126. Resolution

Multi-coloured confetti cracked out of poppers and soared to my face. Sae and Sui, sitting beside me, gaped, appalled--

"Happy Birthday, Sae and Sui!" everyone raised their voices above tolerant levels of a hospital.

Sae and Sui cheered, "yayyy!!"

Laughing dryly, I facepalmed. Not another moment later, Nurse Fujimiya kicked the door down with warnings of throwing people out of the hospital.

Settling back down, the party began. The cold, wintry air of Christmas brimmed white as the icing on the cake. Laughter and giggles in forcefully hushed tones tasted much sweeter than the sugary goodness in the chiffon cake Kyoko baked.

It was the twins' birthday-- yet, things were so much more different than a year ago. Last year-- Dad baked a huge cake, and we had nearly the whole neighborhood over for a home Christmas Party. It was a beautiful White Christmas, freezing but breathtaking, with even fireworks to end the holy night.

This year, I enjoyed company too-- but on a much smaller, quieter scale. It did not snow, and we were indoors from the frosty outdoor cold. Inside my hospital room, we had to be quiet and calm, yet joyful giggles were prominent. 

Byakuran was having a little hot chocolate party at the side with Dera and Takeshi. Tsuna was joining in, having been offered some marshmallows for company. 

Reborn was holding some sort of Christmas game thing that included Ryohei and Ken fighting over who could eat metal faster. Chrome looked very, very worried. 

Mukuro and Hibari were engaged in a deadly game of shogi because I asked them not to engage in physical violence in the hospital room. Gamma was coerced to become the overseer of their game, poor him.

Chikusa and Kusakabe were sitting at the side, wondering why they chose to follow murderous sociopaths. Romario soon joined in. Those who could drink were stealing sips of Sake, and Dr Kunomasu was part of the idiocy. 

The girls were chatting-- about what? they drifted all over the place-- from love interests, to future plans, to life and to shopping matters and even to their worries of weight gain. The children-- Lambo, I-pin, Bluebell and Yuni were quietly eating cake, fighting over who had a bigger piece.

I myself talked with whoever spoke to me, stuck in my hospital bed and watching the world unfold before me in strangely anticlimactic peace.

I thought of Dad-- and wondered if he was watching us.

"Rei, look at this!" Sui hugged a red kitten plushie to herself, "isn't it cute?"

Sae hugged her blue kitten plushie with a wide grin, "Look, they match!"

The sight of that made me giggle. Maybe deep inside, the sight of my younger sisters growing up made me very melancholic about a lot of things. 

"Rei wasn't allowed to go out of the hospital, so he doesn't have a present prepared, right?" Takeshi said in jest, "most of us were too busy to help him buy things, too!"

I sank my head in despair, knowing this was the first time I'd ever missed out on my sisters' birthday presents, "I'm so sorry..."

A chorus of laughter rang in the room-- and I couldn't help but join in.

"Then," Sui perked up, leaning in closer to my lap, "Rei, in exchange for a present, can Sui ask a favour from you?"

"Ehh, one's not enough!" Sae sat down on the other side, "let's ask for two each!"

I was bewildered-- was I going to be ordered around all of a sudden? That's a little-- Sae and Sui shot me puppy-eyed looks, and I caved to their demands.

"As long as it's doable," I insisted. Why not? I was their older brother, i guess it wouldn't hurt to spoil them every once in a while. 

The two leaped up at the affirmation-- and ran to opposing sides of the room.

"Then, Rei!" Sui came back first, dragging Byakuran and his precious hot chocolate with her, "can I join the Gesso Famiglia?"

Sae came back hugging a tiny Yuni who was still munching on her cake, "Rei, Rei, can I join the Giglionero Family?"

I froze completely solid.

Are you sure you're gonna using your birthday wish to ask for permission on where to work in your future?

They looked at me eagerly, their future bosses in her hands. Their eyes were stern and serious-- and I could only feel pride well up in me at the sight. My eyes turned to Yuni-- who smiled at me softly; then to Byakuran, who sighed in resignation.

My sisters are all grown up now, I realized.

"Do you two have the resolve to believe in the Sky you chose to follow?" I asked cautiously.

