Back to the present. Magnus and Alice have been fighting. Will they be able to make amends? or are things only going to get worse? She was pretty upset before he left for Torvald's :-/

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Magnus

Alice did not come to greet him when he returned home. It was strange and lonely driving up to the main house without catching sight of the small human figure. In spite of their fight, some part of Magnus's mind held hope that perhaps she would be standing in wait when he arrived. That she would have finally forgiven him for the child and for whatever else had been bothering her. That she would run to him with open arms, and he could embrace her, and tell her how grateful he was to her for her service. To apologize for questioning her. More than anything, he knew he wanted to disprove every one of Torvald's assertions. That the woman was growing too old to continue in her tasks, that her degree freedom was a threat, that her resentment could be dangerous.

But Alice did not show. In fact, the main house and land around it seemed almost empty when he arrived. It wasn't entirely surprising. The day was late, and the weather was beautiful. There was little doubt Alice had given most of her flock the chance to enjoy the sun as she sometimes did in summer.

He tried to imagine how his brother might respond to such laziness from his human stock and found himself longing for Alice all the more. He needed to tell her of his despair seeing Torvald's caged animals, how glad he was for the guidance she had provided him in ensuring his animals were truly happy. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was that they had fought for even a moment.

Instead, Magnus parked his truck, planning to head straight for his study. He was stopped before he reached the stairs.

"Welcome home, Master."

Magnus turned in anticipation for a moment, expecting to see Alice standing there but instead found that it was Kathryn who had called out to him. Of course he masked his disappointment, affecting the solemn authoritarian attitude he did with all of his other slaves. He nodded his head once, not responding to Alice's favorite girl with words.

"I know you must be weary," Kathryn said, her eyes cast down in true obedience. "Alice sent me to see if you might need anything."

So she was still so angry with him that she would not even deign to welcome him home herself and sent a surrogate in her stead? he thought with frustration. Was his presence so abhorrent?

"Have some light refreshment brought to my study," he replied to the human girl. "I will be there all evening to catch up on the work I have missed in my absence and do not wish to be bothered. Dinner may be sent there as well."

"As you wish, Master," the human answered, quickly setting off to fulfill his request.

——

It was difficult to keep his mind in his work. Kathryn had come to the study soon after he'd settled, bringing tea sandwiches and fruit as a light snack. She had provided tea as well, but Magnus chose to open his bottle of brandy instead, hoping that the alcohol would take the edge off of his worries and his squabble with Alice.

He thought of his brother's words regarding the human he had kept so long. Was Torvald correct? Could it be that she was already changing in her older age? He'd vowed to keep her by his side as long as she had life left within her, but what if her sour attitude was a sign that she was growing weary of life in general? He'd never had such concerns before but somehow, he could not help but have them now, Torvald's comments worming their way inside his head.

If only she would speak with him candidly, he thought. If only he could force himself to set aside his pride and approach her without fearing the consequences.

A knock on the door of his study surprised him. It was not late enough for dinner yet, and his instructions to Kathryn should have been spread. He had requested privacy. The sibla workers should have already left for the day, so who would dare bother him?

"Come in?" he called out, eyes looking up from his papers. He was shocked to see Alice's figure in the doorway, standing there in silence.

"Alice," he said in surprise. Relief filled him at her presence. She was here. She had come to him of her own volition. But it was strange. Why did she not enter the room immediately?

"May I speak with you ?" the woman asked, still not coming forward.

"Of course," Magnus answered, standing and quickly welcoming her into his office, hoping that now they might truly talk. Perhaps they might finally ready the rift that had come between them. But taking closer note of her expression, Magnus felt a frown of concern spreading across his lips, worry wiping away his momentary optimism.

"What's wrong, Alice?" he asked. She looked so hesitant, melancholy. It was rare to see so much emotion on the woman's face and it was clear she was upset.

"I'm so sorry we fought, my friend," he said, trying to break the uneasy tension between them. "I should never have questioned you as I did. I should never have made you bear the burden of Judith's death so long. I should never have..."

"Stop!" she said, interrupting his words of repentance. "Please stop."

