Julian Hayes

Something felt off about Alorah when she left the dining room. It was like watching me hold myself back when I was wrongly framed and stop myself from escalating the situation when it was unnecessary. Based on the case, it felt like keeping it to myself was the best option, as there were numerous eyes on me, even hers.

After a few seconds, I followed Alorah because I was worried about her and didn't want her out of sight. She's... an amazing and loving person who believed in me despite not knowing me that well. It felt like I had to protect that before something corrupted it, driving that sweetness of hers away.

What I didn't expect when I came across a hallway was a figure sitting on the dark side in front of a wooden door leading to who knows where. Alorah's body folded into a fetal position, her hands covering her ears as she mumbled about something with her eyes wide open.

The only sentence that I caught that shocked me was when she said, "I don't want to live like this."

It felt like I was slowly losing her to the darkness at that moment. It was as if I didn't pull her out on time. It would be too late.

I'm doing everything I can to get through to her so I can get answers to the questions I've had since day one. Why was she crying like that? What was happening inside her head when she sat alone by the bleachers? What made her look so afraid?

"Alorah. Please," I begged, but she kept shaking her head. After I told Alorah why my eyes were always on hers, she stopped looking at me.

I would be lying if I said that didn't hurt me.

What should I do to get her to open up to me? Oh! I know. She did want to know more about me. However, I don't think I should tell her about Jeff and the group.

"Did you know that I wasn't a bad boy?" I blurted out.

I watched as Alorah lifted her head and slowly turned to face me, a bizarre look on her face. Ok? You are not off to a great start, Hayes.

"Umm... Not a great start, I suppose," I chuckled awkwardly, scratching the back of my neck before continuing, "I was a diligent student like you, full of life and ambition. It was because I followed the wrong crowd that I turned out like this, a ruined person. The only way to stay rooted was to maintain this kind of image, which is exhausting, to say the least."

I stared at the wall before me, wondering what had gone wrong with my life.

It felt exciting to wake up every day, meet my friends, hang out, and be a diligent student. But now, life becomes a pain in the ass whenever I open my eyes in the morning, dreading how I will survive the day playing this character.

"It became a cycle until I met this girl in my class. She smiled so brightly every day as she helped out her classmate. Whenever she's with her group of friends, they are everywhere. From the bleachers, the school's resting place, the library, and even sitting on the floor against the lockers in the hallway," I chuckled and heard a voice beside me. I secretly glanced and noticed that she was hiding her smile.

Success.

"Though we weren't as close as we are now, I would always watch her from afar. At first, I didn't know the reason behind it. However, one day, due to peer pressure, my hand went for the drink on my table, and I found myself inching closer and closer to her. Before I could brace myself for what would happen next, the entire classroom became silent, and I was shocked by what I did."

"Did you find the answer?" A soft voice asked, and I smiled without looking at her.

"Yeah. I knew why I was mesmerized by that girl. It was because she reminded me of my old self—maybe a brighter and better version of myself," I confessed, laying my head against the wall as I closed my eyes, reminiscing about those beautiful times.

The ache my head and body have endured for the past few weeks is magically gone. I guess the weight of my action was that bad since it chose to make me suffer the consequences until I told her the truth because she deserved it.

And I deserve to suffer for my actions.

She didn't say anything after that, and neither did I. We sat there quietly in the dark, getting comfortable with each other's presence, though I was already comfortable whenever I was around her.

"My... My parents, Amelia and Layla, didn't know about this. No one knows. It happened when I was 13 or maybe 15 and altered how I see life. Life is indeed beautiful, despite all its flaws and imperfections. Yet, all I can see is the dark side that haunts me every night because I opened the doors and invited them in without knowing the consequences," I could feel the shift in the atmosphere, and I had a wild guess that her head was in another place.

I'm sorry, but I will be selfish for once since it's about you.

"How did you cope with it?" I leaned forward, rested my head on my knees, and gazed at her.

She looked so exhausted and numb, which scared me a little. I didn't like to see someone wearing that kind of expression. It's the worst when someone can't smile so brightly, go crazy, or enjoy life.

"Honestly? I buried myself with things that could distract my mind, but I noticed that the option wasn't effective anymore. Seeing that it has affected my morning hours and made me want to detach myself from others," Alorah didn't look at me until she said the last part, and I could tell how hard it was for her to muster up a smile, even if it was a sad one.

Her emotions were affecting me. I could feel it.

"What can I do to help relieve that?" My voice cracked, but I didn't mind it. It was already too late to hide it.

Her sad smile widened, and she leaned against the wall, gazing at me quietly at that angle.

I waited for her patiently as I studied her features. It would be bold to say she was doing the same to me.

"I don't know," She blurted out, and I watched as a single tear streamed down her face.

My body moved on its own after that. As I leaned against the wall, my left hand gently guided Alorah's head to my shoulder, and we stayed in that position until she told me that she was ready to face the others.

Author note: It took 20 chapters for me to write Julian's POV, and I didn't consider doing it in the beginning 😂.

Thank you to those who are still reading this book! I'm unsure how many more chapters are left before the story ends, but I don't think it will end anytime soon.