BDSM: KINK VS. FETISH - mercedesbenzodiazpne

I cannot count the number of times that I have seen and read the terms kink and fetish being used in an interchangeable fashion.

It used to mean that a fetish was something that you needed to get off and without it, you didn't achieve sexual gratification.

A kink was of something generally outside of sexual norms that added to the relishment of sex, or something not inherently sexual from which you derived sexual gratification.

Then fetish began to mean something that was an obsession or fixation that was of marked sexual significance to someone, and kink started to mean BDSM. Then it was that a kink was something mild - such as asphyxiation or cuckolding - and a fetish was something extreme or very taboo, like gaping or knife play.

There have been all kinds of different usages over time that have rendered the distinction quite hazy. Indeed, they both have to do with sex and compared to vanilla escapades, they are both considered gravely risqué, but they do differ.

What is this difference?

FETISH: A fetish is something that is required for or very central to your sexual experience. It's a more narrow and focused interest which may or may not on the surface be as readily identifiable as sexual, but may spur a sexual response in a person.

Examples may include stiletto heels, panties, furries, handcuffs, latex, dolls or feet.

KINK: A kink is less of a requirement or core aspect of your sexual personality but it is something that greatly enhances it. Kinks are painted with a broader stroke and actually tends to be intertwined with normal or vanilla sex practices and behaviours.

Examples could include anal sex, fisting, gaping, cuckolding, or female domination.

In general understanding, a fetish usually has to do with objects and revolves something completely non-sexual whereas a kink revolves around sexual concepts and behaviours.

If you're reading this because you'd like to better understand books that include BDSM or you're looking to incorporate it into your lifestyle, learn! Research! That way when you come across BDSM in literature or conversation - you know what you're reading and you'll know what you're talking about.

If you're writing BDSM, and I assume because you're reading this that you are, it is paramount to do right by the BDSM community and learn the terms and learn the difference between concepts that sound as if they mean the same.