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Every second passed felt like I was in hell, paying for the sins that I committed.

Satan would use his extra powers to punish me - I'd have been his personal favourite to torture. He would find new ways to torment me, he would find his pleasure in my suffering.

It's been more than a week since all the mess that I created in my life. It's been more than a week since my running away from the problems in my life. It's been a week since Landon's discharge from the hospital. It's also been a week since Arthur running away that night. He never looked back, he didn't even contact me in these nine days and I'm losing my shit.

Nine days.

To ignoring my family, my friends, troubles, problems - my everything. It's been nine days since my running away from home. I've found my temporary shelter in Tania's house. She was worried about me but let me stay. I thought of asking for help from Patricia but the lady is old and I didn't want to bother her with my troubles. I've ignored school for nine days and stayed back at Tania's place. I used her laptop to fill out the forms of the colleges I'd like to apply to. The questions that they asked literally killed my soul.

Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
What is one memory that defines YOU today?
Who inspired you the most?
Blah blah and shit.

I couldn't bring myself to answer the questions. Those questions hurt my head. My fingers trembled on the keyboard and I felt numb. I'm already behind in filling the college applications and these questions weren't helping me in any manner. I felt dumb for not knowing myself.

There was this particular question that occupied my mind for three days that I couldn't think of anything else.

What do you want from life?

Peace.

I couldn't write that - the admissions committee would consider me foolish for writing that. I couldn't even write Life - which was practically my first thought.

I need a life first, to even want something from life. The life that I'm living right now isn't mine - it is made up of lies and secrets, of the betrayal and deception that my close ones have given me. My life isn't even mine - I got it as a miracle by taking away someone else's life. I don't even deserve this life in the first place.

How do I explain all of this to the admissions committee?

Finally giving up the lifestyle of being trapped in the four walls of Tania's house, I decided to attend school today. She lend me some clothes. Even being five years older than me, her clothes fit me perfectly. Tania is an angel and must surely walk for Victoria's secret. I looked at myself in the mirror and shut my eyes.

I look terrible.

Every mummy in the town must keep their kids away from the sight of me or the kids will be scarred for life. I haven't showered in three days. I don't know how Tania could let me live in her house with the smell that I carry. The smell of guilt, anger, betrayal and everything. The odour of being an emotional fool.

I was a little worried about meeting with my friends. I'm sure they know I'm staying with Tania, even Landon and Dad might know it. I didn't ask Tania to keep her silence on my whereabouts. I wasn't running away from them, I guess - I just wanted to run away from the person I was around them. Ever since I've woke up - they've shaped me with their truths and theories. I don't even know who am I beyond their imagination. The last bits of memory that I carry were of before four years and a lot must've changed in these past years. Whatever they fed me - I ate it like an obedient kid. Now when I'm left to feed myself on my own, I'm not sure what should I eat to keep myself alive.

I took a shower - not wanting to be the reason for any more casualties in town. I got ready in one of Tania's beige sweatshirts and the jeans I wore that night on the bridge. It was getting colder with every passing day and Thanksgiving was around the corner. I have no idea how am I going to celebrate the day because I cannot be lingering on Tania's shoulder forever. She must have plans with her family and I don't want to be a hurdle to her holidays. I might find a way to avoid my family on the holiday. Funny how I cannot remember the last four Thanksgiving with my family and this year - I don't want to make memories to remember in the coming future.

A lot has changed for me in these two weeks and I am not sure if I can handle any more alterations in my life.

Tania handed me a spare key if I needed to leave house when she was not around. I took it from the drawer next to the main door and walked out of the house. She had a one-bedroom apartment, so I slept on the couch. She did let me take the bed, but I decided to stick to the couch.

Taking the elevator, I left the building. A cold breeze hit my face and I shivered. My body was getting used to the warmth that Tania's house offered me. Walking into the reality of the cruel world hit me hard on the face.

