Furno: Hey Surge, I have a question.

Surge: What happened?

Furno: Sooo, I was trying to bake cookies. I didn't burn them. At least not on the outside.

Surge: *tries to process that* Ooookay what's the problem?

Furno: *holds a half of a cookie* I burnt them on the inside somehow.

Surge: *visible blue error screen*

*****

Quadle: ['ight Zib, we got another package full of files that need to be documented]

Zib: *without his mouth moving* Just put them on the desk, I'll deal with them later.

After the sentence was said his mouth moved according to what he said.

Quadle: [... Is your voice box glitching again?]

Zib: *normally* Nah, I'm just messing with ya.

Quadle: [Bro, I thought you were glitching or something!]

*****

Reuniting after decades

Zib: *grocery shopping*

???: Hey, professor! That you?

Zib turns around and sees a tall, purple coloured robot with golden eyes in front of him.

Zib: Mak?

Megahertz: Oh hey! You remember me? I mean, after all, we haven't seen each other for like, 20 years or so-

Girl: Hey look! It's the DJ Mak Megahertz! He's right over there!

Megahertz: ... Sh-t, gotta go, it was nice seeing you again Professor!

Megahertz quickly wrote something and passed Zib the note and ran off, followed by a crowd of people.
Zib waited for them to pass,before looking at the piece of paper.
A phone number was written on it with the words "Call me <3" underneath it.
Zib couldn't help but smile a bit.

Zib: What a doofus.

*****

The team is having breakfast.

Stormer: Quad', where's Zib? He hasn't shown up yet.

Quadle: [He's getting proper sleep for once so I let him sleep in]

Zib comes running in with his bag in one hand.

Zib: Morning everyone no time for chitchat I'm late for work! Stay safe, don't get in trouble, don't get sent to the hospital and try not to wreck the mansion while I'm gone! Good luck Quadle!

Zib quickly grabs a piece of toast and puts it in his mouth. He shouldered his bag, grabbed the car keys and headed to the garage. Seconds later a car is heard driving away.

Furno: ... That really just happened under twenty seconds?

Breez: As if someone was counting.

*****

When Splitface's personalities get split.

Red: Wow, having my own body feels different.

Grey: This is weird...

Red: ... I CAN FINALLY DO WHAT I WANT!!!

Surge: *walks in* What's with the yelling man-?

Red: Surge, quick question. If you had to choose between me and grey, who would you pick?

Surge: *trying to comprehend what's going on* Huh?

Grey: Who would you rather be stuck with, me or this doofus?

Red: Hey!

Surge: *hardware loading* .... Wha?

*****

Megahertz: *holding Zib's face up by the chin* Jesus professor, what did you do?

Zib: Mak, I'm sure you're smart enough to figure that out.

Megahertz: *runs his thumb along the scar* I mean, yeah but I don't understand why you did it.

Zib: Personal reasons. *takes Megahertz's hand and moves it away from his chin* But it's fine now, so don't worry about it.

Wolfie: *walks past* GET A ROOM!

*****

Furno: Introducing. The pencil. You can write with it you can-... Hey, what else can you do with a pencil?

Rocka: *in the back* Shove it down your throat.

Furno: You can shove it down- what?

*****

Zib: *having a conversation with Big Joe*

Fortis: *watching from a distant*

Thresher: You wish that was you, huh?

Bot wheezes at that.

*****

Bulk: *holding his phone* Hey, Rocka! Look here!

Rocka: What?

Bulk: Smile for the camera!

Rocka: No.

Bulk: Pleaaase?

Rocka: No!

Bulk: C'mon~ smile!

Rocka stuck his tongue out at him.

*****

Stress toy

Nebula: This is a stress toy. Every time you feel like causing chaos, just squeeze the toy.

Purge takes the toy and squeezes it. It let out a long squeak, before it popped.

Nebula: ... Oh.

*****

Megahertz: So what is it like to be the practical mom of a whole hero team?

Zib: It's... A full-time job. It's extremely time consuming and it's not as easy as it may seem to some people.

Crashing is heard behind them.

Zib: *runs over* SURGE, FURNO, BREEZ! WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT USING YOUR ANTI-GRAVITY RINGS AT MISSION CONTROL?!

*****

Reala: Are you saying I'm stupid?

NiGHTS: No!

Reala: *leans forward* Do I look stupid to you?

NiGHTS: ... *snorts*

Reala:

NiGHTS: *laughing* I'm sorry!

*****

Teacher and Student AU

Zib: Alright class, field trip time!

Bulk: Yaaaay! We're going on a trip in our favourite rocket ship-

Zib: Shut the f-ck up.

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nS2PCPKomCc

These two

XPlode: Go suck a d-ck! Suck a d-ck! Suck a motherf-cking d-ck!

Rotor: Suck a d-ck~ suck a huge or small di-

*****

Stringer walks past Zib's office.

Zib: Q-quadle, this won't work!

Quadle: [Why not?]

Zib: It's too big! It won't fit!

Quadle: [I thought this is want you wanted!]

Zib: Well, obviously not! I would have been fine with it if it was a little bit smaller.

Stringer, being the dirty mind he is, opens the door.

Stringer: What are you two doing?