Magnus was shocked to see her eyes turned glassy, the threat of unshed tears brimming. He could not remember ever having seen her truly cry, but the women looked on the verge of breaking down. Alice shook her head in an attempt to master herself.

"You did nothing wrong, Magnus. I should have..." Alice stopped and shook her head again. "I should have told you. I'm sorry."

"Told me what?" he asked, his concern only heightened by her clear distress. He seldom saw Alice with anything less than perfect composure. This sudden display was upsetting. Alice stared at her hands, refusing to meet his gaze.

"Whatever it is Alice, I'm certain it can't be as bad as you seem to fear. Please sit down," he said, helping her to her favorite chair. He hated seeing her in so much distress. "You know you can tell me see anything."

"That's just it," she said. "There was no reason to keep this from you. The true reason I have been so on edge since you brought Rachel into our midst."

"Alice you needn't explain," he said, sitting across from her and taking her hand in his own. "I should have known her presence might be upsetting to you."

"But you never could have realized exactly why," she answered, shaking her head."You could not have known because I never had the courage to tell you why I truly rebelled against my old Master. I never told you about my child."

Magnus felt an uncomfortable churning in the pit of his stomach at her words.

Her child

He'd never really pressed Alice much for details of her life under Cedrick Dulane, somehow hoping that his kindness might erase the pain of her former existence. But he'd know it was a lie. Somewhere deep down, he knew the scars she carried.

"You had a child?" he asked, his throat dry as he forced the question through his lips.

"I had many children," she answered with a small nod. "I wasn't given any choice. My Master always chose the meanest and strongest among the males for breeding. The ones who could beat their women into submission. It was for the best that it was so. I was able to channel anger and pain I felt as they used my body into hating the offspring that came forth from their efforts. I had to. It was the only way to protect myself from the pain.

"I only seemed able to produce boys. My Master had no need of them as slaves. He kept very few males after all. My sons did not meet his standards as breeding stock. At most my children would live two or three years before they were harvested or sold off to other farms for further fattening and slaughter. I became used to it."

Magnus wished he could stop her words. That in not hearing of Alice's past it would not be real. There was a reason he could not breed slaves. The resentment in her voice as she spoke of her dead children was palpable. Of course he understood that what she described was standard. Many humans faced such a life on breeding farms. But this was Alice. The idea of her facing such suffering...it was unbearable.

"Then there was Mary," Alice continued. "My first baby girl. I cried when I held her in my arms. I knew my boys did not suffer long, but Mary. She would be forced to live as I had. A slave her entire life under a truly cruel master. Yet I couldn't help but be happy with my child."

Magnus's watched a wistful smile appear on the human woman's face.

"She was named for my mother, Mariana. I even dared to have hopes that she would live a true life and carry on my mother's memory, my own legacy. As she grew healthy and strong I saw Dulane favored her, as he had favored me in my youth. He promised Mary would remain in his care and could stay with me." Alice shook her head. "But I suppose promises made to humans meant nothing to him. She was only seven years old..."

"What happened?" Magnus asked, though he was certain he did not wish to hear her answer.

"It was my fault," she said. "Our Master was a hard man to serve, demanding, and that day he was in a foul mood. I don't even remember what it was the girl did to offend him. Burned his meal, spilled a drop of wine on the table cloth..."

"Your daughter?"

Alice shook her head. "No," she answered, "Another young slave. He lashed out at her. Beating her mercilessly. But I was there to witness and I couldn't help my reaction."

She stopped, closing her eyes for a moment as if reliving the memory.

"I couldn't let him kill her in front of me so I jumped in his way, pushing my Master from his victim."

Magnus felt himself cringe. He could only imagine what Dulane's reaction must have been to such insolence.

"I know," Alice said, seeing his reaction. "I should not have done it. I can still remember how he glared. I had been an obedient servant till then, rarely questioning any command, but in that poor girl, I saw my child. She was only a year or two older than Mary. I couldn't let him..." She shook her head. "Still, laying hands on him as I did. I had never imagined I could be capable of such grievous offense.