I started walking towards the end of the street. Tania's apartment was a fifteen-minute walk from my home and exact eleven minutes to my school in the opposite direction. I started walking towards the school. Turquoise would fall in between my route, but maybe I should avoid going there. What if Landon is there? What if Dad is at Turquoise and he forces me to return home?

But I need coffee. So I decided to go to Turquoise. I'll just call Tania and ask her to get me my coffee while I wait outside the cafe.

Walking has become my comfort. I can't ride in cars - every time I try to block the anxiety out, it hits back. I'm still not used to riding in cars and after knowing the truth behind my accident - I think I've again developed the fear of cars. So from now on - walking is my only option and the best escape. It helps me put a lot of thought into my emotions and everything that I'm dealing with.

I arrived at Turquoise and Tania got me my coffee as I waited outside. A few people walked past me, passing me a smile. I returned the smile. There is no harm in smiling at strangers, it can always make someone's day.

"Is anybody in there?" I asked her. She nodded.

"Landon looked at me suspiciously. He knows you're here." She stated. I nodded. "He is worried about you, Alyssa."

I couldn't bring myself to taunt him. I wanted to, I know I could - I just didn't want to put anymore blame on him. I was the one who ran away, I should've been there - for him, with him. But he was right, I was indeed being a bitch to him.

"Is he all right?" I asked her.

"Still has the plaster and a band-aid on his forehead. But he said he is healing, physically." She stated. "Mentally and emotionally - nobody knows."

Her words hurt me. Not because I felt bad for myself, but because I felt like a horrible person for causing pain to my brother. When I needed him the most, he was with me - every second, not leaving my side even for a minute. Now when he needed me, I chose to ignore his suffering.

"You should check on him." She declared.

I want to, I really want to. But every time I try to take a step forward to walking back in the arms of Landon and Dad, even my friends - I get a vision that stops me. The vision shows that I'm in a dark room, suddenly a light falls on me and I'm surrounded by Landon, Dad, Karen, Brett and my friends and each one of them is laughing at me - at my stupidity of trusting them. They were making fun of me for being foolish enough to fall into their trap. That vision stops me from running back in their arms. My vision was right though - they did fool me and now it's hard to put my trust in them.

I excused myself and decided to leave the place. My eyes landed on the reception from the glass window. I could see my brother looking back at me - with no emotion on his face. I stood there for a good thirty seconds and decided to leave before I gave in. He looked tired, his shoulder leaned as the plaster's weight must've caused him a lot of trouble.

How can you be so cruel?
What do you want?
Why are you punishing your brother?
Can't you see, he is in pain?

I tried blocking all the thoughts that hurt my head. As I walked further, a sharp pain rushed in my head and I shut my eyes, holding my head as I stood still. I gritted my teeth as I tried to get a hold of the pain, but I was late. The pain already had taken a hold on my head and I could feel myself giving in. I knew I was going to lose my consciousness and pass out any second.

Before I could hit the ground and hurt myself, someone held my arm - I was in someone's arm as they held my shoulder. I opened my eyes to meet the person who I left that day in the morning.

"Are you following me?" I pulled myself away from his grip and the same pain rushed back in my head.

"I'm doing my job." He asserted. I missed his voice, I missed his face. I shouldn't have lashed out at him when he was only trying to help me.

"I thought you'd quit." I murmured, not meeting my eyes with his.

"I could've. But then I realised - Pooh never leaves his piglet."

Why was he being nice to me? Why did he have to be so sweet?

I gave in and threw my arms around his torso as I embraced him. "I missed you, Brett. I'm so sorry for being a bitch to you. I shouldn't have said all those things. I missed you so much. I felt so lost these days. I - I -"

"Shh, it's okay Alyssa. I'm here now. Always will be. You don't have to apologize." He patted my back. He knew I wanted to say a lot of things, but my crying made it hard for me. He let me weep as he rubbed my back. I didn't care if the cold was going to kill me - at least, I'd know that Brett forgave me.

"And for a record - I missed you more." He declared. I pulled him closer and could feel him smiling in the hug. I pulled back and wiped away the tears. I did miss him. I've gotten used to him being around me most of the time.

