P L A Y L I S T
I Want You Anyway - Jon McLaughlin

WARNING: Mature Themes Ahead

He took over, eased into her, and made himself at home. Her fingers dug into his hips, forcing him deeper. For the last month, he'd fantasized about this, but no amount of imagination came close to reality. Silky wet, hot, and giving. So damn giving. She moved with him in perfect sync. No holding back. Her body melded to his like she'd been made for him.

The way she gripped him had him fighting to keep control. With each thrust, she tightened her muscles around him bringing him closer to the edge. He didn't want it to end. Hell, he wanted to stay inside her forever.

Then her body tensed and he knew she was almost there. "Open your eyes and look at me." He needed that. Needed for her to see it was him giving her pleasure and not some figment of her amnesia. Maybe she didn't remember the guy in Dallas, but Gabriel didn't want to take any chances.

He stretched out long and lean, pushed high into her, and her cheeks flushed as she met his gaze. Eyes dark with desire, she puffed quick, shallow breaths. Caught her bottom lip between her teeth, and came undone.

Gabriel couldn't fight it anymore. Her soft whisper of his name caused him to let go. Pleasure drained from him. And when he was empty, still struggling to breathe, he rolled off her and tried to gather his wits. There at the end, pounding into her, everything had faded away. Everything but her, and how she felt under him. Around him.

"Wow," she said, calm and collected. "Has it always been this good between us?"

"Always." Not a lie. But withholding the truth, made it come close. Deceit stabbed his gut. He should tell her. And he would. But not now. Not tonight when his life was perfect.

"I don't know how I could forget such great sex. You are—amazing."

He rolled up on an elbow. "I just need to know one thing. Did I give you asthma?" Then he laughed.

She turned to face him. "You've been saving that, haven't you?"

He grinned and nipped at her jaw. "Yep."

She shoved him to his back, straddled him, and pinned his hands above his head. "Asthma doesn't begin to describe what you do to me."

"Good to know since I've been out of practice." Oh, shit. That was the wrong thing to say. His brain scrambled.

"What do you mean, out of practice?" Zari quirked an eyebrow.

"Until tonight, it'd been awhile."

She nodded. "Oh yeah. The no-sex rule."

He sighed. Dodged another bullet.

"About that. You're different."

"How?"

"Since I got out of the hospital, you've been distant. Brooding. But that's changed. Maybe it was the trip to New Jersey. I don't know, but something happened."

"Brooding? Really?"

"Maybe that's the wrong word. You've been so serious. But tonight, your mood is different."

"Babe, I got laid. Twice. If that won't lift my spirits, nothing will."

She released his hands, slid her palms to his shoulders and rested her head on his chest. "I have a lot to tell you about my new job."

He stroked his fingers down her spine and up again. "I want to hear all of it, but can it wait until morning? I'm exhausted."

"Yeah, it can wait." She slid off his body.

He turned to his side and tugged on her hip till she rolled toward him. His arm found its place under her shoulder and her cheek found the nook at his collar bone. He kissed the top of her head and hugged her close. A minute later, his breath was long, and his chest rose and fell in a slow rhythm. 

The next morning, Gabriel woke with a start and found Zari sitting cross-legged, staring at him.

"Who's Rosie? Someone you met in New Jersey? Did you sleep with her?"

He slid a thumb and forefinger from the corner of his eyes, ending with a pinch to his nose, trying to clear the fog from his head. "What?"

Zari swallowed hard, and her lip quivered. "Please don't lie. If there's someone else, just say so."

"I'd never do that. How do you know about Rosie?"

"You said her name in your sleep."

He reached out to her, but she leaned away. "Come here, please." He held out his arms again.

"No. Not until you tell me."

Gabriel hated rehashing the story. He'd been doing that a lot lately. But Zari deserved to know, and he didn't want his former girlfriend, anyone, or anything to stand between them. The part he'd been playing was already enough. "She was my high school sweetheart. I saw her dad last night at the bar. I don't remember dreaming about her, but I guess he put her in my subconscious somehow."

"Do you still have feelings for her?"

"No. She died a few years ago, but I'd stopped loving her before that. Long story."

"I'd like to hear it."

"Okay." He pushed himself up, propped his pillow behind his back and began. When he finished, Zari wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry—for everything. Your heartache—and jumping to conclusions. It's just..."

A tear dropped onto his skin. He pushed her away, cupped her chin and lifted it until he could see those beautiful eyes. "What?"

"I'm afraid—all the time. Scared I won't remember my past completely. Terrified I will, and there'll be something I wanted to erase. Maybe I did something terrible, and to forget, I blocked everything."

