I Know You Don't Love Me

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You wandered through a nearby botanical garden not too far from the main shopping district of the Devildom. Brilliant, almost luminescent plants filled the area; all vastly different from the plant life in the human realm. Your latest assignment was to walk around in Devildom nature and record some observations about the plant life. Specifically for you as a human exchange student, you were to compare them to plant life in the human realm to aid in your Devildom studies at RAD. You reached your hand out to feel the leaves of a few plants which looked relatively safe to touch. You noted how they felt as your memory recalled how leaves of plants back home often felt. Some of the Devildom plants' leaves felt rough and almost coarse while others felt almost like what you'd envision a cloud to feel like. There were a few that felt full and firm as if they were filled with water. They reminded you of the leaves of a jade plant you once took care of. You looked up towards the heads of the taller plants. Vivid petals that practically glowed while others had deep green and brown heads. Looking down you noted some of the smaller plants or the stems of those which grew from underground. Although some resembled plants from earth, they all seemed so different from the plant life you were familiar with. As you bent down to examine some of the smaller flora, a tall and muscular demon boy walked up to you. You recognized the pants and shoes and looked up to see the tall Beelzebub standing above you.

"Hi (Y/N)," Beel greeted with a smile. You stood up and smiled at him and returned the greeting. "I've never seen you around here before."

"Yeah, I came here for a class. I have to study plant life and Lucifer let me know about the botanical garden so...here I am." You explained as you stuffed your notes away in your bag. "What about you? What are you doing here?"

"I grow plants sometimes. And I help out the owner." Beel said just before his stomach growled. "Plus sometimes I harvest some ingredients to make food. Food tastes better sometimes when it's grown by yourself." A precious smile upon Beel's face beamed even brighter as he talked about food. You couldn't help but to laugh at his goofy love of food. "Do you need any help?"

You looked at him surprised for a moment before quickly accepting his help. After all, you could barely even recognize poison ivy back on earth, just imagine if you accidentally touched something like it down here without realizing. So you spent the afternoon walking through the expansive garden with Beel, taking all kinds of notes and even educating him on plants back in the human world.

...

"(Y/NNNNNNN)" Asmodeus whined as he went to your room. Once he got in, he realized you weren't there and only whined louder as he went to look for you. Upon realizing you really weren't there, he made his way around to ask any brothers that might be home. None had seen you. For a moment, Asmo felt worried then he bumped into Lucifer as he made his way to his office.

"Oh hello, Asmo. All your homework done for the day?" Inquired Lucifer.

"Yeah, it's done." Asmo huffed, knowing he hadn't really done much of it. "Have you seen (Y/N)? Something I bought for them just came in and I'm so eager to have them try it out!" He practically squealed as he explained his plans, energy filling up and causing him to bounce slightly as well.

"I see, well they aren't home right now. They're out working on a school assignment." Lucifer explained. "I'm sure you'd just distract them so try to wait for them to come home."

Asmo rolled his eyes. "Did you let them go alone?" His excitement quickly vanished as Asmo put his weight on one leg and crossed his arms.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Oh nothing except for the fact that you chew me out for bringing them to a party when they were okay with it and Mammon was even there, but you just let them run around the Devildom completely alone when they can easily get lost and you know very well that there are demons out there that won't hesitate to gobble them up." Asmodeus stared at Lucifer with a sharp and fixed gaze, daggers shooting from his eyes. Lucifer stared right back with the usual stone cold and stern expression. "Don't even try to pretend that you just don't trust me to do anything."

"Asmodeus, you are out of line." Lucifer's tone was sharp and harsh as he looked down at his little brother.

"Oh yeah? Then why is it okay for them to go out with protection, but not go to a party that I go to. Why is it okay that I go to them, but not them? Is it because you think I'm just some reckless party slut who will let (Y/N) get hurt? Is it because you care about them but not me?!" Asmo's voice raised as he continued on, feeling his true feelings well up. "That must be why you've never cared if I've gotten drunk or gone to parties! You only punish me because I make you look bad, not because you actually care about me!" A few tears strolled down his cheeks as Asmo finished his statement.

Lucifer's expression had softened thought it still remained unreadable. The look in his eyes was the only thing not ice cold as he stared at his younger brother.

"Why do I even bother? I know that the only people who care about me are the ones that don't even know me. Everybody loves you, but nobody likes you after all. That's the only way anybody actually ever cares about me!" Asmo turned to walk off as started trying to wipe away the tears without ruining his makeup.

"That isn't true, Asmo." Lucifer's voice had gone soft but was still quite audible. "I worry for you too." Asmo stopped but didn't turned around as Lucifer continued speaking. "I never stopped you because..." Lucifer sighed.

"Because?" Asmo turned his head to look at Lucifer from the side as he waited.

"Because I knew I couldn't control you. I tried to punish you, but I've seen that doesn't work. Not with you, not with Satan, not with Belphie, and certainly not with Mammon." Lucifer paused for a moment, silence filling the space between them, before he continued, "I've always worried for you. When you'd get drunk, when slander posts would be made about you, when I knew you weren't going to reputable parties. But one reason I had to stop (Y/N) is because they aren't a powerful demon. No demon is going to go and eat you. However, they will try to harm (Y/N) in more ways than they would try to harm you. So yes, I have treated them differently than you, but I worry just as much for you as I do for them."

