The songs for this chapter are:

Walk Away- The Script

Forever and Always (Piano version)- Taylor Swift

She is - The Fray

Hardin's POV.

"Do you remember it? Any of last night?" I ask her for the second time.

"Why did you come here?" She quietly responds, dodging my question.

"Why is he here?" I nod my head toward the kitchen where I know Noah is perched against the wall, listening to our conversation. I really can't fucking stand him.

"He's here to check on me."

"He doesn't need to check on you," that's why I'm here.

"Hardin," she frowns, "not today. Please."

"Sorry," I inch back, feeling like an even bigger asshole than I did seconds ago.

"Why are you here?" Tessa asks again.

"To bring your car. You don't want me here, do you?" I haven't once, until now, even considered the idea that Tessa may not want me to be here at all. The days of her finding solice in me are no longer.

"It's not that... I'm just confused."

"About what?"

"You, last night, Steph, everything. Did you know that she set Becca up with Zed even though she knew she was already dating Noah? It was all a game to her and she really did hate me all this time," her eyes shine under the dim lights of her mum's living room.

"No, of course I didn't know," I tell her.

"You had no idea that she had any bad feelings toward me?"

Damn it.

"Maybe a little, Molly had mentioned it once or twice but she didn't give me details and I didn't think it was like this."

"Molly? Since when does Molly care about me?"

"She doesn't, she hates you still." I tell her. "But she called me after that Applebee's shit and I was pissed. I didn't want her or Steph to ruin things between me and you. I thought Steph was trying to meddle just to be a nosey bitch, I didn't think she was a fucking psycho." Tessa is wiping tears from her eyes when I look over at her.

I move across the couch to close the space between us and she recoils, "hey, it's okay." I grab her arm and pull her to my chest. "Shh," my hand rests over her hair and after a few seconds of trying to pull away, she gives in.

"I just want to start over, I want to forget about everything that has happened in the last six months," she sobs . My chest tightens as I nod along, agreeing with her even though I don't want to.

I don't want her to want to forget me.

"I hate college, I always looked forward to it but it's been one mistake after another for me." She pulls at my shirt, bringing herself closer to me. I stay silent, not wanting to make her feel any worse.

I didn't have a fucking clue of what I was walking into when I knocked on the door but I sure as hell didn't expect to have a crying Tessa in my arms.

"I'm being so dramatic," she pulls away too soon and momentarily I consider pulling her back to me.

"No, no you're not. You are being really calm considering what happened. Tell me what you remember, don't make me ask again." I say, "Please."

"It's all a blur really, it was so.. strange. I was aware of everything but nothing made any sense. I don't know how to explain it. I couldn't move but I could feel things," she shudders.

"Feel things? Where did he touch you?" I don't want to know.

"My legs, they undressed me."

"Only your legs?" Please say yes.

"Yes, I think so. It could have been so much worse but Zed.." she stops. "Anyway, the pills made my body so heavy, I don't know how to explain it."

"I've taken pills like that before, I know what you mean."

"You have?" Her mouth falls open and I nod. "On purpose?"

"Yes, they can be fun when you take the right kind."

Broken memoires of blacking out in bars and stumbling down the streets of London race through my mind. The idea that I once had of fun is completely different than what I consider to be fun now. 

"I guess fun isn't the word." I backtrack. She smiles sweetly and adjusts the collar of her sweater. "Where did that come from?" I ask.

"The sweater? It's my mother's, can't you tell?" Her fingers tug at the thick crème fabric that is pulled too tight across her chest.

"I don't know, Noah was at the door and you're dressed like that, I thought I had stepped into a time machine," I tease. Her eyes light up with humor, all sadness momentarily washed away, and she bites down on her lip in an attempt to hide her smile. She sniffles and reaches over to the small table to pull a tissue from the floral box.

"No, no time machine." Tessa shakes her head back and forth slowly while wiping at her nose. Fuck, even after crying she's so damned beautiful.

'"I was worried about you." I tell her. Her smile disappears. Fuck.

"This is what confuses me."

"What? That I was worried?"

"Yes,"

"I'm always worried about you, you know that."

"You don't always say it."

She's right, I don't always say it but it's true. I spend hours a day worrying about her.

"You told me you didn't want to try anymore but here you are telling me that you were worried about me." She stares at me blankly, her lip trembling.

Emotion, this is what I need from her. I need the reassurance.

"It's okay, I'm not upset with you." She is taking my silence the wrong way.  "I do appreciate you coming here and bringing my car. It means a lot to me that you did that." She continues while I sit in silence on the couch.

"It's nothing," I shrug. I need to say something, anything.

"How will you get home? Wait.. how did you even know how to get here?" Shit.

""Landon, he knew." I lie.

"Oh, he's here?" Her eyes light up again.

"Yeah, he's outside."

"Oh! I'm keeping you, I'm sorry." She flushes and stands to her feet.

"No, you aren't. He's fine out there waiting." I stammer.

I don't want to leave.

Unless you're coming with me.

"He should have come inside,"

"He's fine." My voice comes out much too sharp.

"Thank you again for brining my car," she's trying to dismiss me in a polite way.

"Do you want me to bring your stuff inside?" I offer.