"I'm sorry Brett -"

"You know you're late for school?" He asked. "If you'll keep on saying the same thing - which I won't mind because I'd love to hear Alyssa Pearson apologising but you'll miss school today as well."

I let out a chuckle. I missed his comments.

"Are you going to be around?" I asked.

"I haven't left for even a day." He stated. I gave him a confused look. "I did follow you at the bridge, then when you were lost that night after whatever happened with Arthur. I was practically living in the parking area of Tania's apartment."

"You know you're a creep, right?"

"There is a word for that - I'm your bodyguard." He rolled his eyes.

"Possessive much?"

"Worried more." He gave me an eye. I surrendered and started walking towards the school, happy that I had Brett by my side.

"Wait a minute - you were at the bridge as well?" I stopped and asked him. He nodded. "So you heard me confessing everything to Arthur?"

He nodded his head.

"Why did he leave, Brett?" I asked him. I've been asking myself this question every day since that night. Why did he leave me there alone? I told him my truth - why couldn't he hold me in his arms and assure me that everything was going to be all right?

"He was wounded, Alyssa."

"I tried helping him, but he got away from me as if I was the one hurting him." I stated. Brett didn't say anything and asked me to keep walking.

We arrived at the school and my heart started beating at an abnormal pace. I wasn't scared of the school, I was just worried to face my friends. Even after their lying to me, them keeping secrets from me, them keeping me in the dark - something inside me accused me of not being a good friend to them. It was guilt.

The guilt of not being around for three months while they struggled with their lives. I was sleeping peacefully in a coma and they had to work hard to bring me back. My friends have always been my life - Neil and Jamie. I know the relationship that I had with Elizabeth, Skye and Zach must've been the same, it's just that I don't remember anything - but they do. It must be hurting for them to behave like they too have to forget the memories. They did a lot for me and all I did was being a bitch to them.

But what about the lie that they told you?
What about the secrets that they kept?
What about the truth!

My subconscious Allycious was the real villain here. She kept on feeding me negative thoughts towards my friends and family.

"You sure you can do this?" Brett asked me.

"It has to be someday. I can't just skip school and never return." I declared. He nodded and we walked inside the building. A few others gave me weird looks, I've been getting them for months now. Brett was extra close to me today, making sure I don't hurt myself bumping into someone or something. I walked to my locker and opened it. A note fell on the floor. Ugh, not again!

Before Brett could look at the note, I picked it up and placed it under my jeans pocket. I don't want him to know about the notes that I've been receiving.

I didn't see any of my friends in the hallway. It was strange.

"Are they all skipping school as well?" I asked Brett as we walked towards the class. I have to meet my mentor to talk about the college applications.

"I hope they don't. You were stupid enough to ditch school. But then, they are your friends." He scoffed. I hit his arm as I rolled my eyes. I wouldn't want them to miss any day of school. They all were already behind in some classes as they missed quite a few when I was hospitalized.

"No but seriously, where is everybody?" I was getting worried. What if none of them showed up at school today? I don't think I can walk through this hell-way alive alone.

"Don't you have the community service thing today?" He asked me. Shit. I forgot about it.

Skye was setting up a stall where everyone could donate old clothes or shoes that could be sent to the next town's orphanage. She was super excited about the service as she has always helped those Orphanage kids. Zach was going to set up a blood donation camp with the town's hospital. Everybody from our group decided to donate blood and help the hospital's blood bank. I was not permitted to donate as Dr. Payton stated that the medicines that I was consuming were of high dose and my blood would be of no use to anyone.

I scoffed at the thought - first my body was useless, now my blood is the same. I can in no way ever be helpful to anyone.

The whole Community Service Day was set up with aiding the less fortunate town around ours. The whole idea of the community Service Day was initiated by the soon to be Mayor of the town. He decided to seek the help of the high school kids so that the towns could connect in a better way. I assumed Elijah to be an arrogant man - but he does think about the people of the town. Maybe that is why people want him to be the next mayor.

