125. Recognition

Our talk began with atonement.

It was a nervously solemn conversation, meaningless apologies thrown around for the sake of politeness, etiquette we somehow wished to fulfill. Explanations given-- about Drew, about my Father's identity, about his threat to a certain secret of theirs, so confidential even Reborn wouldn't know about-- and we came to an understanding and mutual gave each other a meager offering of regret.

Then, it was time for business.

"I would like to simply clarify that I won't find it in myself to forgive you guys, not at all," I spoke, spite heavy in my tone and the hate in my glower heavy enough to sunken my eyelids, "I'll hold my hate upon you guys for eternity, is that alright with you?"

Their response was surprisingly compliant, "Of course. We don't take on this job without knowing to shoulder the burden of hatred and the weight of taking lives."

I tutted in annoyance, unhappy that they were so unaffected. 

"So," Bermuda folds his fingers before him, his face wrapped in bandages so tight I could not see him-- "why have you come? Evidently, you are in no state for battle or revenge-- and I believe the battle side of you have long gone."

The battle side of you, I repeated in my head, of all things to describe Drew as.

"We no longer see you as a threat," Bermuda clarified, "however it is a fact that you see us with hostility. Despite that, you came into a disadvantageous situation of your own accord."

I gritted my teeth, and Byakuran, who sat beside me, chuckled in amusement.

"I was surprised too! but I couldn't find a reason to say no, that's why," one moment he was laughing, and the next, his gaze sharpened into one of irritation, "if you try something..."

I was trapped in my wheelchair, and Bluebell had stayed home with Sui. Byakuran alone was not a strong enough force to go against the Vindice if problems arose, and I knew that.

I was disabled and I wasn't here to be a burden, I reminded myself.

I felt the urge to fake a confident smile, but I suppressed it.

Instead, I showed full-on irritation, "you're making it harder for me to speak, Bermuda."

What would Drew do? What would Rei do?

What should I do, and how should I do it?

What did I come here for?

"You talked about this guy before, to me, or to Drew--" I started slowly, inching forward to speak seriously, "this guy that was immortal. Tried to kill himself and didn't die; You captured him-- and you put him in the Vendicare; That guy."

Jaeger nodded, clarifying with "we recall".

"If he's still here-- please, I want to meet him," I requested. 

I didn't think this far enough-- why would they allow me to see him? Allow me in? In what name would they permit it? Why did I even think of seeing him anyways, do I really need to chase my curiosity this far out?

It was meaningless to think of that now.

I wanted to see him, him. Someone, the only one left in this world that  knew was the same as me. The one that broke down before he could pick himself up. 

"I suppose there is no harm," Bermuda decided, "I could grant you a simple exception as a parting gift of your relationship with mine."

I perked up, what?

"You won't be attempting to break him out, would you?" Bermuda tilted his head in jest.

I chuckle, "if he's been cryogenic for centuries, does it matter?"

"I do have a condition, though-- you must come alone," Bermuda turned his gaze to Byakuran, "the Sky of the Gesso may not come with you."

Byakuran's mouth hung agape, "you believe I'll leave you alone with a child you literally just killed the father of?" he was exasperated, "I'm the one that approached you, I admit-- but now, he is disabled and his safety is my responsibility--"

"Byakuran," I spoke up sharply.

Taking his hand in mine, I gave him an assuring smile.

I was the one that forced him out, sneaking away in the dead of the night where nurses didn't notice, so Byakuran was in trouble as much as I was if we became hurt.

"Let me do this alone," I promised him, "I'll be alright. They can't do anything to me if I don't break the Omerta, right?"

-

Jaeger had pushed my wheelchair, and I had been blindfolded on the journey.

"It's to make sure you don't take anything back with you," Bermuda reasoned, "visuals say more than a million words can describe, after all."

I had to take it with reluctance. What he said made sense, but it only served to make me less willing to trust him in bringing me to my target. 

