The breeze at dawn
has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for
what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going
back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.
Open your eyes and you will see at last
He is walking
in your garden like the
breeze at dawn.

Rumi
*
*
*
*

Sana's P O V

Standing alone by the window pane gloomed with the surprises of the season

Dim lights ,blur hearts,faltering hopes ,hopeless tears yet another day to face and move on...

Winters are often famous for lovers..

The apart ones perhaps..

The once who were never meant to be

The once who you thought were rain but were just storm alongwith hurricanes in your life.

Or the once who were just there to share a smile or two for a time

But most importantly the once who were a teacher disguised in an illusion of something only you saw behind the curtain of your dreams

That's what winters are known for longings..

The bare tress with no life,the white snow hiding all the colours ,the harsh breeze halting all the explorers .they all hint to that particular word

It cages us in our own house to dwell in our own thoughts which were once to be free and fruitful.

Wonder how many people yearn for their beloved
how many miss them and how many face them wearing a facade in the cold  nights.

Wonder how many tear up sensing the frozed love which could never melt

Sigh

What could I even say the girl who I should never go near to is the same one which gives me peace and laughs with her innocent and lovely talks.

The girl who is unintentionally behind my heart break is the same one which assures me and pours into my being a confidence I thought I was lossing .

Her words for me works as magic which would never let me hate her or be away from her.

You know it Allah how hard it is for me yet I am doing it to attain your pleasure please help me I believe in your plans with all my heart.

I really did remove him from my thoughts and tried my best to remove him from my heart when I promised Areesha .

But today I want to remove him from my life  once and forever .
it's not easy Allah
not at all.
But my hearts assurance on Your plans fills into my being power 

I really want to fly above to actually connect with the one who is for me .that you choosed.

ya Rahman. I want your choice .not my parents and definitely not mine  it could never be best like yours.

I tried really tried not to get jealous from her just because of you being there for me .Thank you my ALLAH for being there for me and saving me from the sin which could have destroyed me .

But Just one last time I want to see in those eyes and pray  to someday  have  the  same love which he contains just for her

Cleaning the waterfall of my eyes I mustered enough courage to meet him and return his belonging caged in my embrace

"Umar" I called knocking on his giant lavishly painted  door

"What?" Came his annoyed voice

Typical

"Can I come in?"I asked politely

"Sure it's open"he answered with a rather  grave voice indication of him being busy .

"Is this the way you treat your guests Umar "I complained going in as I saw him perched on his leather chair in front of a  pitch black desk covered with a designed glass on top and him being enveloped in files along with an opened laptop.

"I don't really know how to treat surprise guests" he gave a small smile while my gaze flickered to Areesha's intricately framed picture on the wall just above his bed.it was huge

I shouldn't have come

"I just came to return the book I.borrowed" I spoke seeing his curious  yet sharp gaze on me

" you can keep it" he shrugged as he typed away on a cold winter morning having  a large cup of freshly brewed coffee .

"Thank you" I smiled genuinely.

"Where is Areesha ?"he asked closing the file

"Someone is missing her" I joked gulping the sudden uneasiness

"Haven't seen her since yesterday night?"he reasoned

"She is with your mother and granny" I answered.

"Hmm" he hummed

"Tell her that I am calling" he said halting me as I turned from the door.

"You know that she won't come here" I reasoned.

"I know" He smiled

"Her ladyship wants me to always make the first move" he complained

"And we both know that you will always.!" I said slowly.

"You being patriotic ?" he questioned playfully.

"What's patriotic in it "I rolled my eyes taking a seat complying with his gesture.

"Can I ask a question?" I inquired after calculating his mood.

"Go ahead" Umar leaned on the chair giving me full attention.

"If Areesha wouldn't have agreed than what would have you done.?"I asked caustically.clearly seeing the darkness covering his face.

It affects him much more

"Why are you asking this?"he frowned as he folded his large hands

"Because I want to know how much you really care for her" I said non chanted.

