*tiny wittle trigger warning*

Chapter 33

Nolan

       I was laying on the couch watching a movie when my husband decided to walk into the living room and after once glance at me, he reached for the remote and turned off the TV.

       "Hey!" I said. "I was watching that."

       Jerome sat down on the couch and faced me. "I need you to talk to me."

       "Don't you hear my voice?" I asked. "I am talking to you."

       "That isn't what I meant and you know it," Jerome said. "I know you're in one of your moods, and I need you to actually talk to me about it instead of pretending you're fine."

       "What makes you think I'm in one of my moods?" I asked.

        Jerome sighed. "Because I know you better than anyone else. We've been together for five years. I know when you're in one of your moods."

       "Couples misread each other all the time. You're misreading me right now. I'm not in a mood. I'm fine."

       "I asked if you wanted to be part of the video for my channel that involved food, and you shut it down," Jerome said. "You love food and there's no way you would shut down doing a video that involved food, unless you don't want to be on camera, meaning you're in a mood."

       "You're in a mood."

       "I don't even know why I bother with you at times." Jerome stood up and handed me the remote before heading upstairs.

       I didn't even turn on the TV. I just threw the remote beside me before turning around so I was facing the back of the couch. I know I should just talk to Jerome about how I feel inside, but doing that would only make everything real. I just wanted them to go away.

       I ended up falling asleep for a bit, and I was woken up by Jerome who was gently shaking me. I turned around to see him kneeling down beside the couch. "Hey," he said softly. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you like that. I'm just....I'm scared, Nolan. I'm scared at what you might do to yourself if you keep all your emotions bottled up inside."

       "I'm not going to do anything," I said.

       "You might think that, but we have no idea what can happen to you in even a few days," Jerome said. "You mental state could get a lot worse, but I wouldn't know because you're not talking to me."

       "You're the one who's making me meet with a psychiatrist," I said. "That's not working."

       Jerome sighed. "I don't know what to do anymore."

       I frowned. "Are you giving up on me?"

       "What?" Jerome asked. "No, of course not. I love you, Nolan, and nothing will make me give up on you. I told you, I'm just scared because I don't want to lose you and...."

       "And what?" I asked. "You're afraid I'm going to try committing suicide? I'm not going to."

       "Yeah, and I never thought you would the last few times you tried," Jerome said, and then he sighed. "Sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

       I smiled softly. "It's fine. Actually, you saying that makes me feel a tiny bit better, because I see how much someone cares about me."

       "Nolan, so many people care about you," Jerome said. "Your family, your friends...."

       I snorted. "Friends? You're my only friend."

       "I'm your husband."

       "Which makes my point. I don't have friends. It's all good. I don't need friends. They only disappoint me. At least, I think they would. You're the only friend I've really had."

       Jerome sat me up before sitting down beside me on the couch. "Does it bother you?"

       "Not really, no," I said. "I'm socially anxious anyway, so it wouldn't do me any good to have too many friends. And I don't like leaving the house. And I'm lazy."

       "Beside all of that, are you really okay?" Jerome asked. "I know you said you're not in a mood, but...."

       I shrugged. "I really don't know. I don't even understand my feelings most of the time. I just don't want to be around anyone right now, except for you and Kingsley. And of course my baby Snowball."

       "What about Blizzard?" Jerome asked.

       "Blizzard bit my baby Snowball yesterday, so I'm mad at Blizzard. That's your dog now. Snowball is mine."

       "Yeah, Blizzard has always been my dog. That's why we adopted him, because Snowball never loved me."

       "Because I'm more lovable."

       Jerome just smiled at me. "Well, I can't argue with that. So, to life your mood, what do you say about pulling an all-nighter, watching movies, playing video games, possibly doing some other activities?"

       "Like board games?" I asked.

       "That's....not what I meant, and you know that."

       "Well, I'd be up to it if we order in pizza, and have a lot of junk food."

       "Ordering pizza just to have sex?"

       "Wait, that's what you meant? I thought you meant playing chess. I can't do what you want, then. I'm gay."

       "You know, sometimes I'd really like to know what goes through your brain at times. And why you always say you're gay as an argument when it makes no sense."

       "But I'm gay."

       Jerome chuckled. "As confusing as you are, I really like seeing you go from moody to weird just like that."

       "I'm always weird."

       "I'm not arguing with that."

_________________

Nolan always has the best arguments. No one can win arguments about him because he's that amazing.

Lol, it's now weird writing Nolan and Jerome in a normal setting now because of the new AU book. cx It will be weird going back and forth BUT IDC.