┌────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────┐
chapter nine
TAKE A BREAK,
STEVE SAID
└────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────┘

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

"PARKER? PARKER!" THE AGITATED voice of Nick Fury shouts to a dazed Peter, effectively snapping the boy out of his stupor.

He whirls around, eyes wide upon being startled. "Yes, sir."

"That thing is going to be here in a few hours. Are we boring you?"

"He's not bored, he's just thinking about how you kidnapped him," Beck counters from the opposite side of the room from Fury, Dmitri, and Maria. "Look at them– they clearly don't like the fact that they were brought here against their will."

He's referring to the fact that Lena is standing with her ankles crossed and arms hugged tightly against her chest, trying to make her trembling episode less obvious, while Graham is senselessly nodding along to everything that's being said without absorbing any of it. Their minds are completely preoccupied with other things. Lena is so groggy that it takes all of her effort to make sense of people's words. Peter had stared into the flames crackling in the fireplace behind her for approximately seven minutes straight. Graham is likely thinking about how he'll reconcile with his brothers, playing over the conversation they'll have in his head.

All of these factors are making for an unsatisfactory debriefing meeting.

Lena isn't sure where they are. She feels like a rag doll being dragged from place to place with little idea of what's going on. The room that Dmitri had led them to is vast, with the checkered floor tiles stretching on in a dizzying pattern and centuries-old paintings lining the neutral-colored walls. The mantle behind the teenagers is so grand that it's taller than Graham, the fire warming the backs of their legs and dotting the nape of Lena's neck with sweat.

Fury is seated on one of the tables he had set up before their arrival. This must be some sort of dining room– the ornate, dark-wooden table is incredibly long and has equally-sized benches on either side. A few of their technology team's computer monitors had been set up as well. Their screens display heat signatures and seismic activity from where they're placed on another table against the wall. Fury pays them no mind as he regards the teenagers with annoyance wrinkling his features.

Instead of sitting with the others, Beck stands to Lena's far-right side, fully-dressed in his superhero costume, maroon cape and all. His expression is much more sympathetic than Fury's. Unlike the former SHIELD director's, he seems to understand why the three teenagers are acting the way they are.

"They had obstacles," Fury says in a tone devoid of compassion. "I removed them."

"And they still won't evacuate the city," Maria reports as she turns away from a monitor she'd been observing, placing an impatient hand on her hip.

The man sighs with a roll of his eye. "Idiots." He shakes his head, turning to the three teenagers expectantly. "So, what's the plan?"

Peter replies, "I will be in the cathedral tower, keeping watch for the fire monster."

"I've got the roof of the National Theater," Lena adds.

"And I'm assigned to the auction house," Graham finishes.

"When it appears, we'll radio you guys, and then we'll move in with Mr. Beck–"

"My name is Mysterio," he interrupts, making an exaggerated, wide-eyed facial expression that makes their miserable expressions crack a bit.

Peter continues a fraction more lightheartedly than before. "That's when we'll move in with Mysterio."

"Kids, listen to me," Beck says, all traces of jokes gone from his voice. "The best hope you have – the only hope – is to stop it here and now, no matter what the cost. Maneuver it away from civilians if you can, but most importantly, keep it away from metal. If it gets too big, it'll be able to draw power from the Earth's core. After that, there is no way to stop it."

For several long moments, the only sound in the room is the crackling of the fireplace as Beck's words settle in. Lena edges away from the flames. Her nerves, in combination with her increased body temperature from her trembling, is making her feel like she's in close proximity to the Elemental already.

The news of the gravity of the situation puts a heavy blanket over the mood of the room, smothering it until it becomes difficult for Lena to breathe properly. She glances at Graham to see his reaction, but he's already dazed again. She'll have to ask him what he thinks about this later.

Instead, Lena gains some stability by glancing to her right at Peter, who is already looking at her. She sees similar anxieties lurking in his eyes which swim with uncertainty. His lips are pressed into a grim line, a motion she knows is to keep his own fears less obvious. Reaching over, she slips her hand into his and gives it a comforting squeeze.

