It was still dark when Yoongi awoke, there was no hint of daylight in the winter sky. Yoongi tried to find a way to get out of bed without waking up his mates. They were tangling up, with Namjoon by the left side of his, arm wrapping around the omega's waist. Jimin lay by the right side, burying his head in the crook of Yoongi's neck, near his scent gland. Above their top were Taehyung and Seokjin cuddling and snoring softly. And Jungkook was curling up at the end of the bed, laying his head on Namjoon's thigh. Yoongi gently pulled Namjoon's hand away from him, placing a kiss on Jimin's forehead before sitting up. He also tucked the blanket for Jungkook before leaving their room, the youngest alpha always felt hot even when it was snowing outside.

Yoongi went to the kitchen to make himself a warm cup of tea. Even though the sun hadn't risen yet, he found his mind too clear to continue sleeping. An uneasy feeling kept roiling in his chest. Yoongi took a seat near the window facing the garden. Outside, only white snow could be seen in the dark. He wondered if Hoseok wore enough clothes before he left home yesterday afternoon.

As it started to get a bit of light for the first time of the day, Yoongi heard footsteps coming toward him. He didn't have to see to know who that was. The fragrance of lily mixing with thin vanilla, the scent was both seductive and ethereal that only Taehyung had.

"You left our bed early," Taehyung whispered as he knelt down next to the chair where Yoongi was sitting.

"Again."

"I'm sorry," Yoongi answered, then he placed a gentle kiss on the top of the younger omega. He felt guilty for waking Taehyung up. Taehyung was a light sleeper and sensitive, he awoke easily when the scent around him changed. Maybe he already recognized the distress in Yoongi's scent.

"It has been days," Taehyung said. He took Yoongi's cold hand and pressed it to his cheeks. Yoongi exhaled, feeling a little relieved because one of his mates was here with him at least.

"Yoonie, do you want to tell me what's wrong?"

Yoongi couldn't avoid Taehyung's gaze, which was filled with expectations, worries, and love.

"It hasn't happened." The omega sighed. He closed his eyes shut and kept his head down. The other could see the anxiety clearly in Yoongi's expression.

"What hasn't happened?"

"My heat." Yoongi bit his lips as he heard Taehyung breathe out. He felt the younger omega's hand rub his back, then he added.

"It has been two months since my last heat. It is not usual, my cycle has been always regular every month until now."

Taehyung took the cup in Yoongi's hand and placed it on the window sill, then grabbed both of his hands with his own. He didn't force but waited for Yoongi to look him in the eyes. Only a few minutes ago sleepiness had invaded Taehyung's consciousness, now it was gone. Yoongi was all he cared about at the moment.

"Tell me, my beloved," Taehyung said softly. His voice was so warm, low, and soothing that it always made Yoongi's heart melt.

"What idea is on your mind?"

Yoongi hesitated for a minute, then he answered, his voice was small.

"I think I'm in menopause."

"Oh my God." Taehyung gasped. He stared at Yoongi with teary eyes. Yoongi could realize the sadness was not hidden on the younger omega's face. Menopause was a very big deal to an omega. It was like proof of age, time, and changes. If you were an omega in menopause, it meant you were no longer young, beautiful, vital, and fertile; moreover, for some alphas, an omega in menopause was worthless to them.

"I'm so sorry." Taehyung continued, hiding his face in Yoongi's palms. Yoongi just smiled helplessly and ran his fingers into Taehyung's black fluffy hair.

"I upset you, didn't I?" Yoongi asked, trying hard to keep his voice stable.

"No, you never. I just... I'm sad for you. But I will love you as always, you know?" Taehyung raised his head and leaned into Yoongi's touch. He sniffed the scent gland on the older's wrist, one tear falling from his eye.

"Seokie and the alphas too. We will love you like we always do, omega."

"I know." Yoongi nodded and kissed Taehyung's cheekbone. He already knew his mates would still love him as in the first old days even when he was no longer young and beautiful. He knew he was sure about that. However, it couldn't make him feel whole again, because he also knew his mates wanted a child and he was unable to give it to them anymore.

____

It had been weeks since that day, but Yoongi had yet to tell the others about his matter, Taehyung was the only one knowing.

"It has been only three months. Maybe your heat just came later than usual," said Taehyung when he and Yoongi tidied their tea shop. It was evening already and they closed the shop earlier in the winter.

"I don't know." Yoongi shook his head, not really wanting to talk about it. He sighed and stacked the chair on top of the table.

"I have a bad feeling. There's no reason for my cycle to change other than that I'm old and in menopause."

"You're not that old, my beloved." Taehyung retorted. Yoongi knew Taehyung was just trying to comfort him. However, the fact was fact, he was getting old. Nothing could disclaim that reality.

"I'm not that old even when I'm 42, huh?" Yoongi frowned but smiled. Taehyung nodded immediately, and he pouted.

"No, you're not. You know, my mother gave birth to me when she was 41 years old." Taehyung spoke without noticing the slight change in Yoongi's eyes. All he could think of was to prove to Yoongi that the 40 was not that old.

"Well," The older omega shrugged, avoiding Taehyung's gaze. He said with his tone raising.

"Your mother didn't have to fight but I did, so my body can't take it anymore. I can't even give birth to a baby at my own fucking age."

It was worse. Yoongi knew Taehyung only meant well but things took a turn for the worse when he learned that he couldn't do the things that people his age could do. Damn right, 40 wasn't too old, omega in their 40s are noble and charming, except for him. The age of 40 left him only with a withered body and a flawed soul.

Taehyung's eyes widened in surprise when Yoongi suddenly shouted. At the same time, Yoongi realized his impulsive action and fell silent, standing still at his place with his fists clenching. Before Taehyung could walk over to him, Yoongi crouched down and started to sob.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Yoongi buried his face in his hands and mumbled. His shoulders were shaking, and tears kept streaming down his cheeks. Why was he so stupid, careless, and selfish? Why did he say those things in front of Taehyung, his only omega mate?

"Shhh, it's okay." Yoongi didn't look up but heard Taehyung whisper softly in his ear, and also felt the younger omega's warm hand gently caress his back. The more considerate Taehyung was to him, the deeper the feeling of regret crept into his heart. He shouldn't have let his anxiety take control. He shouldn't have shouted at Taehyung, and he should have cared about Taehyung first, not his frustration about himself.

"I'm sorry I shouted at you." Yoongi hiccupped, clutching Taehyung's shirt. He leaned on Taehyung's shoulder and searched for his scent gland to breathe in.

"I said it's okay. Don't stress yourself out because of that. I understand so it's okay."

Yoongi shook his head. He wanted to say that it was not okay but the sobs swallowed his words. No, Taehyung didn't understand. Or did he? Though, it couldn't make Yoongi feel better. Not at all. Taehyung was so kind, Yoongi was grateful for that but sometimes, he hated it, hated the way Taehyung was too caring to him. He didn't deserve him.

"Do you want to go home and take a hot bath together? It's gonna be our for-only-omega zone." Taehyung asked as Yoongi's hiccups faded and Yoongi nodded, wiping away his own tears.

"Yes, please," Yoongi mumbled, the guilt still lingering. He didn't want to continue tidying the tea shop and just wanted to go home and rest in the arms of his mates. Then Taehyung helped him up, placed a quick kiss on his forehead, and guided him to the front door. Tomorrow morning, they would have a lot to do but it was okay.