The only thing I loved in this world as much as Jaden and my my playroom is songwriting. Everyday, I took out my notebook and scribbled in my messy handwriting the work of art. I'm also quite a good singer actually. I love music in all it's forms, escpecially making your own music. I sometimes used my toys as instruments. But to me, the most important part of a song is the lyrics.

 When writing a song, lyrics are obviously the fundamentals. It has to come from the heart, to actually have meaning. Every word of every song take the listener to their own world, where they and the music have become one. It can take years to perfect your craft, but you have, there is nothing standing in your way. In fact, Jaden actually inspired me to start songwriting. When he waltzed into my life, I started writing cheesy love songs, but after my severe rejection five years ago, I wrote sad, depressing songs.

 I shuddered. I guess since I've never felt real emotions before, when Jaden arrived, I just couldn't control them. I'd have some very dangerous mood swings. One minute I could be the happiest person alive, but then I'd be so consumed by depression I'd destroy all my toys and end up with lots of bruises.

 I've never actually played a real instrument before. Raul insisted I get my work published, but everyone would probably to foolish to appreciate or understand it.

Other than Jaden, nothing truly inspired me. Raul has explained the change from a child to teenager, but to be honest, I don't feel any different than when I still young. I guess I just have the mentality of a little kid. I remembered when couples visited the orphanage, in hope of fostering their new child. Most of them weren't aware of my existence, but on the rare occasion when they did enter my playroom, after one look at my long flowing silver hair and angelic face with grey eyes and an invisible halo on top, playing with some choo choo trains, they instantly wanted to adopt me. But I declined all offers. I had noticed that two years ago, Raul sent in more people more often. I guess they just want to get rid of me. Besides, I'd probably kill them and they'd take me to a mental asylum or something.

I knew that in reality, I was a burden to them. Raul never actually admitted feeling that way, although after one look into his shame filled eyes, a look that stayed on his face when he visited me, I knew that it was true. Since I never left my playroom, I never actually saw him happy. I always wondered if everyone else had a constant look of shame on their faces, like Raul does. OK, maybe I wasn't being one hundred percent true there. I did leave my playroom once or twice. At night, where no-one would see me. I would take knives from the kitchen, my favourite instrument of torture.

I always kept three knives hidden in my clothing just in case.

You see, the fourth thing I love in this world are weapons. Devices used for pain and murder. The act of inflicting pain is also like art. They're are many different variaties, and in the end, you're left with a beautiful masterpiece. Although it requires talent. Many people are scared to commit murder, but they are all stupid-heads. Really it's a way to single out the weak, and there are many bad people in the world. Raul has told me that outside not everything is perfect. People steal, cheat and lie, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. I do none of those things. I believe that if the whole world was like this playroom, then the world would be small, simple, yet perfect. My playroom and the outside world are polar opposites, in the outside world there is corruption, crime, theft and money problems. It is also shared by thousands of different people. My playroom never has to face these problems, and this world is mine and mine alone.

Hey, can I play with the toy battlefield? a voice asked in my head.

''Fine'' I replied back to the voice.

 Ever since I have stayed in this playroom, I had no choice but to play with myself. So I had no choice but to play with myself. I made up a couple of imaginary friends, John died after being stabbed, Luis died from a heart attack, and Henry commited suicide. Nikaden, as I called him, was my only imaginary friend left. He lived inside my head and sometimes took over my body. Just then I realized he was controlling my hand and slapped me.

''What was that for?'' I shouted at my darker half inside me while pouting slightly.

Sorry, I was just getting bored. Don't you want to have a go on the drums again or something? I've been waiting for hours! Nikaden whined in an attempt to get me to play with him. Despite being in the same body we were both very different. I was very patient, while Nikaden is just wild and dangerous and so impatient that he can't just stay still for five seconds without moaning. He also likes sweet food. I honestly prefer bitter foods to sweet foods, while Nikaden gets withdrawal symptoms every next hour.

C'mon Paich! Can't we at least sneak into the kitchen or something, I'm starving! Nikaden groaned.

''We just ate an hour ago, you'll live until then.'' I stated firmly.

 Nikaden's groan was priceless. We usually get along quite well, and we still both share a craving for murder, and we both love toys and knives. Raul has never noticed them, because I kept them hidden. As I was playing with my army the door suddenly  opened.

 A partly bald, elderly man was facing me. He had dark shame filled eyes, his eyebrows thick and white, he had lots of wrinkles and was very tall. We were both quite distant towards each other, especially when my condition suddenly became more treatable, only to get ever worse soon after. I never called him by his name, so I just called him 'Old Man', since one day when I first met him a red-headed kid called him that after he confiscated his toys. 'Hello.' he said grimly, but cautious, as if he didn't want to invade my privacy, but he was just by being here.

 I didn't respond, he was used to this, so he just kept on talking. ''I want you to come with me.'' he asked, with a tone of seriousness, with no usual warmth in his voice. I couldn't help but gawk at him. He never, ever, asked me to actually leave before. I wasn't exactly sure what to do.

''Uhh...sure...'' I mumbled pathetically, not knowing what else to say. I walked down the  hallways, adjusting to my slightly familiar surroundings. Just then he lead my to a big door, that Raul opened. Inside there was a bookshelf, a desk with some paperwork on it, a telephone and two chairs by the desk. On one of them sat a slouching boy with shaggy brown hair. I think he was crying, because there were tearmarks on the chair, and he was sniffling. It was Jaden Solomon. The one person I'd never thought I'd see again.

''Sit down please.'' Raul instructed. And I did what I was told. I refused to look at Jaden, but I could just imagine his hurt filled diamond-like eyes filled with turmoil, a pain that only I could stop. I could be his medicine, his cure, his one true saviour, and thanks to me I could make him feel better, and we would be to together, forever. I then snapped out of it.

''Listen to me Paich, you can't stay in your playroom forever. You're eighteen years old, you're too old to stay here. I would try and find someone to adopt you, but because of your-..." He stopped there. I guess he wanted to say something that wouldn't make me go all upset or crazy. ''Condition, it's not really very easy. I'm afraid you will have to leave.''

''I have no where to go,'' I replied scathingly. Jaden didn't acknolwege my existence, he was caught up in his own little world, crying, tears flooding through his face like a leaking dam.

Raul just sighed. ''I know you have nowhere to go. But, Paich, I've tried, I've tried...'' Raul looked as if he was on the verge of tears, his face changed into a sad expression. ''I've tried to help you, but everyone in the end just gave up, your outburst of emotions got worse, and you almost killed someone a year ago.'' Raul wimpered, his hands trembling. ''But...now, there's nothing more we can do.''

Of all the things I was expecting, it was certainly not this. I've never thought about what I'd do when I turned into a grown-up. Besides, why would I leave anyway? Here I have everything I could ever want. The very idea was just out of the question.

HA! He's got you on the ropes now hasn't he? Nikaden joked while laughing wildly, as if he found this amusing. Jaden was still crying, and I wanted to hold him, so badly, but I just, well, couldn't really. I wanted to know why he was in pain, only then could I help him.

 ''Shut up.'' I retorted internally.

"'I've tried to enroll you in a public school, but since you've refused all offers, there is not much else I can do. I've already arranged all the paperwork, and sorted out your room and everything. All the preparations have been made for the both of you.'' Raul continued, sweat dripping down his wrinkly forehead, his face filled with sheer regret and sadness.

What is that old man on about? Nikaden wondered. He had finally stopped his infernal laughing. Jaden was trying to resist breaking down into tears.

''It has been decided. You and Jaden Solomon will both be sent to Angel Falls mental institution.''

Jaden suddenly broke down, bawling his eyes out.