.The starting of the doubts.

First impression = the Last impression?

~2018~

India's tour of England.

ICT had reached England just a day ago. The players were given two days to adjust with the time zone and climate. The practice was going to start the day after tomorrow.

And Shreyas was already feeling like an outcast. He was feeling very lonely and it didn't quite help that the team treated him with just courtesy. The last few days had been quite hard for him, eating alone or in complete silence wasn't something, he was used too. 

And he was actually pretty scared and nervous to take his own initiative in starting a conversation with the seniors. He didn't know what to do actually? His room was feeling quite suffocating and yes, Rohit bhaiya had smiled like once or twice at him during last night dinner. It had made Shreyas feel good.

But right now, he was again an emotional mess. The room was feeling strangely suffocating. His nerves were controlling him. There was apprehension, there was terror, there was anticipation and his stomach was curling into itself. It was a very uneasy feeling.

Shreyas was uneasy and uncertain.

He was in the Indian team. The dream, The dream that had been growing in his eyes from childhood was so close. He could see it physically manifest besides him but the uncertainty was a constant too.

Will he get to play?

What will be the seniors really like?

Will they be this distant forever?

How should he behave?

What should he call them?

How should he talk?

Shreyas didn't know. He didn't know anything besides the fact that the closed room was suffocating. He was worrying. He didn't know whether unnecessary or not? But he was worrying too much. He was thinking and overthinking.

His nerves were frayed.

And it wasn't at all very good for his mental health. Gloomy and broody wasn't truly his moods at all. Shreyas decided he needed fresh air and something besides the four walls of his room to relax his mind.

Determined to not be negative and gloomy, Shreyas escaped the clutches of his room. He was wandering around the corridors of their team hotel silently taking in the scenes of his surroundings, keeping his mind as far as possible from cricket and it's worrying.

He was roaming around mindlessly like that when he spotted Virat Kohli walking towards him. Spotting the Captain of his team, the Virat Kohli, Shreyas couldn't help but be anxious again, all the worries eating his mind resulting in this outing again in the front foot of his mind.

Should he talk to Virat?

Ask him about the doubts?

Should he initiate the conversation?

Shreyas was in a complete dilemma but he decided to be brave. He can do this. It's just saying a casual "hello," to his captain. He was certain Virat's reply would automatically, make him work out what to do later.

With a hammering heart, highly nervous with almost shaking hand Shreyas waved at Virat, mumbling a shy "hello" mustering all his courage and then he was left at his spot frozen, reeling and hurt.

Virat Kohli stormed past him.

He didn't even nod at his direction.

He just walked away like Shreyas was invisible.

Shreyas couldn't help but feel very embarrassed, humiliated and angry. He never thought Virat would be such an arrogant jerk. He had heard many such things about him on news and all.

But he thought they were exaggerating.

But here Virat proved him wrong.

Okay, Shreyas admits Virat was the greatest batsmen currently. But he was such an obnoxious, snobbish jerk. God, so arrogant. Shreyas decided he didn't like Virat at all. He was so arrogant.

Why was he so arrogant, Huh?

MSD was kinda a hundred times better than Virat but he wasn't at all arrogant.

So, why was this being so arrogant? Couldn't he just reply to him? Why did he ignore him? Shreyas was still mentally dissing Virat, very-very sad with this incidence when he heard his name being called out in a breathless tone.

Looking up, he noticed Rohit Sharma jogging towards him.

"Shreyas" Rohit exclaimed his name breathing a little heavily.

"Yes, Rohit sir," Shreyas answered a little self-conscious and down after the recent incidence.

"Call me bhaiya or just Rohit, no sir" Rohit said looking a little uncomfortable with the sir title.

And Shreyas smiled shyly at Rohit Sharma, instantly liking him very-very much. Rohit was as good as Virat but he wasn't at all arrogant like a certain Kohli.

Shreyas was kinda having very bitter thoughts about Virat Kohli, right now.

"Did you see Virat?" Rohit asked Shreyas the main question. He knew they shouldn't have spoken like that but none of them expected Virat to close off and walk away abruptly.

"Yes, he went outside," Shreyas supplied, though he didn't like Virat at all.

"Oh!!" Ro mumbled, all hopes of catching Virat diminishing like that where will he search Virat outside right now?

"What are you doing out?" Ro asked Shreyas instead.