"When you really want to gain something than you don't think or take no for an answer" he said with no emotions yet his eyes were the Windows which he chosed to kept close from me.

"And if you have no choice but to leave".I said after a moment

"You only leave when you know you are not meant to be".he said throwing a dagger at my feelings

"And you never felt that.?,"I summoned a little courage gazing at him

"I don't really like you asking these sort of questions sana!"he stated

"She is my friend and I have full right to question!."I affirmed

"Your friend can ask me those questions  herself "he raised an eyebrow

"What did you see in her which wasn't in any of the girls you met ."

"I am not liking this" he said.

"Why you are giving me a cold shoulder?"i asked annoyed of his secretive behavior,

"Because it's cold outside" he shrugged making me slightly chuckle.

"I respect you sana ,but this is a personal matter !" He studied me for a moment after orating those painful words .

"What's so personal about it that you can't even share it with your cousin !"

"I am busy" he rubbed his temple with closed eyes .

"Why don't you accept that you like everything about her" I blurted before I could stop.

His eyes flew open, a Small scowl taking place on his craved features.

always hate to admit

"What are you implying?"he asked graveLy.

"Accept not just the love Umar but it's ways to which you are lacking..softness and being expressive is that "I implied

I didn't even knew why I said it maybe because I love Areesha or maybe because I care about him so he may not lose her with his shortcomings when coming to certain ways of love.

"Were you here to lecture me miss sana" he asked amused.

No I was here to say goodbye.

"I am not.going to say everything but I appreciate Her strong character! And caring nature ,she maybe very sensitive and reluctant but I know when it comes to her character she is pure and will never let her guard down no matter what anyone says even her fiancè" .he completed proud..

"I am glad to hear your preferences I always wish best for you both" I said truthfully although it hurted inside.

"Thank you" he smiled wearing his thick leather jacket.

"I should leave they must be waiting" I stood up leaving the book which I could no longer keep due to Many reasons one of them being my heart.

"Wait Let's go together and scare them" Umar smirked closing his laptop as his broad frame stood up indicating me to have the first move.

"I don't know if anyone would get scared but Your Areesha surely will."

I am not going to scare her" he said with a soft smile ,

"Of course your presence is enough for her to get scared" I covered my longing with a slight snicker making him roll his eyes.

"I don't think she has seen such a handsome human like me that's certainly is the real case" he joked as I took a deep breath trying to shove every feeling,and longing into the well from which they could never emerge

.I just pray it works.

In a night full of pain and darkness, be a candle spreading light until dawn.

~ Rumi

****

woody fragrance of the fresh atmosphere abducted us in it's pleasant embrace refreshing us with every breath.

As the wild flowers with beauteous lilies swayed with the rhythm of the gentle air playing around 

A step on the freshly shoveled grass sent chills with small dew drops welcoming the early morning.
With that us walking admits there daily routine,praising and admiring them with each step taken,and each word spoken.

Soft bubbles of frost touched my gentle skin making me sigh with delight As I closed my eyes inhaling a minty breath of fresh air.my dress gliding with the gentle breeze taking me in the warm premises of my fascinating thoughts

"Areesha say cheese" rayyan exclaimed throwing a huge snow ball at me making me gasp at the sudden contact .

"Ray!!!" I whined with a frown

"I saw you were enjoying the snow so I just helped a little" he shrugged.

"You ruined my enjoyment" I.accused.

"Well you ruined my sleep for a early walk" he retorted.

"It isn't my fault all were sleeping and Who else I could take" I said stepping into the warm house.

"Choose the timings wisely than "He brushed his coat filled with.bits of fallen snow

"But on the other hand I enjoyed it "He grinned boyishly making me smile

"We were waiting for you both come and do the breakfast hurry up" mom instructed making Rayyan grin.

"Areesha my flower come here" phuphee called gently as soon as she spotted us

****

"You said someone is going to come and !it's been a week Dani?"Annie inquired as we all settled ourselves around him,admist the lounge.