"You promised to get some of your old clothes, right?" Brett asked me.

I scoffed. "As if I remember where they are kept." I walked towards the main hall where the stalls were set.

When we entered the hall, I was welcomed by the chaos of the high school. Everyone was either walking from one stall to another or trying to sell their ideas to people for their help. I spotted Zach's Set up with the standee of the hospital he teamed up. A few jocks were donating blood while the nurse collected them in the bag and labelled them.

"Are you going to donate?" I asked Brett. I think he should.

"Am I allowed to?" He asked me. "I mean - isn't this whole set-up for students to help?"

"You're a student's bodyguard," I stated. "You're eligible. Plus, they'll never turn down the blood of an adorable bodyguard." I winked.

He let out a chuckle. "You call me adorable just because I'm your pooh?"

"Why else would I call you that?" I gave him an eye. "If I had to judge for your looks - I'd rather call you a gorgeous hot man."

"I didn't sign up to flirt with you."

"You can always alter the contract." I gave him a sheepish smile. He ignored my flirting and walked towards the blood donation booth.

When Zach looked up from his book to greet the new person, his eyes went wide in shock. He placed the pen down and walked out of the booth and immediately took me in his arms. I wasn't taken aback, because I knew I would be greeted in this manner, especially by Zach.

"You're here." He mumbled in the hug. "I missed you, Ally. We all did." He pulled away from the hug and looked in my eyes for a good second like he was trying to comprehend a difference that could be seen in a week. "We were so worried. You ran away from the hospital and then we looked for you everywhere. You even turned off your phone. Why would you do that?" He gave me an eye. "Okay, I understand why you did that." He stated.

I wanted to say something - maybe apologise for my behaviour, but I stood still.

"Landon wasn't ready to take another pill. It was needed for his recovery. He was stubborn and decided to leave the hospital. The next day we got him discharged and left for your home. Then Tania called later that night and informed us that you were with her. Your dad was so relieved. Landon didn't want to cause any more troubles to you so he asked Tania to take care of you."

Zach explained everything as if I asked him to tell me the story after my departure. The wrinkles on his forehead made me feel guilty. As I've known from the stories - Zach was never the one to carry a frowned face but right now - he was worried. It was all because of me. I caused him trouble.

"Where were you the first night?" He asked.

"She was at my place." Brett declared. Zach passed him a dull smile. Brett stated that he wanted to donate blood and so Zach got his name registered in the book. Brett sat on the chair and the nurse checked his vitals. Brett passed me a smile from behind the desk and I could see the old Zach in him again. I passed him a weak smile and turned to look around for the other booths.

I couldn't find any other people. Neil, Skye, Beth -

Jamie.

She was talking to Danielle in the corner. From what I could make - she wasn't just talking but arguing about something while Danielle stood there, her arms crossed - unbothered of whatever Jamie tried to explain.

A girl walked to Danielle and whispered something in her ear after which a smirk appeared on Danielle's lips. She patted Jamie's shoulder to which Jamie threw away Danielle's hand from her.

Danielle still had the smirk on her lips as he walked past Jamie with the girl. Jamie walked in the other direction. Why did she not talk to me at the hospital? Why did she not ask me if I was okay? She is my best friend. She broke my trust, but she behaved like I was the one who broke her heart. She made me look like a villain in front of my brother. She isn't the Jamie who was my best friend. What did I do to deserve her silent treatment?

I looked back at Zach's booth where Brett was still donating blood and Zach was registering names as more people showed up. He looked up at me and passed another smile. I smiled back at him and walked to the next booth.

A junior set up a booth of second-hand books. She said with whatever money she collects by selling the books, she'll donate it to the Old Age Home. She also said that she knew it wasn't going to be enough - but she wanted to try to help the community.

"It is never about the money, babe. Service is all about your emotions and feelings towards your community. You're going a good job." I passed her an assuring smile.

"Are you going to buy some books?" She asked. "Add some more to your collection?"

I gave a confused look.

