P L A Y L I S T

Grip - Bastille

Zari slept longer than she intended, but that little pill they gave her each night took away any chance of rising early. The nurse had helped her shower and wash her hair, then Zari gathered all her things, pulled out the least depressing ensemble her sister in law had packed. Gray and black sweats with a small white logo over her heart. With only one working hand, she'd had to call an aide to help her dress. This was going home day, and she couldn't wait to get out of this place. The doctors and nurses were all super nice, but she figured once she spent more time with Gabriel, her memory would come back. It was already happening. First the pudding, then the songwriting. Only a matter of time until she remembered everything. Then she'd solve the mystery of why she'd come to Parkers Prairie.

She got the feeling the subject made Gabriel uncomfortable, well actually all the questions she asked caused his face to scrunch in a weird way. Maybe it was because their relationship wasn't as serious as she thought. Or, that she was more serious than he. The reason didn't matter. She loved him and wouldn't pressure him. Might not remember her life, but she remembered some people didn't like to talk about feelings.

The thing she feared most was they'd broken up, and she'd come here to win him back. He admitted her visit was unexpected and by the way he stiffened every time she touched him or tried to talk about their relationship, something wasn't right. On the other hand, he must still care for her because he'd visited every day and agreed to let her stay with him. Well, if there was trouble between them, this was her chance to remedy the situation—and she intended to do just that.

But, it could be something else. Maybe her family didn't like him. There was definitely tension between Gabriel and Owen. She'd seen it in the sharp glances they exchanged. It could be the Davis-Kline-Filgard Clan thought they were too good to bring a blue-collar worker into the fold of rich criminal lawyers and prestigious doctors.

Funny, she should be thinking her godfather or her family but she couldn't when she had no recollection of her life with them. The attention they gave her seemed genuine, but she felt nothing but gratitude—and guilt, currently number one on her emotion chart. As if losing her memory was intentional.

The thought stopped her. She moved to the window and stared out at dark low hanging clouds. Tree branches danced in the wind. The dismal scene matched her mood.

A chill ran up her spine. What if her life had been so awful, she'd blacked out everything? From all she'd been told, even though she scored high on her SAT, she worked as a receptionist in the family law firm. That was way down on the success list from her family's accomplishments.

Was she not motivated? Had she been drifting along in life letting the family take care of her? She slumped down onto the bed and hung her head. Compared to them, clearly, she was an underachiever. Gabriel probably had dumped her. Why not? Other than notebooks of stupid songs, she had nothing to offer him.

Her eyes burned as tears tracked down her face.

*

As Gabriel made his way into the hospital, there was a bounce in his step. He'd spent too much time worrying about Zari and how he'd handle things. Hell, they were supposed to be in a relationship, so if he didn't want to talk about something, or more precisely, lie, he'd just tell her so. That's what couples did. Sure, they needed to keep the lines of communication open, but since she didn't have any memory, he could take the lead in choosing the subjects.

This new resolve lifted his spirit. Besides, hell, he could do anything for fourteen days, possibly even fight off Bennett. The thought made him shiver. Well, that might be taking it too far. But he'd tolerated much more serious problems than dealing with an amnesia patient.

When he reached the doorway to her room, she sat on the bed—sobbing silently, trying to muffle the sound with her arm. As if she were trying to keep it all in with quiet gasps where she couldn't quite keep it in. Fuck. His previous pep talk went out the window. This would be hard.

He rushed to sit next to her and slid his arm around her shoulder, kneading the flesh where shoulder met neck. "Hey, what's wrong?"

She looked up at him, tears streaming down her cheeks in rapid succession. Her bottom lip quivered, and he pulled her into a tight hug.

She could feel his warm breath tousling her hair as he murmured, "Come on now, don't cry. Whatever it is, we can fix it."

She buried her face in his neck. "I don't think so. I'm a loser with a Puritan wardrobe."