"Yeah they are here but wonder what's taking them long to.visit maybe relatives and stuff" he shrugged looking at the large golden chandelier which hung low beautifying the area with its Crystal and bright light.

"Areesha granny is calling you" Hina api voiced ushering me with her hands.

"I will be back" I excused striding towards hina api.

"I will leave zaki with Asad and join you untill than you go" she smiled .

Wonder what's the cause of sudden call although I have been with her yesterday and in the morning to.Her affection seemed to increase after my engagement and no doubt the respect my father had grew many folds in the whole family

"You called me granny ?", I steeped in her room after knocking ,as I saw phuphee and granny sat on her huge intricately designed bed having many delicate boxes around them.

Her room was designed with ancient royal furniture with a hint of modern wooden floor which leaves me in awe every time I visit here

"Yes my dear come sit here" phuphee smiled patting a seat beside her as granny graced me with a small smile making me nervous.

Something is surely going on!'

"Beta me and your granny wants to talk to you about an important matter before going to your father we need your support regarding it" phuphee took my hand in her, carresing it with her gentle ones.

"About what" I inquired with a small smile.

"Areesha I want to set your Nikkah as soon as possible now that I have gained my wish of seeing you two together I want to seal it with a proper vow so that my heart can rest peacefully." She smiled dropping a bomb

"I have wished to see you both like this since you were very small and all those apart years just made me yearn for more ,it will take time since the wedding will be grand a month or two for preparations.But I want you to be umar's as soon as possible "granny paused seeing my expressionless face as my heart thudded with her abrupt demand.

"What's the difference if it's done now or next year !the earlier the better my child."phuphee interjected sensing my nervousness.

"My heart will finally gain it's peace seeing my last wish being granted" granny said with a light quiver in her voice

"Do you have problem with Umar "she asked after a pause when I didn't said anything.

"No,phuphee I I i am just thinking about my studies ,I really wish to complete another year before taking any responsibility so that I may not lack in any thing "I  reasoned politely through my jumbled thoughts and I was sure the tremble in my voice didn't go unnoticed

Only if it was my baba sitting in front 

"Studies could be completed after it to my dear" granny dismissed.

"Umar can help you too his field is related to yours isn't it "phuphee patted my shoulder encouraging me for an positive answer

Seeing there twinkling eyes expecting positive answer I sighed.

"If baba agrees I have no issue" I spoke with my trembling lips scared of what I just sealed.

There would be no.backing out than

"Stay blessed always" phuphee kissed my forehead taking me in a hug as I sat there trying to soothe my juggling thoughts and void feelings of being detached sooner than expected from my home

"I love and appreciate the girls who oblige to their elders demands" granny praised removing my veil adoring and my neck with a gold necklace.

"Why this granny" I inquired with a whisper

"This is the necklace I specifically ordered for umar's bride ,it is the royal design which I fell in love with as I saw many years back and I wanted my son's bride to have it ".She orated opening my clip and adjusting my hairs .

The necklace felt so heavy on the neck yet it seemed beautiful and gracefull at the same time

"Thank you" I mumbled touching the sensitive design.

"No need my sweet I have made and kept safe Many things for his children to "she gave me a pointed look making me blink in horror.

"Ami(mom)..Why are you making her nervous ,show me Areesha she came in front ."closing the heavy box

"MA shaa ALLAH my daughter looks beautiful,,it suits her really well isn't it" phuphee said adoringly. As I sat on the red enclaved sofa with a fearful yet calm heart

"It certainly does much more than I expected "granny shielded my hairs with a gracefull net shwal as the door tapped .

"Come in Hina ".granny called.

"Oh hooo look at the bride MA SHAA ALLAH gorgeous "she cheered taking in appearance.

"May Allah protect her from all evils" granny blew reciting a few verses

"My umar's bride is very precious" she whispered adjusting the veil properly

"Umar look at your princess" Hina api chirped making my head snap towards the door,.horror mirrored my eyes as my heart skipped a beat recalling my sudden position.