"Everybody in school knows what big fan you're of collecting books." She declared. "I adore your passion for books."

Connecting books?
I am a fan?
Since when?

Last I remember, I always kept my books on Aurora's shelf, because I was too young to organize a bookshelf by myself. Then I stopped reading after whatever happened with mom.

"I'm sorry - I don't carry the same passion anymore." I told her. She frowned.

"Oh, that's all right. I'm sure you'll find some new passion for yourself."

I liked how optimistic she sounded. The only passion I have nowadays is ruining my relationship with everyone. Is that even a passion? Maybe yeah, because I'm passionate to ruin my life.

I waved her a bye after buying three books. I'm not sure if I'll read them - or do I feel the same excitement as before. But she wanted to do good for the community and I helped a little by donating.

"What is the need of these books when you're not even going to remember anything in that wrecked head of yours?"

I knew exactly who enjoyed passing these comments. I faced her and was welcomed by her winged eyeliner - her signature look. Kira stood beside her as she passed me a smile. I've had a fee decent conversation with her while talking about the quiz fest.

"My wrecked head clearly remembers that I asked you not to bother yourself by passing those comments because they don't affect me." I crossed my arms against my chest and gave her a stern look. "You're only wasting your time, Danielle."

"Oh honey, I have got all the time in the world. It's not I've lost a few moments from the past - I know I'll be having a decent amount to use. I like wasting my time admiring how miserable you are." That sly grin annoyed me, but I didn't let her words take hold of my head.

"This is a glorious life." I scoffed. "I hope you never see this side of the struggle."

"Was the struggle too hard to cope up?" She asked. "You had to take a break for a whole week?"

"I thought being appointed as Student President came with many responsibilities. But I see how you take time to put your nose in my life. Quite impressive." I twitched my tongue. "Must be hard to organize your life with studies, politics and bitching?"

"Nah babe, you just happen to be my favourite subject of gossip." She winked. Ugh, this girl. "Where are your friends, by the way?" That smirk stated that she knew what happened between us yet dared to ask.

"Minding their own business, I suppose." I shrugged. With a final statement, I decided to walk away before she bored me with her stupid talks that made no sense. I must applaud Kira for keeping up with the nonsense that Danielle has to serve.

I'm glad none of my other friends has seen me yet. This way it becomes easy to walk in the school where my life always revolved around them. Everywhere I go - there is always a story about our friendship and it is devastating that I remember none.

"Hey hey, Students of Eastwood High. Welcome to the fourth Community Service Day. I feel obliged to take forward the tradition of our school in standing strong with the Town's well-being. Not only Mullinville, but the towns across as well." Danielle stood in the centre as she spoke in the mic. Everybody paused whatever they were doing and cheered and applauded for themselves, for the Day and maybe for the speaker as well.

"I'm super excited to announce that the amount that we raise today will go to the Orphanage in Hutsony. The Mayor of Hutsony is thankful to every student of Eastwood High in helping the Town to keep their Orphanage working." She stated. Everyone in the hall applauded for Hutsony and the Mayor of the Town.

She kept on saying blah blah and whatever and I'm sure everybody else was bored of her non-stop dumb talk as well. People like her should be kept away from public speaking.

"Well, by the way - this year we do have one more set-up. It wasn't until now - but I'm sure the students of our school will surely help in the booth to raise money." Now with this, she got back everyone's attention. She looked at me and had a playful grin, which I couldn't understand.

"It is called - behind your back." Danielle declared and people looked at each other, confused. "Wait - let me explain." The grin on her lips did not give me a good sign. Something was about to go down.

The same girl who whispered something in Danielle's ear while she talked to Jamie walked towards her and handed her a placard. Danielle turned the placard and everybody gasped. The whole room went dead silent in one second. Everybody was shocked.

"Honestly, I should give all the credits to the person who gave me this booth idea. Everybody, let us cheer for Jamie Adkins." She started clapping but no one else did. None wanted to be a part of whatever Danielle was planning on.