Without hesitation, the two chorused, "Yes!"

I couldn't suppress the smile that rose to my lips. Guess that was a very unneeded question.

"Then," I lifted my head with a contented grin, "I'll leave them in your care, Byakuran, Yuni."

That seal of approval filled them with unimaginable joy, and they beamed so bright they ran to each other and hugged, jumping around in ecstatic elation.

At the sight, all of us could only laugh in adoration.

Things are changing, and soon, they'll leave the nest.

But that's perfectly fine, ain't it?

"Ah, what's your other request?" I wondered. If they purposefully asked for two requests, that meant they actually had something they wanted personally?

Sae and Sui stopped in their hyperactive running. Turning to me slowly, I came to see a sight I haven't witnessed in a long time-- the twins wore matching, mischievous, little shit-eating grins.

"Huh?"

Before I realized, Takeshi and Dera were beside me-- and with one smooth action, they hooked their arms around mine, locking me in place.

"Huh?"

Shamal, hopefully hopefully not too drunk, walked toward me and raised something that looked threateningly like a mothereffing whatthecrap is that a bloody gun--

"Huh? Wait what--"

"Don't worry, the pain only lasts one second," Shamal assured like any other doctor before a kid receives an injection they will forever regret--  

"Don't worry, it won't kill you," Dera monotonously spoke up, holding me down with surprising strength. 

Looking closer, I realized-- that's not a gun. There's a needle in the barrel and it's mostly a contraption, so-- 

"Dude that's--" I sucked in a breath, "That's a piercing gun--"

"It's disinfected, trust me, I'm a doctor," Shamal smiled with the patience of a literal angel.

"I don't trust you with needles, Shamal!" I screamed.

"Keep it down, guys, you won't want Amano to find out about this," Kunomasu warned, taking another sip of his alcohol.

"Kunomasu!!" I shrieked.

That day, a precious life was lost.

-

"Stop being all depressed already," Shamal laughed, "it's a precious request from your adorable younger sisters, y'know!"

I sobbed, "I thought once in my past life would've been the last of this burning sensation in my ears," I cried, curling into a small ball and sulking into the wall.

"What, does it really hurt that much?" Takeshi poked me in the cheek.

"Imagine getting shot in the heart but it's all your imagination," I whined, "my heart is in pain."

"Quit whining, you're weak," Dera flicked me in the forehead.

"Shut up, you breathe tobacco into your lungs!" I yelled back.

"What does that have to do with anything?!"

We growled at each other for a while, but eventually we just burst out laughing at how stupid it was. 

My first piercings were made of gold, decorated with a bright red gem. They were a little heavy on my ears, and the burning sensation that almost brought tears to my eyes lingered for just a little longer than how it came.

Sae and Sui handed me something else-- two metal, ring-shaped earrings. 

"These were the ones you got from Russo-san in the future, weren't they?" Takeshi chuckled, remembering them for me.

Holding them in my hands, I reminisced about that time-- when I lost Russo. When he died, after showing Drew the way and leading her to eventually move on. 

Reaching for a small pouch at the side of my desk, Sui picked out a red gem-- Russo's gem, another one of his mementos I kept by my side. But to my surprise, it was now attached to a string, like a necklace. Sui looped the gem around my neck, the stone laying gentle and heavy at the middle of my chest.  

"What's this?" I laughed, glamoured by the sudden wave of surprises washing over me, "is it my birthday all of a sudden?"

Sae and Sui giggled.

"Hey, Rei," Sae smiled, "Sae wants Rei to be happy too!"

Sui grinned, "Russo-san isn't around anymore, so Sui and Sae will protect Rei-chan instead!" she promised wholeheartedly, "we'll pour all our blessings and prayers into this pretty stone, so Rei will always be guarded even when we're not nearby!"

"With this, Rei won't be lonely, right?" Sae chuckled.

Overwhelmed with emotions, I was unable to configure. 

Was I touched? Grateful, embarrassed, sad? Maybe it was a pleasant mixture of them all-- but the words found themselves in tears that spilled from my heart, unending and everlasting.

I hugged them close to me, and from the bottom of my soul I felt so, so blessed.

