❝I’m so afraid
In the end, will you leave me
too?❞

-the truth untold, bts

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kim.seokjin:
because i really don't like myself not even the least i claim i do

eunsuen:
jin...

kim.seokjin:
I'm sorry eunsuen

eunsuen:
why are you saying sorry

kim.seokjin:
i don't know

kim.seokjin:
for making you think i was something that I'm not

kim.seokjin:
because I'm quite pathetic

eunsuen:
jin please don't say that

kim.seokjin:
you know i always brag about myself and show confidence

kim.seokjin:
but in reality I'm so unsure about everything

kim.seokjin:
there's nothing I'm good at

eunsuen:
what are you saying

eunsuen:
you're the most amazing person I've ever seen please don't say those

kim.seokjin:
people say that but i know myself eunsuen

kim.seokjin:
i know I'm a little good looking but that's all

kim.seokjin:
i don't have any talents

kim.seokjin:
there's a hollow inside me and i always feel alone

kim.seokjin:
because there's nothing I'm just so...

kim.seokjin:
i don't have an unique voice and even though i wanted to be a singer at first soon i learned that I'm just not that talented to make it out there

kim.seokjin:
since childhood i asked myself numerous times if there was anything I'm good at but there's none haha

kim.seokjin:
I'm not even that good of a person

kim.seokjin:
everyone keeps leaving me

eunsuen:
your friends love you jin

eunsuen:
i love you

eunsuen:
and we find everything amazing about you

eunsuen:
by everything i really mean everything

kim.seokjin:
that's the thing with my friends...

kim.seokjin:
sometimes i feel like i don't even deserve to be with them

kim.seokjin:
all of them are great
has a passion for whatever they do
they have dreams and more than that they have talents to achieve em

kim.seokjin:
same goes for you too

kim.seokjin:
and I'm just so happy
so happy for all of you

kim.seokjin:
that you're there
that you're everything that i am not
that you have everything that i don't have

kim.seokjin:
and when you're gonna achieve more things I'll be the happiest i really will

kim.seokjin:
but for me

kim.seokjin:
i know I'll be here no matter how hard i try

kim.seokjin:
i don't even want to try eunsuen

kim.seokjin:
i don't have the drive anymore to think about my life choices and stuff I'm just living today and watching everything, everyone pass me by and change as i stay here

kim.seokjin:
i don't show it but I'm always tired

kim.seokjin:
tired of living

message not sent

eunsuen:
listen to me jin

eunsuen:
i know you think that you're not good enough that you think that the pretty face of yours is all you have

eunsuen:
but i certainly don't think so cause yes you're handsome but

eunsuen:
there's so much more to you

eunsuen:
so much more you don't even know

eunsuen:
is there anyone else in this world who'd be happy for their friends like you do?

eunsuen:
i don't even think there is someone who can make people laugh even on their worst days like you

eunsuen:
you're just so funny your jokes are the best but more than that the way you care for people even more than yourself is the best thing about you

eunsuen:
isn't that the best talent? because even though you're not here in my world anymore your friends can only talk about you

eunsuen:
talk about how much you cared for them, how good of a cook you were, how your dad jokes were cringy but the best, how you scolded them when they did something wrong and how much of a beautiful voice you had

eunsuen:
and without you i wouldn't even have the courage to talk to my parents

eunsuen:
so you can tell yourself that you don't have any talents but in my eyes?? in your friends eyes??

eunsuen:
you're the best person
in the world jin

kim.seokjin:
thank you eunsuen

eunsuen:
it'd be 3 am soon and i wish i could talk to you more

eunsuen:
tell you how much you're needed and appreciated

eunsuen:
the list would be unending

kim.seokjin:
i wish we could talk a lot more too

kim.seokjin:
I'm just.. i told you this today because i didn't want to lie to you anymore

kim.seokjin:
i act confident because that helps me not feel down and stuff

kim.seokjin:
i don't want to make others feel down seeing my depressed face

kim.seokjin:
but before you go can i ask something?

2:58 am

kim.seokjin:
i wanted to ask how or when did i die

kim.seokjin:
I haven't asked this before and I'm just curious that's all

2:59 am

eunsuen:
you don't need to know that jin

3:00 am

eunsuen:
because it's 3 am and you can't read this

message failed sent

eunsuen:
the jin in my world died by driving in full speed until his car crashed at the side of an empty road

message failed to sent

eunsuen:
and it happened at 9:45 in the evening on 24th may

message failed to sent

eunsuen:
it's only 12 days left to that day

message failed to sent

eunsuen:
and I've never been so scared in my life

message failed to sent

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a/n: spoiler! only 6 chapters left now :)