I searched for Jamie in the room and found her standing in the corner with Skye as Skye held her arm. Jamie had tears in her eyes and it hurt me to see her being humiliated in this manner by the bitch.

"Jamie darling, why don't you come up here and explain how this whole thing works?" Danielle wanted to expand the drama, she was enjoying it. Everybody turned to Jamie and she had her eyes on Danielle who was ready to embarrass her more.

"Let me explain how this whole thing works." I declared. My voice echoed in the hall and everybody now faced me, sparing Jamie of all the looks she got. Jamie and Skye looked at me shocked. Of course, they would be - I didn't show up in school for a week, I disappeared from their lives for a whole week and now here I am, picking it all up to where I left.

I walked towards Danielle and Brett rushed to stop me. I asked him to stay out of the drama. Zach begged me not to say anything that I may regret later. I wasn't going to regret anything this time. I was going to enjoy the whole thing.

I reduced any space left between me and Danielle and without wasting any more seconds, I flew my palm that landed on her cheek and the hall went into silence - yet again. Some girls gasped, guys booed - but every single person in the hall was shocked. Danielle was too. She rested her palm where I slapped her and looked at me with pure rage in her eyes.

"The next time you try to pull out a stunt against my friends- remember this slap." I warned her. Every word that escaped my mouth was a signal for her to get. I was burning in anger, my thoughts mixed up and the only thing that mattered at the moment was to save Jamie's dignity.

Yes, she hurt me - she stabbed me behind my back, but she is my best friend. I give no right to anyone to hurt her like that. Before they do, they have to face me. Despite our differences - I'm still her best friend.

"You bitch -" she was ready to launch on me with her claws but Brett stopped her.

"That was a contemptible move, Danielle." He gave her an eye. For all I know, everybody in the school is afraid to face Brett. "The stunt that you pulled out, it wasn't needed. It was none of your concern to speak in the matter. So, before you throw a punch at Alyssa, make sure you're in the safe."

She gave him a death glare before turning to me. "What do you think of yourself?" She asked me, her tone angered in every possible way. "You think you're a goody goddess who has forgiven the bitch who slept with your brother?"

I looked at Jamie who had her eyes on me and then back at Danielle. "You had no right to take pleasure from our personal lives. Whatever issue that I have with Jamie is our matter. You must be the president of this school, that does not mean you get to talk shit about someone's personal life. You pulled out this stunt for your fun, for your entertainment. But let me remind you, Danielle, I asked you to stay the fuck out my life."

She scoffed. "You don't lecture me about all of this when deep down you wanted to humiliate Jamie in the same manner. Don't you, Alyssa?" She gave me a warned look.

"I'm not you, Danielle. I don't breathe to ruin people's lives. Especially not my best friend. Jamie is my best friend and whether or not she slept with my brother is none of your concern." I gripped my teeth.

She rolled her eyes at me, clearly finding ways to get back to me for slapping her in front of the whole school. I took a step back from her and turned, facing everyone who had their eyes on me as they waited for my next move. I walked past them and stood in front of Jamie. Without wasting another second, I grabbed her arm and dragged her out of the hall, away from everyone. Skye rushed after us and also, Brett and Zach.

I let her go once we were at a good distance from the hall. We were in the open and some people watched us as they passed by.

Her tear-stained face stood right in front of me. The first thing she did was embrace in her arms as she cried. I let her. I placed my hand on her back as I tried calming her. After a good minute, she pulled back and wiped away her tears.

"Thank you, Alyssa. Thank you for standing up for me." She declared. I heard her voice after more than two weeks and it felt like years. I missed her voice.

"If you have the balls to take actions with my brother, you must have the same to stand up against the world's reactions." I wasn't done with her. Sure I missed her, but whatever she did couldn't be forgotten that easily. Whatever happened has led us to this mess.

"I'm sorry about whatever happened between us, Alyssa. I really am. I didn't want you to find out about me and Landon in that matter. We never wanted you to get hurt. We knew what we were getting into, but it was undeniable. The feelings I had for Landon, I couldn't forever discard them just because of some rule that I made. I know I should've been loyal to you, to my words - but I liked Landon, a lot."