"No, I'm leaving in the morning so it's easier to keep it in there."

Why does it surprise me every single time she reminds me that she's going to Seattle? I keep waiting for her to change her mind but it doesn't happen.

Tessa's POV.

"Okay," Hardin's hands run over his hair and behind his neck. "I should go then."

"What did you do about Dan?" I ask as he reaches the door. I want to know more about last night, even though Noah is in the kitchen and I'm sure he's eavesdropping.

"What?"

"Dan, you said Molly told you. What did you do?" I know Hardin well enough to know that he went after him.

"Nothing too bad." He half smiles.

"I didn't kill Dan when I found him, I only kicked him in the face.."

"You kicked him in the face.." I say, trying to dig through the mess in my head.

"Yeah.. Did Zed tell you that?"

"I.. I don't know.."

"I'm Hardin, not Zed." Hardin said. His voice in my mind feels so real.

"You were here, weren't you? Last night?" I step toward him.

He backs into the wall.

"You were, I remember it. You said you were going to drink and you didn't.."

"I didn't think you remembered." Hardin mutters.

"Why wouldn't you just tell me?"

"I don't know, I was going to but then everything got so familiar and you were smiling and I didn't want to ruin it."

"How would you telling me that you drove me home ruin it?"

"I didn't drive you home, Zed did."

I remembered that earlier, sort of.

"So you came after? What was I doing?" I want Hardin to help me put together the sequence of events.

"You were laying on the couch, you could barely speak."

"Oh,"

"You were calling out for him," he adds quietly. venom laced through his deep voice.

"For who?"

"Zed." His answer is simple but I can feel the emotion behind it.

"No I wasn't." That doesn't make sense. "This is so frustrating." I sift through the mud and finally gather a glimpse of sense, Hardin speaking about Dan, Hardin asking me if I can hear him, me asking him about Zed...

"I wanted to know about him, if you had hurt him. I think."

"You said his name more than once, it's okay. You were so out of it, I didn't expect you to want me anyway." His eyes rest on the carpet.

"I didn't want him, I may not remember much but I was afraid. I know myself enough to know that I would only call for you." I admit without thinking.

Why did I just say that? Hardin and I broke up, again.  This is our second actual break-up, it feels like there have been so many more. Maybe because this time I haven't jumped into his arms at the slightest hint of affection from him, this time I left the house and the gifts, this time I'm leaving for Seattle in less than twenty-four hours.

"Come here," he says, holding his arms open.

"I can't."

"Yes you can."

Whenever Hardin is around me, despite the situation, the familiarity of him always seeps into every fiber. We either scream at one another or we smile and tease. There is never any distance, no middle ground.  It's such a natural thing for me now, an instinct really, to let myself find comfort in his arms, laugh at his stale attitude, and ignore the issues that caused us to be in whatever terrible situation that we are in at the time.  

"We aren't together anymore." I say quietly, for my own reminder, not his.

"I know."

"I can't pretend that we are,"

"I'm not asking you to do that. All I'm asking is for you to come here." His arms are still open, still long and inviting, calling for me, pulling me closer and closer.

"And if I do, we will fall back into the cycle that we both decided to end."

"Tessa,"

"Hardin please," I back away. This living room is much too small to avoid him and my self control is faltering.

"Fine," he finally sighs and his hands tug at his hair, his usual sign of frustration.

"We need this, you know that we do. We have to spend some time apart."

"Some time apart?" He looks wounded, pissed off, and I'm a little afraid of what will come out of his mouth next.

"Yes, some time alone. We can't get along and everything seems to always be working against us. You said yourself the other day that you were sick of it, you kicked me out of the apartment."

"Tessa.. you can't be fucking," he looks into my eyes and stops mid-sentence, "how much time?"

"What?"

"How much time apart?"

"I," I didn't expect him to agree. "I don't know."

"A week? A month?"

"I don't know Hardin, we both need to get ourselves to a better place."

"You're my better place, Tess." His words swarm through my chest and I force my eyes to move from his face before I lose all resistance.

"You're mine too, you know you are, but you're so angry and I'm always on edge with you. You have to do something about your anger and I need time to myself."

"So it's all me then?" He snaps.

"No, it's me too. I'm too dependent on you. I need to be more independent."

"Since when does any of this matter?"

"Since we had that massive blow up at the apartment a few nights ago. Actually, since you refused to go to Seattle with me even though I promised you that we could try it and if it didn't work out we could move on and go to England."

When I finally gather the courage to look up at Hardin he is fuming. His hands are shaking and his cheeks are flushed.

"Don't say anything that you'll regret. Please." I beg. I can see the angry words  stirring behind his eyes.

His lips press into a hard line, "Fine. I'm leaving then, what time are you leaving tomorrow?"

"Five,"

"In the morning?"

"Yes."

"Okay," his hands push into the tight pockets of his black jeans and his eyes measure my face, "I'll tell Landon you said hello." He says and walks out of the door.

(I love listening to everyone's song suggestions! I'm trying to make my way through my inbox but there are so many (which is a really good thing) so if I haven't responded, I will as soon as I can! Ily all and hope you had a great weekend! xo)