"No one told me today is the Nikkah"he jested playing dangerously with my emotions..his eyes fixed on mine

"You want it to be today hmm let us think about it what do you say Areesha we just need a sheikh" Hina api smirked.seeing my flared cheeks.As Umar closed his eyes taking a deep breath  striding towards granny's bed

"If it would be in my hands I wouldn't even waste a second to fulfill the blessed deed and bring my daughter home" phuphee said

"That good news will be heard soon to" granny patted umar's cheeks as he layed on her lap facing my direction making me feel conscious as I draped my veil securely around the net one.

"Your daughter in law looks rather scared what did you do to my wife" Umar joked as I gave him a pointed look only to lower my head abruptly seeing him wink

"Is there a party going on May we join" dani's loud voice chimed in the large room.

"Wait a.second" Umar voiced as Hina api helped me taking of the necklace and securing the veil properly.

"Mubarak ho."bhai dani patted umar's should while faking a tear.

"Never new a little girl could help you grow" he plopped on the bed earning a playfull slap from phuphee.

"Who grew?",,Asad bhai  entered along with Ameera  And Annie

"Your baby brother" he answered.

"He did really?what a surprise!".Asad bhai smirked while Umar just gazed at him without any emotion probably giving a sign that he doesn't care.

"My son is the best granny" kissed his forehead making him smile in triumph.

"I am jealous" dani grumbled glaring at him as granny chuckled patting him on the shoulder.

"As everyone is here let's make use of the opportunity phuphee tell us something about their childhood".Annie sat crossleged in front

"We all are ready" Asad bhai grinned making me panick as Umar sat being attentive .

"No phuphee" I interjected not ready to get embaraseed as all snickered .

"Well I don't really want to go against my daughter's wish" phuphee replied lovingly making me smile in return.

"Go ahead gulnaz we will love to hear it" mummy joined making me startled.

Mummy ? What has world come to !

Contemplating everyone's reaction and gaining granny approval with every ones cheer she gave me an innocent smile before starting.

I am going to be embarrassed so bad I just know it I thought seeing her start

"Long before when Umar was barely 6 years old Your uncle took Areesha and him to park and he fell from the swing because he was attempting to stand while it was still in motion" phuphee gave a pointed look  Umar just smiled in return

"Never following rules!as always" Annie commented

"Yes and he fell pretty badly that he needed stiches immediately due to the excessive amount of flowing blood "!she explained making us cringe in horror .

"Areesha was the only one there as everyone had school while they both were on vacation,.Your uncle hurriedly took Umar to the near by hospital and guess what throughout the stiches it was Areesha who was crying ,Umar just flinched at some points.even the doctors got suspicious and checked her to make sure she didn't get hurt" she paused as everyone giggled in awe

Why me why just whyyyyy

" not only that when they got home the next day Umar was perfect but Areesha suffered a high fever because of him while whole day Umar stayed with her assuring her that he is fine ,but she didn't believed it until he played just with her all day long " phuphee completed my head already hung low as I covered by eyes with a hand not being able to take their awss and chuckles who knew I was this dumb.

"I am sure Areesha would have done the same if it was me," Dani grinned

"No you gum head" Umar glared after a minute his gaze flickering to me with a hint of a small smile ,while I tried my best to avert it on the other side.my cheeks supporting every warmth

"Such a caring soul mate you have Umar" Kiran api winked

"Apii" I whined making them laugh while his laugh creating havoc in my already rapid heartbeat

"Next Asad bhai" cheered.

"Yes yes yes" Ameera chided.

"This was the memory I saved for their Nikkah" she said.

"I am so curious now" dani exclaimed.

It's going to be a bad one .

"You all when small were chubby babies and

"Phuphee no please" I chided abruptly halting her because I knew this one which I accidentally heard her sharing with granny before and I would do anything to make her stop nothing could be embarrassing for me as this was..