Zib: *holding a screwdriver and a pack of screws* We're trying to build up another shelf but Quadle bought the wrong screws.

Stringer: ... Oh.

(This was cursed. I know)

*****

Human AU
PAIN

Zib: *puts a hand in his pocket and flinches*

Quadle: You okay?

Zib: So, I apparently forgot about a pencil I put in my pocket a while ago.

Zib: *pulls his hand back out* And the lead went under my nail. God this is painful even for me. Ow...

*****

Child AU

Stormer: I'm mommy's baby!

Zib: You're what?

Stormer: I'm mommy's baby!

Zib: You're my baby?

Stormer: Yes.

Zib: Aww.

Stormer: And I'm f*cking cute!

Thresher laughs at that.

Zib: ... Kirk, did you teach him how to curse?

Thresher:

*****

How Daniela Capricorn got her job.

Interviewer: So why do you need this job?

Daniela: Because I'm broke. And I need the money.

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=undTvrU_0uU

Brothers

Rocka: I am the left brain I am the left brain. I work very hard until my inevitable death brain. You got a job to do you better do it right. And the right way, is with the left brain! Mike.

Surge: *walks in* I like Oreos and pu-! ... Wait no that's not the line.

Bulk: *snorts*

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=slGfTJKkI9s

If Core Crisis ended differently

Surge: Duncan wake up! I don't like this. Duncan wake up!

Bulk: *is under the girders and not replying*

Surge: Hey, helloooo?

Surge: *slaps Bulk's face* Time to wake up time to wake up.

Surge: *shakes Bulk by the shoulders* Can you hear me? Wake up Duncan!

Surge: *tears start to flood his eyes* I don't like this brother wake up!!!

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htA3pVOfcFE

Purge: *picks up a call* What's up Corroder?

Corroder: Uhhh so remember how Serena randomly turned into a child today?

Purge: Yeah?

Corroder: Uh yeah so uh, she's hungry now and very close to start a killing here. You're on your killing spree, right?

Purge: I know what to do, don't worry.

Corroder: And get some blood as well! We're running out of blood for her.

Purger: Roger, just hold her back until I'm finished.

Later

Corroder: *has a crying Serena on his lap*

Purge teleports in covered in blood and with a corpse behind him. He rips off an arm and gives it to Serena.

Serena: *starts eating it* Nom nom nom nom.

*****

Purge would be proud though.

Zib: *walks into the main room and sees Surge at the front door* Hey Surge, what are you doing?

Surge: *standing with his back to Zib* I uh, j-just came back from my night patrol.

Zib: Is something wrong?

Surge: N-not at all! Hehe...

Zib narrowed his eyes at that. He walked up to Surge and forced him to turn around. He had blood on his face and hands.

Zib: Did you get attacked?

Surge: N-no, I...

Surge's breathing quickened as he sat down on the ground.

Surge: I... Killed a civilian...

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oO0-IwviOj8

Thresher: My crush is going to call me soon, how should I answer???

Fortis: Just say Hola, come tallez, allyou?

Rocka: Sir, was that suppose to be Spanish?

Fortis: I don't even know what language it's suppose to be, just something I heard.

Rocka: *face palms at his Recon Team leader*

Thresher: *phone rings and picks up* Hola! Comment allez, allez-vous? So nice to meet you!

Zib: ... Thresher, you know that I don't understand Spanish.

*****

Breez: I love-

Simp: Me?

Breez: What? No.

Simp:

Breez: *walks off* Ew.

*****

Bulk: *fiddling with his arm*

Surge: What are you doing?

Bulk: It came loose.

Surge: What came loose?

Bulk: *takes his whole arm off so the only connection to his body were the wires* This.

Surge: *screams*

*****

If the HF cast were in Harry Potter

Finding a wand

Surge: *testing out a wand*

The wand: *causes destruction in Olivander's shop*

Olivander: *hiding behind his desk* ... Oh no! Anyways-

Sorting problem

Sorting hat: Hmm interesting. I would say you're in Gryffindor, but a part of you also fit to Slytherin.

Stormer: *sighs* I somehow knew that would happen.

Virus, in his head: It's because of me, ain't it?

Of course you'd do that Zib...

Dumbledore: Why did you fight a student Nathaniel?

Zib: Albus, I'm a Defence against Dark Arts teacher, I need to help them practice.

Dumbledore: *raises a brow at him*

Zib: ... *sighs* They were purposely disturbing class...

DEMENTORS!

Bulk: *sees a dementor approaching* Expectro patronus! ... Wait no that's not how the spell goes...

Rocka: *tightens his grip on the wand* Expecto Patronum!

A sliver of silver mist that had a very faint figure of a dragon, appeared and the dementor backed away. The mist soon vanished and Rocka sat down.

Rocka: God never thought it would be exhausting...

Oh hey look, he can speak Parseltongue. HE CAN SPEAK PARSELTONGUE?!

Rocka: *talking to a snake in the grass*

Furno: What'cha doing?

Rocka: What does it look like?

Furno: You're talking to a snake?

Rocka: Yeah.

Furno: And it understands you?

Rocka: Correct.

Furno: Cool. Wait you can talk to snakes?!?