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NINOMIYA YUUICHIROU

1969-2004

Cluttering a bouquet of white lilies in the small, porcelain vase, I caressed the grave and smiled a little sadly. Clapping twice, I closed my eyes and offered a vague prayer.

Sae and Sui leaned in beside me, smiling gently as we showed, without words, that we were doing fine and well. As the girls stood up and ran to the shop for their lunch, I eyed the smooth carving of his name on the tombstone. 

"Hey, Dad," I sat down, legs crossed, eyes down and sullen-- "I'm... kinda sorry. For yelling at you over the phone that day... and for taking so long to come and apologize."

With a chuckle, I realized how awkward that was.

"It's stupid, right? That I could only come up to you when I'm not even facing you to your face," I felt the tears coming, but I resisted them, "I couldn't even think of you that day-- I didn't even think of how you were doing, what even were you doing then. I spoke like that to you and-- you could've been in a situation that didn't let you talk well."

No matter how much I wish for it, an answer won't come.

"Up until the end... I was never a good son to you, was I?" the tear was in the corner of my eyes, "you protected me, you protected us from so much-- you even came for me when I was at my weakest... but I never, ever told you I appreciated it."

I was always scolding you for coming, as if you were a joking nuisance.

"I'm sorry," this was harder to say than I thought-- because the tears just spilled, and my hands shot up to my face in attempt to hide myself, "I'm sorry, dad. I'm sorry."

Desperate to wipe them away, I looked at the sky and fought the tear glands.

"Thank you," I whispered, "for saving Sae and Sui... for letting me be with them, not letting me be alone in this world. For giving your life for theirs; and for giving your life... for mine."

This was all so sappy it was disgusting-- but the fact was that this all happened. 

"Thank you, Dad, for giving me your life."

Once a human dies, nothing is left behind. Not their will, not their life. No matter the regret or pain they felt, time cannot be reversed and things will not be able to change.

One should always live knowing that their lives inevitably end when the time comes. 

There is no extra time given for pardon-- only memories of regret and unfulfilled remorse will continue to linger and contaminate lives.

Dawdling for lost time will only make you lose more.

Ninomiya Rei can never gain back the time he lost with his father. He can only now atone and lament-- until he seals his own wounds and moves on from that spot.

The dead would not come back to life.

As a reincarnated outcast, Rei has come to believe that the dead should not come back to life. 

Everyone has only one life, and they should live to treasure it as it is.

Because for every soul healed, there will be another lost. 

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Gently embedding the white lily in the vase, he grazes each petal lovingly, arranging them in what he thought was most beautiful.

Setting the vase in the center of the gravestone, he smiled, a little proud of his work.

His phone chimes irritably in his pocket, interrupting his peaceful time of tranquility with his father-- his smile instantly falls, and he is disgruntled by the letup.

Drying his hands in a cloth, he picks up his phone and receives the call after looking at the caller ID.

"What, Captain?" he spoke into the receiver, twirling a strand of his long brown hair between his fingers-- noting a split end, and dismissing it-- "eh, a mission? I thought I was on a break? Actually, stop shouting, you're shatterin' my eardrums."

Tucking the phone between his cheek and shoulder, his silver hoop earring clanked against the phone screen.

He reached into his pocket, finding a crinkled paper-- a letter-- and he set it down behind the vase, right by the tombstone.

"Spain? I'm in Japan right now, tell Levi to do that one!" he whined, holding the phone in his hands again, "no, taking care of the Boss is not a mission!"

He stands up, his hands reaching into the pockets of his black-and-yellow striped coat. Digging out three metal rings, he begins to slip them onto his fingers.

"Ah, geez! I'll do it, alright? Just send me the goddamn mission report!" 

Hanging up abruptly, he huffed in defeat. 

"And to think my vacation didn't even last thirty-six hours!" he complained, sulking at the gravestone before him, "can you believe that, Dad?"

It goes without saying, but the dead did not reply to him.

Chuckling softly, he placed a hand at the gravestone.

"Then, I'm off, Dad."

He turned around, and walked away.

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❝ Mother, Father, Brother, Sister
and all my friends, 
Thank you for your love.
Even though I'm so tiny,
even though I'm a coward,
you still gave me your love. ❞

- Famiglia (D-51)