"Why ?"Umar inquired.

"Just no" I shook my head making her laugh.while others grunted being curious

"I would take you to a theme park" Asad bhai offered.

"Or a long drive"

"Or to a favorite restaurant" they offered different attempts.

"No I don't need anything in exchange of this "I said

"I will save it for there Nikkah" phuphee winked making them.groan as I sighed visibly.

"What's so bad about it?" they asked annoyed I didn't care about anything plus I was thankful Umar didn't remember.

"I am surprised from where you heard it" phuphee chuckled making me blush  I wanted to escape the first chance I get

" You are not going to let her tell us that's fine we will wait and as a treat we boys  will prepare our special cocktail for you all" Asad bhai sauntered handing baby to api making us confused yet excited at the sudden surprise.

"Go ahead beta you all enjoy and Umar come here for a second "granny ushered

"What is the special occasion for this extraordinary service" Kiran api asked curious as they all gave each other a look.making us suspicious.

"We thought to treat you all to show off our dreamy skills which you won't be able see nor get anywhere" dani smiled not giving us the required satisfaction.

"Come on boys let them think until they grow white hairs",Dani gestured as they obliged striding towards the kitchen.

"Wait we will come to ,who knows what are you all planning".Hina api chided making us nod.

"Womens these days !  Here we all are offering them a  treat and they don't even trust us "they grumbled  making us giggle while we followed them towards the kitchen taking our places on the chairs surrounding the kitchen dining as they started there specific drink.

"We call this drink um "heroes cocktail" Ahmad bhai boasted.

"We can't wait Hina and Kiran api" cheered making them smile

"Umar nice timings bro why are you on the mobile come join us "bilal bhai called seeing him enter  ,but he was to engrossed  as he  stayed glued to his spot without paying any heed to others.

"Umarrr" Dani exclaimed earning a glare

"What is the problem!Can't you see I am busy"  he raised his eyebrow making them snicker

"Help us it should be the best product in the world" Asad bhai instructed making him took his eyes.

"What are you all doing?"he asked confused

"We are making our special cocktail for them" explained bilal bhai as he gazed towards us

"Why don't you just order from outside?"he said after a minute ,while he gave me  a small nod accompanied with smile making me avert my eyes from the sudden blush.

"When you have a family Umar you should think the best for them homemade things are far healthy for wives and children" Asad bhai explained as Umar took a seat beside me making my pulse rise at the sudden proximity.

"This is all granny and mom's fault to make you a king fine don't help us at least make something for your Areesha ,wouldn't you make for her ?"Asad bhai smirked.

"Yes Umar make for Areesha ,we will let go just this time for her" Hina api added as I sat there with flared cheeks thinking of the ways to escape there teasing session

"Ask her the flavour don't just make it of your choice "dani snickered but resumed slicing mangoes seeing umar's expression.

"I will prepare it of my choice" he got up handing me his mobile
" take care of them" he added striding towards the juicer

Seriously why does it seems like he is doing the biggest favour in the world going by his attitude.

"Oh my wait a second let me get the golden tray this juice is precious" dani exclaimed handing the ,exquisite tray making us chuckle

It was surprising to see Umar working in the kitchen although he just extracted a glass of simple orange juice everyone was taking it has a huge huge deal .

"Annie give it to her"  he ushered glancing at me

"Oh why can't you give her " Kiran api questioned.

"You can't leave the premises give her" Dani smirked making Umar roll his eyes.

"Areesha savour every sip I tell ya you won't get such fine product ever this is just one in the world" dani advised

"You heard the caption" Asad bhai added

I gazed everywhere to see them staring at me as I took a sip

This is awkward plain awkward

Should I say it's nice because it's just the same as it is supposed to be.

"Am I supposed to ask the results to?" Umar inquired.

"It's delicious" I responded.making everyone cheer.