Rocka: I mean, I can talk to dragons and they're basically overgrown snakes with limbs and wings so-

Furno: YOU CAN TALK TO DRAGONS AND MADE IT OUT IN ONE PIECE?!

*****

Furno: *has his phone in selfie mode; sees Evo behind him* Hey Evo, wanna take a picture?

Evo: *covered in dust and dirt from a solo mission* Are you going to send it to someone?

Furno: Yeah, to Nex.

Furno blinks and shakes his head.

Furno: Huh?

Evo stood next to him all cleaned up.

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3pQeCwhxUo

Shadowzone: *being an a-hole again*

Zib noticed from his area of mission control. His grip on his coffee mug tightened.

Zib: *mutters* Ohh I'm coming for ya. Can't wait to break that machine...

Quadle: [Zib...]

*****

Evo: *walks into the training room* WHAT THE?!

The training room was on fire with Rocka trying to stop it with a fire extinguisher and Lysander nearby.

Rocka: Lysander learned how to breath fire and it got out of hand. Use your element!

Evo: I DON'T KNOW HOW!!

Rocka: JUST TRY IT!

Evo took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He raised up a hand. Water started to form at the ceiling and dropped down, drenching everyone and stopping the fire.

Rocka: *puts the extinguisher away and shakes off the water* See? You did it! Evo?

Evo suddenly swayed and fell backwards. Rocka ran over and caught him.

Rocka: EVO!!!

*****

Cons of being Zib (also, you can picture it as the human AU)

Some half drunk guy: Dude, that girl is so hot. You think I have a chance with her?

Stormer: *trying to get out of that situation* My guy, that's my mother.

Guy: ... Damn she looks so young.

Stormer: *face palms*

Zib: *got convinced to go to a club and was wearing a black crop top, a short jacket and shorts*

Zib: *turns around* I'm a f-cking guy!

*****

Furno: ... Which one is the real Surge?

Both Surges: I am.

Furno: ... Sit.

One of them sits down. The other one crosses his arms in front of his chest and lifts his head up. He glares at Furno with his eyes glowing red. Furno quickly sits down.

Furno: I know you were actually looking up at me but it felt like you were looking down on me.

Surge: That was my intention Furno.

Furno: God you're scary sometimes...

Surge: Good to know.

"Surge": ... Jesus Christ.

*****

Mafia AU
Two idiots doing one job. What could possibly go wrong?

Furno: We took care of the body sir.

Zib: Good, where did you dispose it?

Bulk: The river.

Zib: ... What you gonna do when there's blood in the water?

Furno: What?

Zib: WHEN THERE'S BLOOD IN THE WATER?!!

Bulk: F-ck we'll go fix it!

Bulk and Furno run off.

Zib: *sighs* Idiots...

Stormer: *face palms at his team member*

Surge: *rolls his eyes at his leader*

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8G8RkScanA

Uh... Oops?

Surge: *throws a dagger at Nex*

Nex: *ducks underneath it*

Surge: Nice one Nex! ... *laughs nervously*

Nex: Something wrong?

Coughing is heard behind Nex.

Nex: *turns around* Oh hell...

Lynn stood by the training room door with the dagger embedded in her head and blood trickling down from the wound.

*****

Breez: Hey Surge!

Surge: *sitting on the couch; turns his head 180°* Sup Breez!-

Breez: Oh my god! ... Don't do that again.

*****

Their confession be like

Nex: I have feelings for you.

Evo: I have feelings for you too.

Nex: So... What are we?

Evo: *internally panicking* Uh... Feelers!

Nex: Huh?

Nex.exe stopped working.

*****

Zib: *to Shadowzone* If there weren't other people around right now, I would f-cking kill you.

Surge: Kill him!

Quadle: [No, don't!]

Grant: Do it!

Siren: Do it do it do it do it!

Zib smirks as he takes his mask off and pulls out a knife.

*****

Bulk: If I punch myself in the face and it hurts, am I strong, or weak?

Surge: Strong.

Lynn: Weak.

Siren: A dumbass, is what you are.

*****

Y/N: You are 91 going to 92.

Mr. Makuro: Actually I'm 524.

Y/N: Wait what?!

*****

Purge: I have cat like stupidity.

Nebula: ... *grabs a spray bottle* Let's try it.

Purge: Nononono!

Nebula chases Purge around the base with the spray bottle, until Purge straight up ran against a glass door.

*****

Thunder: You sure you aren't actually a cat?

Purge: *laying on the floor* Yeah I'm sure.

Thunder: M'kay.

Thunder suddenly dropped down next to him. Purge sprang up like a startled cat.

*****

Zib in a bad mood be like

Zib: *walks into the training room* What are you guys doing this time?

Stormer: Trying to break these new cuffs that were designed during breakout. Don't ask why.

Zib: Results?

Stormer: Indestructible.

Zib: ... Gimme one.

Stormer gave Zib the pair he was holding. Zib tried to find a good grip and then, with a loud crack, tore the chain in half.
The team stared at him.

Zib: *drops the parts* A chain is only as strong as it's weakest link. This one was already slightly cracked.

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtr6tRKVdu8

Child AU (inspired by an MHA meme)

Nex: Mommy, will I ever get a power like everyone else?

Zib: But of course Julius!

Nex: But it's been two years since everyone else got a power and I don't! I got skipped over! It's not fair!

