Valentine's POV

I am sitting alone crying into my pillow. Typical Saturday night. I roll over and wonder what Elliot is doing at the moment. I hate her but I also love her. She's the first woman to ever look at me without gagging. Damn these teen emotions - even though I'm an adult.

I bet she is probably thinking about our wedding as well - she wants meh. I suddenly hear my BTS text notification sound. I pick up my phone with the hope that it is from my Elliot, my one true love. I rush to open up my text conversation.

Future Wife: meet me @ police station 12:00pm sharp

It's finally happening. I squeal excitedly (like a man, of course) and hurriedly reply.

Naked Baby: omfg
Naked Baby: is this a date

Her response fills my black, cold heart with hope.

Future Wife: if i say yes will you go?

I decide to play it cool.

Naked Baby: id say yes a thousand times for you my love

Future Wife: wat

Naked Baby: i mean i don't care or anything but yeh see u soon bby ;)
Naked Baby: not that i care
Naked Baby: <3
Naked Baby: pls dont leave me

Future Wife: bring an authentic pizza man costume

Naked Baby: omfg
Naked baby: u wan role play wit me?
Naked baby: i gotta find my handle bar moustache, pineapples and lube

Future Wife: I didn't ask for that but okay

Naked babe: i was gon save myself till marriage
Naked baby: wat am i gonna tell timmy
Naked baby: ill be a whore in his eyes

Future Wife: ur already a whore
Future Wife: ps stay away from teddy, he's mine

I gather the equipment she asked for and rush out the door. Just before I leave I took one final glance at one of my many BTS posters.

 "Jimin, you will always be my bias."

I reach the door and call out to my slightly younger and identical brother. "Timmy, remember to return my lube!"

I leave in a hurry to meet my lover's caring embrace.

-:- Timeskip- at police station

Elliot d. Grayson's POV

I glanced down at my watch and realised I was one hour late. I'm sure Valentine won't mind. I walked up to the door to find Valentine waiting for me. As soon as he sees me his face lights up and rushes towards me. He was already in his uniform which surprisingly looked real unlike mine which had pizza spelt with a 'q', the companies name being 'totally not fake pizzas' and topped off with a fake moustache.

"Hey, sorry if I kept you waiting I-"

"I missed you so much, I got these for you," he said as he handed me a bouquet of flowers.

"Umm, I'm allergic."

"What? To flowers?"

"No, to losers."

Valentine looks around confusedly. "Huh? I don't see any losers."

"Anywho, let's get this show on the road." I paused for a moment before continuing. "So um, how do I say this? So, I accidentally got StalkerMcGee thrown into prison. We're going to break him out."

"Okey dokey."

"Really not going to comment on it?"

"Why would I? Seems completely plausible."

After explaining the well thought out plan of breaking out McGee we got into action. We walked back into the station with our uniforms on while holding a stack of pizza boxes (with a q).

"Heya anyone order some pizza?" I ask with my perfect Italian accent.

"Oh, that would be me! Your delivery service is quick ma'am. I litterally ordered one minute ago." An officer that looked to be in his mid 30s responded.

"Well what can I say? We are a fast food restaurant, if you know what I mean."

He let out a chuckle before continuing, "follow me."

He motioned for us to follow him. Just as he was about to let us through the door he stopped, giving us a looked over in sususpicion.

"You can go in," he said while pointing at me, "You look suspicious, we're are going to do a check on you," he directed at Val.

The officer handed the naked baby onto another cop. We walked into another room and I placed down the pizza boxes on a nearby table.

"How much is the total?"

"It's normally 100 dollars but I'll make it 200 for you cause you are the man, my man!"

"Wait, what?"

"Anywho, have you seen this man?" I asked as I showed him a photo of StalkerMcGee.

"Looks familiar but I dont remember his name."

"Have you seen him recently?"

"Hmm, now that I think about it I saw him earlier today. Also what happened to your accent?"

"You did? Who? What? When? Where? Why?"

"Oh, you would not believe this. We caught him trying to rob a bank at 1am in the morning." He replies before bursting out in laughter.

I awkwardly laugh and try to play it off cool.

"HahahahahaHhahahaaahahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahhahah."

I continued laughing after he stopped. He stared at me like I was some kind of crepe like Ruby.

"What happened to him?"

"I'm not sure, the higher ups delt with him. You know what? I feel like I've seen him before..." He trails off.

"Well, good talk. I better get going now."

I walked out while he was in deep thought. Once I was outside Valentine came into view.

"How did it go?" He asked.

"I don't think he's here anymore."

"Have you tried calling him?"

I pause for a moment before having a brilliant, completely original thought.

"I should try calling him!"

"That's what I just sa..."

"Shh, shut up. I'm trying to call him. Oh, hey StalkerMcGee, how's it going?"

"Elliot! Thank God it's you, I've been in jail for the past two nights because of you! What took you so long. Every moment has been pain and misery. I seriously can't take it, it feels like the world around me is crumbling beneath my feet. I think I am slowing beginning to lose my sanity and this is all your fault!"

"... Really? But I just talked to the dude ordering my pizza with a q. He told me he didn't even detain you."

"..."

"Oh, Really? Hahaha, I meant that it felt like prison here. Y'know with no feet to touch or anything. You know I'm the the local feet toucher. I love touching feet. hahaha. Have I mentioned how much I love touching feet?"

"Must have been a nightmare. Anywho, I'm a bit busy at the moment. I'm babysitting a naked baby, if you know what I mean. See ya," I say as I hung up before he could reply.

"So what should we do now?"

"It's 1pm now, want to go to my house?" He suggested.

"I don't know..."

"I have food."

"Let's get a move on, we don't have all day."