Alex's (POV)

            I'm sitting on a cold metal chair, both my legs and my arms strapped down.

            Razim is in the process of attaching those sensors with the sticky ends to my forehead, a couple to my bare chest.

         Julius stands in the corner, a smirk on his face.

         Once Razim finishes, he backs up, looking over his work. Turning around, he walks over to the television that's positioned in front of me, switching it on.

          "It seems Miss. Starbright here is being a bit adventurous today." Razim carelessly says.

          My heartbeat picks up when I notice its a live video feed of Jack. She knocks out a guard next to the gate, moving out from the view of the camera.

          She's escaping!

        The screen flickers, then it switches over to another view of Jack where it shows her getting into a Land Rover.

          I feel panic fill my chest, the breath leaving my lungs.

          It's too easy. Doesn't she see that?

          Who am I kidding? She wouldn't care if it seems too easy. She'd take any chance to get away, any chance if it meant she could help me.

          As headstrong as ever.

        "You destroyed everything." Razim's emotionless voice echoes throughout the room.

          Alarmed, I look up at him.

          "Don't hurt her." I beg.

          No jack, don't do this.

          Don't risk your life for me!

          Razim motions Julius over. He walks next to him, pulling out a small hand remote.

           My chest tightens in despair when I get an idea of what they're doing.

          My breathing picks up as I rigorously strain against the straps that are holding me down, my chest rapidly rising and falling.

          This can't be happening!

         "Please!" I shout, hearing the despair in my voice.

          Razim gives me a blank stare, Julius grinning as he clearly enjoys this. Razim leans uncomfortably closer to me, right up next to my ear.

           Then he whispers. "You destroyed everything." He repeats. "So I'm going to destroy everything you ever cared for."

           My heart stops, eyes widening.

            No.

           Quickly, I look back down at the screen.

          The vehicle must have a hidden camera in the dashboard. It's a view of her in the drivers seat, red hair in tangles, hands gripping the steering wheel with a white knuckle grip, face set in a determined frown.

         Then I understand.

        The camera.

       They planned the whole thing.

       "Julius." My eyes whip up towards them, their positions now next to the screen. Razim motions towards the controller, his eyes never leaving me.

        Julius - my clone, reaches his arm out with the controller, looking at me.

         I stare into his identical cold eyes, silently begging him not to do this. But all I see swirling in his dark eyes, is an all consuming hatred.

        Hatred for me.

        "NO!!" I scream in fury and despair as I watch myself slowly push down on the red button, my mind going haywire as I try to fully comprehend what's happening.

        The last thing I see before I blackout from the all the overwhelming emotions, is Jacks' unsuspecting body erupting with flames, skin completely melting off bones as the car bomb goes off.

         Her bright red hair disappearing with the flames.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

         I fling my eyes open, a gasp for air leaving my mouth.

         Tensing, I sit up.

          I check my surroundings, heart thumping in my ears.

          I'm in my room.

          I relax.

         Reaching a trembling hand up, I run it across my face.

         Jack.

         With a lump growing in my throat, I pull my legs up to my chest.

         Of course there had to be a Jack that lives here, bringing bad memories back to the surface. I hadn't really given it much thought yesterday.

         But you know, I was busy having a panic attack.

         I run a hand through my thick hair.

        I've noticed recently that sometimes certain things trigger my nightmares.

         Meeting Jack yesterday must've set me off more than I thought. I mean come on, it's just a name, thousands of people are named Jack.

         But to me, it's not just a name.

         I check my watch.

         4:05 A.M.

         Great, a grand stinking total of four hours of sleep. Fantastic. Knowing I'm not going to be able to get back to sleep, I shakily get to my feet.

         With trembling fingers I put my shoes on, softly cursing when I can't even tie my shoelaces correctly in this condition.

         Quietly I open my door, heading down the stairs. Carefully maneuvering around all the squeaky boards I've already memorized.

        Once I'm outside on the back deck, I let a big breath of air out I hadn't even noticed I'd been holding in.

       Looking up, I take in all the millions of bright stars. I sigh. Bet they don't have trouble sleeping.

        If they even sleep.....

        Shaking my head at my own silliness, I cautiously look around.

           I know I'm being overly paranoid, but after yesterday I can't help but think a dog might jump out and attack me.

          I'm a paranoid person.

         When I'm satisfied nothing's going to eat me, I make my way down towards the big oak tree with the tire swing.

         I've found it comforting to come out here after a specifically bad nightmare.

        Sitting down beside the trunk, I pull my knees back up to my chest, arms automatically wrapping around them.

         I don't know why I always sit like this when I'm overly worked up.

        It just feels.....comfortable.

        Coming out of my deep thoughts, I notice I'm still catching my breath, arms trembling, heart hammering.

       Attempting to calm myself down before I end up in another panic attack, I concentrate on all the night noises.

        Crickets chirping, owls hooting, the cool summer wind rustling the leaves in the trees.

        It helps a little.

       I literally feel like there's a brick laying on my chest.

        Guilt.

         I should've done things differently.

         So far I'd been doing a good job keeping the tears away, and I noticed I've been crying way too much this past week.