Zib: Now now Julius, you see, some things are just a bit delayed. Or they need a trigger in order to happen. I'm sure you'll get yours eventually.

Tears started to form in Nex's eyes as he sniffed quietly.

Zib: *picks him up* Oh honey...

Quadle: *floats in* Zib, what's going on?-

Nex started to cry. As soon as he did, everything in the living room got lifted up and floated in zero gravity.

*****

What if?

Corroder: Never let a boy do a man's work!

With that, Corroder shot acid at a crane that was holding a few iron girders up over Surge. The rope melted and the girders fell down.

Bulk: Surge.

Bulk got up and ran to him. Surge fired a few shots at the girders in vain.

Bulk: SURGE!

The girders fell on the ground with loud clanking sounds, whirling up the sand and dust.
Bulk coughed and waved in front of his face before the dust settled and he froze.
He stared up at the pile in front of him. Surge was no where to be seen. He stood there for a moment, before he dropped his gun and started to push the girders away.

Stringer: Bulk, what are you-?!

Bulk: Surge, can you hear me? Say something!

No answer. Bulk kept pushing the lose girders aside. Meanwhile, Stringer hesitated between helping or focusing on Corroder. He decided for a mix and distracted Corroder while Bulk desperately looked for Surge. After a bit, he caught sight of something blue.

Bulk: *reaches out a hand and grabs it* Surge? Can you hear me?

Still no answer. Bulk started to pull, whatever he was holding to him. It was really lose. He froze when he realized what he was pulling. It was one of Surge's arms. It felt awfully cold. Bulk pulled out the rest of it and dropped it on the ground. What he pulled out was the lower half of Surge's left arm.

*****

Long day of work

Zib: *comes home in the late evening after work*

Zib: I'm just gonna... Sit down for a bit..

Zib put his bag on the couch and sat down, just to land on the floor because he stood next to the couch.

Zib: *laying on the floor* ... I don't even care at this point.

*****

Breez: *takes out a sandwich while on her walk in the forest*

Squirrel: *drops down from a tree on her hand*

Breez: *places it on the ground* If you were trying to take my sandwich, then no. It's mine.

The second she said that, an eagle flew by and snatched the sandwich out of her hand and flew away.

Breez:

*****

Purge online be like

Kid: Yoooo you play Call of Duty?

Purge: In real life? Yeah.

Kid: Yo what?...

Seconds later the kid disconnected. Purge wheezes at that.

*****

Breez: *sees a boar run past the car* Why is there a boar in the city?-

Police: *runs past and blows a whistle* Ayo stop right there you belong in the forest not the city!!!

Breez: ... Should we be worried?

Stormer: *driving the car* I don't think that's a job for us.

*****

Rocka is working on the couch with Shadow watching behind him.

Rocka: *yawns*

Shadow: *leans forward and looks at him*

Rocka: I'm fine Shadow, don't worry.

Rocka goes back to work, just do nod off and fall asleep. As soon as he tilted to the side, Shadow reformed himself next to him and made Rocka lean on his shoulder.

Later

Surge and Bulk walk into the main room and see Shadow and Rocka, asleep leaning against each other. Surge smiles as Bulk took out his phone and snapped a picture.

*****

Little Breez at the aquarium with momma Zib

Breez: *points at a pufferfish* Mama look! He's smiling!

Zib: *chuckles* Looks like he's happy!

Breez held up a finger to the glass. The pufferfish swam over poked the glass where her finger is with his nose.

Breez: *giggles* Boop!

*****

Hello Snowflake.

Breez: *holds up a cracker*

A white pigeon flew by and snatched it. It landed on Breez's shoulder and started to eat it.

Breez: *smiles and scratches the pigeon's head* Good job Snowflake!

*****

Rocka: *standing by a cliff* Right, you ready to see if all that practicing worked?

Lysander nodded his head excitedly.

Rocka: Alright then! But be careful.

Lysander ran to the edge and dropped off. Literally.
Rocka ran over and looked down, just to see Lysander flying back up. He let out a happy roar as he did a few loopings, while Rocka watched with a smile.

*****

Siren: *at a drive through where the speaker got run over and was on the ground* ... Uhh can.. Can you hear me?

Speaker: *static free* Loud and clear.

*****

The team is swimming in the pool

Surge: *squatting by the edge*

Furno: ... *sneezes that echoed through the room*

Surge flinches and falls into the water, from which he immediately scrambled back out off.

Stormer: Nice one Furno...

*****

These two walking home alone be like

Nex: Hey do you know George?

Evo: George who?

Nex: George bush!

Nex proceeds to shove Evo who fell into the bush next to them, sinking in and disappeared.

Nex: ... Uhhh Nathan?

Evo: I'm okay! *wheezing as he sticks a hand out* Help me I can't get up!

*****

Zib strong.

Bulk: *cleaning a window while standing on a ladder*

The ladder suddenly wobbled and Bulk fell off.

Zib: *happens to just walk out and caught Bulk*

Zib: You okay?

Bulk: Ya. How are you still standing?

Zib: Should I not?

*****

Stormer. A flustered mess.

Breez: *standing behind the couch recording* Babe, what's your biggest fear?

