"This is it." Tucker says as he, Zone, Xi, Wash, and Simmons are standing in Blue Base. "This is rock bottom. You ever hit rock bottom before Zone? Well, you have now. 'Cause this is it. Can't get any lower." 

"(Sniff) I wanna go home." Simmons says tearing up. 

"Okay well maybe I spoke too soon." 

"Attention. Officer on deck." Freckles announces as Caboose walks in. 

"Yes. Yes. Hello, thank you yes, hello. Thank you, you're welcome, yes thank you. Hhcheh, hceh, hh. Hello!" Caboose says waving. 

"Captain, all team members are accounted for." 

"Well, excellent news, Assistant Captain Freckles." 

"Oh my lord." Tucker groans. 

"Hi. It looks like we have a new member today. Yes, give Simmons a big Blue Team hello. Yes, welcome to Blue Team, Simmons." Caboose then claps for Simmons. 

"Can I leave?" Simmons asks. 

"It is good to have you on board today for the Blue Team." 

"Sir. Awaiting mission briefing." 

"Oh, yes, right, oh God, right yes. Um okay uh...yes. First order of business is t-um... uh...Zone. Psst, Z-Zone. Arizona, Arizo-Arizona, Zone. Zone, Zone, Zone-

"Yes, Caboose?" Zone says trying not grit his teeth. 

"What is the first order of business?" Caboose inquires. 

"We're trying to get rescued." Xi answers. 

"Oh, yes, rescued! Yes excellent. Does anyone have any, suggestions?" 

Zone and Wash look at each other. 

"Hh, well, we know the communications tower works, so we should continue in our efforts to make contact." Wash suggests. 

"Ah, yes. Very good, excellent yes." 

"However, we should also work on trying to boost the signal of the radio transmitter. We were barely able to maintain a steady line of communication last time. Even if we make contact again there's no guarantee anyone would be able to understand us." Zone adds. 

"Ah! Yes, uh- right, yes. Yes, then we need to do that! Tucker! Go fix the radio thing!" Caboose orders. 

"Me? Why not Zone or Wash? They're the ones who built it." 

"Tucker, becau- don't rook it, alright listen. We're gonna keep Zone and Wash here for another job."  

"But, uh- Caboose..." Freckles turns to Zone, making him growl under his breath. 

"Yeah, I'm thinking that you know, uh, Zone and Washington are mean and scary. Yes, yes, they will be our lookouts!" Caboose states. 

"Lookout?" Tucker questions. 

"Yes. Zone and Washington, make sure you look out, for bad guys! And, anything, that looks scary." 

"There's a giant robot trying to kill me." Zone mutters. 

"Yeah, why can't Freckles be our lookout?" Tucker asks. "Killing stuff is like, his entire reason for existing." 

"Well um, every great leader needs a great best friend, and Freckles, I think you could be that best friend." Caboose says patting Freckles' leg. 

"Acknowledged." 

"Um, do I need to do anything?" Simmons asks. 

"Oh my God a Red, oh my- oh no sorry, sorry it's my bad. Sorry, sorry. Yeh Simmons, yes Simmons we got- we have to talk about it. Yes, um, Simmons...you do what you, ah, normally do for the Reds. But instead...for the Blues." Caboose replies. 

"Uh, yes sir." 

"Wait, what is your job for the Reds?" Tucker asks. 

"What do you mean, I just did it." Simmons states. 

"Believe it or not, he just did." Xi whispers to Tucker. 

"Okay everybody! Aaaaand Team! Alright see you, bye." Caboose walks out, leaving Zone to glare at Tucker. 

"Really hope you're happy nit-wit." Zone says before he, Xi, and Wash leave. 

"Hey, don't pin this crap on me." Tucker scowls before heading to the Comm Tower. 

"I'll just, stay here I guess." Simmons shrugs. 

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

At Red Base, Doc is busy bandaging Donut's foot with Grif standing nearby. 

"Alright, you're all patched up." Doc says putting Donut's boot back on. 

"I can't feel my toes. Is that normal?" Donut asks. 