"It's decided Areesha make him extract it for you after marriage" Annie advised

"Don't take it for granted" Umar replied

"Look at him he is being bossy from now itself "

"That's Umar for you all" bilal bhai snickered

"Let me taste it" he brought his hand forward as everyone occupied themselves in another banter

"Make another one" I advised slowly

"Why?" he narrowed his eyes.

"Because I have already drunk from it "

"No problem" he grasped the glass taking a huge gulp as I blinked to  startled to respond.

"Sweet" he smirked now "You can have the rest "

"Ewww I can't" I blurted

"Why ?"

"I don't drink from someone's glass".

"I am not someone" he gritted but seeing my reaction he bent near

What if anyone sees it!

"One day you will drink it happily" he whispered.making my face scrunch

Never going to happen

****

"Mummy I want to ask you something" I said laying on her comfortable bed as I  stared at the cream ceiling adorned with silver stars.

"Go ahead Areesha" mom urged folding baba's clothes  keeping them safe in the cupboard.

"What would you have done if someone liked baba before marriage?"I inquired hesitant

"What type of question is this??" mom frowned making me gulp

Maybe it wasn't such.a.good idea.

"I mean anything is possible right what would you have done" I asked desperate to fill out the  guilt I feel

"Allah has  already made pairs of everyone and no amount of planning can change it.I would have prayed for her and myself so the best May happen and if God forbid it had been written of being with other than May Allah give the strength to endure the obstacles on the way."she replied calmly.

"Hmm so the best thing is to pray" 

"Yes beta when you pray for others it's the best kind of support and gift you can offer."

"Thank you mummy" I smiled genuinely

"What was th reason behind this absurd question by the way" she  he raised her  eyebrow keeping hands on her waist

"Uh just a random question" I smiled sheepishly making her shake her head

"My daughter is waiting for me here I thought you were in your room" baba entered as I abruptly sat up grasping mom's shawl earning a sweet  scowl

"I came here as soon as I heard that you called" I answered

"You know what I want to discuss beta ,?" He inquired seriously taking seat in front

"Yes baba" I whispered.

"Do you really agree Areesha,?my daughter should be under no pressure just be comfortable and answer me I will take care of everything don't worry until your baba is alive no one can  ever  force you into anything and even If I don't remain my prayers will protect forever" " he assured making me gaze at his affectionate eyes filled with warmth and love.

"Salman sahab I know what's best for my daughter , Nikkah is the best decision" mom interrupted.

"I just want my daughter's assurance ,which is above all."

"Baba I uh am fine with everything" I stuttered.

After studying me for a minute he authoritatively spoke .

"The Nikkah will take place after a year not before ."

"This is not the right decision ,salman you know your mother and besides there is nothing wrong in it I am the mother don't I know !."

"I know my daughter,and she will get what she desires" came baba's firm reply as I sat there in awe seeing his understanding and scared seeing my mom's temper.

"An engagement shouldn't be prolonged it's better to have Nikkah early" mom reasoned.

"Areesha is far more precious to me than any relation I don't care what anyone thinks ,she is my daughter and I will be her shield from anything that makes her uncomfortable and besides it wasn't my preference to have an engagement ,it was just supposed to be a direct Nikkah next year but on all of your insistence I agreed now don't pressurize ."baba answered

"Areesha are you not happy?you have seen them how they treat you like a princess tell your baba to accept it" mom demanded  making me gulp

"Don't bring her in this ,you know they are not just demanding the Nikkah but rukhsati as well ,and I want my daughter to be independent first" baba dismissed.

"There is going to be much drama" mom sighed.

"Baba I guess;

"Areesha beta go to your room,  baba stood up kissing my forehead as I obliged running to my room to see an impatient Umar walking back and forth outside the room.

Seeing his pace why I feel he knows what happened!

BISMILLAH!!.I recited going near.

Assalam o alikum wa rahmatulahi wa barakatuhu,

A long long chapter,,,so what do you think what should happen ,?

Regarding sana?

And Nikkah ?who is right her mom or her baba.

Do vote and comment because I love and really appreciate your response

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