Gabriel couldn't help but chuckle. He rubbed his hand up and down her back. "No, you're not. You're just depressed. The doctors said you might be. Your situation is enough to make anybody sad, but it's temporary."

She pushed away and gazed at him again. "What if it isn't? What if I never get my memory back? What if I really am a loser and picked out all these horrible clothes?"

He wiped her tears with his thumb. "I believe you will recover your memory, but if you don't, we'll make new ones. You can buy different clothes, and you're not a loser. I know that to be a fact. So, dry your tears." He hesitated a second before plowing on. "It breaks my heart to see you cry, and you don't want to break my heart, do you?" Ugh, all this emotional manipulation was doing his head in, even if it was true. All of these lies were going to soon boil over the surface, and everyone was going to suffer the consequences, Zari most of all.

She sighed and pressed her lips to his.

He threaded his fingers through her hair and deepened the kiss. She brought both of her hands to his chest, slowly dragging her nails down his abdomen. He muffled a groan in reply, digging his fingers into her hips in retaliation, moan getting lost in his lips.

Zari surged forward, changing the pace as she fisted both of her hands into his shaggy locks and locked their bodies as close as she could allow.

Then, realizing what he'd done, he pulled back, gasping, and stumbled backwards. His voice sounded wrecked even to his own ears. "Is all the paperwork done for your discharge?"

She nodded, refusing to meet his eyes. Damnit, he fucked up, but he didn't know any other way to deal with the situation. It was only a matter of time before her memory came back and she realized how wrong this was, how wrong he was.

Maybe she'd realize all the times he didn't take advantage and forgive him.

"Okay, let's get out of here. You're going to need a jacket because it's cold outside."

All the way to the truck Gabriel wanted to kick himself. For a brief moment, he'd let his guard down, and he couldn't afford to do that. Although he'd made decisions about dealing with her memory loss, he needed to remember she belonged to another man, albeit one who didn't deserve her; any affection she showed toward Gabriel was meant for her real boyfriend.

As they drove down Main Street, she turned her head from left to right taking in both sides of the street. He figured she was looking for a place to shop for new clothes, or trying to remember a town she didn't know.

"None of this looks familiar," she said.

"Without much to offer, this place is easy to forget."

"I'd think just the opposite. In a big city, everything just blends together."

Gabriel turned onto the county road that led to his house, and the landscape gave way to tall trees, chickweed, henbit, and Johnson grass. Sweet gums with gold and orange leaves stood in stark contrast to pine and cedar. When Gabriel paid attention to his surroundings, it was if he was experiencing them for the first time. The beauty of autumn in Texas always surprised him. He had moderate winters to thank for that. Even though it was autumn, the mild weather still persisted. Today the wind chill contradicted that, but it would be short-lived.

Wheeling into the drive, Gabriel got out and went around to Zari's side and opened her door. She sat there a minute as if taking the place in. He wondered what she saw – the way it looked as if someone nudged the house with a wrecking ball. The second story appeared to hang off the first, and he thought if one good hurricane swept through, it might eventually slide right off. The chipped robin's egg desperately required a good paint job, or even a mediocre one.

To him, it looked loved, though, with the cheap white Christmas lights wrapped around the banister and potted succulents in the window.

He inwardly cringed though, watching her face.

"I like your house, but it's not anything like I imagined," she said after a moment.

"Really?" He raised his eyebrows. It was no secret Zari had come from a well-to-do family. She probably lived in an expensive apartment or a mansion.  "Let me guess. You figured I lived in a broken-down trailer park?" He had, for a few years of his youth, before Hurricane Katrina had left a tree in the living room.

"Why would you say that? There's nothing wrong with living in a mobile home. My best friend in junior high lived in one." Zari's hand flew to her chest, and she gasped. "Oh!" Then she tapped her forehead. "What was her name? It was—uh—wait, it'll come to me. It's right on the tip of my tongue. Hallie. No. Hayley. It's Hayley! Hayley Kemper! I remember her!" Zari threw her arms around Gabriel's neck. He hauled her off the seat and against his chest, shivering at the feel of her breath tickling his ear.