"Even as the girl trembled in my arms my heart pounded uncontrollably. I knew what I had done and I was certain he would murder us both on the spot... But he didn't. Dulane just left the room, leaving me on top of his bleeding victim, still shielding her from his rage. I took the poor child back to the slaves quarters and saw to her wounds.

"When Mary came to my bed that night I remember how tightly I held her. I knew she would soon be assigned to work in the main house. It was the best future she might have, but I didn't want her to be forced to serve our Master. I couldn't stand the idea of her suffering as I suffered. As we all suffered."

Magnus remained quite. There was nothing to say. Dulane had been a monster. The man's humans had suffered in ways unimaginable to him. He could hardly excuse it.

"The next morning I went back to Dulane," Alice continued. "I feared greatly the repercussions of the previous day, but he showed no signs of anger. He was cold towards me perhaps, but not much more so than usual. I decided to simply avoid him as much as possible, severing obediently as I always had, hoping his anger would simply continue to dissipate."

"But it didn't."

She shook her head. "No. When I went back to the slave quarters in the afternoon to see my daughter, Mary was not there. I did not worry at first. She was a favorite among the few older women Dulane kept to tend the children. They took care of her well. But when I asked around and found no one had seen her since the morning I grew frantic. She always met me for lunch at the same time each day. I couldn't imagine what might have happened to her, but I had a strange fear in the pit of my stomach. I remember knowing that something was wrong. Still fearing his wrath, I went to my Master. I had to find my daughter and no one was willing to stop their work to help me.

" 'Mary is missing,' I told him. 'Please tell me you know where she is.'

"'In the larder you will find your answer,' he answered. There was not an ounce of remorse or sympathy in his eyes."

Alice looked down at her hands. "For a moment I was certain I had misheard him."

" 'Why would she be there?' I asked naively. I still didn't understand, but I remember his response exactly.

"'I have had a distinct craving for veal,' he said. 'Go and prepare it for my dinner.' He left me before I even had time to process his words."

Magnus could see her eyes grow distant with the memory and he knew what the story's conclusion must be.

"I remember walking through the kitchen in a trance. Going to the larder. There she was, my beautiful child, hung by large metal hooks that had been strung through her ankles. The carcass had already been dressed, her heart, liver, and kidneys lay in bowls on the counter, but the body was whole, her head still attached by what remained of her neck. Her big green eyes dull and lifeless, stared at me accusingly."

"I wanted to be sick. I wanted to scream. Perhaps I did. I'm not certain what happened next. Someone must have found me and taken pity enough to help me home because I next remember finding myself in my bed. I cried until my eyes could no longer see.

"If my Master had had any mercy he might have allowed my to follow my daughter, releasing me to death, but Dulane was never merciful. He had far more interest in seeing me suffer. He did not permit me more than the evening to recover. The next morning at dawn Dulane had one of his overseers drag me back to the main house. He beat me for failing to prepare his meal, then sent me back to work."

Magnus wished he could say something, anything that might relieve the internal agony he saw in Alice's eyes as she came to the conclusion of her story. He wanted desperately to reach out and grab her in an embrace and take away her pain. But the human had curled in on herself, shoulder's hunched, arms wrapped around her own body. Gestures of closing off that he recognized clearly. She would only cringe from his touch. He was helpless to soothe her. Helpless to take away the past.

"I didn't resist or protest," Alice continued, eyes downcast. "I was beyond feeling any pain or grief. I did as I was told, going through the motions cooking and cleaning like a ghost, for that's what I was. I was dead inside. It was only a few months later that you first visited my Master. By then my sadness had congealed into an intense hatred. Of course, you know the rest of the story well enough."

"I can't believe you never told me," Magnus said, finally finding words in his mouth though he knew they were meaningless.

"You knew I was a breeder," she said, meeting his gaze again.

"Yes, but..." Magnus trailed off, entirely overcome with grief over the cruelty that was done to her. He knew the truth. It was not Alice's fault that he remained ignorant. He had never asked her for her stories because he didn't want to know. Her suffering was unbearable to him and so he chose to ignore the pain she might have faced in the past. In doing so he had opened this festering wound in her heart. He should never have brought the girl to his estate.