Peter inhales deeply and turns back to Beck, apparently having remembered Ned's concerns about dying in a fiery explosion. "Hey, man, our friends are here, and I can't help but think we're putting them in danger–"

"You worry about us hurting your friends?" Fury demands so harshly that it makes all three of their heads snap up to look at him. He pushes himself into a standing position and walks toward them with a cutthroat glare that has Lena's heart thudding in her chest instantly. "You, Parker, who ordered a drone strike on your own school tour bus? Stark gave you a multi-billion dollar AI tactical intelligence system, and the first thing you do with it is try to blow up your friends! It's clear to me that you were not ready for this."

Lena, shaking now from mostly rage, observes how Peter shrinks back at Fury's tone and averts his gaze to the floor. His hand is tense in her own. A moment later, he drops it, folding his hands in front of him and bowing his head in an effort to make himself smaller. Her eyes narrow when they dart back to Fury. All of the rage, fatigue, and anxiety from the past few days pull back like a rubber band, then snap at once in a conflation of negative energy.

"We wouldn't have been on that school tour bus if it hadn't been for your interference with our vacation," she spits, her normally respectful tone shifting to borderline contempt as she sharpens her voice to something that could cut like a blade. Her hands curl into fists at her sides. "If you hadn't kidnapped us, we would have been safely on our way to Paris and wouldn't have gotten caught undressing with your suit designer, which wouldn't have nearly gotten us suspended. So don't blame this all on us when you were at fault, too."

She's nearly breathless after forcing all of that out so fast, shoulders heaving in time with her heavy pants. The room is quiet again as everyone waits for Fury's retaliation. Maria avoids their gaze, blowing air out of the corner of her mouth. None of the tech team's eyes are moving as information pours onto their screens. Even Dmitri's eyebrows are raised a bit.

Fury's back is facing her. He'd frozen in the middle of her tirade, standing dangerously still for seconds that seem to stretch into years until he finally turns around ever-so-slowly. Somehow, it's worse than if he had whirled at her. The sound of his boots thudding on the ground as he walks toward her with a dangerously passive expression makes her blood freeze in her veins. Even so, she doesn't back down, doesn't look away or show how afraid she is. The fire in her eyes rivals that of the one burning behind her.

Fury stops right in front of her, staring down at her with an expression so blank it's unnerving. It's worse – so much worse – than his rage and disappointment from before. She'd rather have him yell back with his lip curled than have him regard her as if she isn't worthy of witnessing his emotions.

"I rescued you for a reason: because I knew you could become something more," he says flatly. "Forgive me for having some faith in you. Apparently, it was too much." He holds her stare for a moment before turning away and waving a careless hand. "Dismissed."

Everyone stays frozen. Graham, having snapped back out of it, glares at Fury with his signature laser-eyed glower that reveals more about his feelings than words ever could. Judging by how tense his body is, he must be restraining the shadows that spread from him when he feels too much of a particular negative emotion.

When nobody moves for several more seconds, Fury repeats more firmly this time, "Dismissed!"

Maria catches Lena's eye, her expression slightly sympathetic, and mouths, "Go."

She's the first to start walking to the door that's past Beck. He watches them leave, shifting his weight onto his opposite foot and making his green suit sparkle beneath his golden armor as it catches the light. The sight makes him impossible to ignore as she moves by him, accidentally locking eyes with him. He gives her a small nod of support before she tears her gaze away and opens the heavy oak door, storming into the hallway.

Lena doesn't stop moving until they're out in the open again, the warm evening air making her sigh in relief. It helps clear her mind as she, Peter, and Graham stand in front of the elaborate building with three very different expressions on their faces. Lena is upset more than anything. Her eyebrows are pinched, muscles tight and pent-up energy begging to be released. Graham still seems like he wants to challenge Fury to a scathing staring contest. Peter looks downright miserable, shoulders slumped and eyes blinking so they don't fill with exasperated and humiliated tears.

"Now what?" he asks, the dejected expression on his face making Lena's heart pinch. "I'm not going back to the hotel right away, that's for sure."

Graham nods in understanding. He takes deep breaths through his nose to calm himself down, exhaling through his mouth before speaking. "I think I'm gonna go talk to my brothers before this whole thing starts again. I don't want us to be fighting and then..."

He trails off, voice becoming choked at the mere thought of something happening to his siblings. The swallow that bobs his throat seems almost painfully thick.