"Umm, let's go with yes?" 

"Works for me." 

Doc turns to Grif. "You know the next time someone comes to help you, I wouldn't really recommend beating the crap out of them." 

"Well the next time somebody comes to help us, I hope they actually bring us help." Grif shoots back. 

"Hey, I take offense to that." 

"Yeah, it's called an insult." 

"Oh." Doc lowers his head. 

"So what the heck happened?" Donut asked. "After you guys dropped me off at Valhalla, you guys were supposed to be going back to Blood Gulch." 

"Well, funny story..." Grif says chuckling nervously. 

(FLASHBACK) 

Back inside the ship, one of the Operators is standing next to a console that has been soaked with Coca-Cola. 

"Oh my God, who spilled soda all over my instruments?" 

"Oh my God, I spilled my soda?" Grif cried before the alarms went off. 

(FLASHBACK OVER) 

"Somehow, the ship crashed, but uh, no-one seems to know why or, how or, when or-" 

"Men!" Sarge yells running up to the three. 

"I didn't do it, you can't prove that I did!" Grif protests quickly. 

"It's time we took action." Sarge commands. 

"Oh, we're not gonna do anything violent, are we? Remember I'm a pacifist." Doc points out. 

"Yeah, but think about it: Can't spell pacifist without fist. Which you need to throw a punch. That always leads to fighting, the precursor to a full-out battle. Which is ultimately the first step on the inevitable road to war! Violence is unavoidable Doc. Time to just admit you've got a natural-born pacifist lust for murder!" 

"Huhh, why do I even bother?" Doc sighs shaking his head. 

"Oh come on Doc, where's your sense of adventure? We're a bunch of strapping young men stranded in the wilderness. If that doesn't sound like a good time, I don't know what does." Donut replies. 

"I'm starting to remember why I don't like you." Grif states. 

"It's just like camping. Who wants to help me pitch a tent?" 

"Yep, there it is." 

"Since landing in this forsaken canyon, we've let Rex and Washington make all the decisions. And just look where that's gotten us: the Warthog is destroyed; we're running low on food; and Simmons is being held prisoner." 

"Basically everything's pretty messed up." Grif translates. 

"It's high time we took matters into our own hands! Red hands. The days of standing idly by, while the Blues do interesting and convoluted things are over!" Sarge cried. 

"All right! It's our time to shine. Can I get a heck yeah?" Donut asked. 

"Heck no." 

"Close enough." Donut shrugged. 

"What I'm about to propose to you gentlemen, is in no way simple, smart, or seemingly possible." 

"Solid pep talk so far Sarge." Grif says aloud. 

"There's one thing in this canyon that's been the source of all our problems. If we want to get out of here alive, we're going to have to eliminate it. Boys, we've got to kill Freckles." Sarge states. 

"Uh, we don't know who that is. We just got here." Doc replies. 

"The robot." 

"You mean Lopez?" Donut asks. 

<I think they're talking about us!> 2.0 tells Lopez. 

<Unless they are talking about building me a new body I don't give a crap.> Lopez says back. 

"No, the giant robot that belongs to Caboose? AKA the thing that will freaking kill us if we get anywhere near it. So exactly how do you plan on "eliminating" it Sarge?" Grif asks. 

"Well if our ship was carrying something as big as Freckles, I figure it may have also been carrying something big enough to break him." 

"We're going aboard the ship?" 

"We'll move in tonight. Donut, you guard the base while we're gone." 

"Awesome." Zone and Wash run up. 

"Hey. You guys haven't seen anything, suspicious, around, have you?" Wash asks. 

"Uh suspicious, why whatever do you mean, Agent Washington?" Sarge asks. 

"(Sighs), nothing, just...doing our job." Zone answers as the Freelancer duo leaves. 

"Nice save Sarge. Very convincing." Grif says sarcastically. 

"Heh heh. Acting." Sarge chuckles. 

(AND THAT IS WHY YOU DIDN'T WIN 'BEST SARGE' IN THE RTX CAROLINA TALKED ABOUT!)