Stormer: *reading a book* If I'm being honest, one of them would be losing you.

Breez: What?

Stormer: Just, the thought of not being able to wake up next to you ever again. *turns around* You're like, the only person who is able to make me smile when I'm sad-

Stormer realizes she's recording and disappeared behind the couch while Breez giggled.

Breez: Aww honey!

*****

Ouch.

Wolfie: *holding a weighted blanket*

Zib: *comes out of the cellar door behind her with a box and goes upstairs*

Wolfie: *throws the blanket over herself, stumbles, falls through the door that was still open and down the stairs*

Zib: *comes back and notices Wolfie is gone; looks down the stairs* The f-ck happened?

*****

(Pretend it's winter so this makes sense)

Zib: *recording at the bottom of a hill* Alright, let's do it!

Furno slides down on a pair of skis and hits a bump. He jumped up and landed. On his face.

Furno: *sits up* I'm fine mom, don't worry!

Zib: You better be!

Surge comes down with a snowboard and hits the same exact bump, he unintentionally flipped and landed, but when he got back up he lost his balance and fell backwards.

Surge: ... That was fun I'm gonna do it again!

Zib: Don't, you're gonna end up breaking your neck-

Bulk zooms past them on a sleigh screaming, followed by Nex. They both went further down the hill, to the even steeper part.

Zib: BULK!! NEX!!

Zib put his phone away, got onto his snowboard and followed them.

Surge: *helping Furno back up* And they're gone.

*****

Human AU (so it makes more sense)

Zib walks into the bathroom after waking up. He took his toothbrush, put toothpaste on it and put it in his mouth.

Quadle: *walks in* Zib, take that razor out of your mouth are you crazy?!

Zib was confused until he felt a sudden pain in his mouth. He took the "toothbrush" out and blinked. He accidentally grabbed his razor and there was blood on it.

*****

Quadle may always float around, but that don't mean he can't fall.

Quadle stops floating and "sits" on a chair.

Wolfie: *pops up next to him* Ayo first time I ever see you not float!-

Quadle proceeds to fall off the chair.

Quadle: *floats back up* I fell down but I'm fine. I fell down hard. Ow.

*****

This is what Zib does in his free time (with Websy) and no one can change my mind.

Zib: Play dead.

Websy drops off the table and Zib catches her. She laid on her back with her legs folded and didn't move.
Zib was actually concerned and poked her. The tarantula squirmed and got back on her legs.

*****

Breez's pigeon snowflake just chilling in the main room.

Raven: *drops down next to her* Hello pigeon!

Snowflake runs off and hides behind the TV.

Raven: ... What did I do wrong?

*****

Breez: ... Mom, your tarantula wants attention.

Zib: *looks at Websy who's clinging on his leg* So that's where you've been the whole time.

*****

Everyone's personalities are changed for a day.

Zib: *covering his ears at the chaos in the main room* Please quiet down...

Surge: ... One.

Bulk stops yelling.

Surge: Two.

Evo quiets down.

Surge: Three.

Siren becomes quiet. The rest were still yelling.

Surge: *voice deepens as he closes his eyes* He said... *eyes flash red* BE QUIET!!!

Everyone shut up at that.

*****

Shadowzone: *glares at Zib as he takes out a dagger*

Zib: So you intend to fight me?

Zib: *chuckles as he takes out his own knife* Good.

*****

It's called a bond.

Lysander: *mentally to Rocka* Papa, is Bolt my older brother?

Rocka: Well- *realizes* Did you just talk to me through your mind?

Lysander: Yes.

Rocka: ... So you created a bond with me?

Lysander: Uh-huh.

Rocka is too surprised to reply.

*****

Siren: *using a tiktok filter*

The filter: You have 30 seconds to live.

Siren: Eh, it's only a filter anyways. I won't die.

Siren's door opened with a creak.

Siren: *slowly turns around and takes her knife out* Who the f-ck is there?

*****

Pokémon fact: When three Magnemite link to become Magneton, their brains also combine. But they don't get any smarter.

Surge after reading that: Me and my dumbass brothers.

*****

Little boy (age 10) is credited for his dad's life. After he couldn't wake him up, he took action.

Child!Stormer: I called 911, but first I slapped him with a piece of pizza.

Zib trying to surpress a laugh in the background and gets into a coughing fit.

*****

Rocka: *two seconds into work*

His "brain": Hocus pocus you've now lost your focus.

Rocka: ... *frustrated yelling in Spanish*

*****

Zib: Alright Stormer, say " frog".

Child!Stormer: F... Fr...

Zib: C'mon, frog.

Stormer: F... F-ck.

Zib: Uh no no, say frog.

Stormer: F-ck!

Thresher: *snorts*

Zib: No, frog.

Stormer: F-ck!

Thresher: *falls over wheezing*

*****

Sonic meme I found.

Sonic: My middle name is capable.

Knuckles: I thought your middle name was The?

*****

Rocka: *in Zib's room at night* Mom.

Zib: *asleep*

Rocka: Mom.

Zib: *wakes up* What?

Rocka: I threw up-

Zib: *gets out off bed and falls*

*****

Breez: Nature sometimes gives you a sign.

Rocka: *gestures to a bush that is shaped like it's flipping him off* Nature hates me and that's for sure.