Lena pulls him into a hug. The strong, comforting aura to his familiar embrace helps temper the anger still crackling inside of her like sparks, washing some of it away when his arms wrap around her. Though she's not short in comparison to most girls her age, she's still a shrimp in contrast to him. Her face buries itself near his shoulder for a moment before she pulls away. "Things'll work out."

Graham nods again. "I hope so."

He turns to Peter, who holds out his hand. They perform some sort of handshake that guys do, the action so smooth it's like it's muscle memory.

"Good luck, man," Peter says in a quiet tone.

Graham lifts his lips in a small grin that doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Thanks. See you guys later."

The two of them watch him turn and walk down the street in the direction of their hotel. Luckily, it's not too far from their current location, so she isn't worried about him getting lost. He's more than capable of handling himself.

Lena glances at Peter. "What do you wanna do? Do you wanna go somewhere, or..."

He shrugs, pulling his bottom lip into his mouth for a moment. "I don't know. I just – I think I need to be alone for a bit, think about some things. Fury... his words hit hard."

Lena's heart clenches once more. She turns to face him, forehead wrinkled in concern. The tightness of his face and the way he's carrying himself – like he doesn't want to be seen – reminds her of when Tony had taken away his suit after they'd accidentally nearly sunken a ferry. Instead of accepting her help to bring him home, he'd preferred to travel all the way back to Queens by himself. There's still one key difference between that time and right now, though.

"I know you don't want to hear a speech," she says, placing a gentle hand on his forearm, "so I won't give you one. Please be careful, Peter."

Last time, Lena couldn't lean forward and press her lips to his cheek as she does now. She lingers for just a second before pulling back and observing his reaction. The walls that he'd been steadily building up have fallen a little, allowing him to give her a small quirk of his lips. It's a monumental task for the emotions crashing around inside of him. She returns the expression, hoping that even if she isn't feeling the best either, she can help him feel a little better.

They part ways. Lena realizes when she begins walking that she has no idea where to go. Obviously, she's never been to Prague, nor does she have any money with her. All she has is her cell phone and the clothes on her back.

The streets are busy as people prepare for tonight's festival. Lena's pride still stings too much to truly absorb the picturesque beauty of the lanterns adorning the streets and elaborate costumes that some people are wearing. Despite the torment inside of her, her fingers still itch for her Polaroid camera. She would love to capture some of these moments on film.

Her orange sneakers support her feet as she walks several blocks, the warm air keeping her from shivering. She'd changed before she'd left. Though the clothes she'd worn on the bus ride to Prague hadn't been dirty, she'd felt less clean from sitting in there all day and wanted a fresh set of clothes. Her denim shorts have small daisies embroidered on them and her t-shirt matches the color of her shoes. Fortunately, all of the chaos on the streets prevents her loud colors from making her conspicuous.

The farther she walks, the less densely-packed the streets become. Eventually, she reaches a point where she doesn't see another person on the same street. She quickly double-checks that nobody is around before ducking into an alley and expelling enough energy from her palms to launch her onto the roof of an empty theater. The building is taller than the one she'd sat on in Venice, but there's no water beneath her to disrupt her nerves. She's gotten used to heights now; it doesn't bother her when she perches near the edge and folds her legs criss-cross applesauce.

She hadn't known what she'd expected to happen when she met Nick Fury for the first time since her infant years. Surely, snapping at him hadn't been on the agenda, but she truly doesn't understand him. It's clear to her that his brain sees only a task and ways to complete it in whatever ways possible. Damn the consequences. If people are hurt along the way, he doesn't care as long as the job is done. Hell– if all of her friends were killed by the Elemental, she wouldn't be surprised if he put her right on a new assignment without condolences.

That isn't Lena's way of looking at the world. She's always aware of civilians– painfully conscious of all the people she could hurt if things go wrong on a mission. It would destroy her if her friends got hurt because she'd been forced to go along with this. She's sure that Peter and Graham would feel the same.

According to her phone, she has about thirty minutes before she has to head back to the hotel for check-in. She notices a new text after checking the time.

BRUCE BANNER: Just saw the news about Venice. Hope you guys are safe!

Lena appreciates the concern, but doesn't know how to respond. Yeah, we're fine, just really irritated by Nick Fury, who ambushed our vacation? Really scared that my friends could die tonight if I fail? Hoping I don't get burned alive by a giant monster made of fire?

