes were rainbow coloured, so colorful that everyone who was around could taste the rainbow... and it tasted like a mary sue's toenails.

Editor Dreams took a short break there, screwing up her nose. "What?"

Suddenly, one author started writing the introduction of a new character named Thanos that could end this madness permanently. A buff grape took out a golden glove thing, and everyone around gasped in awe. It was a gucci glove. The grape snapped his great fingers and for a moment the world froze, before the earth was obliterated. Everyone died.

...Everyone but y/n, bc ofc she survived c'mon, she has plot armor.

"Com Coms are fun to read," a reader said, eating popcorn on a wall.

"What are com coms?" y/n asked.

"It's the comment comedy, the double comedy, twice the fun, twice the words," said the reader, and he jumped off the wall.

"Noooooooo!" y/n screamed as the reader fell to his death with a nice SPLAT. The reader rested in peace next to the fourth wall of china town. Y/n took out her phone and took a selfie next to the dead reader, and posted the pic on her snapchat story with the caption "its giving humpty dumpty fr, rest in peace soul sister hashtag slay".

What she did woke the dead humpty the dumpty the tumpty. "Wait! I was a dude but now I'm a ghost."

Y/n stared at copyright humpty dumpty with surprise—in fact, her expression looked like the pikachu meme. "Holy smokes dude i totally revived a dude," she said.

Suddenly, another greek god came down and stared at y/n coldly. "Why did you do that? I had a new guy!"

Y/n pulled out a gun and with a smile, said, "Hasta la vista, dude." She shot him, and the god died :(

"Why are we using y/n; what happened to Sarah?"

"Sarah is 6 feet under and the rats nibble her toes, dear unknown entity from the 4th wall." said y/n. "Unfortunately for the rest of humanity, I have ascended beyond your petty realm. As y/n, your true Goddess, I will bring balance to an ungrateful universe!"

Y/N's oversized galaxy hoodie turned into a beautiful dress, kinda in the greek goddess aesthetic bc Y/N loves to contribute to cultural appropriation. The tunic was (you guessed it) galaxy themed. Then someone shot Y/N in the head—it was Sarah!

dun dun dunnn

The entity from the 4th got on their knees to thank the awesome Sarah for saving them. "Woah ty gorl wink wonk."

Sarah looked at her kill with pride. She started to fortnite dance on Y/N's body in victory, and under her breath she muttered, "gg fam, no cap sheeesh."

"Sarah needs help," Sarah whispered to herself in the monitor.

But Sarah failed to realize that Y/N was an actual immortal goddess, a celestial being incapable of experiencing death no matter the circumstance. But even gods can be killed, and so Sarah was out to find a way to kill Y/N. There remained only one powerful weapon capable of stopping an immortal goddess—a pink lightsaber located within the heart of the Imperial Death Star.

The buff grape came back, alongside a broccoli bird, and said, "We were heroes."

Out of nowhere, one of the authors who was too lazy to back-read and comprehend everything that happened in her absence wiped the slate clean, thus paving the way for a brand new story to unfold. Until someone shot her in the back, stealing the story slate for nefarious purposes.

"You fool, it's impossible to end Y/N's immortal reign by erasing her existence."

"But it is possible to end her reign by toppling her crown—VIVA LA REVOLUTION!"

But then came a flying spoon, flying so fast that the wind whistled around everyone's ears. Sarah caught the spoon and raised her hand. "LET THE BATTLES BEGIN!"

"KILL Y/N!"

"LONG GIVE THE BROCCOLI BIRD!"

Meanwhile, y/n watched the scene with a sadistic grin. "They're not ready for my next plan. Muahahahahha," she said, and raised the dead to be her devoted army. But the sun was up, and all the undead burned to their second deaths. Y/n raised the dead again but with extra powers. But wait a minute... why are the dead aiming for her?!

Y/n's eyes widened in horror as she realized her army had turned on her. "No! Fools, go after them!"

The un-undead army slowly marched over to their goddess. "N-N-NOOOO, P-PLEASE!"