*****

Pretending Lysander got hurt.

Rocka: *cleaning Lysander*

Rocka: *gasps* Sh-t damn it F-ck!

Lysander: *confused*

Rocka: How did it come off?! I was just scrubbing your back!

Lysander: *mentally to Rocka* What came off?

Rocka: A scale popped off! *hugs him* Oh god I'm so sorry buddy.

Lysander, who was scared at that point, hugged Rocka back.

Rocka: *pats his back* I'm sorry... It was a prank.

Lysander pulled his head back with an expression that screamed "B-tch you serious?".

*****

Stringer was singing in the main room with Bulk a bit by the side starring at him. The way he sung was like a siren. Surge walks in with headphones.

Surge: *hits Stringer on the back of his head* Stop singing you already got Bulk hypnotized!

*****

Purge is flying over a forest until a dragon suddenly flew up from below him, almost hitting him. Purge lost his balance and fell down, through the tree roofs, the branches and onto the forest floor that wasn't exactly soft either but rocky.

Purge: *pushes himself back up with a groan and sees a group of hunters in front of him* ... Uh, hi?

Hunter #1: *looks up and back down, then to his companions* How the f-ck did he not die?!

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLL2XwhmAgw

Hero Factory in FNaF roles

Furno: *as night guard* Pffft, this job is a total joke. ... *jumps up* WHO THE F-CK ARE YOU?!

Evo: *taking the role of Foxy* Hello!

Evo comes at Furno, making him scream.

Thresher: *in the role of springtrap; hears the screaming* Oh this is my chance to catch him by surprise!

Thresher: *runs in* Come at thee!

Furno: *hits Thresher in the knees with a crowbar*

Thresher: *falls to the floor and holds his knee* AH! My f-cking knees!

Furno: GET CROWBARRED B-TCH! Thanks for the crowbar Evo.

Thresher: Evo, WHAT THE FUACK?!!

Evo: I don't know I was bored!

Furno: *leans down* Hey Thresher, ya hear that?

The clock hit 6 am.

Thresher: Oh go f-ck yourself...

*****

(Introducing two hero OCs)

Oceania Cataracta: I wish you were lesbian so we could make out.

Wilma Flintstone: Who said I wasn't?

Cataracta: Wha?

Flintstone: *casually takes a sip of her soda*

******

POV: Rocka's a baby

Rocka is sitting on the ground with Zib in front of him who was trying to figure out what happened.

Rocka: *holds his hands up at Zib*

Zib: ... You want me to pick you up?

Rocka nods. Zib sighs and picked him up in a cradle.

Zib: ... I just noticed how small you are.

Bulk: ... Rocka is my baby brother.

Surge: In the literal sense.

*****

Thresher trying to make it up to Zib after a fight. (In a different universe)

Thresher: Hey babe-

Zib: No.

Thresher: C'mon please just-

Zib: I don't have time for this Thresher.

Thresher: Just give me one minute.

Zib: *sighs* What?

Thresher: I think my shirt smells but I can't really tell. Do you smell it too? Like, can you tell me if it smells.

Zib rolls his eyes and walks up to Thresher. Thresher took the chance and kissed Zib on the head.

Zib: *looks up with a confused face*

Thresher: Love you.

Zib: Aw. *slaps Thresher*

Thresher: *chuckles* Ow...

Zib: Love you too Kirk.

*****

Purge: Biology says you're 7% blood. Chemistry says you're 70% water and physics says you're 99.9999% empty space.

Purge: While I think you're 101% STUPID!

Reasons:

Corroder: *gets in trouble for adrenaline rush*

Thunder: *self explanatory*

Nebula: *straight up a nutcase*

Fire Lord: *second most stupid person next to Thunder*

The Shadow Villains: *always fighting with each other*

*****

Serena: I have a dagger.

Purge: I have a sword.

Serena: I have claws.

Purge: I have magic.

Serena: I can be a killing machine.

Purge: I have a whole entire army of which every individual is a killing machine.

*****

Child AU

Stormer (19): Mom, William got his head stuck again.

Zib: *sighs* Where did he get it stuck this time?

Furno (12): *walks past the room trying to pull off a chair*

Stormer: Chair.

*****

Evo: *is meditating*

Furno was tossing a knife in the air, before he threw it at Evo. Evo, keeping his eyes closed, caught and threw it to the side, hitting a blank hero in the chest, before retracting his arm and returning to his original state.

*****

Surge: If I had a nickel for every time I teleported into the villain's lair, I would have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's still strange that it happened twice.

Stormer: I'm sorry what did you say?

*****

Stacey (Siren's bio mom): You DARE call yourself human!?

Stormer: *in his human form* No. Of course I don't.

Stormer: *glares at her while Siren was behind him* And neither should you.

*****

POV: Bulk is on a solo mission

Bulk: *is running away from XPlode before he trips and face plants onto the ground*

XPlode: *stops* How the f-ck did you just tri-

XPlode: *gets hit in the face by a rock*

*****

Nebula: *holding a crucifix* THE POWER OF CHRIST-

Purge: *squatting in a corner growling at him*

Nebula: COMPELS YOU!!! *proceeds to throw holy water at Purge*

Purge: *demonic screeching*

Nebula: GET OUT OF MY BROTHER'S BODY, DEMON!!!