In the end, she decides to reply with, Everything is fine, thanks for the concern! before locking her screen and sighing. Lying doesn't feel good, but she doesn't want Bruce to worry too much. She'll be able to tell him the truth once this is all over.

If it ever ends.

Lena shakes her head and squeezes her eyes shut against her negative thoughts. She has to believe it ends at some point. Steve had advised her to take a break. Now that she isn't sure if she'll ever see him again, she needs to take his words to heart. Life can't just be about fighting battles, right? There has to be a pause somewhere, a moment where she can catch her breath.

All her life, Lena has struggled to stay out of things. She'd always stuck up for what she believed in and spoke against bullies. It seems that the issue has cost her deeply. Even if she was given an exit door right now – even if Fury gave her free plane tickets to go back home to Queens – she couldn't do it. Not knowing that her friends are in danger and people could die if she doesn't help Beck. Even if she doesn't like that she's being forced to do this, now that she's aware of the gravity of the situation, she can't walk away.

Maybe she's more like Steve Rogers than she'd originally thought.

Lena opens her eyes and stares at her fidgeting hands in her lap. She misses him so much. And Tony, and Natasha– all of the people she'd encountered during the battles with Thanos. They had brought everyone together, but now they're dispersed around the cosmos again. Some are traveling to other planets. Some... some are buried six feet under.

Her chest feels tight. She digs her nails into her palms, eyes watering at the sharp sting. She quickly backs away from the edge of the building once she recognizes the signs of an attack. Panic or anxiety – she isn't sure – but she can feel the now-familiar symptoms of her breathing becoming rapid and shallow, limbs shaking more than usual and her skin becoming unbearably warm.

Through the chaos in her brain, she almost doesn't hear someone's voice ask, "Hey, what's going on?"

Lena becomes aware of a person standing beside her. She hadn't realized her eyes had been screwed shut and her fingers are buried in her hair. She blinks, revealing the swirling colors of the skyline and the turquoise-glowing costume of Mysterio.

"Okay, hey, deep breaths." Beck's voice is softer than she's heard it thus far, helping her through the attack by distracting her. "Deep breaths. There you go. Tell me five things you can see."

Lena's brow wrinkles. "What?"

"It's called grounding. Five things you can see. Go."

"Um" – Lena forces her eyes to focus, the dizzying colors of Prague's faraway festival tuning in and out – "I see th-that street lamp over there and a... a tree, I think." She swallows, the movement uncomfortable because her mouth is dry. "I see a lady holding her kid's hand, a vendor trying to sell something, and the building in front of us."

It's working. Her mind is settling down, grateful for the focus on her surroundings instead of the terror that had been constricting her chest.

Beck nods. "Good. Now four things you can touch."

It goes on like this for several minutes until Lena is completely calm. The process stops at one thing she can taste, which only ends up being the bland taste of her own mouth, but is enough to make her realize that her heart has stopped pounding and her lungs are no longer tight.

She turns to Beck, eyes shining with gratitude. "Thank you."

"No problem," he replies. "My son used to get those. I've had a lot of practice."

Her eyes momentarily latch onto his gloved hands where she knows his golden wedding band is. Then, feeling guilty for doing so, she averts her gaze away and tries not to think about the time when Tony had helped her through her first attack. Dwelling on it for too long might make another one happen.

"I think it was really brave of you, sticking up to Fury like that," Beck tells her. "He doesn't seem like the kind of guy who gets called out on his bullshit a lot."

She scoffs, rolling her eyes. "Well, he didn't seem to care. But... thanks."

"No problem. And, just wondering, is teenage brooding on top of rooftops really common on this Earth? Because I just found Peter about a mile away doing the exact same thing."

Lena actually manages to laugh a little this time. "It's more of a teenage superhero thing. What better way to sort out your inner turmoil than sitting on top of a tall building and looking at the pretty sky?"

Beck grins, showing his perfect teeth, light eyes crinkling at the corners. The turquoise embedded in his golden armor illuminates his face in a bluish glow that contrasts the warm lighting coming from the street lamps and lanterns strung around the surrounding area. She smiles a tiny bit in return.

"Sorry if this is a random question, but I've been wondering this whole time... " he pauses before continuing, "is your brother here?"