"No way. You're one of the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful people I've ever known. Besides, your memory is coming back, and so far, it's all been good." As much as he wanted to encourage her, once she remembered, it would be the end of him.

"Which makes no sense. I should have some bad mixed in, and I don't."

"Well, you have the songs. They let you know you've had plenty of crappy stuff in your life. So, I wouldn't worry."

She sniffed, wiped at her eyes. "And then there's you."

His lungs constricted. Oh, God. Had he said something else in his sleep? Did she know it had started as a sham? Maybe she'd pieced it together. The mess up with the condom last night was a mistake, but he really thought he'd covered the blunder. "What about me?"

"I worry I'll lose you."

Safe for the time being, relief washed over him. "The only way you'll ever lose me is for you to end it. Look at me."

She gazed up into his eyes.

"I love you, Zari. With every cliché ever written. To the moon and back. Until the end of time. Till the seas run dry, and the sun stops shining. Every ridiculous cheesy line."

Her eyes widened and her mouth opened as if she wanted to speak, but nothing came out. First time he'd ever seen her at a loss for words. "Did you hear me?"

She nodded.

"Are you okay?"

Another nod.

"Then say something."

She closed her mouth, and a funny squeak came from deep in her throat.

"Zari. You're scaring me. What's wrong?"

Placing a hand on her chest, she took a breath. "You love me."

"Yeah." He frowned. "You're acting like it's a big surprise."

"It's the first time you've said it. I mean, I've said it to you a lot, but you've never said it back."

Guilty as charged because at first, he couldn't believe it. But he didn't want to go back to a life without her. And if he had a chance in hell she'd forgive him, then he needed for her to understand what started as a lie had turned into the real thing. "Well, today, that changes. Now, I need a shower." He raised his brows. "I think you should join me."

She grinned. "Okay. I can tell you all about my job."

"Hmm. Really didn't plan on doing much talking. You know, water noise and all makes it hard to hear."

She glanced down at the tented sheet. "I think you have something hard, all right."

He pulled her in for another kiss then smiled. "You're right. But first, then I want to hear all about it."

*

As Zari dried her hair, she was downright giddy with equal measures of desire and satisfaction. She wasn't sure about her previous life, but one thing was for sure, she loved shower sex. Who was she kidding? She loved sex with Gabriel regardless of the location.

How could she forget anything about him? Those rough hands roaming over her body. Hot lips licking and sucking places that drove her insane. Strong hips and thighs powering him deep inside her.

She flipped the temperature switch from hot to warm, then waved the blow-dryer in front of her. Forget the hair, she needed to cool down before she dragged him back for another round.

As if he'd read her mind, he appeared in the doorway. "Mom called and wanted to know if you'd still have time to help her with the pie contest next week? You know, now that you're a star."

She turned the dryer off and eyed him in the mirror. "You're being funny, right?"

"No. It's a fact. The crowd last night proves it. You're already getting groupies."

She spun around and faced him. "Jealous?"

"Nope. Not as long as I'm the only one giving you asthma."

She snorted and smacked him with the end of her towel.

He wrapped his arms around her, pulled her close and kissed her. "What do you want to do today?"

"Go see your new nephew. I haven't gotten to hold him yet. Then we can swing by your mom's, and I'll get the contest schedule."

An hour later, Zari held Charlie and inhaled his scent. Nothing smelled or felt better than a baby. The mixture of powder, lotion, and the top of his sweet head pressed against her cheek caused her ovaries to scramble for attention. Bad ovaries.

She shook her head to clear it and glanced at Gabriel. "You want to hold him?"

"I want to teach him to read, but it'll be awhile before that happens." Gabriel reached for the baby and took him. As if second nature, he cradled him, leaned down to kiss his forehead, then looked at Elena. "You look good. Not like you just gave birth."

"Thank you, Gabe. I needed that. I feel okay. Just a little tired, but your mom's been here for the last couple of days to help out, so that's good."

Zari couldn't take her eyes off Gabriel. He looked so relaxed holding the baby. Just as she'd thought, he'd be a great dad. Someday.

Covered in chalk dust, Lina burst into the room. "Uncle Gabe, Zari, come see what I drawed!"

Gabriel handed the baby back to Elena, then he and Zari followed his niece out the front door to the sidewalk. There in big letters, she'd written Charlie and surrounded it with flowers and leaves.

"That's beautiful," Zari said.

Gabriel put his arm around the little artist. "You did a great job. And you even know how to spell your brother's name already."