The other villains: *just standing there watching*

Serena: *walks in* What-

Corroder: Don't ask Sugarcube. Just. Don't ask.

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4A02cq_Zk1g

Purge can't read outloud.

Purge: When you- you. ... When you- god damn it... When-.. Wheeen- When you... Youuu...

Purge: *cries* I can't reaaaaaaaad.

Nebula just being concerned for Purge.

*****

Rocka during Brain Attack

Rocka: *sees Black Phantom's pet clones crawl towards him* Looks like Hero Factory forgot to pay their exterminator bills.

*****

Furno: *standing next to a scene with fire trucks and such* ... There's a fire hydrant. On fire.

*****

Zib: There's nothing more I hate than being the center of attention. And yet here I am.

Zib: *in mission control while Shadowzone is being lead to the medical wing after a fight* All eyes on me. So what do I do now?

*****

If Zib had Bulk's personality-

Bot: Zibby, Mr. Makuro wants you to go to his office.

Zib: Whatrrr I do?

Bot: Just go.

Zib: Whatrrrr I do?!

Bot: Just go!

Zib: WHATRRR I DO?!!

*****

Worker: Sir, you need to do something about Zib constantly fighting Shadowzone.

Mr. Makuro: D-I-L-L-I-G-A-F. Dilligaf! And it means-

Worker: Mr. Makuro-

Mr. Makuro: Do I look, like I give a f-ck?

*****

Wolfie: How can you be short AND sad?

Siren: ... Jokes on you you're shorter.

Wolfie: ... F-ck.

Beep

Zib: *close to falling asleep in his office*

Fortis: How can you be tiny and upset?

Zib: *dude where did you come from?*

Bot: B-tch you're not DE-pressed you're COM-pressed.

Zib: GET THE F-CK OUT OF MY OFFICE!

*****

Splitface and Black Phantom came for a visit.

Rocka: Boys, what happened?

B.P: Oh, uh nothing, just the usual of being an ex-villain.

Surge: You better tell us before I make you.

Splitface: Uhhh-

Surge: *grabs Split face by the "collar" and pulls him down* Spit. It. Out.

Rocka: Brother, calm down it can't be that bad-

Splitface: A civilian said we'll always remain as villains and it would have been better if we died on the spot!

Surge: ... *looks at Rocka*

Rocka: Someone has a death wish count me in bro!

*****

Breez: *opens Stormer's door* Babe, are you feeling alright? You're usually awake by now.

Stormer was sitting on his bed, rubbing his eye with one hand and holding a polar bear plush with the other.

Stormer: *half asleep* Hm?

Breez: *mentally* I can't he's so adorable I'm dying right now omg omg omg omg omg-

*****

Human AU

Bulk: Don't break someone's heart because they only have one.

Bulk: *in a hospital* Instead, break your bones cuz you have 206 of them!

Stringer: Babe...

*****

How the household of the mansion react to a noise from downstairs

Stormer: *standing next to the door ready for a fight and has Virus on standby*

Furno: *holding his e-guitar like a bat*

Stringer: *most likely didn't even hear it and is in his room*

Bulk: *holding a chair*

Breez: *has a pair of scissors*

Surge: *is behind the couch with Shadow and Rocka*

Nex: *close to the staircase with a knife and Quadle next to him*

Wolfie: *holding a note stand*

Creator: *unbothered and on the couch*

Raven: *behind Wolfie in her wolf form*

Siren: *next to Stormer with her knife*

Evo: *upstairs by the railing with his trident while fighting back a panic attack*

Zib: *next to Evo with a shotgun*

Evo: ... Where'd you get that shotgun from?

Zib: I've always had it.

Evo: ... How many weapons do you have?!

Zib: Hm... A dagger, three pocket knifes, a pistol, two swords, a katana, a shotgun and an axe. Ten in total.

Evo: Dude.

*****

Bulk: *wheezing in a mall*

Surge: Bro, you okay?

Bulk: *still wheezing* I love that f-cking sign.

Surge looks at the sign Bulk was pointing at. It was a "In case of fire, use stairs". It had a picture of a stick figure holding a set of stairs and beating the fire with it.

Surge.exe stopped working.

*****

Zib: *about to get in the car after shopping*

Guy: *flips out a knife* Give me all your money, old man.

Zib: *freezes for a moment before clutching his chest* Ack, god, call an ambulance! Call an ambulance!

Guy: *doesn't know what to do*

Zib: *takes out a gun* But not for me.

*****

Corroder: Hey Purge.

Purge: *reading a book* Hm?

Corroder: Why do old people take their glasses off when answering questions?

Purge: *takes his glasses off and thinks for a moment* Dunno.

Corroder: *snorts*

Purge: ... *realizes* Thanks for making me feel old, man!

*****

Nex: *walks into Evo's room* Heyyy Nathan, wanna go out? *stops* ... What's that?

Evo: *holding a blue furby* A furby. I named it Cotton.

Nex: Those things are haunted, y'know?

Evo: Well, mine didn't do anything weird or creepy yet.

Nex:

Evo: OKAY, it sometimes makes random sounds in the middle of the night but that stops as soon as I take the batteries out.