But I was the one that asked for the impossible, I shouldn't have the right to complain here.

The trip down was painfully quiet. Darkness and paranoia plagued me without end, I felt myself roll to varying directions and go straight in unknown distances-- I lost track of my direction, and soon I was lost in the maze of my own head, blind in the forest of ambiguity.

When Jaeger finally removed the blindfold, I was somehow exhausted.

-

The cylindrical tube was bluish. It gleamed in a neon liquid that shone turquoise in the strange light, and within it-- 

He didn't look that old. He looked about Dino's age-- but with a physique similar to Adult Lambo's. His hair was light and long, tied back into one, but flowing long to his waist. 

The tubes that aided his breathing covered the majority of him-- and that was all I could see of him.

"If I recall with precision," Bermuda considered, his hands trailing toward an ancient book at the side, records of past prisoners-- "he had referred to himself as simply Titus."

Titus, I repeated in my mind.

That's a beautiful name.

Standing up with a little effort, I leaned against the glass for support as I took a closer look at the man. The Vindice watched, but kept a distance and said nothing. They left me for privacy they were allowed to give-- and I tried to ignore them.

If he had gotten the same opportunities Drew had, he would've been a bright and cheerful soul. He would've lived to be strong, stronger, a legend. 

I wonder what he would've been. Who he was, why he died, what was he good at? What were his skills, hobbies? Was he a fighter? Would he have joined the Mafia? Which family would he have become a part of-- or perhaps, would he have started his own?

His possibilities were limitless.

Overwhelmed with a sense of camaraderie, I offered a silent prayer in consolation and in compassion for him. 

"I'll keep going on," I whispered, a throaty promise made one-sidedly, "so one day, you come out too, alright?" 

I spoke to him, thinking he could hear me, hoping he would understand me. Praying he would see me-- just so he can understand me.

A bubble rose in the cylinder-- in alarm, my attention lifted to him-- and I was stuck, frozen, as our eyes clearly met.

A beautiful shade of green that matched Drew's-- soft, gentle, and so noble-- 

Then quietly, they fluttered shut, his breath stilled-- and he was again unmoving.

It may have been just my imagination, I thought.

However, the burst of emotion that flooded through me could not be suppressed. I couldn't hold back the gratitude I felt, the warmth I felt from that one moment-- He had considered me. Recognized me. Acknowledged me.

We may be alone-- the both of us may feel like a singularity in this world-- but as long as you exist, and I exist-- we're not alone. We're never alone because we both understand what each other has gone through, and both of us can overcome it.

"I'll wait, so if you ever find yourself out... I'll be waiting, alright?" this time, my promise was a vow from my core, "so please, can you watch over me too?"

My hand on the cyrogenic glass did not receive a response, but the empty promise was the most powerful acclamation I've made thus far.

Brothers, please watch over me, Drew used to cite. 

Can you be my guardian angel, Titus?  I childishly thought to myself, chuckling slightly at how weird that would sound if I'd said it out loud.

Wiping away the tears that spilled from my eyes, I turned to the Vindice with a bashful chuckle.

"Sorry for that," it was kind of embarrassing, "thanks for letting me in, Jaeger, Bermuda, and the rest of the Vindice. Sorry to intrude on your prison."

Their expressions never did change, but I could tell from his voice that Jaeger was exasperated.

"You express gratitude to us?" he couldn't understand why I did.

I sat down on my wheelchair, giggling, "I hate you all with a passion!" I affirmed, sticking out my tongue in a childish jeer, "but it's polite to thank people that do you a favour, y'know?"

Jaeger stepped forward to take my wheelchair, handing me the blindfold-- but they were completely speechless to the previous remark. Taking the blindfold in my hand, my expressions fell slightly as I realized I'd have to go through that creepy ride back up to the surface.

"I guess it's until we meet again, Bermuda," I bid in place of a friendly farewell.

At that, Bermuda could only sigh.

"I sure hope we don't, Ninomiya Rei."