Y/N was pinned to the ground by her own army. Sarah walked up to the powerless goddess with a wide grin plastered onto her face,

"Please h-h-help me," Y/N begged Sarah, trying to grab her leg. Sarah raised her hand to deliver the final blow, when suddenly... she farted—super loud. The fart was so horribly awful that y/n immediately had a heart attack and passed away :( Everyone stood in silence for a moment, staring at Y/N's body with shock. Was it actually possible to slay Y/N? All that was needed was for Sarah to fart—what a surprise!

"I'M HERE," said the broccoli bird and instantly he became his true form... Dekusarah. She stared at her hands in shock, before a grin formed on her face: was it possible she just discovered her uwu magical girl power?

A little green pea appeared in front of her. "HI I'M PEAPEA, I'M YOUR MAGICAL FRIEND/SIDEKICK/BUDDY/BROSKI," it yelled.

Sarah got all giddy. "omigosh i have a sidekick fr, are u a kwami???"

Peapea was outraged at being called a kwami, and so it blasted Sarah into oblivion. She happily drifted through oblivion because she had never been there before, but suddenly crashed against a trampoline that threw her back to where she came from. Peapea was very and extremely mad that Sarah was still alive, so it embraced its evil demon form.

Suddenly, one author who survived the previous slaughter stumbled upon the story's current progress, and he knew this needed to end before these characters became self aware and destroyed the universe.

Sarah wondered about that strange term of self awareness before shrugging it off and mounting her magic unicorn. The surviving author crawled on the floor, struggling to grab his pen and write an ending before it's too late. Before the author could bring the ink-loaded writing utensil down on the pale paper, a spinning portal to a world where everyone can live their dreams opened and the unicorn activated the super speed booster. It slipped through the crack in between space and time just as it closed, taking Sarah with him into a life full of joy.

"NO, I WAS SO CLOSE, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!?!"

Then Sarah morphed into a giant blueberry muffin and exploded before everyone's very eyes, since she had committed a lot of tax fraud. Blueberry muffin guts covered everything in a 500 mile radius, and everyone got infected by the blueberry muffin zombie virus(™). The dying author began to slowly zombify, but he still has his pen and he could still potentially end the horrible nightmare before he fully turned into a zombie.

"RIP Babe, I'm tired of your mockery and trickery and I can't love you." He wanted to use a knife, but he plunged his hand into Sarah's chest and ripped her heart, staring into her dying eyes without feeling.

Pp- (no sorry) Peapea stared at this strange fiasco with confusion.

"Ugh... screw all of you... I will return... AND DESTROY YOUUUUuuU..." Sarah wailed as she died. A raging wind came and blew everyone away.

"You are dead baby! Go enjoy the vacation," said a zombie dude who didn't realize he was also dead.

Then a bird flew by. The bird was a sign that the end was near, but the beginning was also nearby. A rain of fire fell, burning everything in existence and killing anyone who had happened to survive y/n's wrath. Y/N became the cutest chick and the toughest princess in the never ever realm and lived happily alone after.

Until her crown exploded right on top of her head. Everyone was now dead; the world was a blank canvas waiting for a new life.

The end. Not! Muwahahhaha.

The end was stuck in the traffic while the beginning was busy studying for the exam. And the middle was the cause because it got in a crash. And then there was Percy Jackson, the sole survivor of whatever the hell happened here, just watching in utter confusion as time progressed forward.

"Percy! Bruh, sorry son! chill and drink an iced coffee," said Zeeyous. (Editor Dreams is keeping that name)

"WELL MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO DRINK AN ICED COFFEE!" Percy yelle back.

Annabeth then appeared and sat next to Percy.

"Omg Anna! I thought you were Annabelle from the Conjuring," said Percy, the demigod who didn't drink coffee. Then, out of the blue, James Potter and Sirius Black walked into the story.

"Mom! Is that the multiverse?" a little kid spoke from behind the fourth wall of the night's watch.

"You know nothing, little kid," Jon Snow said, with a knife currently plunged into his chest.

"Yes, that is the multiverse, my dear," The mom said as she turned the child away before he could see Jon Snow with a knife in his chest.

"HEHE" Michael Jackson said.

The surviving author that lived through this insanely horrible torture finally held his pen, ready to write the ending into his book to end this monstrosity of a nightmare. He went with a meteorite that destroyed the entire universe.

The End