A sharp pain pierced Zari's temple. She massaged it with her fingers then walked away and took out her cell phone. After punching in the number, she waited for an answer and then launched her attack. "Dante! You are such a jerk! I remember what you did, and it wasn't funny."

"Hey, Zari. That's great... What exactly are you talking about?"

"You—teaching me to spell my name."

He laughed hard. "Oh, hell, that was funny. I got grounded, but it was worth it."

"It was not funny then, and it isn't funny now."

"Hey. Calm down. Look on the bright side. Another piece of your past has fallen into place. And now that you're a celebrity if people magazine wants to interview me, I have the perfect story to tell. Thanks for the reminder."

"Don't even think about it." She poked the end button on her phone so hard, the tip of her finger tingled.

Gabriel came up behind her. "What was that about?"

She made sure Lina was out of hearing distance. "When I was little, Dante taught me how to spell my name. I was so proud, I wrote it all over the front sidewalk with chalk and called Mom and Dad out to see. There in rainbow colors, I'd written Zit about twenty times."

Gabriel bent over laughing.

She punched his arm. "Not funny!"

"Yeah, it kind of is."

"Men. You're all alike."

Her phone chimed. She started not to accept it, then changed her mind. "What?"

"Did you hang up on me?"

"Yes."

"Well, I wasn't finished talking. I need to tell you something."

"What?"

"I'm proud of you. I know I joke around, but those videos are great. Dad and I are coming to town to see you perform this week. Alisha might come too, but with the new hospital opening..."

"Stop being nice. I can't stay mad at you when you do that."

"Oh, Zaz, you know you can't stay mad at me no matter what."

"I can try."

"What about Owen? Is he coming?"

"Afraid not. You know he has a thing for Gabriel's little sister, so he figures it's safer to stay away. And there's something else. Looks like his unit might be called to active duty."

"When? For how long? To where?"

"Don't know. He had guard duty last weekend, and there was a rumor circulating about it. If it happens, he could leave anytime. Hold on. Someone's at my door. I'll call you back."

Dante using his pet name for her sparked something, and by the end of the call, more memories flooded Zari's brain. They were coming faster now, which meant soon she might recall everything. Still, nothing horrible from her past had returned, and maybe Gabriel was right.

With the exception of her father's death and a failed engagement, perhaps she'd led mostly a charmed life. Yet something still nagged at her. Whatever it was, continued to elude her. No matter how hard she tried to bring the feeling from the back of her mind to the forefront, she couldn't make it happen.

*

Owen pushed past Dante and spun around. "Did you find out anything about Perry?"

So much, he didn't quite know where to begin. He'd even brought Lily in, because she had a habit of finding out anyway, and his brother's wife could charm anyone. The two of them had happened across Bethany while pretending to be newlyweds looking for a new apartment at her complex. Within minutes, the ladies were chatting like old friends. "Maybe. She said she's been seeing a guy named Chaim Witz, but goes by his middle name, Perry. According to her, he's a managing director of a major bank. Didn't give me the name." He paused, considering. "I don't think she knows it. She's got to be in the dark about it, just like Zari. She's so in love with him, it makes me sick this guy could do this to two decent women. She doesn't know he's fooling around either," Dante pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.  "I checked with the owner of the apartment building, and sure enough, the Witz guy is on the lease. You think Perry's using an alias?"

Owen ran his hand down his jaw. This was stranger than he first thought. Perry had told Zari he had his own investment firm. "Why would he do that?"

"I don't know."

"Think. What reason does a man have to use different names with two women?"

Dante cocked his head. "Usually, to keep them from finding out he's married, or to swindle them out of money. Bethany doesn't seem to have any, and we know Zari doesn't. So, you think Perry's got a wife?" Dante stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels.

Owen narrowed his eyes. "There's more to Perry than we first thought. I believe it's time to bring Matthew in."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. He has the resources to investigate Perry—or Chaim—or whatever the hell his name is. You know. He's a criminal attorney. No doubt he'll find out what's going on with the financial wizard."

On the way back to his office, Owen thought of different scenarios concerning the new information. His best bet was that Perry was married and all the out of town trips had to do with a wife and not business as he'd claimed. But three women? Damn, that was a lot to juggle.

And, it stood to reason, if he'd used a different name with Bethany, Perry probably wasn't his real name either. Three women. Three names. He'd have to give him kudos in organizational skills. Keeping track of schedules, aliases, and careers had to be confusing. Guys like that had to have issues. Sociopath? Narcissist? Owen wasn't sure.

All he knew was the guy had been lying to Zari, and he intended to put a stop to it.

__________________________

Scooby Filgard Gang to the rescue!

Do you think Owen's going to be called out for duty?

Wonder whats going on here.