It hits her like a sucker punch to the gut. Nobody has ever mentioned her sibling before. The only people who know about him are her, Peter, and Graham. Tony had as well. Other than that, nobody knows about him because, according to most records, he'd never existed.

Just to be clear they're talking about the same person, Lena snaps her head toward him and questions carefully, "Do you mean Keanu?"

Beck nods. "Yeah, I wasn't sure if he came along or stayed at home, but you haven't mentioned him, so I thought I'd ask."

She struggles to make sense of this. He talks about her brother as if he's an old friend, like they'd been personally acquainted.

"Did you know him?" she asks instead of answering right away, eager to receive more information about the brother she'd never met.

"He was a part of the last battalion left to destroy the Elementals. Over the time we spent fighting them together, we got fairly close. He was friends with my son." Beck glances at her. "His powers were quite similar to yours, except they focused on electricity instead of energy."

Lena absorbs this information like a sponge. Her heart aches for the brother she'd never gotten to meet, the boy who'd unfairly perished due to their parents' cruel experiments. Ever since she'd learned of his existence, she's felt the loss of him like a missing lung. She wonders what he'd be like if he'd survived. What their relationship would be like. Whether he'd be into science like her or more artistically inclined. If he'd survived the snap, he would have been about twenty-three.

She doesn't hide the excitement gleaming in her eyes when she asks, "What was he like?"

"One of the bravest kids I knew," he responds. "Always eager to help people and really good with his powers. He could never walk away from a battle." He playfully nudges her arm with his elbow. "He seems a lot like you."

"Yeah." Her breath comes rushing out in a proud sigh, her longing for Keanu mounting by a tenfold. She wets her lips before breaking the bad news. "He... um... he died shortly after birth. I never knew him."

Lena doesn't offer more details than that. She doesn't like talking about her parents to those she isn't that close with – or in general, really. Beck doesn't have to know that she was born to be a weapon.

The man looks down at the alley below, sorrow filling his gaze. "I'm sorry. After the fire Elemental destroyed the rest of the battalion and my Earth, I had hoped –" He cuts himself off, shaking his head. "Never mind. I'm just making it worse."

"No." Lena shakes her head adamantly. "You actually helped a lot. It's nice to know that there was a world that he got to live a little longer."

He nudges her again. "Well, I'm always here for a talk."

"Thanks."

She feels a lot lighter than she had been before she'd arrived on this rooftop, ignited with a new sense of determination for the upcoming battle. She has to defeat it– to show Fury that he wasn't wrong to place his faith in her, to keep her friends safe, and to avenge the alternate version of Keanu who had perished fighting it.

A quick glance at the time has Lena jumping. "Shit. I have to go back to the hotel for check-in. Thank you again, and I'll see you out there."

He gives her a dazzling smile and a wave. "See you."

She jumps down from the building, using sheets of energy under her feet like steps down a staircase until she safely drops to the ground. As she walks back in the direction of the hotel, she wonders if Peter's spirits had picked up after Beck's visit as well. It's clear that the man has a natural talent for cheering others up– particularly teenagers. A part of her surmises that it's because of the kids he'd lost.

Lena hadn't been certain before, but now she knows it: she's ready to face this thing and anything it can throw at her.

_____________

a/n:

me writing the beck x lena scene and getting way too into my own sadness about keanu:

please let me know what you guys prefer: shorter chapters consisting of 1-2 longer scenes or long chapters that contain more scenes? shorter chapters would allow me to update quicker and would make the book longer, but the past 4 chapters have *literally* all been from the same day and the next 3-4 will all be from it as well (the joys of ffh taking place over like... a week).

i'm excited to get back into some action during the next chapter! i've missed writing about lena's powers and i can't WAIT to finally include scenes i've been planning for months.

also... the one and only (fake) alternate universe earth-833 keanu santos that mysterio was talking about is played by *drumroll* darren criss!! i was going to have him be played by hailee's actual brother, griffin, but then i was like "i love darren criss" and chose him instead

so now you can put a face to the name and be sad with me that mysterio's version of keanu doesn't even exist and he's saying it just to get lena to trust him :) yay for manipulation!!

UPDATE: GUYS i uploaded this on april 15 and i just remembered that it's lena's birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY LENAAAA

—kristyn