        But tears don't like to listen

       My eyes sting, and the tears start sliding uncontrolled down my face, jaw trembling.

       She probably felt something before she died.

       She suffered. Even if it was only for a couple seconds.

      And it was all my fault.

      I continue to let the tears fall, not bothering to conceal them. I deserve this, I deserve all this pain that eats me alive, that keeps me up until two o'clock at night, that burns inside of me wherever I go, whatever I do.

        I get swallowed into my own grief, tears blurring my eyesight for what feels like forever. But before I know it, the sun starts coming up, its rays of light hitting my face.

        Shaking my head, I pull myself away from my dark thoughts, my head feeling like it's in a black cloud.

       I check my watch.

        6:25 A.M.

      Lucy's probably inside making breakfast now, Don sitting at the table reading his newspaper while he waits.

         I'm not hungry.

        But they'll get worried.

        Getting up, I'm glad to see that I'm no longer trembling.

        I wipe my face off, feeling the grime on my skin.

        Though I should probably go wash my face off first, don't want them seeing the tear tracks.

       Making my way back inside, I catch a waft of bacon as I'm going up the stairs.

       My stomach turns.

       I grab a change of clothes, glad to see Mack isn't occupying the bathroom.

      Quickly showering, I get out, feeling the normal trembles run throughout my body, heart hammering in my ears.

       You could say I don't like water anymore. If you haven't already guessed that.

       Going out, I place my dirty clothes in the hamper.

       When I'm back downstairs, I head into the kitchen.

        Don's already sitting at the table - as predicted, absentmindedly reading the newspaper. Lucy over at the oven as usual.

          Mack nowhere in sight.

         He's obviously not a morning person.

        Sitting down, I'm greeted with a morning from both Lucy and Don. I force myself to mumble out a reply.

        Catching the smell of bacon again, my stomach gives another painful twist.

        Trying to ignore it, I get a drink of orange juice that's already been poured into my cup.

          Lucy walks over, placing a slice of toast, two pieces of bacon, and a couple scoops of scrambled eggs on my plate.

        She moves onto Don, and I just stare down at my plate.
 
        I can't eat all that.

        Not wanting to be rude, I take a small bite of toast.

        "I've told you guys this like a million times. Y'all get up way too early." A yawning Mack says while walking over to his seat.

       Don looks amused. "Are we stunting your growth?" He playful asks.

       Mack frowns - like he's seriously thinking the question over. "Yeah, no wonder I'm so short." He replies, sitting down.

         Lucy smiles. "Well you do come from a family of short people, dear." She serves Mack some food. "So don't expect to grow much." She finishes off with a smirk.

         Mack frowns again. "Totally not fair." He grumbles, stuffing food in his mouth.

         I manage to force down two bites of toast, three spoonfuls of eggs, and a nibble of bacon. Mentally patting myself on the back, I decide I can't eat anymore.

        Nudging my plate up a little, I cover a yawn as I take my pills.

        I don't care what you think. Four hours of sleep is not enough time for some people to function properly.

         I notice Lucy eyeing my still full plate, then she switches to examining my face with keen eyes.

         I avoid eye contact.

        When I'm about to get up and head to my room, she starts talking.

        "So Alex, Mack." We both look over at her. "After lunch, me and Don have something planned to do today." She announces.

         I frown slightly.

          I'm not in the mood for 'doing things'.

         I just want to go lay on my bed, and not do anything.

          I nod, excusing myself from breakfast.

         I make it back up to my dark room, laying down on my bed as I become aware of the weight that's back on my chest.

          It had mostly been gone when I was in the company of everyone else, my mind off it. But now it's back full force.

        The doctor back at the hospital had said it's best for me to stay around people whenever I get this feeling.

        Whenever I get depressed.

        But like I said earlier, I deserve to feel this way.

        Curling up on the bed, I feel a hollowness fill my heart, the cloud settling back in my head.

         No one cares for me, everyone's against me. Don and Lucy are just pretending, I can't trust them, can't let them in.

        Jack was the only one I could trust.

         I shouldn't even be alive after everything I've endured. She should.....They should.

         Banishing those thoughts from my mind, I shake my head, a whimper making its way out of my mouth.

        They do care for me. It's not just an act.

       It's. Not. Just. An. Act.

       With these thoughts racing through my mind, I manage to fall into a much needed  fitful sleep.

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A/N

Hi guys!!!

          So for those of you who've read the actual books, I just wanted to remind you that everything I write will Not go along 100% with the books. I changed some things or I might have just forgotten or something. (I'm only human) (Sadly) 😄

          Sorry this chapter is kinda short, but I might be making them shorter from now on. It seems to work better with my schedule.

          Special thanks to Fantasy_Sky731!!!!

         Also,

         Everyone's Awesome!!!

         So COMMENT!! Tell me what you think.😍

         And don't forget VOTE!!!

       Oh. And if anyone has somebody on Wattpad they know, or your just friends with on here. And you know they like the Alex Rider series or just like this type of story I would LOVE it if you'd recommend my story to them!!! 🙏🏻🤗😁

       I'm always excited to have new readers!!!

Next update: Thursday...hopefully. 😁

         Thanks everyone!!!!😃

          Maggy

Edited: 6/8/17