"Alice, I'm so sorry," he said. "I should not have gone to Gifre. I knew his reputation. The other slavers in town had only older specimens and the buyer had specially ordered veal. Gifre had two young males, exactly what I needed. And then there was Rachel.

"They'd thrown her into the lot with the boys hoping I might agree to take her along with the others. It was a deceptive tactic to unload wholesale meat at a premium price and I was certainly no fool. But I saw the fear in the child's eyes, I could see how much she had suffered already. I couldn't bring myself to leave her there."

He shook his head rejecting his own feeble excuses. There was no forgiving what he'd done to Alice in bringing Rachel home. "If only I'd known how much the girl's presence might hurt you I would never have taken her in."

"No," Alice said sharply cutting him off. "You did the right thing. I have seen Rachel's suffering as well. Had I been there I would have begged you to take her, for whatever purpose, if only to spare her more pain. In purchasing her you only proved to be the man I always knew you were. One of immense compassion and kindness."

"But..." He didn't know what to say. In spite of her words, Magnus truly wished he had made a different decision that day. He'd hoped that somehow he could spare Alice from ever feeling true pain again, but now he had brought back all this for her.

"Magnus, I am glad for it," she said, sensing his continued guilt. "Truly. Rachel needed salvation. You provided it."

Still he hesitated to speak again. As Alice praised his actions, he knew he was not worthy of her words. The child had been purchased as meat. He'd had no intention of feeding her for more than a year or so. Raising a human child to adulthood would be too costly, both financially and emotionally.

"And I know this changes nothing," she said, filling his silence. She'd no doubt guessed at his thoughts. "Rachel is not my daughter and I know well the purpose for which you brought her here. I ask only that you promise me two things."

"And they are? Magnus asked, somewhat hesitantly.

"I wish for warning," she answered. "Do not just take her from our midst. I don't believe I could handle that."

"Of course not," he said, surprised she would even feel the need to ask for such a pledge. "I would never keep such a thing from you. I never have."

"And you must promise me under no circumstances will you sell her to another in slavery. Rachel has experienced enough suffering in her life. No matter what you decide to do with her. You must be her only Master."

He nodded once. He could hear the desperation in her voice and wanted to do everything in his power to calm her fears. "I swear it to you easily, Alice," Magnus said, providing reassurance that he would do as he always did with all of his human flock, extending protection to Rachel for the duration of her life. "In fact," he added self-consciously, "I'm not sure there is anything I might deny you should you ask."

Alice did not answer his final comment, she merely stared at him with her signature unreadable expression he always found so chilling.

"Thank you," she said. Magnus watched as she sighed deeply. She looked exhausted as she sat there in silence. Unmoving.

"Are you all right, Alice?" he asked with concern, though of course he knew she wasn't. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

She forced a half-hearted smile to her face and shook her head. "Forgive me," she said. "It is a long time since I told that story to anyone. The wounds are just scars now but..."

"Rest, Alice," Magnus said, reaching out to place a protective hand on her shoulder. He was glad when she did not shrink from his touch. "Leave your work to the others for the remainder of the evening."

Alice only shook her head again. "No," she said, gently removing his hand and rising from her seat. "I'm fine. Work will help to distract me. But I am glad to have finally told you."

"Just take care of yourself," he said, unable to shake his concern and he stood as well, not fully certain he felt safe letting her out of his site in this condition. "I don't know what I would do without you."

She gave him another weak smile. "Thank you, Magnus. For everything you have given me. For what you have given all of us. Safety, protection. Know how grateful I am."

"I only seek to repay the debt I owe to you my friend," Magnus answered, taking her hand once again. "Though I fear I will never truly do so I will strive towards that goal for the rest of my life."

Alice did not resist as he stood and pulled her into a tight embrace.

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So now you know why Rachel's presence has been so hard for Alice. I know some of you had guessed that Alice might have had children in the past. Was this still surprising? I mean it was pretty bad...:-/ So what will this mean for Magnus and Alice going forward? For Rachel? I would love to hear your thoughts. New update coming on Friday. We will once again be in Rachel's pov. Wonder how she has been doing since we last saw her...