The furby starts moving in Evo's hands.

Evo: The fu- I literally JUST took the batteries out!

Nex: *walks out* Yeah no I'm getting Surge's crucifix that thing is cursed.

*****

Heaven or Revenge?

Zib was on his way home with Rocka in the evening before they got ambushed by a group of killers.

Killer #1: Put your hands up and if you don't try anything, this will pass quickly.

Zib: Do whatever you want as long as you don't do anything to my son!

The shooter thought for a moment before agreeing with a slight nod and shot Zib.
Zib appeared in front of two gates, one leading to heaven and the other is revenge. Zib was about to choose the heaven gateway when Rocka appeared behind him.

Zib: Knew I shouldn't haven trusted that guy...

Zib pushed Rocka through the gateway he wanted to go and ran to the revenge gate.

*****

Did you know rabbits can do this?

Breez is in the backyard with a rabbit and Surge nearby, who was lying on the ground.
The rabbit picked up a pinecorn in it's mouth, jumped and threw it up and kicked it with it's hindlegs. The pinecorn hit the side of Surge's face, making him sit up and look around in confusion.

******

Nex: Guys I heard something from the basement and I'm kinda scared.

Nex: *opens the door* If you're here to kill me clap your hands.

Slow clapping is heard.

Nex: F-ck this sh-t I'm out.

Zib: *sighs* LYNN! GET THE F-CK OUT OF THE BASEMENT YOU DON'T LIVE DOWN THERE!!!

*****

POV: Quadle gets confronted.

Quadle: Wanna see a magic trick?

Guy: *holding a knife* ... Uh, okay?

Quadle: *pulls out a gun* Abrakadabra!

*****

Purple Quazas be like: Hippity Hoppity your body is now my property.

*****

Person: Does anybody love you?

Past V.Boss: No, but I'm pretty good with guns now. *Reloads it* Die b-tch!

*****

Nebula wants attention.

Nebula: *nudging a glass towards the table edge*

Purge: *tidying the kitchen; rushes over and grabs the glass* No! No.

Nebula: Gimme attention.

Purge: When I'm done cleaning up bro.

*****

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tU0X_yFDXOk

Zib: *talking to Quadle*

Wolfie: OOOOOO

Zib: What the?

Wolfie: *inhales* OOOOOO-

Zib: What's wrong, what's going on?

Wolfie: *t-poses* Among us.

Zib: NO-

The whole entire team gets teleported to the skeld from Among Us.

*****

You know you're getting old when all your injuries are from "sleeping weird".

Surge: *gets off the couch and immediately face plants cuz of pain in his left leg*

Later

Surge: *sitting by the dining table with a crutch*

Zib: *making coffee* How in the world did you twist your knee?

Surge: From sleeping in a weird position apparently.

Nex: I mean, you did fall asleep on the couch soo.

*****

Purge is looking at his own mirror reflection. His reflection started to change. The eyes turned black as black goop poured from them and the mouth.

Reflection: I am your fear, your dark side! I am the nightmare from which you NEVER escaped in all these years. Standing before me.

Reflection: *reaches to him through the mirror* You, are NOTHING!

Purge: *slaps the hand away* Are you done yet?

*****

Creepypasta AU (first meet)

Jeff the Killer: *slides in*

Zib: *reading information about his next victim* ... Who the f-ck are you?

Jeff: My name is Jeff.

Zib: *not amused of the meme reference*

Surge: *bends over while trying to suppress a laugh*

*****

Momma Purge

Purge: *is (trying) to read out loud by the kitchen table with a Shadow Kid on his head, one on his shoulder, carrying one in his arm, another is on his lap and the last one is peering over the table*

Nebula: ... When did you make kids, I thought you always created them as adults?

Purge: *looks up* I didn't. They can shapeshift and decided to TURN themselves into children.

*****

Siren: I came in here to look for ramen and didn't find any, so I thought we were out of ramen but NO!

Siren: *takes a chair, places it under the cupboard and steps on it* No! Some tall a**hole shoved it all the way the f-ck back there! Oh f-ck desperate measures...

Siren: *gets a pack* Yes! *Falls of the chair* AHH!

Stormer runs over and catches her.

*****

Traitor/Hacker AU

Furno: You... Tricked us.

Surge: *sent information to the villains and only let them spare a few heroes, including his team* Tricked you? Nah, I saved you.

*****

Arachnophobia hitting hard.

Bulk: *has his hand wrapped up with a towel*

Siren: What are you doing?

Bulk: *points at the wall* I'm gonna try and kill it.

The spider moves an inch. Bulk immediately flinched back.

Siren: Kill it kill it kill it kill it!

Bulk decides to hit the wall, probably killing the spider, but also leaving a hole behind.

*****

Catboy Zib cuz yes.

Zib: *sitting on the ground, questioning his life choices that could have lead to this moment*

Siren: Oi Grandma.

Zib: *ear twitches and looks at her* What?

Siren: *reaches out a hand to pet him*

Zib: *tail fluffs up as his ears folded back and hissed at her*

Reference picture:

*****

This has been in drafts for so long cuz I was inactive and I still need to copy some RPs into this book for the tournament and other books as well. Lord have mercy on my soul, I swear.