Dear Lauren,

How do people just decide they're not going to procrastinate? I've made that decision at least once a week since 6th grade, and I still can't seem to stop procrastinating.

My English teacher kicked me out of the classroom until I finished the essay we're doing. I don't think I'll ever be allowed back in. My mom is forcing me to "just try [my] best" and "we can fix it later." At this point, she's basically just telling me what to write. It's not my fault I can't figure out what goes next or that I don't know how to write a counter argument. The last (and first) time we covered that was when I was traveling for a funeral, so my teacher let me skip the project for it.

I wish she'd stop saying that I actually belong in my class. We both know the truth. The only reason I didn't drop out when I had the chance to was because I was scared of how my schedule would change and that I'd be alone again. Not that it's made a difference. Most of the time I spend in there is staring at a blank document while I try not to cry because it's due tomorrow and I don't even know what I'm going to write about.

I'm not allowed to shed any tears while I'm working at home either. Apparently, it distracts me from my work. If you ask me, though, I'd say it just makes the demons in my head more determined to make my eyes water.

Mom says that as long as I turn it in and get a grade, she'll be happy with me instead of the frustrated adult who doesn't know what to do with her idiot of a daughter (my words, not hers). She tells me that she would prefer a 75 over a 0, but I know that even an 85 is as bad as never turning it in.

Why can't we go back to when times were simpler?