I shut my eyes as she spoke. Hearing the truth from her mouth brought back the anger of that day, the confusion of all the days and the guilt that I carried after that.

"Believe me, Alyssa. I tried ignoring the feelings. I tried so hard to let them go, explaining to myself that Landon is your brother. But I couldn't. He and I were going through a rough time and we both needed a shoulder to cry on. I found my escape in him."

Landon was going through a rough time?
Why did he not come to me and talk?
We shared everything - every feeling, each emotion. So why did he keep me in dark?

"Enough Jamie." I opened my eyes and snapped. She was taken aback. "Enough. I don't want any explanation."

She opened her mouth to speak but I stopped her.

"I don't know what you and Landon were going through, but I hope you found peace in each other's arms. I have nothing against your relationship with him. You're my best friend Jamie, I show how hoped for you to like my brother. But before getting into anything - you could've at least told me. You both hid the truth from me. You both carried on your relationship behind my back. You kept me in the dark. Both of you came up with your rules and you broke them. I was never allowed to break any rule, so why was there an exemption for you?" I asked her. A tear rolled down my cheek.

"Can you please forgive her, Alyssa?" Skye asked.

"I'm hurt Skye. I feel betrayed. But the guilt of leaving Landon alone in the hospital room is more than the anger I have for finding him alone with my best friend in his room. He was in pain, he got in all the trouble because of me. And what did I do? I ran away. I left him alone to suffer. This guilt - it -"

I tried speaking but words choked me. I wanted Jamie to know that Landon means the world to me and with the stunt that she pulled out, she made me doubt if I meant the same to Landon. She made me question my relationship with my brother.

Brett rubbed my arm as he stood beside me.

"I don't know if I can forgive you right away, I need some time. But I want to let you know that I don't hate you. Landon called me a bitch for hurting your feelings - I don't want to be a bitch, not in his eyes."

With that, I let out a cry and Brett held me tighter. The most hurtful words were when Landon failed to understand me and instead called me out for being the bad person in all of that.

"He loves you more than anyone in this world, Alyssa. You know that. You are his world. You're his baby sister." Jamie tried explaining. She walked to me and took my hand in her hand. "Whatever happens between me and Landon, I promise - I'll never let our relationship ruin the bond that you have with him. You'll always be his first love. I'm sorry for making you feel all of that. I'm really sorry. You mean the world to me as well, Ally. You're my best friend. I know I hurt you in the worst way possible, but I hope I could make things right between us."

She looked into my eyes and I knew she wasn't lying about anything.

"I miss you, Ally." She mumbled. I didn't say the words in return but I took her in my arms, I hugged her. She gave in and cried. "I'm so sorry for everything. I wish I could turn back the time and make things right. I love you, Alyssa."

I pulled back from the hug and Skye rushed to hug me. "It was I who missed you the most." She declared. I smiled in the hug.

I decided to leave school and return home as I had a headache. They understood and stayed back as they still had to be a part of the Service Day. I told Jamie I may talk to her in the night. But first, I must return home and make things right with my family. I know I have all the right to be mad, they hid the truth from me, the truth that changes everything for me. But I must also try and understand their part of the truth. Why would my family and friends hide such a big thing from me? There must be a reason behind it.

I may be wrong in going back, I may be making a mistake, but I must trust them with their words, because right now - their words is all I have to believe in.

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Hi guys, I'm back.
I hope you guys had good days behind.

So, while writing this, I thought I was rushing into things -but it was high time that Alyssa took a hold of her emotions. She felt all of them - confusion, anger, betrayal, guilt. But her family and friends are her everything.

She still doubts her thoughts and it will take time for her to trust them again, but let's just hope things get better from here on.

Also, who missed Arthur?
Poor boy is resting, because he is exhausted - physically and mentally.

Stay safe people.
Stay tuned for the next drama.
💙