Asmo's hunched shoulders softened as the anger fleeted from his mind and his face. More tears fell from his eyes before turning away once again. He wiped them quickly away, trying to smile and laugh to keep from crying.

"What are we doing?" He said, mouth quivering as he tried to hold a smile and voice breaking as he tried to keep it happy. Lucifer just looked at him. "We're fighting over (Y/N), but we both know that you're the only one they have eyes for."

"What...? They don't...I mean, I was going to let-"

"They don't love me. Not in that way." Asmo shook his head as images of you flashed in his mind. "I want them to, I thought if I could get time with them, show them what my world is like, then it would make them love me the way.......that way that I actually do love them..." Asmo's heart raced as his stomach churned thinking of his feelings for you, acknowledging them for what they are. "If I could make myself amazing, they'd love me too. But it's true. No one can love me the way I love myself. But...do I even love myself if...they won't even love me...?"

Lucifer stood frozen for a moment before taking a step forward. It felt as though he broke free from a cage that kept him stationary as he walked towards Asmo. He gently placed his hands on Asmo's shoulder before wrapping his arms around him, hugging him from behind. Asmo's whole body was shaking as he silently cried, still trying his best to stop it.

"My lust is all I am. But even when I try not to be that, no one will love me." Asmo cried, his voice breaking as his heart breaks too. "I thought maybe (Y/N) would finally be someone who loves me. They see me for me, but...I'm not someone special to them...I don't think they even see the real me..." Lucifer gently strokes Asmo's hair while holding him.

"I'm sorry that..." Lucifer's voice trailed off as he felt his pride surround him. He shook it off then continued, "I'm sorry that I failed to help you or even truly notice how you felt. How...any of you felt. You all had every right to believe I was controlling...and if you feel that I care for Lord Diavolo more than you...or that (Y/N) is the only one who gets my love and care then...it does mean I have failed." Feeling a deep pang in his chest from his pride, Lucifer could feel the embarrassment well up in him as he spoke. "I'm sorry that I let my pride control me. So I ignored all your needs. And the truth is...I was going to let you have (Y/N)."

Asmodeus stopped crying and shaking then turned to look at him. "Wh-What...?"

Lucifer nodded then continued, "I spoke with Diavolo about it and I came to believe that you deserved (Y/N) more than I did. I love them, but...sometimes you have to let those you love go for them to be happy."

Asmodeus smiled just a bit as he half-laughed and half-cried. "You're ridiculous sometimes." Asmo leaned into Lucifer and sighed as he continued to cry quietly. "Just a bit more..."

Lucifer nodded and held Asmo in his arms as they both came down from the fight. Either didn't know what to say so they stayed silent and it just felt right.

...

You walked back into the house with Beel, still chatting up a storm and sharing everything from the human world as he quietly listened and acknowledged what you said. He wasn't always the most talkative, but you recall what Belphie had once said about him. He's always honest with his actions and you can always tell what he's thinking by what he does. You and Beel even gathered some of the ingredients from a private greenhouse at the back of the botanical garden and brought them back.

"I think Satan's cooking tonight. Should we bring these to him?" You asked.

Beel nodded, "He should be starting soon." Beel's stomach growled after he said that and you couldn't help but laugh and add,

"But even if he isn't, if he knows what's good for him, he will be now." You both started to make your way through the halls and as you approached the dining room and kitchen, you turned a corner to see Lucifer and Asmo standing in the hall together. Lucifer was holding Asmo in his arms. You and Beel just stopped and stared, not really sure what to say. Lucifer noticed you first and then cleared his throat.

"Ah (Y/N), Asmo was just looking for you." Lucifer slowly let go of Asmo and turned to let him see but still kept a hand on his shoulder.

Asmo smiled at you but you noticed that some of his makeup had gotten a little messy. "(Y/N)! I'm so glad you're here! Where have you been?! You can't keep me waiting!" He playfully pouted at you.

Lucifer leaned in and whispered something to Asmo then Asmo turned and whispered something back before Lucifer nodded. Asmo took a deep breath.

"I must look like a mess." He said with a chuckle.

"Asmo, Lucifer, did something happen?" Beel asked, the concern clear in his voice.

"We had a small fight, but we've worked it out." Lucifer admitted and smiled softly.

Asmo walked up to you and hugged you then whispered in your ear, "I'll tell you later." He pulled back and gently planted a kiss on your forehead. "You cutie, I missed you so much. And something I bought for you just came in! Let's go!"

"Uh actually Asmo, we have stuff to deliver to the kitchen. Can you wait?" Beel interjected in a very polite and straightforward manner.

"Oh of course! Maybe I can even help!"

The three of you walked past Lucifer and towards the kitchen, Asmo with a pep in his step and practically clinging to you. Lucifer smiled and watched you three go on before heading on to his office to get some work done until supper. You didn't really understand what was happening, but you trusted Asmo and Lucifer that it was all okay. Besides, Asmo told you he'd tell you later so what did you even have to worry about? You were sure it was all going to be okay.

~★~ End Chapter ~★~

Chapter Art Credit: the card "Horror Night" from Obey Me, Solmare

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