"I...I" Shreyas stammered and Ro understood the kid was feeling alone. So, he took Shreyas with him in the team room. He talked with Shreyas, joked around and helped Shreyas settle in the team as much as possible.

Shreyas liked Rohit Sharma very much. He liked how great human being Rohit was and he loved how part of the team Rohit made him feel.

While Shreyas thoughts on Virat's character was all bitter. He may be the best player, he wasn't the best captain or a good person at all, according to Shreyas.

His thoughts on Virat continued degrading as the days went and Virat didn't conduct any group meeting or such stuff. Shreyas was sure he won't ever like or respect the person Virat Kohli was, he will grudgingly respect the batsmen he was but not the man.

Shreyas was sure.

Shreyas was unaware that in future he'll be ready to fight anyone who speaks even a single word again his Virat bhaiyaaa.

******************

The days were passing and the one day series was about to start and yet, Virat Kohli hadn't spoken more than two words to Shreyas and Shreyas evaluation of Virat Kohli was going down and down.

It was dinner time.

And Shreyas was sharing a table with Rishab Pant, Sikhar Dhawan and Ishant Sharma. They were eating with Sikhar and Ishant making the conversation flow and laughing. Shreyas and Rishab were content to listen to their seniors for the time being.

Rishab was also a silent being for most of the time. He and Shreyas had known each other from two-years-now, playing in the same IPL team and all. Rishab's presence was kinda like a saving grace for him.

They weren't that close but now, here, they were the only new debutants. Debutants, about whom the other people of the team sometimes forget. So, they had stuck to each other company and Rishab also agreed with his evaluation of Virat Kohli.

The guy was too arrogant.

Rishab also felt the same. It was quite obnoxious from the guy who recently lost matches. And MSD's absence in the team when all the Indian squad was gathered here was making few questions ring in their head.

"Did Virat really force MSD to give up captainship?"

"Did he really make MSD retire from the test?"

They didn't know but they were likely to believe he did because of Virat's mannerism alone. The guy was avoiding the team. He hadn't had a single meal with them.

Did he think he was above them?

They didn't know but Virat was making them think so, and so, Rishab and Shreyas had decided that they didn't like their Captain at all.

They'll listen to him because they had too.

But they won't respect him.

They can't respect a person like him at all.

At that, moment, they noticed Virat Kohli enter the dining hall. He sat on a table alone ordered his food. He didn't look at even one of his teammates. A reserved look on his face, his lips drawn on a thin line. An arrogant, bad boy aura emitting threateningly from him.

Shreyas and Rishab noticed as Rohit motioned for Virat to joined their table.

Virat ignored him altogether.

Shreyas and Rishab scowled at their food.

Such an arrogant obnoxious being.

Rohit bhaiya, shouldn't even try. He was being too kind to this jerk.

They were thinking so when there was a clanging noise. All of them looked towards the source of the sound. They noticed the Captain standing abruptly looking at something on his phone.

His face betraying nothing as he stormed out of the room, ignoring all the calls of his name.

The team looked at each other totally baffled.

What was wrong with this guy? They didn't know.

Shreyas and Rishab were all but certain that their captain was a world-class jerk. At that moment, watching Ro's put off expression. Shreyas had a very intense desire to go out and give the captain a piece of his mind. But he didn't, he just looked at Rishab and both of them shared a look of complete understanding, they won't ever respect someone like Virat.

He might be India's captain but he won't ever be their captain.

Only if their future selves could hear them now? They would have called themselves pure idiots and beaten themselves.

Only if Shreyas would have gone forward with his desire to follow Virat?

He would have witnessed, the real Virat. The humane Virat. Mahi bhai's Chiku. The guy with a child's heart clutching onto Manish Pandey for dear life.

Sobbing.

He would have witnessed the complete panic and fear in Manish's eyes as he held onto his bestie. His Virat.

As sob after sob wrecked Virat's body.

Shreyas would have witnessed the Captain, the elder brother, he knows now.

The brother who doubted himself the most.

The brother who got hurt but hides it under a facade of indifference.

He would have seen Virat, Chiku, Vi.

The guy's who's sadness will have the power of breaking Shreyas heart in future. The guy for whom Shreyas will happily lit up the whole world.A word against whom will sound like a personal insult to Shreyas.

The guy who would be Shreyas, Vi bhaiya and Captain forever.

But that future was a few years away now.

It was a long journey ahead.

A long journey of becoming a family.

-to be continued-