"That's great, Zari." The feel of her in his arms, he willed himself to a statue.

"Her brother was named Sam, and she had a dog named Whiskers." Zari planted kisses all over Gabriel's face. "I knew this would happen as soon as I spent more time with you."

He released her and stepped out of the truck. "I didn't have anything to do with it."

"Yes, you did. The only time I feel normal is when we're together."

Gabriel didn't argue because her joyful expression looked a lot better on her than the gloom and doom from earlier. "Let's get in the house. It's cold out here."

He grabbed her bags and headed to the porch with her right behind him. Once inside, she turned in a circle until her eyes settled on the fishbowl. "You have a fish?" She leaned in close for a better view.

"Yeah, that's Alpheus."

She jerked upright and giggled. "Alpheus? That's funny. He doesn't look like an Alpheus."

He didn't feel inclined to tell her Alf was named after the Greek river god of Arcadia. Silbie had never let that nerdiness fly despite the fact it'd been her fish won at the festival, and he wasn't going to give Zari the ammunition. "Oh yeah? What do you think his name should be?" He wasn't altogether sure Alf was a he, but he didn't care enough to google fish anatomy and subject him to a proverbial strip search.

She pursed her lips, staring at Alf and contemplating. "I don't know. Maybe Fish Sticks, or Puff Daddy. Or Bob." She scanned the room again. "You don't have much furniture, but you have a piano. Do you play?"

He shrugged. He had bought it off a seventy year old with arthritis at a yard sale for twenty bucks, and could barely play Yankee Doodle. "No. But you do, so go try it out."

Yesterday, Gabriel had taken the time to move all the unpacked boxes into the spare bedroom. He really did need to unpack, but now that he had a house guest, it gave him another reason to procrastinate.

Zari slid onto the bench and ran the fingers of her free hand over the keys, and stared at them as if deciding what to do next. She struck a chord on one end, worked her way to the other, and then repeated a pattern of notes. Glancing back at Gabriel, she smiled. "That's the left-hand part of All About That Bass. I'm so glad I still remember how to play."

The amazement in her eyes made him want to hug her. Thankfully someone knocked before he had time to give into the urge. Saved by the bell.

Elena pushed open the door and stepped inside and eyed them both, arms crossed over her heavily pregnant belly. There was even  car grease on the inside of her elbow, but he wasn't surprised. Being nearly eight months pregnant wasn't going to slow Elena Morales down.

Gabriel cleared his throat and prayed she couldn't read his mind because his impulse had shot past an embrace in a flash. "Come in. Now that you're here, I need to head back to work." He faced Zari. "This is Elena, she's family."

The two of them seemed to size each other up for a lengthy second, before Elena stuck out her hand and Zari grinned as she accepted it.

No idea what that was about, but he didn't have time to ponder whether they'd end up best friends or at each other's throat.

"I'll see you later."

She rose from the bench and rushed to him, throwing her arm around his waist. "What time will you be home?"

"After seven. I'll bring a pizza."

"Okay." She stepped back and looked at Elena. "I'm sorry Gabriel's making you do this. I really will be okay by myself."

Elena shrugged, eying the two of them. He'd no doubt hear about it later. Elena would tell Silbie, who in return would tell everyone. "It's no bother. If you feel up to it, I thought I'd give you the grand tour of the town."

"Yeah, I saw some neat shops on the way home. Sounds like fun."

Gabriel opened a small box on the counter and took out a key and handed it to Zari. "This unlocks the front and back door. Y'all have fun." He made his exit, closed the door behind him, but stopped to listen for a moment. Eavesdropping was becoming a bad habit.

"Now that's he's gone," Zari said. "Tell me everything about him. About us."

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Oh, Lord. Another one of the women in Gabriel's life has come out. Wonder if they'll team up against him ;P

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